Sisters of the Heart - 03 - Forgiven (3 page)

With a quick glance at Sam, Winnie blushed. “Some things do.” After clearing her throat, she said, “Eli, come sit down and talk to me. The last thing I remember is the barn exploding.”

“That would be the hay catching on fire.”

Sam nodded in response. As Eli talked about the excitement of riding in an ambulance, Sam noticed Winnie’s eyes drift shut. The ordeal was taking its toll on her, and most likely, the painkillers were making her sleepy as well.

When Eli continued to prattle, Sam touched his arm. “It’s time to go.”

“You think so? We’ve only been in here a few moments.”

“Look,” Sam pointed out. Winnie’s eyes had drifted shut.

Eli’s cheeks flushed. “All my talking wore her out, I’m afraid.”

Giving in to impulse, Sam nudged his older brother. “Yep, you always were a bore, Eli.”

As he hoped, humor lit his brother’s expression again. “Not all of us have a fancy education, you know.” Once out in the hall again, Eli leaned his head back against the cool tiles on the wall. “It’s been a terribly long day.”

“How about I take you back to my place and you can get some sleep? I’ll come back just in case Winnie wakes up.”

“You don’t mind?”

“Not at all.”

“Then I’ll take you up on it.” He looked around. “Where do you think the doctor is? I want to know what is going on with Winnie.”

“I’ll check in with him when I get back. Most likely, he’s doing rounds or something.”

“I suppose.” They took the stairs down to the parking area. Moments later, they were in Sam’s Ford truck.

Eli might have been Amish, but he had a typical man’s interest in all things mechanical. They spent the drive to Sam’s place discussing the engine, gas mileage, and other details about his vehicle. Only when they parked in front of Sam’s condo did he realize they’d spoken in Pennsylvania Dutch the whole time.

Funny how that came back to him without even realizing it.

“My place isn’t much,” he warned as he unlocked the door. “It’s just two bedrooms, a kitchen, and a place to sit.”

Eli looked around with interest. Stepping forward, he pressed a hand against Sam’s ancient corduroy couch. “Good enough for me.”

“Want something to eat? I have some turkey.”

“Turkey’s good. Thanks.”

Together, they made sandwiches, then ate them with pickles and tall glasses of tea. Now that their immediate concerns about Winnie were abated, Eli took time to fill Sam in on the latest news about their parents and sisters, Beth, Kristen, and Toria. Just the week before, their parents had taken a bus to Lancaster to check on
their grandparents. Mamm’s parents’ health was failing, and though the timing wasn’t the best, with planting season just around the corner, the trip had to be taken.

Sam was thankful for all the latest news. He did write to his parents once a week, and tried to visit with the family at least once a month, but that was not always possible, given everyone’s schedules. Right as they finished their sandwiches, Sam realized that Eli hadn’t filled him in on their brother Caleb. “Is Caleb all right?”

For the first time, Eli frowned. “I don’t know. He’s been restless and secretive.”

“He’s seventeen. All boys are like that, especially during their
rumspringa
. I sure was.”

“Maybe.” Leaning back, Eli said, “I remember you feeling torn. All of us knew it was because you loved schooling so much. Even the bishop knew you had a great mind and were anxious to learn.” He shook his head, considering. “But I don’t get the same feeling about Caleb, and neither does Mamm or Daed.”

“What do you think is going on?”

“Foolishness.”

“What kind? Has he been drinking beer? Staying out too late?”

“If it was just that kind of thing, I don’t think anyone would notice much. No, his behavior seems different. He’s pushing our boundaries.”

“What does Daed say?”

Eli raised an eyebrow. “What do you think? Nothing. Our father never shares his worries.” Crumpling up his napkin, he added, “And, well, Caleb is their late-in-life
child. Sometimes I think they turn a blind eye toward his activities. Far more than when you and I were teenagers.”

“Sometimes I wish he’d tell us more. I never know what he’s thinking.”

“Maybe one day he’ll share more. Not yet, though.” Stifling a yawn, Eli stood up and stretched. “I best get some sleep. I won’t be much use to Winnie if I can’t keep my eyes open.”

