Sisters of the Heart - 03 - Forgiven (17 page)

Instead of going back to the house or to work, Jonathan took a detour and drove his buggy along some of the small, windy roads that had connected various plots of land with each other—and had for generations.

The crisp air held a touch of warmth behind it, reminding him that time, as always, moved on, no matter what the circumstances.

That thought had never felt more true. His conversation with David had been revealing, indeed. But, if he were honest, it was also God’s whispers in his ear that had been the most telling. During that hour, Jonathan had never felt closer to the Lord, never more open to His will.

Lost in thought, he slowed Blacky’s pace. When the horse restlessly bobbed his head, Jonathan parked the buggy to the side, near a thicket of fresh spring grass that the horse could easily munch on if desired.

Then he got out of the buggy and walked a ways up. Scanning the horizon, he could just see the faint outline of the Brenneman Bed and Breakfast. To the other side, he could see the shadows of the Hostetler barn.

Jonathan knew the family well—it was impossible not to know all the surrounding families well, their community was so tightly knit. And while his had never been a perfect life, Jonathan had always known that the Hostetlers’ circumstances were difficult, indeed.

They were not well liked.

Oh, Jonathan figured he could have tried harder to reach out to them. They all could have tried harder. But Amos Hostetler was a somewhat difficult man, without humor. His wife was cowed and meek to the point where it was difficult to have even the most simple of conversations. Their children—all eight of them—were good enough, but a little standoffish. Jonathan’s Mary had put it best—they weren’t good playmates.

Rumors had circulated that perhaps Amos was too hard on the children. Some blamed his farm’s continual financial problems for Amos’s short temper.

Jonathan had a feeling that Amos was just that way.

And empathizing with David—hearing the admission in his voice, seeing the fear and resignation as he told his tale—was like a blow to his belly. Jonathan felt that nothing positive would be accomplished by involving David’s father.

When the Lord had guided him, whispered in his ear, Jonathan had suddenly known what to do.

It was time to forgive.

He’d been so caught up in his anger, so determined to seek justice, that he’d neglected to realize that there were other feelings and viewpoints involved.

Seeking retribution from David and his family would not bring his barn back. It would not erase the all-encompassing fear that had engulfed him when he’d worried about Winnie.

When he’d been afraid for his animals’ lives.

The memories would still be there. And perhaps that is what needed to be. Those memories were strong. Not only of the bad things, but of the good things, too. Of how all their neighbors pulled together and offered support.

Of how his boss Brent was offering to give him the wood for the barn, and offered to shut down the mill for a half day so everyone could help. That was a gift greater than he could have imagined.

So was the gleam of hope in David’s eyes. Jonathan had no doubt the boy would help build the barn as much as he could. He also knew that the guilt and weight of his actions would be with him forever.

But perhaps the memories of Jonathan’s forgiveness would be there as well. And perhaps that forgiveness would ignite a new flame in his heart and lead David to be the man he wanted to become, instead of the one he thought he had to be.

Winnie looked, then looked again when she saw who was driving up the long, winding road to their farm. The buggy was definitely Eli’s, but the form in the
front seat certainly was not the lanky body of Eli Miller.

Who could it be?

She was even more curious when the buggy horse sidestepped a bit near a patch of bushes. Something had spooked it, and the driver was having a difficult time finding his bearings.

Or so it seemed.

“Who’s that?” Hannah asked as she came to stand beside Winnie at the front window.

“I’m not sure.” As she’d done more times than she could count, Winnie picked Hannah up and sat her on the kitchen counter. “Someone’s comin’ in Eli Miller’s buggy, but I don’t think it’s him.”

Hannah scrambled to her knees as she peered out. “
Jah
. It don’t look like Eli.”

Mary joined them. “Isn’t that a courtin’ buggy? Eli doesn’t drive that around, does he?”

“Not for some time.” Glancing at her niece in some surprise, Winnie said, “I’m surprised you knew about courtin’ buggies.”

“I like them. They’re prettier, don’tcha think?”

“I do.” Winnie always enjoyed riding in the fancier, sleeker buggy with its open top. It was far more enjoyable than the sedate, closed-in buggy. Staring at the driver again, she murmured, “Could that be Caleb?”

Little Hannah clapped. “Oh, I hope so! I like Caleb.”

