Sinners On Tour 05 Double Time (34 page)

“They saw me with him first, Ethan. That’s the only reason.”

Ethan shook his head in disbelief. Reagan touched the center of his chest and found his heart was thudding hard and fast. She wrapped both arms around him and held him until he relaxed and lifted his arms to hold her back. “I just couldn’t handle the added stress of the press finding out about the three of us, Ethan. I’m so sorry I’m not stronger for you. They’d ruin us all if they knew.”

“I understand,” he said. “This is enough.”

But it wasn’t and Reagan knew that. “I should have been more discrete with Trey too. If I can’t be open about both of you, I shouldn’t be open about either of you.”

“We can publicly pretend to break up, if you want,” Trey said.

“Don’t be stupid,” Ethan said. “It’s fine. I said I understand. I just hope we’re alone as often as possible.”

“We’re alone right now,” Reagan said. She looked up at Ethan and he cupped her face in both hands before kissing her. Trey moved up against her back and wrapped them both in his arms. Ethan released her lips so he could kiss Trey. Pressed between her two loves, she didn’t care if the rest of the world disappeared forever. She had everything she could ever want or need right here.

They’d arrived in San Francisco earlier that morning for the second show of the new tour. While Reagan worked through a full dress rehearsal with Exodus End, Trey sat on the edge of his bunk and watched Brian sleep. Reagan was right. He needed to talk to him about his feelings. Trey would never get over him until he knew exactly how Brian felt about him. Somewhere inside, Trey already knew, but he had to hear it from the man himself. Brian’s eyes blinked open and he drew a deep breath through his nose before smiling drowsily.

“You’re watching me sleep?” he murmured, his voice groggy. He’d gotten in late after skipping the after-party to be with his family and then driving up the coast with Sed and Jessica to meet the tour buses this afternoon. Trey doubted that he’d even slept the night before.

“I need to talk to you about something,” Trey said. His heart thudded faster and faster as he tried to think of the best way to broach this subject. How many times had he tried to spill his guts to Brian in the past? A hundred times? A thousand?

“Yes, I’ll be your best man.” Brian’s self-indulgent grin made Trey’s heart flutter. Maybe if Brian wasn’t so attractive or so lovable or so perfect…

“This isn’t about that.”

“Need advice about Reagan?”

Trey shook his head.

“Something about the band? Your brother?”

“No, this about you.”

Brian scowled. “Did the guys put you up this? Are they going to bust my balls over my family again? I’m here, aren’t I?”

“No, it’s not the guys. I need to tell you something.”

“So tell me.”

Trey stared at him for a long moment. “I love you,” he said breathlessly before he chickened out.

The tension drained from Brian’s face and he grinned. “I love you too, man.”

“Not I love you,
man
. I love you. Period.”

Brian gnawed on his lower lip and avoided his gaze.

“I thought you should know how I feel,” Trey said quietly, his heart twisting unpleasantly within his chest.

“Why?”

Trey wasn’t sure what he’d expected Brian to say, but that wasn’t it. “Why do I love you?”

“No,
why
are you telling me this? Especially now. What do you expect me to do about it?”

“Nothing. I just thought…”

“That’s your problem, Trey. You
don’t
think. You just do what you want based on what feels good or what’s convenient for you. Did you ever think maybe I don’t
want
to know how you feel? Or that I don’t
care
how you feel?”

“Brian…”

Brian climbed out of his bunk, grabbed Trey by both arms, and hauled him to his feet.

“Why couldn’t you just keep it to yourself? This changes everything, Trey.”

“Why?” Trey asked. “I’ve felt this way since…” He lowered his eyes. Now he just felt stupid. For Trey, the world had revolved around his feelings for Brian and now he realized they meant nothing. They’d never meant anything. Not to the person who mattered.

“Since when?” Brian pressed.

