Shifters of Grrr 1 (5 page)

However, his heart still longed for that one person to call his own and while there was never lack of a warm body in his bed, there was a severe lack of a person to fill his heart. While it was a fun thing in his late teens and twenties, at 30 he was starting to get the feeling it was time to find something real to hold on to. He needed someone to confide in, to show his bear shifter side and them not be afraid of it, and even to spend a life with. He was beginning to think it may never happen.

He'd had enough.

"End of an era," he started as he looked around the bar that evening with his friend, "I'm done. Seriously done."

"Done with what?" Jason, Holden's oldest friend, asked.

"Women."

"Woah dude, you know I'm honored but..." Jason started to laugh. Jason had known he was gay years before coming out to Holden in their high school gym.
 

"Oh stop flattering yourself, Jase; I'm just saying I'm taking a vow of celibacy."

Wild laughter emerged from Jason, almost making him choke on his drink. He'd always thought of Holden as a bit of a player and now he was saying he was done with sex?
 

"Holden you know you can't go two weeks without wanting to get with some girl you barely know. You'll never last."
 

"I have to. Tell you what, we'll make a wager. If I don't last six months, you can have the shop. I'm that serious. I want a lasting relationship and not just random sex now. It's important to me."

Give up his shop?
Jason was taken aback. His shop meant everything to him; he'd never just casually throw that on the table unless he truly meant he was serious. He looked deep into the brown eyes of his best friend, the man who stood by him no matter what. In that moment, he saw the pain of years of loneliness and wanted nothing but the best for him.

"Alright. Six months from today. December 12th," Jason put the date in his phone and turned to Holden with a good natured slap on the back, "I sincerely hope you make it."

Chapter Two: Emily

The quiet giggles radiated through the room as she typed rapidly on the keyboard. An introvert, Emily kept up to date with her friends through the computer. It was easier than trying to meet up only to have some medical emergency come up and her have to leave. She'd resigned herself to staying at home as much as possible and living vicariously through her extended social media friends.

Caught in the middle of a battle of wits with a group of friends that had joined together on a chat messenger, she was interrupted by the blaring of her cell. It took her a few moments to get to it on the far table as she winced trying to get up from her seated position.

Getting old
, she laughed,
growing stiffer by the day it seems.

Emily had just sat the phone back down on the charging base and walked into the small kitchen of the apartment she rented. While it had always been enough for her through the years, it now felt too small and confining for her taste. The glass rattled in her hand as she tried to pour her some juice; still shaken by the news. She knew this day was coming, but deep down she always hoped she had more time. At 27 she had already beaten the odds, and she had hoped that luck would last. The doctor today had let her know the luck she'd had for so long would soon run out.
 

Six months, plus or minus a few weeks. I need to get the rest of my life condensed down in to a six month timeframe now.

She wondered if she should tell her friends and family and then decided that it would be better for them not to be burdened, for them to continue to be positive and happy while around her instead of sad. Emily exhaled, stopped feeling sorry for herself, and started making a plan.

'Do or Die' she wrote at the top of a piece of paper. Under it, she began to list everything she needed to do. Everything she'd ever considered but was too afraid to do she hastily scribbled down. The list held secret desires ('get a tattoo'), things normally outside her moral code ('have a one night stand'), and things she thought everyone deserved to have before they died ('find love').

Tomorrow, the new Emily Heart was preparing to enter the world and the world needed to watch out.

The sun peeked through the window blinds and let Emily know it was time to rise and especially shine. It was the first day of her 'Do or Die' plan which meant to cross off the first listing. One quick internet search and she had the number to the local tattoo shop, a place called Bearskin Tattoos. She called to set up an appointment, paid her deposit over the phone, and jotted the date of it on a post-it note and stuck it to her fridge. One week from now, she'd be the proud owner of some ink.
Now I probably need to figure out what to get
, she thought.

She eyed the rest of her list. Some of the things that stood out for her included 'travel', 'eat something exotic', and 'wear something sizzle-hot'. She laughed over the last one. She was always dressing comfortably because of her medical issues. Things that hugged her lush frame were, at times, painful. Pressure points were everywhere on her, so instead of looking sexy or fashionable, she looked ready for bed. To her, it was the price she paid for better days.
Now
, she thought,
screw better days, I'm going to look hot for once in my life.

A shrill chime alerted her to incoming messages on her computer. Emily went and sat in front of the sleek machine; last year's birthday present to herself. Soon she found herself engulfed in gaming and conversation with four of her closest friends. Everyone asked how she felt and she was warm with love for them and their caring nature. She didn't, however, tell them her news. Better they grieve later than to be sad for months on end.

Chapter Three: Bearskin Tattoos

Holden opened the shop feeling better than ever. Over the past week he'd let go of 30 years of anxiety. Today started his new life, at least for the next six months, of not focusing on turning dates and one night flings into something substantial. Taking sex off the table was going to open him up to new experiences and new thoughts, and he couldn't wait to see what life brought him.

His appointment book was filled with his regulars. His clients loved his work and Holden loved how easy it was to enjoy his work when it was filled with people he saw on a regular basis. However, there was one name on the list he didn't recognize. He'd never tattooed her before, he wasn't connected with her on his tattoo social media account, and he did not remember ever talking to her about a tattoo. Emily Heart was penciled in for his last appointment with a "tattoo idea unknown" beside it. Holden rolled his eyes and tried not to tense up. He hated people who had no idea what they wanted. Typically it would take most of the appointment time for them to pick something and then would fuss about getting it because they weren't in love with the tattoo itself just the thought of getting one.

