Sisters of the Heart - 03 - Forgiven (8 page)

Winnie felt as if someone had punched her in the stomach. They suspected Sam and Eli’s brother? “Really?”

“He lives within walking distance,” Katie pointed out. “Not all the other kids do.”

“I suppose.” Caleb had changed some over the years—and it was clear both Eli and Sam were worried about him. But to imagine him responsible seemed farfetched. “I’m sure this has been bothering Jonathan as well,” said Winnie. “Have you scheduled a raising?”

“Not yet. Actually, I think he’s been wondering if it would be possible to do the barn raising near Henry and Anna’s wedding in May. We’ll have lots of friends and family in for that.”

“Many hands will make the work better.”

“He doesn’t want to steal Anna’s and Henry’s attention, though.”

Sipping her delicious tea, Winnie nodded. “I wouldn’t want to do that neither. Anna’s waited a mighty long time for this day.”

Katie nodded, delicately nibbling on her bread. “She has. She never said a word, but I got the feeling she was disappointed that Jonathan and I got married so quickly, even though everyone knew she had to do things in her own time.” Wiping a crumb from her skirt, she looked to Winnie. “So, are you going to tell me about Samuel?”

“There’s not much to tell.”

“I think maybe there is.” Grabbing a cloth, she smoothed it over the fine wood of the oak table. “I’ve seen you sneak a peek at him a time or two.”

Her sister-in-law’s statement embarrassed her. “I look at everyone, Katie.”

Katie stopped dusting and frowned. “Don’t get your feathers ruffled. I’m just stating what I’ve seen. Though Samuel is six years older, I recall that more than one girl was taken with him when we were all in the same schoolhouse.”

Winnie remembered that, too. Just as she remembered how confused she’d felt when she’d learned that he wanted to move away from all of them. “Now it doesna matter what I think or what I notice. He’s not one of us anymore, Katie. That’s all that matters.”

“That’s true. Yet…it is a shame, though.”

“Yes.” Winnie wasn’t ready to share her thoughts, but
they were there, perched on the edge of her tongue, plain as day.

Looking her over, Katie narrowed her eyes. “I think there was something between you two. A spark.”

Winnie knew there was. She felt lit up like a lightning bug whenever he was nearby. But that didn’t make her reality any different. He was not for her, and couldn’t be.

And she was so tired of disappointment. For whatever reasons, she’d never been drawn to any of the men in her order. And her visit with Malcolm had only made her dreams for love and marriage seem unattainable. Malcolm had been so self-centered and full of himself. They’d have whole conversations about his family, his goals, and his dreams…and never once would he ever consider that she might want something, too.

Now, of course, she’d become attracted to the absolute wrong person. If she didn’t stop daydreaming about Samuel Miller, all she’d be doing would be setting herself up for a good cry. Again.

“Where’ve you been, David?” Caleb Miller asked as he raced to catch up.

David shrugged. “Around.”

“Not very around.” Caleb huffed a bit as they ran down a slope near the back of the Lundys’ land toward Wishing Well Lake. “You weren’t at McClusky’s on Saturday or with everyone at the Brown Dog on Friday night.”

“I’ve had chores and stuff,” David said, hoping that would explain away his hands. They still looked raw and hurt. He’d taken to dodging most everyone who would notice, not wanting to risk giving an explanation.

But Caleb had been persistent and hard to resist. Since the weather was especially warm, they’d both decided to go fishing, and maybe even take a dip in the lake. Their chores were done, the sky was robin’s egg blue, and they had three hours until twilight, when it
would be time to rush home for dinner and to feed the animals.

After they hopped a freshly painted fence and walked past a group of dairy cows, Caleb added, “I looked for you at Sunday’s singing.”

He bent his head down so his friend wouldn’t realize how much his words affected him. He didn’t have many friends, and if it wasn’t for Caleb, most likely no one would have noticed him missing. “I just didn’t feel like goin’.”

As was his way, Caleb accepted the reason without thinking about it twice. “Well, you sure missed a lot of talk.”

“What about?”

“The Lundys’ barn, of course.”

He clenched his hands, glad Caleb wasn’t looking at them. “What are people saying?”

Caleb didn’t glance at him as he pushed aside a clump of long grass and led the way to the banks of the lake. “No one is any closer to figuring out who started the fire, but Jonathan’s going to try and figure out who did it.”

“Why?” he asked in a rush. “It was an accident.”

Caleb stopped and looked his way. “Why would you say that?”

“I don’t know. I mean, I thought that’s what everyone was saying.”

Caleb pulled out his fishing pole and opened up a jar filled with a good dozen night crawlers. “You’re right. The fire inspector said arson is usually done a differ
ent way. Anyway, there’re rumors that Jonathan Lundy might be going against Bishop Kropfs’s wishes. No one knows what to think about that.” After a good long pause, he said, “It’s all kind of scary soundin’, don’tcha think?”