“Don’t worry. I’m leaving now to sit with her. And I’ll continue to sit with her tomorrow, too, after you go on home.”

“You don’t mind?”

“It’s the least I can do. Use my phone and call my cell when you wake up. I’ll give you an update.”

“I should probably call the Brennemans, too, and check in again.”

“Call all the people you want, Eli. My phone is yours.”

“Just plan on me having your bed for the night, brother. That’s enough, I think.”

After another wave goodbye, Sam walked to his car, wondering why he felt such a need to help. Because of his older, steady brother who had always been there for him? Because Eli always supported him, even when Sam’s wants and needs were so foreign to Eli’s?

Or was he doing all this for Winnie, who he’d hardly known but had felt instantly drawn to?

After all this time.

“This place smells like the inside of a
shanshtah
,” Katie murmured as they stood in front of what was left of the barn three days after it had gone up in flames.

“I wish it was only the chimney smell that concerned me,” Jonathan replied. “Unfortunately, the odor is the least of our worries.”

Yes, the air around them most certainly held the scent of ashes, but the pungent odor was nothing compared to the destruction of his barn. Though it hadn’t burned completely down, more than half was gone. What remained looked so flimsy that it wasn’t worth the risk of keeping. The whole structure was going to need to be torn down, then rebuilt. “I don’t know how I’m going to set things to rights,” he added.

“Luckily, you don’t have to do anything on your own. Both our families are eager to help, as is the rest of the
community, English and Amish. We’re all praying, too, you know.”

“I keep forgetting to count my blessings.” Thinking of Samuel Miller’s latest phone call, he said, “It is surely a blessing that Winnie is going to be better soon.”

“When Anna and I visited her yesterday, she seemed almost like herself.”

As he looked around at the extensive damage, Jonathan couldn’t help but shake his head in wonder. “It’s a blessing that all our animals came through this, too. We didn’t even lose a chicken.”

“The Lord surely was looking out for us.” Katie laid a hand on his shoulder. “He’ll help us now, too, I think. And don’t forget, we’ve got each other.”

“I never forget that,” he murmured as he shifted and turned to pull his wife into his arms. “Your love is my greatest blessing.”

Yes, her love truly did warm his heart. On some mornings, when he woke to hear Katie already fussing in the kitchen, humming a tune, he could hardly believe they were now married.

What a whirlwind their courtship had been, too! Less than a year ago he was a lonely widower, who’d gone to Katie’s home and asked if her parents could spare her for a time so she could help with Mary and Hannah while Winnie traveled to Indiana.

At first, things had been difficult—neither he nor the girls had been especially welcoming to her at first. But as days turned to weeks, a love between them all had bloomed. Next thing he knew, they were planning a
wedding. Now they were a family. Obviously, the Lord knew he needed someone special in his life.

Together they entered the house, which was miraculously undamaged by either the fire from the barn or the water from the fire trucks. As soon as they entered the kitchen, Katie began to bustle about.

He took a seat at the worn table and took a moment to watch her. As usual, she fussed like a busy bee, wiping down already clean counters, filling a teapot with water, then placing it on the gas-powered range to boil, and neatly folding two towels that the girls must have used earlier in the day. Finally, she laid a particularly pleasing cake in front of him. “I made a sour cream cake early this morning. I thought you might enjoy a slice while we make plans.”

“And how did you know plans were going to need to be made?” He’d purposely been vague about his worries, knowing she would try to shoulder all of the burdens.

She smiled as she picked up the knife and cut two generous pieces and placed them carefully on plates. “I heard the fire inspectors saying they’d be back today to visit with you. I guess we’re going to have a lot to think about.”

Biting into the warm, moist cake, he paused for a moment, just enjoying the simple goodness of the treat. After he put his fork down, he said, “I’m worried, Katie. I’m worried about Winnie and the animals and rebuilding and finding the time to rebuild. But I’m also terribly worried about the cause of the fire. The inspector
said the culprit was most likely a tossed cigarette. It just doesna make sense. Who would be smoking in my barn?”

