Skeletons (5 page)

10

Jovanna

E
xhaling a sigh of relief as we boarded the airplane for our flight back to St. Louis and away from my past. Putting a piece of gum in my mouth and my iPod ear buds in my ears I tried to zone out while listening to Chrissette Michelle, but my mind was not allowing me escape no matter how high up in the sky the airplane climbed my thoughts were still grounded in Memphis.

The memories were still so fresh in my mind that I could almost smell the scent of thick smoke, cheap perfume and stale pussy that burned my nostrils every time I inhaled. That aroma is an odor that I will never forget no matter how much top shelf perfume that I bought. Unlike most of the girls at the Honey Lounge, stepping out on stage was something that I never got used to. Most times I would have to drink three Tom Collins and smoke a blunt before I heard my song being played for me to go out and perform.

With Prince’s, Scandalous, thumping through the speakers I would walk on stage after the DJ announced my stage name, Marquita, to the guests. Donning a blonde wig, four and a half inch stilettos that I could barely keep my balance in and a two piece outfit that almost covered my ass; I would slowly strut out onto the stage. As the music played I swayed to the silver pole and touched it softly at first, just I would touch a man, then grabbing the pole I snaked my body around it slowly with the tempo of the music. Closing my eyes I’d imagine that I was not at the Honey Lounge, but that I was dancing for my man, alone in our home while our children slept peacefully in their beds and he watched me lovingly instead of like I was a piece of meat. I had to remove myself from my reality in order to give the men in the club their fantasy.

With my back to the cold metal pole I lifted my arms above my head grabbing the pole as I slid down the length of it parting my legs inches as I slid down the pole. Once in a squatting position I lay on the hardwood floor on my stomach with my back arched with my round ass were in the air and my legs spread, the pole resting in between my ass cheeks. With my eyes closed I could hear the money being dropped on the stage, if I were nothing I was an expert at earning money at the Honey Lounge. Rising up on my knees I unzipped my top exposing the soft flesh of my fresh seventeen-year old breast, making sure to graze each one of them with my fingertips.

Wrapping my left leg around the cold pole I swirled around it getting lost in Prince’s voice, his soft whimpers made me moan as I imagined that I was with my lover. Removing the short skirt that covered the barely there thong I wrapped both legs around the pole, leaned back arching my back. For my finale I walked to the edge of the stage, turned around slowly bending at the waist and grabbed my ankles giving the men who were lucky enough to be in the front of the stage a good view. I was not listening to the whistles, cat calls or the men saying what they would do to me later that night as they begged to take me home; I silenced all of that and the only sounds in my ears was the seductive ballad that Prince sang and the soft sounds of money hitting the stage.

Nudging me out of my trance, Tony asked, “Are you alright?”

Smiling I shook my head, closing my eyes, washing my inner turmoil to the tranquil sounds of neo-soul music.

Later that evening as Justin and I lay wrapped in one another’s arms my mind was still in limbo. Justin pulled away from me, looking at me with his deep blue eyes he said, “You seem distant today.”

Moving hair from my face I said, “I’m fine, I guess that I’m just tired.”

“Maybe you should take a break from everything for a while.” He suggested.

“I wish that I could Justin, but I have another party coming up.”

“I thought that the winter months were your slow season.”

“This is slow baby.” I kissed him on the tip of his nose.

“I just don’t want you to over-work yourself.”

“I’m fine; I guess that I’m still a little drained from the party; it got pretty wild.” I got out of bed and walked into the living room to turn up the thermostat, Justin and I were at a never-ending war about the temperature in our house. He liked the house to be at a cool sixty-five degrees where as my people are from Africa and we need the heat so I often cranked the heat up to eighty degrees.

“Leave the thermostat alone Jovanna, it feels good in here.” He yelled from the bedroom.

Smiling I walked back into our bedroom, “I don’t know what you are talking about Justin.”

“Yeah right.” He snickered as he turned over on his back.

Kissing him softly on his chest I climbed on top of my soon-to-be husband and wrapped my body around his, “Justin, are there things in your past that you are so ashamed of that you would never tell anyone about?”

Frowning Justin looked at me, “What do you mean?”

“I mean are there things that you have done in your past that you are ashamed of and if anyone found out about you’d be forced to move out of town and change your name.” I asked as I toyed with his sandy blonde hair.

“Well, I did impregnate an elderly nun when I was in Catholic school.” He joked.

“I’m serious.” I said jabbing him in the side.