He was so scared he thought he’d start crying like a baby. No one went against the bishop. Well, no one he’d ever heard of. “Why…why do ya think Jonathan is so determined?”

“My brothers were talking about it last night. I stood in the next room and listened. Basically, Sam and Eli say that Jonathan can’t forgive the people who did this because they won’t admit their mistakes.” As if Caleb had just been talking about his math facts, he shrugged and pushed over the jar of night crawlers. “Take one and bait your hook. We ain’t got all day, you know.”

Dutifully, he pulled out a thick worm, stuck it on the hook, then cast off. “You know, maybe whoever started the fire never meant to do it.”

Caleb rolled his eyes. “Of course the person had a reason.”

“It could have just been an accident.”

“Yeah, but if it was an accident, whoever did it would have admitted to it, don’tcha think? Jonathan Lundy would’ve gotten mad, but the person would have been forgiven.”

“Sometimes it’s not that easy.”

“You’re making it a whole lot harder than it has to be. It’s our way to forgive—even if saying it and hearing it ain’t easy.”

“But—”

Caleb screwed up his face. “David, why are you quarreling about this? Whose side are you on anyway?”

“No one’s. I’m…I’m just surprised someone would go against the bishop’s wishes, that’s all. My father says we’re always supposed to mind our elders.”

“Even when they’re wrong?”

Especially when they’re wrong. That’s what faith was, right? But, as usual, he didn’t say anything. He didn’t dare go against Caleb—not when Caleb was his only good friend.

And, well, everyone liked Caleb Miller. If David got on his bad side, life would be even harder. “Never mind. Let’s just fish, Caleb.”

“Yeah. Sure.”

Only the thought of hooking a big fish, big enough for Caleb to tell others about, gave David hope. That and the thought of how good fried catfish would be at supper.

“Just a little bit farther now,” Henry Brenneman whispered in Anna’s ear. “Careful now, mind the rock.”

“Mind the rock! Oh, now that’s quite a phrase for you to be saying, especially since I can’t see a thing at the moment.” Chills raced through her as he chuckled low and sweet against the nape of her neck.

Reaching out behind her, Anna reached for his hand. When his capable fingers curved around hers, she held fast. “It wasna necessary to blindfold me, you know. I would have gone wherever you wanted to guide me.”

“I think differently.”

She smiled even though she couldn’t see his shining eyes. But even blindfolded, Anna knew he was pleased as punch. All morning he’d been staying close by her side. After they served guests, he’d invented a half-dozen reasons to stay in the kitchen far longer than normal. Why, he’d even helped her shake out the entryway rugs, something that he usually never ceased to avoid. Henry wasn’t one for dust flying in his face. “So where are we going? And what is the occasion, please?”

“If I told you, it wouldn’t be a surprise.”

“Exactly!”

“Not one more word. Settle down, Anna. Just a few more steps. Trust me.”

She did. She trusted Henry like no one else. With that in mind, she stopped fussing and put her hands in his and trusted.

Still holding one hand and taking comfort in the other that rested on her shoulder, Anna trudged on. Oh, the ground had never felt so rocky and difficult! Though her feet were encased in sturdy shoes, she still felt off kilter.

“Stop.”

“Blindfold off now?”

Instead of replying right away, he merely slipped his fingers around the cloth and loosened the knot behind her head. “What do you see?” he whispered, his mouth close to her neck.

She blinked several times to allow her eyes to adjust.
And then she noticed the stakes on the ground. “Is this for our home?”

“It is.” Eagerly, he pulled her along, showing her where their bedroom, kitchen, and family rooms would be. When he slowed to a stop, he stomped his foot. “And this will be our front porch. Anna, within a year, we’ll be greeting the morning sun from this spot.”

She turned in a circle and then turned again, this time spinning fast enough that the air flew up under her skirts and belled them out. She giggled at the thought of behaving like a schoolgirl. But that’s what she felt like! Free and in love and happy. “It looks perfect, Henry.”

Suddenly the emotion of all they’d been through caught up with her. “We’re so blessed.”

Triumph in his eyes fell away as he looked at her more closely. Reaching out, he gently wiped a tear away. “Why are you crying?”

“I don’t know. I guess because for a while I thought all of this was never going to happen. I’ve been wondering why you never mentioned where you wanted to build.”

“I’ve been too afraid.”

“Afraid of what?” This was news to her. From the time she’d first moved to his home, Henry had always acted confident and assured.

“You, if you wanna know the truth.”

Anna was dumbstruck. “You’re not making any sense.”

Stepping to the side, he reached for her hands. When
he held both securely within his own, he said, “Anna, you’ve given up so much. Sometimes, I know it’s been particularly hard.”