Eyes stinging, Trey shook his head. He wished he’d never brought it up. He placed both hands on Brian’s chest and shoved, breaking Brian’s grip on his arms. Trey refused to break down in front of him. He wasn’t sure what he’d expected Brian to say or do, but he thought Brian would at least be a little understanding. Make him feel better. Show some of that compassionate heart of his. Not be a royal asshole about it.

Brian caught his arm. “How long, Trey?”

“A long fucking time, Brian. Okay? But I’m over it now.”

“Liar. I know you.”

“You don’t know me very well, if this is such a big surprise to you.” Trey pulled away from him again. He had to get off the bus. He couldn’t breathe. Couldn’t think. But he could feel. And it felt like his heart was being ripped out of his chest.

Trey had only taken two steps when Brian grabbed the back of his shirt and tossed him into the corner next to the stereo system in the living area. Brian moved in front of him to block his escape. “Don’t run from me. You’re the one who brought this up and we’re going to have it out now.”

Trey glared at him. “Get out of my face or I’m going to fucking punch you.”

“So punch me then.”

Trey shook his head and lowered his gaze. Brian was right. They needed to get this all out in the open so Trey could find a way to move on. “Did you really not know that I’m in love with you? I thought it was pretty obvious.”

“I know that you’re attracted to me, but I didn’t think you loved me. I didn’t think you loved anyone.”

“I’ve loved you since that first time you made love to me.”

Brian’s body tensed and he took a step backwards. Trey made the mistake of looking at him. Pissed? Why was he pissed?

Jaw set, Brian rubbed a hand over his face. “God, I’m never going to live that down. Look, Trey, I’m sorry about that. I honestly don’t know what got into me that night. I was a little drunk and so horny I probably would’ve fucked just about anyone.”

“It didn’t mean anything to you?”

Brian tossed his head back as if surprised that Trey was stupid enough to ask such a ridiculous question. “Of course it didn’t mean anything. I fucked you, Trey. That’s all it was. You should know what sex for the sake of sex means more than anyone.”

Trey knew all about meaningless sex, but losing his virginity to Brian had meant everything to him. They’d connected on an emotional level. At least, he’d thought they had. Apparently he couldn’t have been more wrong. He’d never meant anything romantic to Brian. Nothing.

Trey stared at him for a long moment, no longer hurt, just kind of numb. “Yeah.”

“I’m sorry, Trey. I didn’t know you felt that way. If I had, I would have set you straight.”

“No reason to be sorry. I’m never sorry for the idiots who fall in love with me just because I fuck them.” And if he’d made them all feel this worthless and used, he was the one who was sorry. He’d never meant to hurt anyone. But this… this hurt.

“You should have told me sooner,” Brian said.

Why? So Trey could’ve had his heart shredded before he’d found Reagan? No thanks. He had a powerful need to see her now. Surely, she was almost done rehearsing. He needed her love to fill the gaping hole inside him. “Can I go now? Or would you like to twist the knife in my chest a few more times?”

“This isn’t going to affect our music, is it?”

“Give me some credit, Brian. Has it been an issue before? Forget I said anything. Okay?”

This time when Trey forced his body out of the corner and headed for the exit, Brian let him go. Not that he’d ever wanted to keep him in the first place.

Ethan automatically reached for his holster when Trey appeared beside him. Ethan didn’t carry a gun, but old habits were hard to break and he was on his guard for anyone who looked remotely threatening to Reagan. He hadn’t let her out of his sight all day. He even stood outside the door whenever she used the bathroom. Despite his continual questioning of everyone, no one had seen anyone put the flowers in her room and no one had any idea who might want to harm her. Trey wasn’t interested in Ethan. He watched Reagan, who was playing through the set again, this time with only Dare. Ethan couldn’t read Trey’s expression, but something was obviously bothering him and he seemed to think Reagan was required to make things right.

“You okay?” Ethan asked.

“Is she almost done?”

“They just started up again after a little break. She’s working so hard to get this right.”

“She’s already perfect.”