“To be honest Jovanna, there is nothing in my past that I have to be ashamed of. I have led a normal, stereotypical Caucasian life. What about you; do you have any skeletons in your closet that I should know about?”

I wanted to tell Justin the truth, but I knew that that truth would cost me the man that I loved so I lied, “Not really, my life was pretty boring too.”

“I guess that we are just two boring people and that is why I love your boring ass.” He whispered as he kissed me on my forehead, “Now get off of me so we can get some sleep.”

I felt terrible for not coming clean to Justin, but I couldn’t let him know about my past and I would do anything to keep this secret hidden from him.

11

Asteria

F
ridays were usually our busiest day as clients got their hair done for their weekend activities. While Pandia was styling a client’s hair I was in the office looking for new stylist chairs for the booths. Since the salon was doing so well Pandia and I decided to remodel it and I was enjoying shopping for new furniture and fixtures to make Gods and Goddesses one of the best salons around. Hearing a familiar voice I walked out of the office and saw Keith standing at the reception desk kissing Pandia on the cheek.

When Pandia saw me standing there watching them she said, “Asteria, Keith came to take me to lunch, so I’ll be back in a few?”

Trying to ignore the fire that was building up in the pit of my stomach I responded, “Are you finished?”

Looking at me sideways Pandia retorted, “I wouldn’t be leaving if I weren’t, now would I?”

Forcing a smile on my face I walked back to the office making sure I didn’t slam the door behind me. How Keith could come down here and take that bitch for lunch? He never took me to lunch, he never takes me anywhere. Grabbing my cell phone off of the desk I sent Keith a text message:

How cute, taking the wife to lunch lol you two are meant for one another.

Keith hated when I talked about his relationship with my sister, but that is all that I could do to keep myself from crying. Instead of sitting in the office feeling sorry for myself I called Santana and Jovanna to meet me for lunch at Pi which was right down the street from the salon.

Santana looked like the professional that she was dressed in a tweed, chocolate, wide-legged business suit with her golden bob hair style softly framing her round face. In college Santana was called freckles because she had a trail of freckles that ran across the bridge of her nose which gave her honey colored skin a youthful appearance. Jovanna, on the other hand, has always been more of the Bohemian type with a pair of wide-legged trouser jeans, a thick chocolate sweater with a black belt and brown cap pulled over her long jet-black hair.

Choosing a booth close to a window we sat down and ordered our drinks, I made sure that I could see out of the window so that I could see Keith and his wife ride by.

“So what is so important that I had to drive all of the way to U-City to eat lunch with you Asteria?” Santana fussed, “You are lucky that I’m not busy today.”

I sighed heavily, “Men issues.”

“Girl that is the story of our lives.” Jovanna said.

“What in the hell are you talking about Jovanna, Justin is too good to you. Hell he has forsaken his own damn family for your black ass where most men can’t even forsake their video games for their women.

“No one is perfect; Justin and I have our share of issues too. Don’t get it twisted.”

“Seriously, Asteria what is going on with you and this unidentified man?” Jovanna asked. “Didn’t we just have this conversation the other night?”

“Sometimes I feel as if I’m being played for a fool.” I answered.

“If you feel like a nut then you are probably a nut honey.” Santana said bluntly as she took a bite of her chicken sandwich.

“There is nothing stronger than the female intuition, listen to your gut.” Jovanna said.

If I had listened to my gut I would not be in the situation because my gut told me not to start sleeping with my twin sister’s husband in the first place. Now my gut was telling me to walk away, but my heart doesn’t want to listen.

“I love this man, yet I feel so empty inside.” I said. “When we are together it feels so right, but when he leaves I just want to tear my heart out and throw it out of my window and hit him in the head with it like HERE IT IS TAKE IT!” I exclaimed. “Knowing him, he’d probably just step over it and keep on walking.”

“Love is supposed to fill you up not make you feel empty.” Jovanna put. “If you are walking away drained then you are not getting what you need.”

“After putting in all of the work.” Santana added. “You have too many other things going on in your life to let this man dictate your emotions like that. You have the salon and your son to worry about.”

Sighing I picked at the salad that the waitress sat in front of me, “But I don’t want to be alone. The salon can’t hold me at night and my son can’t make love to me; I want to be a part of a family.”

They listened to me go on and on about the love that I sought from a man that was unavailable to me.

“I feel as if I could spend the rest of my life with him, but then I also feel that I am living in some sort of fantasy land and he is just using me to get what he wants.”

