Slope of Love (Love in Bloom: The Remingtons) (11 page)

The guilt she’d been ignoring since they’d shared the heart-stopping kiss made her throat thicken. With everything on the line, and honesty written all over his face, she couldn’t hide from it any longer.

“I didn’t tell you the truth about my shoulder.”

“I know.” He touched her hand. “I figured you’d tell me when you were ready.”

“I’m not ready now, either.”

He shrugged. “You will be. Eventually. Just tell me this. Should you stop practicing?”

“No.” The word came so fast she practically spit it at him.

“You’re sure?”

“Yes. I have to practice.” That part was true, and not just for now. She was always in training for the next Olympics; they all were. Whether it was two years or two weeks away made no difference. A competitive athlete was always in training for the next big event. “God, Rush. You’re turning my whole life upside down. Do you know how long I’ve hoped that you’d see me as more than a friend?” Before he could answer, she added, “What about your
no relationships during this competition
season
thing?”

“It’s no secret that I’m all about focus, and women mess with my focus.”

“I’m a woman, and focus is precisely the reason I didn’t break up with Marcus sooner. It would have been too distracting to deal with a breakup while competing.”

Rush pushed off of the doorframe and rubbed the back of his neck. She’d struck a nerve.

“Jayla, I haven’t been with any women this season because I only want to be with you. It’s that simple. Yes, I’m about focus, and I don’t know how our relationship will interfere with my focus because I’ve never cared enough about a woman before to test it. I’ve never had a real relationship; you know that. But don’t kid yourself. You were distracted just by dating Marcus.”

She chose to ignore that particular truth. “And I have other stuff to deal with. Big stuff.”

“Let me help you.” He took a step toward her, and she stepped back.

“There are some things I need to figure out on my own. But, Rush, the more important issue is focusing and dating. You’ll lose focus and you’ll resent me for it. If not now, then if we stay together, next season. What happens after the summer, when we go back into full-blown training?”
We?
The way her shoulder was aching, she had serious doubts that she’d be training with the team next year. She pushed the thought away before it could take hold and distract her from their discussion. “You think I want to be responsible for messing up your focus? Or worse? You’ll realize it won’t work and you’ll dump me? Then I’ve lost my best friend and boyfriend.” She crossed her arms like a shield against the truth.

“We’ve always trained together.”

“No. We’ve always been together as
friends
when we train. Not a couple. There’s a big difference.” She could hardly believe she was talking Rush
out
of wanting to be with her. She had no idea what they’d find with her shoulder, and if the doctors were right and she ended up unable to compete, would he still look at her the same way? Until she figured out her own life, how could she drag him into it?

Rush stepped inside the cabin and closed the door behind him. “Jayla, we’re both competitors. We both know what it takes. If any two people can make a relationship work while competing, we can.”

“So you’d chance losing your focus that easily?”
Why am I shaking?

His eyes were sincere. “For you? Yes.”

She was breathing so hard that her words tumbled fast from her lips. “You say all the right things, but you forget. I know who you really are. You said yourself that you’ve never had a real girlfriend. Why do you think we’ll be any different?” She sank down on the couch and pulled her legs up beneath her.

Rush sat beside her. “Because we
are
different. We’ve not only been friends for fifteen years, but we’ve been best friends. We’ve shared the good and the awful. We’ve cried about losing races that we had no business crying over. We celebrated wins by making snow angels.” He cocked one side of his mouth up. “Do you really think I’d do that with anyone else? Come on. We both know about hard work, hours of practice, and determination. We won’t hold each other back or whine about not getting enough attention.”

Jayla shook her head, trying to ignore the lump in her throat.

“You’re not a quitter, which can mean only that I must have totally misread you. That you didn’t feel what I did when we kissed.”

When she didn’t answer, his eyes glazed over, and she swore she saw the hope in them float away with his next breath. It nearly broke her. Between her shoulder and Marcus, she’d lost time and focus. She had to prove to herself, and to the coach, that she could still compete. And when she added that to Rush’s need for tunnel vision when he trained, it weighed her down like a lead coat.

Rush pushed to his feet. “I didn’t realize.”

She grabbed his hand and jumped to her feet so fast she nearly knocked him over. “It’s not that, Rush.” She felt him pull away and tightened her grip. “Kissing you was better than winning the Olympics.”

Tension rolled off him in waves. “But?”

She wrapped her fingers around the waist of his jeans. “But we both know this can’t go very far. There’s a reason you’re so focused when you train, and there’s a reason the coach is giving me the stink eye.”

And I have to find out if I’m going to be a competitive skier next year or a nobody, which just might change the way you think about me.