Ethan chuckled. “I think so too.” Ethan glanced around to make sure no one was watching and then placed a gentle hand in the center of Trey’s back. Trey was shaking like a leaf. “What happened?”

“I told Brian,” he whispered.

He didn’t have to say what he told Brian. The night before, Reagan had pestered Trey about telling Brian his feelings and Ethan had tried to stay out of it. “How did he react?”

Trey leaned against Ethan’s side and he knew Reagan didn’t want anyone to know that the three of them had something more than friendship together, but Ethan wanted to comfort Trey. He wanted to let his love for him show. Fuck the world and its limited views on acceptable relationships. Why couldn’t he love a man? He did. Ethan’s arm tightened around Trey’s body and drew him closer. He brushed his lips against Trey’s ear as he whispered. “You can tell me. I’m here for you too.”

Several members of the crew had noticed them and were gawking. Trey glanced up at him but didn’t pull away. He didn’t seem to care that people knew about them either. If only Reagan were equally unconcerned. Ethan looked up at the stage. Trey followed his line of sight to Reagan. He sighed and pulled away, putting several inches between them.

“I’m going to go wait for Reagan in her dressing room,” Trey said.

Ethan nodded. He supposed he shouldn’t be surprised that she was the one who Trey would turn to. Trey loved her, after all, and Ethan knew Trey just thought of him as a fuck buddy.

“Will you come with me?” Trey whispered.

Ethan almost didn’t hear him over the wail of two guitars. “Alone?”

Trey gave him one of his transform-Ethan-into-a-steaming-kettle-of-lust crooked grins and Ethan knew he would have followed him over a cliff.

“Please,” Trey added.

Ethan glanced back at the stage. Surely Reagan was safe here surrounded by the crew and rehearsing on stage with Dare. He’d already alerted everyone to be on the lookout for suspicious characters. Everyone in the stadium had her back. She’d be okay if he let her out of his sight for a few minutes as long as there were a lot of people around. She’d likely be up on stage for another hour and wouldn’t even miss him. “Okay.” He followed Trey to the corridor behind the stage where there were several dressing rooms. Again, Reagan had a private dressing room. There were perks to being the only female on an all-male tour.

As soon as they were inside her dressing room, away from prying eyes, Trey turned into Ethan’s chest and wrapped both arms around his waist. Ethan locked him in a firm embrace, one hand cradling the back of Trey’s head to press his face against his neck. Trey’s trembling intensified, but he didn’t cry. Ethan was glad because he didn’t think he could handle that.

“Brian didn’t take it well, I assume,” Ethan said quietly.

Trey shook his head. “He thought my feelings for him were friendship and simple attraction. Reagan was wrong. I shouldn’t have told him how I feel about him. Now things are going to be awkward between us.”

“Maybe he’s just covering up his feelings for you. Give him time to think about it.” Ethan didn’t want Brian to have feelings for Trey, but he wanted Trey to be happy and he knew this had been eating him up inside for a long time. Long before Ethan had even met him.

“He doesn’t love me. He never did.” Trey’s arms tightened around Ethan’s waist. “The times we made love didn’t mean anything to him. All this time… all this time, I thought…”

“He’s an idiot. He has no idea how blessed he is to have your heart. I’d do anything to win it.” Ethan touched his cheek and Trey lifted his head to stare up into his eyes. “Anything,” Ethan whispered before lowering his head and claiming Trey’s mouth in a deep kiss.

When he pulled away, Trey’s eyes were no longer sad. They were hungry. “Fuck me senseless,” he said.

Can do. Ethan reached for Trey’s belt. He didn’t have to ask to know what Trey wanted from him. Ethan understood perfectly. Unfortunately, it was not the same thing that Ethan wanted and he wasn’t sure how to take this relationship to the next level. Trey leaning on him for emotional support was a start, but here they were back to fulfilling sexual needs. Perhaps Ethan should tell him no. Put some provisions on this relationship. Stop allowing this man to lead him around by the nose. Or the dick. And then Ethan’s shirt was off and Trey’s mouth was on his throat and Trey’s cock was in Ethan’s hands and all Ethan could think about was losing himself inside the only man who’d ever touched his heart.

