Siobhan's Beat (12 page)

He silently cursed himself for speaking in such a cutting tone of voice, but his reaction stemmed from concern and a genuine fear for her wellbeing.

Siobhan gulped air. “I tried so hard…and…it's like that wretched sense of dizziness and queasiness worked through me all over again.”

“Because you have to build up tolerance, over time, with practice and consistent rehab.”

“But—”

“There's no
but
in this situation, Siobhan. What you did today wasn't smart. You deliberately over did it. Plus you worked your injured leg as much as you possibly could, didn't you?”

“I survived.” A fast, deliberate silence built. “I'm fine.”

AJ looked deep into her eyes. “OK. Now, tell me the truth.”

All at once, her chin quivered. Moisture sheened her dark blue gaze. “I want my life back. Why can't you understand that?”

“I understand that fact all too well, but look at the results. You're nauseated because you were in such pain you couldn't focus correctly when you spun, right? Furthermore, I'll bet you couldn't do a deep squat right now if I paid you. You're not ready for the kind of consistent punishment, they're going to require. They believe you're back to form and you're not.”

“Perhaps, but I just might have bought myself some time and support.”

“Maybe yes, maybe no. Judging by the comments I overheard, they're thrilled. They're going to go back to their ivory towers now and think nothing of pushing you and pressuring you as soon as possible, and you're just not ready, Siobhan.”

“Way to stand up for me!”

He ground out a frustrated sound. Stepping into her space, he nearly pinned her to the door, pointing a finger toward her chest. “You'll find no fiercer, more loyal champion than me once you're properly healed. You won a battle today, but you're going to lose the war. You should be fighting for latitude. They want you on board—that much is obvious. Don't destroy all the strides forward you've made. Don't embrace a world based on desperation rather than faith.”

At least she paused for a few seconds to absorb that statement—still, her eyes sparked. “For now, all I know is this: they're appeased, and if I'm given the go-ahead, I'm all in. Deal with it. I'm doing what I need to do. That's the end of this discussion, Doctor Cooper.”

AJ reared back at her biting and dismissive formality. Nodding once, he stared her down in a hot silence. “Fine. Obviously my work here is done. Good luck with the path you're choosing. I hope you can tolerate it. I don't want to see you in surgery if that bone breaks again, or if you lose your balance because you're too dizzy to properly execute a dance move.”

Siobhan's stricken gasp followed him like a bad dream when he stalked from her office and slammed the door closed.

 

****

 

AJ needed solitude and a chance to regroup, to analyze the emotional waves that continued to engulf him. Never one to lose control or live life in confusion, he had to figure out how to move forward.

He angled toward the glassed entrance of the studio, eying his car not far away. He craved escape; his sedan was parked in a front spot at the municipal lot. Just when AJ's fingers touched the push-bar of the door, Liam bounded forward and cut off the retreat. Hand extended for a congratulatory shake, Siobhan's brother wore a broad smile. AJ accepted the gesture, trying hard to act natural—not like some displaced fool for love.

“You were fantastic. Thank you for the reinforcement in there.” Liam jerked a thumb toward the sidewalk outside. “You can't be thinking of going already. Unacceptable.” He clapped a hand on AJ's shoulder, returning him to the center of the lobby along with everyone else. “Hang out for a bit. I was looking for you afterward. Where'd you go?”

“Why were you searching? Everything OK?”

Hoping his diversion would work, AJ surrendered all thoughts of leaving. He focused a friendly countenance upon Liam instead.

“Actually, I've got a proposition for you. My mom and dad are hosting a family gathering on Sunday. Music, Irish dancing, and way too much food. It's kind of a tradition—especially after moments like this when we get to cheer one another on.”

Siobhan stepped into AJ's field of vision. She scowled at her brother, not that Liam could see it from his present angle. A duffle bag was hoisted upon her slim, delicate shoulder. Without a thought AJ slid the strap from her grasp and took custody. She shouldn't have to haul around—

“So, are you in, Coop? After all, I think it's high time you met the folks.” Liam focused on his sister. “Wouldn't you agree, sprite?”