“That man’s not Caleb,” Mary stated without a bit of doubt in her voice as the buggy approached. She
squinted and pressed her nose to the windowpane, creating a smudge that would need to be washed off with vinegar. “It looks to be Samuel.”

As the buggy stopped and the driver alighted, Hannah held out her arms for Winnie to help her down. After Winnie complied, she ran to the door and scampered down the front steps before Winnie could say a word. “Samuel!” she cried, loud enough to startle all the animals in the barn.

In a moment’s time, Mary joined her sister.

Sam greeted both girls with friendly hugs, then helped them climb up to the bench of the buggy; they so obviously wanted to try out the seat.

This time it was Winnie who wanted to press her nose to the pane and watch more closely, because she certainly did not want to miss a moment of what was happening.

If she wasn’t mistaken, Samuel Miller was dressed Amish and had just arrived in a courting buggy. “What in the world?” she murmured. Stranger things had happened, but not for some time.

When the girls got off the buggy, Mary turned to the window. “Winnie! Winnie, come out, why don’tcha?”

Winnie knew her cheeks were likely blazing red. She was mighty thankful neither Jonathan nor Katie were around to comment about that. But still, she waited.

“Winnie? Winnie!” Hannah sung out. “Come on!”

Well, it looked to be out of her hands now. “I’m on my way,” Winnie murmured, though she knew no one
could hear her. Carefully, she made her way through the kitchen and did her best to meet them, glad that she hardly needed help anymore.

In a flash, Sam was up the steps, stepping behind her and gently closing the door. She could hardly do a thing besides stare at him.

He seemed to be enjoying every bit of her surprise. “Hi.”

“Gut-n-owed,”
she said formally.

Hat in hand, Sam looked amused. “Good afternoon, to you, too.”

Darting a look at Mary and Hannah, she was pleased to see they were off playing with their dog near the garden. Since this was one of their favorite activities, she wasn’t worried about them. Not near as worried about them as she was about her beating heart!

The only thing to do was to offer Samuel something to drink. “Would you care for some lemonade?”

“I would.” Already walking to the kitchen door, he motioned for her to sit on one of the many chairs decorating the front porch. “I’ll get it.”

She sat. Not because she needed the rest for her foot, but because she couldn’t believe what was happening.

In no time at all, he was back with two glasses in his hands. After passing her one, he sat down next to her. “This drink is a blessing. It sure is hot.”

“It is most pleasant—” Oh, she couldn’t do this. “Why are you dressed Amish?” she blurted. “Why did you arrive in a buggy? In a courtin’ buggy, of all things? What is going on?”

“It’s like I told you the other day. I’m going to join the church.”

“Yes, but I didn’t think you would do it so suddenly. Where’s your truck? Your Ford?” She’d liked his shiny black truck. She’d always thought he looked right fittin’ in that bold vehicle.

“I sold it.”

Lemonade sputtered everywhere. “Samuel Miller, you start talking this minute. When do you plan to be baptised?”

“On Sunday.”

“Are you sure you don’t need more time to consider things?”

“I’m positive.” Then, sheepishly, he grinned as he lifted one leg. “Well, I might need more time to get some proper clothes. The pants are Eli’s and they’re mighty short.”

Turning serious, he said, “Winnie, now that my decision has been made, I’m anxious to return to the community. I’ve missed my family. I’ve missed our community and the strength and comfort it gave me. And, then, there was a certain mouthy dark-haired woman with the prettiest dimples I ever saw. I’ve started thinking about her quite a bit.”

Winnie couldn’t believe her ears. This was really happening. All the feelings she’d been trying to stifle unsuccessfully could now be brought to light. She could begin to hope again.

“I still hate to think of you giving up everything.”

“I’m ready. When I was younger, it felt as if my brain
was too big for my head. All I wanted to do was learn and learn and ask questions. I was never more sure in my life when I asked my family to let me go study. I needed to learn as much as I needed to breathe.”

“And then?”

“I followed where I thought the Lord was guiding me. I was sure there was a reason he made me so smart. I felt it would be wrong not to see where it all led me.” After a sip of lemonade, he continued. “I loved going to university. I loved the challenge. But, Winnie, there’s more to me than this brain of mine. And, there’s more in my head than just a desire for knowledge. I want family and love and my faith.”