Trey bit his collarbone and sucked a bit of his skin into his mouth, sucking hard enough to leave a mark. Claiming him. Physically.

Fuck!

Trey fumbled with Ethan’s fly and released his hard cock. Ethan took it in his hand and pressed his length against Trey’s. He stroked their combined cocks together in both hands until Trey moaned. He tugged his head back, releasing the suction on the skin along Ethan’s collarbone.

“Take me. Don’t be gentle,” he said.

Ethan had known that’s what Trey wanted, but he’d hoped for something a little more tender. Maybe next time. Trey was hurting emotionally and wanted something physically rough to offset that. This time would be just for Trey.

Ethan kissed him, still stroking their cocks together. When Trey whimpered in his mouth, he decided tenderness would probably upset him more. Ethan pulled away and shoved Trey toward the sofa. He spotted Reagan’s purse on the table behind the sofa and knew everything he needed to prepare Trey for penetration would be inside. He adored that woman.

“On your knees with your face in the sofa cushions and hold yourself open for me,” Ethan demanded.

Trey smiled sadly. “Thank you for giving me what I need right now.”

Trey moved toward the sofa, leaving his pants around his knees. Not bothering to remove his shoes either, he knelt on the floor near one end of the sofa and buried his face in the cushions. Trey gripped both cheeks of his ass to spread them apart. Ethan found a condom and lube in Reagan’s purse. He worked quickly to prepare himself and then moved in position behind Trey. He didn’t warn him. Just plunged deep and started thrusting. Soon, Trey’s body began to move with him, rocking back to meet his thrusts, encouraging him to pound him harder.

“Harder. Please. Drive him away,” Trey said, his voice muffled by the cushions.

Ethan stopped moving and grabbed a fistful of Trey’s hair. “Are you thinking about him right now? Are you thinking about Brian while I fuck you?”

Trey hesitated. “Not exactly.”

Not
exactly?
Ethan had had enough. He pulled out. “On your back, Mills,” he said gruffly.

“Ethan?” Trey’s goddamned voice was trembling with emotion. How could Trey expect Ethan to fuck him under these circumstances? Ethan wanted more than a physical connection with Trey and he was going to take what he wanted.

“You heard me, Trey. Lie on the sofa on your back. The floor is hard. It’s hurting my knees.” Mostly a lie.

Trey looked at him over his shoulder. Ethan somehow managed to keep his expression hard and commanding even though his heart was melting. When Trey climbed up on the sofa and settled down on his back, Ethan finished undressing. “Take off your clothes, Trey.”

“But…”

“I can’t fuck you in that position with your pants on. Take them off.”

He complied.

“Shirt too.”

“I don’t underst—”

“Just do it, Trey. Why do you always question me after you ask me to take the upper hand?”

He shook his head. “I don’t know.”

Trey removed his shirt and collapsed against the sofa. He avoided Ethan’s eyes and murmured, “Just hurry. Please, hurry.” Trey always got what he wanted, but not this time. Ethan wasn’t in any hurry at all.

Ethan removed the rest of his clothes and knelt beside the sofa. Gently cupping Trey’s balls, he extended his middle finger and rubbed it against Trey’s entrance. His other hand directed Trey’s cock into his mouth. He sucked hard and bobbed his head vigorously.

“Ethan,” he groaned, “don’t.” Though his hands were pressing against the back of Ethan’s head and he was thrusting upward into Ethan’s mouth.

Ethan moved his hand to cover Trey’s mouth. Ethan lifted his head and stared into Trey’s startled eyes. “You’ll take what I give you and not complain. Stroke your cock while I suck it, and not in a way that you hurt yourself. So it feels good.”