He hoped that this experience would be different and even went to sketch in his down time some ideas in case she liked them. With the day filled as it were, there was only enough downtime for three sketches to be completed in the interim.
If she doesn't like any of them, I'll just put them up on the wall as 'custom' work that people can chose.
 

He looked over his drawings which consisted of a butterfly coming out of a chrysalis, a tribal heart in reference to her last name that also has remnants of the letters that made up Emily, and lastly a black and white lion with an anatomically correct heart in vibrant red. He loved them all and was hoping that one was going to thrill her as much as it did him to draw them.

At 9:05 a blonde haired curvy girl strode in looking like she belonged anywhere else but there. Everyone else in the shop was busy in their cubicles on other clients, so he went out to greet her.

"Emily?" he asked as she came to the sales counter.

"Yes, sorry I'm a little late." She seemed pale and a little out of breath to Holden.
 

"No problem. Everything okay?"
 

"Just a little more tired than I thought I'd be at this hour. Can we get started?" she said, not meaning to rush but knowing that she'd pay for staying stiff and unmoving throughout the time it'd take to get the tattoo completed. Her body would be on fire tomorrow and she'd more than likely spend the entire day in bed from it.

"No problem. Fill out this paper and I'll prep the area. Since you didn't know what you wanted I brought out some of the idea books and three custom sketches that I did for you in case one of those tickled your fancy."

He laid the books down in front of her and put the three sketches on top for her to browse.
 

He wiped down the entire station with alcohol, opened a fresh needle, loaded the tattoo gun and redid all the plastic wrap to ensure a clean environment before calling her back.
 

"Did you choose one?" he asked as soon as she walked in and sat on the table.

"I really love this one. Could you put that on my thigh?"
 

He looked at the sketch she held, the one of the lion, before looking up at her with a slight smile.
Emily the Lion-hearted.

"Excellent choice, the color will just pop where you want it to be."

She laid back and rolled her skirt up to her waist, unashamed and bolder than she'd ever been. She felt empowered already.

Throughout the hours of line work and then shading, Holden would remind her to breathe. He would get her water whenever she started to look paler than when she walked in. He noticed she wasn't chatty like the other girls he tattooed. Her green eyes held sadness and pain.

"So what prompted you to get a tattoo?" he asked, breaking the silence.

"Just doing some life changes. Made a list of everything I wanted to do that I had been too apprehensive to do." She didn't feel the need to give him the whole truth when a fraction would suffice.

"I can understand that. A bucket list."

"A what?"
 

"Bucket list. That's what I've always heard them called. List of things someone wants to do before they die."

A barely noticeable shiver went through Emily's body. Under Holden's touch, the bear inside him sensed it. It could feel her heart speed up and her body temperature alter, more than is normal in getting a tattoo. It alerted Holden to her distress.

"Everything okay?" he asked.

"Yes, sorry, must be a tender spot." She replied.
Very tender
, she thought,
in fact you hit it right on the head.

He went on in the relative silence, comforting her when she seemed pained. At the end of the session, he let her view it in the full-length mirror and saw the happiness radiate through her.

"It's perfect." She whispered; a tear falling down her face.

Holden rubbed the shop's blend of petroleum jelly and oils over it, covered it with a bandage, and went to get her the list of aftercare instructions.
 

"And if you need anything, anything at all, call me."
 

His hand went out and took the paper and wrote a number on it without thinking twice about it. His home number, not the shop's.

And with her smile and gentle wave to him, she walked out into the night air.

He reminisced about the encounter after she was gone. He remembered how she sat stoic through it, even though she looked weaker than a kitten. He thought of how her body reacted, how he could feel the sadness coursing through her. He wanted to know more about her; what made her tick, what drove her to make the list, and why she had reacted so intensely to the bucket list. Holden realized he almost didn't care if he lost the shop over her.

Chapter Four: The Invitation

She sat there at the edge of her bed and gently traced the now-healed lines of her tattoo. Each morning she looked at it and smiled. She didn't know how he got it so perfect; how he had captured the strength and bravery she wanted to have in these final months.

The aftercare sheet lay crumbled in the waste bin, not having been looked at in the weeks since the appointment. Once you read it, you didn't really need to keep it around. Keep it out of sunlight, keep it moist while it heals, and don't rub it after a shower. Simple enough.

The one thing that she hadn't done though was empty that waste basket.
 

She walked over and pulled the paper out and rubbed it with her hands to straighten out the creases. There, in the corner, was why she kept it. His name and number.

She looked over at her list and saw it there staring at her. Have a one night stand. While she ached to fulfill 'fall in love' she knew she needed to knock the one night stand off first. She'd never been the bold one. Every school dance she waited for someone to ask her. Even now she waited for invitations. Not this time. This time Emily was going to go and make the first move.

The phone shook in her hand as she pressed the numbers.

"Hello?" A sleepy Holden, answered.

Shit
, she thought,
just because I'm up at this hour doesn't mean a guy that stays up tattooing all night is.
 

"Hey, sorry if I woke you. This is Emily. The girl you gave the lionheart tattoo to?"