“I know you love your family. I’ve never doubted that. I don’t think anyone has.”

Looking almost boyish, Sam tilted his head. “Oh, but you’re going to make me say this, aren’t ya? All right, I will. I care for you, Winnie.”

For once, Winnie couldn’t think of a single response. Her lungs felt out of breath, like she was struggling for air. For so long, she’d longed to be loved. To have someone in her life who cared about her…and who she cared deeply about.

For some time now, she knew that person was Sam. But she didn’t want her love to cause him regrets. She didn’t want him one day wishing he’d never left his English world.

Sam’s hazel eyes glinted. “Don’t make us wait, Winnie.” He leaned forward, bracing his elbows on his knees. “Don’t make me wait another day for you to be my girl.”

The childish expression made her smile. After all, they were two adults in their twenties. Hardly star-crossed teens.

Yet, being his “girl” sounded awfully right. But still, scary.

“I…I don’t know.” Truly, she was still trying to get her head around the fact that everything she’d hoped for was coming true.

“Do you want to take things slow? We can do that, if you’d like.”

“I would like slow, if you don’t mind.”

“I don’t mind at all. You are worth it. And the life I want with you is worth it, too.”

Oh, so was he. After all the past disappointments in love, Winnie now knew it had been the Lord’s way of preparing her for this relationship—the relationship with Samuel that she could rely on for the rest of her life.

She’d needed those trials and tribulations to be strong enough to start a life with Samuel. She needed past experiences so that she’d be wise enough to understand Sam’s feelings when he talked about his past. He stood up. “So, Winnie Lundy, would you care to go for a ride in my borrowed courting buggy?”

Winnie couldn’t help it, she laughed. “I’d love to, but I’m not certain you need an extra passenger just yet.”

With a grimace, he said, “I forgot horses have minds of their own.”

“I’m just teasing you. You’ll get the hang of things again soon. But I’m sorry, I canna go. I’m watching the
girls for Katie today. She’s over with Anna, helping with some wedding things.”

He finished his lemonade, sat it on the wide planks of the porch, then stood up. “Maybe tomorrow? In the afternoon?”

“I’m working until four o’clock. If you come over after dinner, I’d love to go for a ride.”

Almost shyly, Samuel Miller smiled. “Then I’ll be back.”

Winnie could only nod as he stepped down the stairs. He waved goodbye to the girls, and then coaxed Eli’s horse on his way again.

If that don’t beat all. She had a beau. A fine man, too. Samuel Miller.

From the porch, Winnie felt a great sense of satisfaction and excitement as she watched the men bond together in work teams and the women carry overstuffed baskets toward the shade of the oak and walnut trees.

Today was a special day, indeed. With God’s help—and everyone else’s—by nightfall they’d have the makings of a new barn.

“Well, those men are certainly as busy as can be. We best not stand here too much longer. We’ll be sprout-in’ feathers when we have important work to do,” Irene Brenneman said. “We need to plan where all the ladies are going to put their dishes.”

Winnie pointed to the dining room, where the long oak table was covered with an assortment of quilts. Since Katie was busy trying to tend to everyone, Winnie was doing her best to plan the logistics. “I’ll direct the ladies and the food here on the table. They can leave
their baskets with quilts and dishes near the trees.” As two children skipped rope nearby, Winnie winced, just imagining how difficult it would be to stay organized with so many children underfoot. “And, I think we should encourage the
kinner
to go play on the other side of the house near the garden.”

As the hours passed, Winnie noticed the men falling into place, each doing what they did best. Jonathan instructed groups, John Brenneman double-checked supplies, and Brent, Jonathan’s boss at the lumberyard, explained how he organized the lumber. Finally, with much good humor and teasing about who was the strongest, the barn raising began.

Voices and music rang out, children scampered and laughed in the vibrant green fields, and the scents of hearty food and sawdust filled the air.

For all the hard work, it was great fun.

All the while, Winnie did her best to stay near the construction, all in hopes of catching a glimpse of Samuel.

She wasn’t disappointed. Whether by design or chance, she saw quite a bit of him throughout the morning. His smiles and nods in her direction were worth all the knowing looks and teasing glances from the other women.

Finally lunch was served. After a quick, silent moment of prayer, Winnie took her place at Sam’s table and brought over plates of chicken and bowls of potatoes.