When Trey nodded and wrapped one hand around his cock, Ethan moved his hand from his mouth and trailed it down his chest. He caught Trey’s nipple ring with the tip of his finger and tugged it gently in time with the stroke of his fingertip against his ass.

“F-feels so good,” Trey gasped.

Ethan kissed a trail down Trey’s flat belly, watching Trey’s hand to make sure he was stroking himself gently. “Good,” he murmured before sucking the head of Trey’s cock into his mouth. Trey’s entire body jerked. When Trey began to writhe and produce excited gasps of pleasure, Ethan decided he was in a hurry after all.

He released Trey’s cock and shifted to look him in the eye. “Are you ready for me?”

“I’m always ready for you.”

Ethan climbed onto the sofa, settled between Trey’s legs, and possessed him with slow, deep thrusts. He watched Trey’s reactions and could tell that physically Trey was enjoying every second of this, but he was still holding back that emotional connection Ethan craved. Mostly because even though they were face to face, Trey refused to look Ethan in the eye.

Ethan kissed Trey’s jaw tenderly and then whispered in his ear. “Why won’t you look at me? Are you ashamed?”

“Of course not.”

“Then why?

“I never look.”

Trey looked Reagan in the eyes when they made love. Ethan had been witness to it. And coveted the same interaction. Ethan lifted his head to stare down into Trey’s flushed face. He kissed the freckles on the bridge of Trey’s nose and smiled gently. He loved this man. It was about time he knew it.

“Look at me, Trey.”

Trey squeezed his eyes shut even more tightly and shook his head.

“You
are
ashamed.”

“I’m not. How can you think that?” He opened his eyes and glared at Ethan. That’s when Ethan knew he had him. Neither of them could look away as their bodies joined in perfect synchrony and Ethan got his first real look at Trey’s emotional side. It was a far greater gift than he’d anticipated.

“I love you,” Ethan said. “Trey.”

Trey’s eyes widened and he shook his head in denial.

Ethan held his gaze and nodded until Trey copied his motion and nodded as well.

“What are you going to do it about?” Ethan asked.

“I don’t know. Love you back?”

“Sounds wonderful. Tell me when you get there.”

“Almost,” Trey whispered with a crooked grin.

The double meaning wasn’t lost on Ethan. He rested his weight on one elbow and used his free hand to stroke Trey’s cock. Trey’s eyelids fluttered as he lost himself to pleasure, but he didn’t look away. Even when he let go in Ethan’s hand, he continued to stare into Ethan’s eyes. Ethan shuddered as he followed Trey to bliss, equally lost in the connection between them as he was in the release offered to his body.

He kissed Trey’s lips briefly. “That felt good,” he said.

“Of course it did.”

“I mean to finally tell you I love you. I’ve known since our first time together. Now that you know, are you going to make me leave?”

Trey shook his head and touched Ethan’s face. He searched his eyes for a moment. “It’s gone,” he said.

“What’s gone?”

“The emptiness. Reagan filled much of it, but there was a part of me I thought only Brian would ever touch. I don’t need him to feel loved anymore. I think… I think I need you for that, Ethan.”

Ethan smiled, his heart thudding with joy. “Do you mean that?”

“Yeah. I love you. Now cuddle with me for a few minutes and then we’ll go tell Reagan.”

Ethan reached for a packet of tissues to clean up himself and Trey. He tossed the tissues and his expended condom in the trash. He rejoined Trey on the sofa, squeezing in behind him with his back against the sofa back and Trey wrapped securely in his arms.

Trey snuggled against him. “Nice,” he murmured drowsily. “How do you think Reagan will take this?”

“Take what?”

“That her two lovers have fallen in love with each other?”

Ethan smiled and kissed the side of Trey’s head. “She can’t be too upset seeing as she loves both of us.”

“And we both love her.”

“Do you think I should be the one to tell her?” Ethan said.

“We’ll tell her together.”

“In a few minutes…” Ethan’s eyes drifted shut.