A dark shadow flickered across her face as she pushed her plate to one side. “Well, now. That is a difficult question. I’m not sure.”

Something in her voice led Jonathan to believe that there was something she wasn’t saying. “But you must have an idea, right?”

“Well…I might.”

“Come now, Katie. Tell me what
you
think. Do you reckon it was maybe an English teen trying to find a place to get away?”

“All I know is that it wasn’t me or you or Mary and Hannah.”

Hastily swallowing his latest bite of cake, he looked at her frankly. Yes, his
frau
most certainly had an idea about the smoker in his barn. “Who do you think, Katie? I’m out of ideas. I’ve racked my brain, but for the life of me, I canna think of anyone who would even think of such a thing.”

Reluctantly, she looked at him. “Maybe it was an Amish teenager,” she said quietly. “Maybe someone was having a little smoke and something went terribly wrong. An accident. I don’t think it was an
Englischer
teen. There are many other places to smoke and carry on besides an Amish farm. No…I reckon it was an Amish teen. An Amish boy or girl experimenting with smoking.”

“That could never happen.” No member of the community would lurk around other people’s property. Be
sides, if it was someone who was Amish, he would have come forward and admitted his mistake.

“Sure it could. We Amish aren’t perfect, you know. We all make mistakes time and again.”

He pushed away his plate. It no longer looked appetizing. “Yes, but…”

With a hard glare, she stopped his words. “Oh, honestly, Jonathan. Don’t be so naïve. I smoked. I experimented.”

She was such a perfect wife he sometimes forgot her dark history. “Well, you’re the exception, Katie. I’m sure most Amish
kinner
don’t act out like you did.”

“Like me?”

“Jah, like you,” he fired back. “Your running-around years were difficult—you’ve said so yourself. Neither Winnie nor I ever did the things you’ve admitted to doing.”

“I thought you said you understood about my past,” she said quietly. “I thought you forgave me.”

“I have.” Feeling frustrated, Jonathan reached for her hand. “I’m not angry with you, I’m just sayin’ I don’t think an Amish teen burned down my barn.”

In a huff, she stood up. “Well, I think differently, not that you seem to want to listen to my views. Now, excuse me while I go tend to the girls’ rooms.” Like a whirling dervish, Katie jumped to her feet, slapped the cake plate onto a counter with a thump, then swirled toward the front hallway.

He called out to her before she disappeared completely. “Katie, what did I say?”

Her feet slowed. “It’s not worth talking about.”

“I think it is. I thought you were tryin’ to teach me how to be more open. To communicate better!”

When she turned around, Jonathan noticed tears had filled her eyes. “Katie, please talk to me.”

“Perhaps you could begin to listen with your ears and your heart. Don’t say one thing and mean another.”

“I wasn’t doing that.”

“I think you were. I think you said you forgave me, but you didn’t really mean it.”

Her words caught him off guard. Had he done that?

Before he could say a word, she spoke again. “Jonathan, perhaps you should do some thinking about whoever did this. The Bible asks us to forgive our sins, even those who sin against us. Are you going to be able to do that? Are you ever going to be able to really forgive whoever burned your barn, put your animals in danger, and sent your sister to the hospital?”

He was prevented from pursuing the discussion by a brief hard rap at the door. “That’s the inspector,” he said.

A flash of tenderness filled her gaze before she turned away. “You’d best go get the door, then.”

After another hard rap, he opened the door to the fire inspector. “Good afternoon, Mr. Grisson.”

“Mr. Lundy, hello. Want to come out to the barn? I’d like your opinion on some things.”

“I’ll be right there,” he said quietly, just before he donned his black hat and followed the fire marshal outside. Katie had given him a lot to think about.
And, most importantly, he had a feeling she was right. He wasn’t sure if he was ever going to be ready to forgive the person who trespassed and damaged his property.

That was a terribly hard realization to come to terms with.

Sam’s cell phone chimed late Sunday afternoon, just as he was about to drive over to the hospital and check on Winnie again.

As soon as he answered, Eli spoke in a rush. “Samuel, I’m calling from the Brennemans’. I am worried about Caleb. Once again he is not here when he’s supposed to be.”

