Shoulda Been A Cowboy (42 page)

“
Then why would you think it'd matter to me?
I married you for real, for keeps, forever. I want to spend the rest
of my life loving you, not making babies with you.”

“
You're too good to be true.”

“
Nah. Just crazy about my wife.” Cam kissed
her again. “Besides, if we ever get a handle on how to parent
the kid we've already got, and if we decide we want more, we
can adopt. After what we've seen the world over…we both
know—you probably better than anyone—that there are kids
all over the world who need a home.”

“
You want to adopt Anton?”

“
Yes. I know you're surprised.”

“
That's putting it mildly.”

“
It's taken me time to adjust. Maybe you
should've kept me in the loop as far as what legal steps you
were taking alone, with the help of Ginger Paulson, on lining up
Anton's adoption.”

Her face flamed. “You knew?”

“
Only because I saw her bill on your desk at
Dewey's. Were you going to tell me?”

“
Maybe. Probably. I guess I wanted to see if you'd
change your mind.”

“
Princess, I'm damn stubborn. Once I set my
mind to something, I don't change it. Since you've been
sick and I've been hanging out with Anton I had an epiphany of
sorts. I realized I really like the kid. I also understood that for
the last two months I tried to get along with Anton for your sake.
That's unfair, not only to you, but to me, and most of all to
Anton.

“
It's scary shit being entrusted with the
care of a child, but you've bucked up to the challenge so can
I. Anton deserves better than my half-assed attempt at being a father
figure. He needs a real father and I intend to be one to him if he'll
let me.”

Domini closed her eyes. She was half afraid if she
reopened them she'd find this was all some kind of cruel dream.
One of those where everything she'd ever wanted was within her
grasp and as soon as she reached for it, it'd vanish into mist
and she'd wake up.

“
Domini? Say something.”

“
Am I dreaming?”

“
No baby, this is as real as it gets.”

Chapter Twenty-Four

Everything Domini said, everything that'd come
out, gave Cam an unbelievable sense of relief their marriage was
real—and finally on the right track. When Domini insisted on
helping his mother clean up, he'd been grateful for a few
moments alone. Not that it'd last long. Sure enough he heard,
“Cam?”

He glanced up at Jack Donohue's approach. Cam
tried not to scowl at the man his sister hated, who was also his
brother's best friend. “Hey, Jack. What's up?”

“
Not much. I'm looking for…”
Jack jammed his hands in his pockets and scowled at his shoes.

Cam knew who Jack was seeking out, but no way would he
point the man in Keely's direction. But he would let the poor
sucker off the hook. “You looking for Carter?”

“
No, I know where Carter and Thane are. They're
partnering up for the games. Are you joining in?”

His mother loved games. Which meant she subjected her
children to games, even as adults. “I haven't decided.
Why?”

“
I saw Anton sitting by himself on the porch
swing.”

His eyes narrowed. Did Jack's tone sound a little
judgmental?

“
Jesus. Do all you McKays practice that fiery
death stare from the cradle?” Jack demanded.

“
Yep.”

“
Awesome. I'd hate to think that
foul-mouthed cowgirl cornered the market on dirty looks in this
family.” He sighed. “Anyway, I just thought you should
know about Anton.” Jack sauntered off.

Cam headed for the front of the house, discreetly
rubbing at the top of his socket. He was sweating like crazy and the
damn thing itched today.

When he saw Anton with Gracie's head in his lap,
the dejected look on the kid's face released a flood of
emotions, none of which he knew how to handle.

Figure it out.

“
Why so glum chum?” Cam asked from the
bottom of the stairs. “Why aren't you playing games with
the rest of your—”
cousins
,
but Cam amended it to, “—buddies?”

Anton didn't look up. “I don't know
how to throw a rope. How to hook something with a rope. How to tie
something up with a rope. I don't know how to do any of that
ranch and cowboy stuff.”

“
That's all they're doin'?”

“
No. There
was
a foot race. I got third. Colt got first and Ky got second.”

Cam bit back a groan. Colt's competitive streak
would never go away. “Third is damn good.”

Anton finally looked at him. “You really think
so?”

“
Sure. What other games does Grama have planned?”

“
Some pin chaps on the cowboy for the little kids
and a three-legged race.”

Cam's stomach did a loop-de-loop. Anything but
that. He managed, “Do you want to enter that one?”

“
Yeah, but Domini's sick and she can't
do it.”

Don't say it. Don't even think it. You
will fall on your ass and embarrass yourself in front of your entire
family.

But Cam's mouth opened anyway despite the warning
of self-preservation. “We could partner up for it.”

“
It's okay. I know you don't wanna do
it and you're trying to be nice to me.”

The kid's dead-on assessment of his attitude
stung. “Why would I offer if I didn't mean it?”

Anton shrugged. “All grownups say things they
don't mean.”

The truth left shame coiling in his gut. Cam had sworn
to Anton he was nothing like his father. But he acted just like
Rex—he ignored the boy the same as Rex had done.

Hellfire and damnation. Cam wished he could erase the
last two months. But since he couldn't, the best he could do
was to start fresh.

“
Look, I could feed you full of crap, offering
excuses on why I've kept my distance since you moved in with
us. I could make promises about how everything will be ponies and
puppies and sparkling rainbows from here on out, but you're a
smart kid. You've been burned by those lies before.