While Siobhan huffed and gaped, AJ shuffled his feet. “Well, actually, I've already
met
them—”

Amusement crinkled into smile lines around Liam's eyes while his teasing grin spread and a devilish demeanor rose to the surface. “Indeed, but only as her doctor…not as her…well, you know…significant other.”

A blast furnace would have been preferable to the escalation of ruddy heat that coated AJ's skin, and he couldn't even begin to hazard a glance in Siobhan's direction.

“Liam, I swear…”

Siobhan's hiss of warning went unheeded. Liam's posture remained unrepentant and ebullient. “Actually, you don't swear. That's one of your few redeeming qualities.” He chucked her under the chin. “Let mom know if you're plus one for dinner this weekend, OK?”

Bewildered, AJ tried to regain some form of ease and equilibrium. Did Siobhan even want him there? He couldn't tell by looking at her. Her face was kind enough, yet stoic. Unreadable. Most likely, that's just what she wanted.

There was no graceful way to refuse, and in spite of everything, AJ wanted to spend time with Siobhan in the context of her family and closest friends in a relaxed, informal setting. Doing so just might help him answer some of the questions and turmoil he now faced.

While people brushed past, and the crowd broke off into smaller cliques, Siobhan attempted to wrest the duffle from his hold. Prepared for just such a maneuver, AJ maintained a solid grip, stubbornly refusing to let her disconnect from him.

Maybe dinner with her family wouldn't be such a bad idea after all.

 

 

 

 

10

 

Siobhan brewed and stewed, at varying temperatures, straight through to Sunday. While her parents' home filled with dinner guests, she forced herself into an honest and forthright episode of self-confrontation.

Truth of the matter? She adored AJ. Further, she couldn't—and wouldn't—be rude to the man, especially after all he had done to stand up for her and support her when she needed it most.

All the same, that didn't completely excuse his pushy behavior. Honestly. Men. Didn't they understand she was capable? Between Liam and AJ, she fought hard against the notion that she was some kind of helpless woman in need of a big, strong protector.

Nonetheless, gratitude, paired with a rising and undeniable tide of love, gradually eroded her temper and soothed her disposition. She'd make it through this mess, by God's grace and sheer dent of will.

Siobhan greeted friends and family, keeping an eye on AJ as he made rounds. He was becoming quite the steady fixture in her life, and he mixed comfortably with the ones who formed her inner circle.

Your significant other.

Oh, curse Liam, anyhow for the transparent and unrepentant way he had described her relationship with AJ. But the idea was also very appealing…

Before long, violin music poured through the jam-packed living room. Exuberant shouts carried through the air accompanied by rhythmic clapping, loud conversations and lots of laughter. No way could Siobhan resist the call of a lively reel performed with gusto by her uncle Gerard. She leapt to her feet. In passing, she stroked his shoulder and beamed a smile. She made her way along the furniture, which had been moved to the sides of the expansive space, and grabbed the hands of her nieces and nephews. Soon her selected tribe fell into a line and a step dance began. Even a few of the adults joined in, cutting loose with stomps, kicks, and flurries of foot work.

Those who didn't dance kept time to the beat and called out encouragement as the dancers dazzled.

Siobhan kept her upper body rod-straight, her arms tight to her sides. Responding only to the call of her spirit, she refused to miss a beat. The exercise assured her of the fact that AJ was unnecessarily concerned about her abilities. Granted, step dancing required no spins and twirls, but still, she built her endurance step by step…battle line by battle line. The pain in her leg decreased day by day.

Plate of food in hand, AJ claimed an empty chair not far away, so, she shot her physician a saucy grin and lifted her chin, playing to him for a moment as the magic and beauty of dance worked through her soul. He grinned right back, but shook his head. She knew he got the message she delivered. For sure, she wasn't out of the woods yet, but rumors of her defeat, she decided, were greatly exaggerated.