“Maybe he simply forgot the time. You remember how it was when we were teens,” Sam said reasonably.

“No, it’s more than that. I told him he needed to tend to his chores, no matter what else he did today. When I went out to the barn, the horses’ stalls still hadn’t been cleaned.”

Now, that was worrisome. Their father had ingrained in all of them the importance of tending to responsibilities. He couldn’t imagine Caleb had been taught any different. “Eli, do you think he’s gotten into some kind of trouble?”

“I’m not altogether sure.” Sounding weary, Eli added, “I was never interested in pushing boundaries like he is. Come to think of it, I was never too concerned with the outside world. And you, you just wanted to go to school.”

That was a fair assumption. Learning had been his rebellion, and it had taken up a lot of his extra time. It had been a difficult and tough decision to discuss his desire to focus on learning instead of Amish life. “Learning how things worked was all I thought about. But Caleb isn’t like us, is he?”

“He’s more secretive—and used to more freedoms. Remember how we always had the girls to look after?”

“I never thought I’d ever be able to go anywhere without Beth,” Sam said.

“I feel responsible, too, since Mamm and Daed are visiting our grandparents.”

“When Daed comes back, you can speak to him.” With a jolt, Sam realized that, indeed, that was how it was going to be. He’d had little to no part in raising Caleb—the boy had been still a child when he’d left home. Though they were brothers, sometimes he felt as if he was little more than a distant relation.

“One night last week…he came home drunk.”

“All boys do that at least once, I imagine.” He’d taught at the college long enough to know a bit of experimental drinking was the norm instead of the exception.

“I wonder…”

Sam clutched the phone tighter. “What?”

“It’s nothin’, just that…”

“What, Eli?” Sam was really starting to feel alarmed.

“Lord forgive me for even thinking this, but I don’t trust Caleb right now. I’m afraid…” He closed his eyes. “I’m afraid he was involved with the fire.”

Sam felt as if someone had punched him in the stomach. “You think?”

“I appreciate you not pushing off my fears. Samuel, ever since the fire, Caleb has seemed more withdrawn. He’s not offered to go with me to help clean up. In fact, every time I mention the fire, he looks like he wants to escape.” He cleared his throat. “Samuel, what are we going to do if it
was
Caleb who started the fire?”

“I don’t know.” That would be a terrible situation. He didn’t know what he would do—or what he would say if Caleb found out that he and Eli suspected him of that.

Both situations would be hard to excuse.

“I won’t have a boy of mine lazing around from sunup to sundown,” his father called out from the buggy whose wheel he was repairing. “Get to work and stop your lolly-gagging.”

David Hostetler hurried out to the barn, grabbed hold of his work gloves, and went where his
daed
had told him to go, to the back pasture. Weeds were threatening to choke the path to the pond creek. It was a sorry, awful job, pulling out weeds, cutting debris, then carting it away. As he tromped out, taking care to not step in the mud, he passed his two older brothers who were almost mirror images of their father.

“What were you doing over there, just sitting around in the sun?” Kenny asked. “Daydreaming?”

“No. I just lost track of time.”

“You’d best start remembering or be prepared to be reminded,” Anthony said.

Though Anthony was right, David didn’t comment on it. Instead, he tucked his head down and kept walking. There was nothing to say, and nothing anyone expected him to say. He was the middle child in a family of eight. He never seemed to stand out. At least, not in any good way.

He picked up his pace. Finally, away from the prying eyes of his family, right next to the cool, trickling waters of Wishing Well Lake, he pulled off his glove.

The burns were painful, the skin raw and blistered. Days in hot stiff leather gloves only served to make things worse. The only good thing about his current chores in the fields were that if he worked his hands raw, no one would question where he got the burns, they’d only tease him for having soft hands, not work-hardened and tough.

But David would welcome that teasing, because it would mean that no one knew what he’d done. After slipping on his gloves, he grabbed hold of the scythe and swung the blade against the tall grasses.

The sting was almost welcome. Anything was better than thinking about the fire.