“
So I'll just tell you I'm sorry. I
will do better, not
try
to do better, but I'll actually be part of your life. Every
day, not just at family picnics or when I've got no other
choice because Domini is working. It'll take time to prove to
you I'm in this for the long haul, but luckily for us, neither
of us is going anywhere any time soon.”

Anton ruffled his fingers through Gracie's fur.

“
I understand if you don't wanna partner up
with me, bein's I have a peg leg and all, but I used to whup
butt all the time in races when we were kids.”

That caught Anton's attention. “You're
serious about being in the three-legged race with me?”

“
Yep. We're the ringers, no one expects us
to compete so I think we've got a shot at winning.”

Anton smiled. Shyly. “Maybe we do.”

“
Come on. Let's go.”

The area in front of the pickups had been cleared. A
section of orange rope was used as the starting line. The course
curved and ended by the old outhouse. His family members had already
paired off and were tying orange ropes around their “third”
leg. Cord with Ky, Colby with Gib, Carter with Thane, Kade with
Eliza, Buck with Hayden. Colt and Jack were helping Colby's
second son Braxton, and Carter's second son Parker, get set up.

“
Got room for us?” Cam asked.

Everyone stopped. All eyes zoomed to him and Anton.
Anton half-ducked behind him. Damn. He knew just how the kid felt.

“
Of course we do!” Carolyn said. She walked
over with Miles cocked on her hip. “There's the rope.
Help yourselves.”

While they readied for the race, the crowd grew. His
sisters-in-law, assorted cousins, aunts and uncles stood on the
sidelines. But there was only one face he searched for: Domini's.

When she smiled, her eyes shone, her face lit up as her
gaze flicked back and forth between him and Anton. She gave them both
a thumbs-up.

Once his and Anton's legs were tied together, they
took a couple practice steps. Shit. That hurt. He clamped his teeth
together and rode out the pain. He'd done it before. For
months. And months. He could do it for five more minutes. He forced a
smile. “Ready?”

“
Yep. Are you?”

Hell no
. “Yep.”
He wrapped his arm around Anton's shoulders; Anton brought his
arm around Cam's waist.

Keely made a big production of starting the race with a
long green scarf. “On your marks. Get set. Go!”

Cheers erupted and the race was on.

Cord and Ky took the early lead. Cam kept his head down
and focused exclusively on his footing and the terrain beneath his
feet.
Heel first, step
kept repeating in his head.
Heel first, step.
Heel first, step.

Cam and Anton built up a good rhythm. They weren't
winning, and Cam was in pain, but Anton seemed to be getting a huge
kick out of it and that's what mattered.

Then two things happened simultaneously. Parker and
Braxton veered off course, directly into their path. While Cam
attempted to avoid mowing over the little boys, he wasn't
watching his footing and the toe of his prosthetic foot caught in a
gopher hole.

Panic and inevitability seized his lungs. If he landed
on his nephews, he'd crush their bodies. Ditto if he hit Anton
with his full weight. So he took the logical course of action and
jerked to his left so he crashed on his hip and prosthetic leg.

The familiar agonizing pain assaulted him. Too much
sweat caused the rubber sleeve covering his stump to loosen and slide
down. The vacuum suction popped and gave way. Then his prosthetic was
flopping around inside his pant leg. He was completely helpless.

Fuck.

It seemed dozens of hands touched him at once. Dozens of
voices spoke to him. Cam gritted his teeth and kept his eyes closed.
He didn't want to see the looks of pity and concern from his
family. He wanted everyone to leave him the fuck alone.

“
Cam?”

Her soft voice cut through the chatter, but he still
flinched at the idea of his wife seeing him lying in a big goddamn
pile in the middle of the fucking yard.

“
I'm here. Look at me. Just me.”

He squinted at her even though her face was only inches
away.

“
How bad is it?” she asked.

Hurts like a motherfucking son of a bitch.
“Bad enough. It detached.”

“
Okay.” She moved back and quickly unzipped
the section of his pants that turned them from pants into shorts.

“
Let me see.” Keely bulled her way in beside
Domini and dropped to her knees.

“
That's not—”

“
Did you bring your crutches?” Keely
demanded.

No. He'd forgotten them.

“
Of course you didn't. First we need to get
it completely off.”

“
I know. That's what I'm doing,”
Domini said.

“
Has it been coming loose a lot lately? You need
to trot your stubborn self to the VA and have it refitted. Bodies
change. I think—”

“
I think I've got this, Keely, thanks,”
Domini said tightly.

“
But do you know—”

“
Yes, I know what my
husband
needs, so I suggest you back off so I can give it to him. Now.”

Silence.

Keely's hands went up defensively.

Cam was stunned when Domini took it a step further. She
addressed his family. “Thanks for your concern. We'd
appreciate it if you all gave Cam space right now.”

Everyone backed off. Including Keely.

Despite the stitch in his thigh, he shifted toward
Anton, sitting cross-legged beside him. Tear tracks streaked his
dirty face. Alarmed, Cam said, “Anton? Did you get hurt?”

Anton shook his head.

“
Then why are you crying, sport?”

He whispered, “Because I'm sorry.”

“
For what?”

“
For making you do the race. You knew this would
happen, huh?”

Cam wanted to toss off something clever, but he hurt too
fucking bad to try. He hated the throbbing pain in the aftermath of a
fall. Guaranteed his stump would be bruised and it'd be damn
painful to walk for the next week.