Choosing to lose herself in the music, Siobhan tossed her head and left behind all other thoughts. Beads of sweat built and trickled. She welcomed every salty drop that tickled her skin. Physical exertion became a familiar and welcome elixir. Wisps of hair worked free from her ponytail, skimming her jaw and neck as she moved. The reel worked toward its conclusion and gradually the participants moved away, allowing Siobhan a showcase that finished off the piece to thundering approval.

Swept into hugs and teasing banter, she breathed deep of free motion, of life…and when her gaze tagged AJ, she realized anew how atypically harsh and volatile she had been toward him. He deserved much better. Although she had dreaded this gathering of friends and family due to her uncomfortable parting with him a few days ago, this afternoon's dinner fest transformed into just the pick-me-up she needed.

She cut a path toward the chair where AJ sat conversing in a happy, animated way with her mom, but Liam cut her off.

“Those gams of yours are looking great, sis. No issues I can see.”

Siobhan worked to even out her breathing, and she perched her hands on her hips. “It's a process. The muscles are definitely weak, but what a great way to regain strength, right?”

Liam nodded. “Now, if we could just work that same level of magic on your psyche as well.”

Siobhan shot him a questioning look. “What do you mean by that?”

Her twin nieces wrapped their arms around her waist and began to battle for attention. So much for cornering AJ in the near future—but that was OK. She twirled her fingers through a matching set of blonde hair rife with curly-cues and dotted each upturned nose with a kiss.

“How's the car hunt going these days?”

Siobhan went stiff and glowered. “Oh, how I detest you.”

“I'm so offended. Not. Answer the question.”

“I'll good and well drive when I good and well feel like it. Now, leave me be.”

She muttered the words, careful not to interrupt the playful glee of her nieces who played tag around her waist. Nevertheless, Liam knew he had her at a disadvantage, so he continued. “I'm taking you shopping next week. Seriously, it's becoming a pain to keep carting you everywhere when you're the picture of health.”

“Well, aren't you kind and gracious.”

The twins gave up trying to secure Siobhan's undivided attention and scampered to the next door media room where a family-friendly television show played out.

“I'm neither. Instead, I'm pushing, which seems to be my job of late.”

Siobhan snorted.

Liam plowed on. “You need to find your feet in more than just dancing, sprite. Best to get on with it.”

Siobhan's jaw dropped; she promptly clamped it closed. Liam arched a brow and walked away…insolence personified.

Naturally that's when AJ chose to step to the fore. Offering a sarcastic nod of gratitude to fate, Siobhan worked a smile into place, thinking,
God, please give me strength
. As usual, governed only by that mystical connection they seemed to share, AJ spoke volumes without uttering a single word. He folded his arms against his chest, nearly grinning, searching her eyes for a moment.

“Did I interrupt a bonding moment?”

“Oh, I'll bond him one day. Trust me.”

AJ's answering laugh rumbled and tinged against her senses.

“Older brothers were created for one reason alone, to protect and antagonize their younger siblings.”

Remembering her desire to make amends—in at least one area of her life—Siobhan softened and latched her arm through his. They ambled toward the formal dining room which still teemed with hungry guests. “Truer words have never been spoken. Liam's trying to keep me moving forward by needling.”

“Still, he makes a point.”

Siobhan wilted against his side. “Please, please don't push at me like everyone else. I'm trying…it's just…I'm scared. I break out in a sweat even thinking about touching a steering wheel. Give me time.”

AJ halted their progress and gave her a gentle tug, nodding toward a semi-private area of the hallway leading to the foyer. He settled her against the wall and cupped her face, piercing her with a direct, unyielding glance. “We've been on rocky ground, Siobhan, but the truth remains; I want you to function at one hundred percent. In order to do that, you need to face all your fears. I won't push, but I won't relent, either. Maybe that's something the men in your life have in common. We're unwilling to compromise when it comes to seeing to your welfare.” He stroked a fingertip along the plane of her jaw. “Think about that, OK?”

Heart lodged firmly in her throat, Siobhan could only nod.

 

****

 

“But offering a toast for the meal is a tradition bequeathed to the newest attendee. That would be AJ.”