“Is this man married?” Santana questioned, “I’m asking because he has all of the signs of a man that is unobtainable.”

Catching me off guard with her question, I knocked over a glass of water, spilling it on my jeans, “No, he isn’t married, he is just a busy man.”

My girls looked knowingly at one another, but didn’t say another word. “He seems as if he has some other things going on in his life and that is why he can’t fully give you what you need.”

“He works a lot.” I lied.

“Why haven’t we met him yet?” Jovanna asked.

“Because I don’t want to keep running men in and out of my friend’s lives. When the time is right you all will meet.” I lied again, I never intended for Santana and Jovanna to know about Keith and I. They would never understand and it would most likely end our friendship. There are certain rules that as a woman could not be broken, the number one unspoken rule is that you do not sleep with the man of your best friends or sister. While I did sleep with Keith, I never intended to let them in on my secret affair with Keith, instead he and I will move away after he leaves Pandia. I would just have to wait until the time was right and I am more than willing to do so.

“How are you and Mike doing Santana?” I asked changing the subject as a way to divert their prying eyes.

“Married life is just that; married life.” She said dryly and bit down into her ham and cheese sandwich leaving a bit of honey Dijon mustard on her lips.

“Wow.” Jovanna said, “Is that what I have to look forward to?”

“When Mike and I first got married, he couldn’t keep his hands off of me, but now after twelve years of marriage I almost have to beg him for sex.”

“You no longer have a sex life?” I asked.

“Unless you call five minutes once or twice a month a sex life.” She cut her brown eyes.

“Do you think that he is seeing someone else?” I questioned.

“No, Mike isn’t the type that will cheat on me. Honestly I just think that we have just gotten bored with one another.”

Jovanna asked, “How do you get bored with your husband? I can’t imagine ever getting bored with Justin.”

“You have to understand that Mike and I have been together since we were in high school, throughout college and now we have settled into this married life slump. I am a different person than I was in high school and throughout college as is he.”

“Are you okay with that?” I asked.

Sighing Santana answered, “I don’t know.”

“You guys have just lost your spark, there are books, workshops and even retreats that couples can go on in order to ignite that fire that they once had.” Jovanna added.

“I don’t know if I even want to invest that amount of time into anything like that.” She sighed. “Besides Mike believes the only help that we need is the help of prayer and God.”

“That is a Preacher’s son for you.” Asteria smiled.

Looking at her in disbelief I said, “Marriage is an investment Santana, and like any other investment you have to invest in it. You and Mike have been together since high school that is a long time to just throw away. Lasting marriages are so rare these days, I just don’t want to see your marriage fail.”

“Who said that we were failing?” Santana shot, “All I said that was we have fallen into a slump and this is common for couples who have been together for some time. Don’t worry we will be alright.”

“What are you ladies up to for the weekend?” I asked changing the subject as it was clear that Santana didn’t want to talk about her marriage any further.

“I have a full plate dealing with wedding stuff and I have that to meet with a client to go over her party plans.” Jovanna said, “I’m going to be pretty busy.”

“As usual.” I said, “You never sit still.”

“Well, I was invited to a party.” Santana announced with excitement.

With a raised eyebrow I asked, “Who invited you to a party?”

“My assistant, Tabitha.” She answered. “Damn have I gotten so lame that it is impossible for me to be invited to parties?” Santana laughed.

“Isn’t she the dark skinned girl with the long extensions?” Jovanna asked.

“Yes, she is a great assistant.”

“She is a brick house.” Jovanna exclaimed, “She is a cute girl, thank God you are a female and not one of those horny men or else she would have a hard time getting her work done.”

“Remember our twenties?” I asked.

We all laughed.

Santana spoke, “I remember them and I’m so glad that they are over. I love my thirties; I know who I am, and where I want to be.”

I agreed, “Your twenties are all about exploration, but they are filled with so many uncertainties and insecurities.”

“If I could have my twenty-something body with my thirty-something mind I would be one bad bitch!” Jovanna joked.

We laughed so loud that people were looking our way and that is how it was when I got together with my two best friends; they always made me feel better no matter how large the storm cloud was that chased me.

When I got back to the salon, Pandia was styling a client; whatever she and Keith did on her lunch break must’ve been good because she was wearing a smile from ear to ear. She could smile all that she wanted, because he would be at my house tonight and by tomorrow that stupid smile would be replaced by tears.