“It has, but I expected some things to be hard—they would have to be, don’t you think? I mean, honestly, Henry, I was used to microwaving popcorn and zapping frozen dinners. But…but that doesn’t mean my old ways were better. It’s just taken some adjustment…and I have adjusted.”

“I know you miss your music stations on the radio,” he said, showing Anna that he’d truly listened to every story she’d told him about her past life. “I know you liked watching your soaps, too.”

She fought a smile. “Believe me, I’m perfectly fine not watching
Days of Our Lives
.”

“I’m just sayin’ that I wouldn’t have been shocked if you had changed your mind.”

“Changed my mind—Henry, did you really think I could just up and leave you?” Anna didn’t even try to contain her surprise. After everything they’d been through, she would have thought Henry was the last person in the world to doubt her love for him.

“I didn’t think you would do something without thinking, but I could imagine that one day running your own home without any electricity might be terribly hard.” He cleared his throat. “I’ve never taken your efforts for granted, Anna. You’ve given up a lot for me.”

“I’ve gained more than I gave up,” she said, knowing that words could never completely describe the peace she’d found with the Amish, the confidence that now
surrounded her because she knew she was not alone—she was walking with the Lord. “I told my mother that yesterday when she came out to visit.” Slowly, she added, “And, you know what? I think Mom is realizing that. No longer is she worried about me missing credit cards and cell phones. She’s thinking about how happy I am, and how secure and comfortable I feel with you. How our love is the most important thing to me.”

“I’m glad you two are talking more.”

“Me too.” Anna didn’t know if she and her mother would ever completely put past arguments behind them, but she did think that they’d reached an agreement. She’d even stopped complaining about Henry’s Amish life and how unsuitable he was for Anna. Sometime during the last year, she’d seemed to understand Anna and Henry were a good match. That it was their differences that complemented each other, and made each of their rough edges smoother.

Anna was truly grateful for her mother’s change of heart. “Oh, Henry, I can hardly believe we’ll be married at the beginning of May.”

“May is not a long way off at all.”

“No, though sometimes it still feels like a lifetime.”

Reaching out for her, he murmured, “Sometimes, I think that, too.”

His pronouncement made Anna very happy.

Sam had never minded getting dirty. That was a good thing, since at the moment, he was knee deep in mud and manure. He and Eli had been plowing and prepping
the soil for the spring alfalfa crop over the last week, and while he didn’t necessarily mind it, he had a very good feeling that he’d never get the earthy smell out of his clothes ever again.

Two rows over, Eli caught sight of his face and laughed heartily. “You look like you’ve been rolling in mud and came up the loser.”

“I feel like it.”

“In another day or two we’ll be done and the soil will be better for our effort.”

“That doesn’t mean I won’t be happy to be clean for a bit, though.”

“You city types,” Eli teased.

Eli chuckled again, then got back to work, carefully raking the soil with as much care as if he was handling baby chickens.

Sam did the same, though his mind kept drifting to other things, such as the people in the community. Most of the conversations he’d been part of had centered on the Lundy farm.

He liked Jonathan Lundy and was eager to help him repair his barn. Jonathan had a good job at the lumber factory and therefore could only work on Saturdays. A group of men—Sam included—had decided to help dismantle the building. Next would come a month of Saturdays in preparation to rebuild, culminating in a barn raising.

“Is Jonathan still thinking about raising his barn around the Brenneman wedding?”

“I believe so. May is a
gut
time to work. The weather
will be warmer, and most of the planting will be done. Lots of men will be there to lend a helping hand.” Straightening for a moment, Eli said, “It’s a shame you won’t be here for that.”

“I’ll try.”

“Really? I thought you had to get back to the university.”

“I do, but I want to do my part.”

“You already have. No one will expect so much from you.”

That bothered Sam more than he was willing to admit. Maybe because it was so true. No one here had ever accused him of not belonging, or for wanting to follow his dreams. Instead, they seemed to take his appearance in their lives the way they’d taken his leaving, with a shrug and a prayer that God had a plan for each of them.

Now that he thought of it, his English friends didn’t treat him much differently. They were cordial and easy to work with. They respected his intelligence and his work ethic. But had they ever reached out to him in order to deepen their friendship?

More importantly, had he ever done that? As Sam felt his muscles expand and contract with the motion of his raking, he thought he never really had. No, more likely, he was constantly torn between two worlds, precariously balancing the views and values he was brought up with and the modern norms.

And there were quite a few modern conveniences he had enjoyed very much. Such as ESPN. He loved
watching sports on television. He enjoyed baseball games and had become a fan of the Indians. He liked watching the college basketball games and rooting for the underdogs.

But was sports on TV all he needed?

“Let’s clean up now, the sun’s beginning to lay low.”

“All right.”

Sam walked his path, looking around with a sense of pleasure as he did so. His body felt worn, his mind free. He looked forward to a good meal and a solid night’s sleep.

Those were the things that mattered. Not ambition and research papers.