“Danke,”
he said, when she brought him a festive-looking gelatin salad.

“You’re welcome,” she murmured with a smile. Even though she’d done no part of the meal except to serve it.

It was customary for the women and children to eat after the men had their chance. When Winnie took Sam’s spot, she hardly noticed what she put in her mouth—all she could think about was how handsome he’d been. How the same yet different he seemed around the other men.

How smitten she was with him. A warmth filled her. Could this really be her future, a life working side by side with such a generous, giving, handsome man? It all seemed too good to be true.

“Winnie, if you’re not too tired, we’ve got a good amount of work to do, if you’re done sittin’,” Irene called.

“I’m not tired, my leg feels fine.” She hopped up. “I’ll be right there.”

Just as the sun set, a shadow fell across the front porch. The barn frame was up. Families began to take their leave, gathering sleepy children and sparkly clean food containers.

Jonathan, Katie, and the girls were inside getting the girls ready for bed.

Winnie sat on the front stoop in the shadow of the new structure and breathed a sigh of contentment. The day had been a busy one, but most gratifying. Barn raisings were always a pure example of their way of life. She was never so proud to be Amish. Once more,
she knew she’d be counting her blessings for many days to come.

She was just about to do that when yet another shadow fell over her—this one far smaller. Ah, yet another blessing, indeed. “Samuel. I thought you had already left.”

“Without telling you goodbye? I wouldn’t do that.”

“The barn, it looks
gut, jah
?”

His tawny brown hair was still damp from when he washed up. As was his habit, he brushed it out of his face and looked at the structure. “It’s a fine building. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to look at it without remembering this feeling of accomplishment. I’m pleased with it.”

“You should. It’s a right beautiful barn. My brother is so pleased.”

Sam smiled as he dropped down to sit next to her. “Have I told you today how glad I am to see you’re back on two feet?” Sam said, his eyes twinkling in the way that made her heart melt.

“Not half as glad as I am. I was thinking those crutches would always be my companions.” Carefully, shaking her right leg, she said, “Though I have some scars, I feel like I did before the fire.”

“The scars are a small price to pay for being healthy again, I think.” Pointing to the new barn, he said, “This building kind of feels like my life right now. Though the old structure has gone away, the memories will always be there.”

“And in its place?”

“In its place is something new and fresh. Supported by many strong hands and hearts.”

“That’s a fitting description, I think. Samuel, I am mighty glad you decided to come back. I would have become English for you, but I don’t know if I’d have ever fit in the way you would’ve needed me to.”

“I think you would have done all right, but I’m glad I’m the one who did the changing.”

“You don’t think you’ll have regrets?”

“No. Especially since the bishop felt I could still teach at the college a bit.” Flashing a smile, he added, “Like the fire in the barn, what happened was unexpected, but now that time has passed, I see that it was not all bad.”

He held out his hand for her to take. “With the Lord’s help, I think we’ll see in the coming years that it will prove to be the right thing.”

She placed her other hand over their joined ones and squeezed gently. Oh, she never wanted to let him go! “I know what we have is the right thing, indeed.”

“May I come by tomorrow?”

“I’d be terribly sad if you didn’t.”

“That’s it? No exceptions or rules or circumstances?”

“Like you, I feel new again. Being hurt in the fire taught me to count my blessings more. I’m going to count you as my greatest blessing.”

Slowly, Sam lifted her hands and gently kissed her knuckles. Winnie didn’t even try to pretend that she didn’t feel a rush of pleasure from his touch.

She would never have dreamed that she’d spend a full
week in a hospital with burns and a broken foot. And even more, that it would all lead to finally thinking of marriage.

Funny how so much of what she used to worry about didn’t bother her anymore.

“You know, one day, we might look back at all this and laugh.”

Still looking at their joined hands, Sam said, “About how we met?”

“About how the Lord really does have a plan. And that His plan is both wondrous and true.”

“And never ceases to amaze.”

Winnie looked up at him and smiled. “I’ve fallen in love with you.”

“And I you.” Slowly, Samuel Miller leaned close and gently brushed his lips against hers, and then kissed Winnie again.

Right there, on the front stoop of her brother’s home. In the shadow of a freshly built barn, where all things seemed possible.