AS EXPECTED, THE second day of teaching was more trying than the first, not only because several of the kids had more confidence than skills, which meant Rush and Jayla had to be hypervigilant about their safety, but also because Rush could barely think past his conversation with Jayla. She had exposed the elephant in the room—real relationships and competition didn’t mix—and the wind had once again changed, cooling the heat between them. Now Rush stood at the top of the bunny hill with Suzie Baker, thinking about Jayla.

“I really don’t think I can do this.”

Suzie’s voice pulled him back to the more immediate issue, getting her down the hill safely. He tucked away his worry and brought Suzie into focus. Her blond hair stuck out beneath a pink knit cap, which matched her new pink and black parka and her black snow pants. Her mother had bought her all the right clothes. Too bad she hadn’t put as much effort into building her confidence outside of her reliance on gaining the attention of men.

“Suzie, tell me something you feel like you are really good at.”

She wrinkled her nose. “I guess dating doesn’t count?”

Jesus. He knew Jayla should have taken her up, but Jayla had her hands full with a few of the other kids. “A sport, Suzie. Dating’s not a sport.” There was a time he’d have disagreed with that statement. He felt proud knowing he’d changed and knew that only Jayla could have had that sort of impact on him.

She sighed and rolled her eyes. “Swimming.”

“Swimming. Cool sport. That takes strength, confidence, and agility. Okay, and what makes you good at it?”

“I’m fast.” She pushed her hat farther up on her forehead.

He ignored the incessant blinking of her heavily mascaraed lashes.

“Okay, you’re a strong swimmer. Tell me what scares you about this hill.” Rush watched her look down the slope. The color drained from her face, and if she didn’t lose that fear, she’d never make it down on her feet.

“Falling.”

“What happens if you fall?”

She shrugged. “I could break a leg.”

“True. You could, but I highly doubt you will. Look at me a minute.”

She looked at him and smiled.

He waited for her smile to falter, so he knew she was doing more than just trying to get his attention. “I bet you don’t remember what it was like to learn to swim, do you?”

“No, but my mom said I pitched a fit because I thought I’d drown.”

“And did you? Drown, I mean?”

She laughed. “No.”

“This is the same thing. In here”—he pointed to his head—“you think you’re going to fall. But also in here”—he pointed to his head again—“your brain sends messages to your body about what to do to keep from falling. You fell twice, right?”

She nodded.

“Once while learning the wedge and once while walking up the hill sideways, when you lost your balance.”

She nodded again. “But then I did the sideways thing fine the next time.”

“Exactly. When you look down that hill, I want you to remember that when you swim, you don’t drown, and if you feel yourself falling—”

“Center my balance.” She grinned and her eyes widened.

Rush smiled. “That’s exactly right. I knew you were a good listener. When you’re on the slope, I want you to stop thinking about boys, and clothes, and school, and anything else that steals your focus.”

She nodded and drew her brows together.

Rush knew that the instant he saw the confidence in Suzie’s eyes, he had to act on it. Otherwise, she’d have time to talk herself right back into her worries. “Do you remember how I showed you to ski in an S rather than straight down the hill?”

She nodded. “To control my speed.”

“Good, then you’re all set. Remember, faster is not always better.” He pointed to his head. “You control everything, and just like swimming, you’re strong, you’re confident, and I have faith in your skills.”

He skied close by her and was impressed at how she kept her body centered, her arms tucked in, and her chin level, just as she’d been taught.

When she reached the bottom and had to catch herself with one of her poles to keep from toppling over, she faced Rush with wide smile. “Can I go again?”

“You know what you just proved?”

“That maybe I can ski after all?” Suzie looked back up at the bunny hill.

He felt the stare of Suzie’s mother like a laser beam. He’d made an effort not to make eye contact with her after the way she’d leered at him yesterday.

“Can I talk with you a minute?” Suzie’s mother called to him.

Shit
. He held up a finger and answered Suzie. “Yes, that you can ski and that the power of positive thinking can pull you through even the things that you’re most afraid of. All that peripheral stuff slows you down. Focus, Suzie. You can absolutely do it again. I’m proud of you. Join Jayla and the others and I’ll be right there.” He wondered if the power of positive thinking could bring Jayla into his arms—or get rid of Suzie’s mother.

Team practice started in less than an hour, and he had hoped to catch up with Jayla and clear the air beforehand. They both needed clear heads for practice. Dealing with a mother with hunger in her eyes was the last thing he needed. He knew exactly what Ms. Baker was after in her knee-high black boots and tailored coat—instead of the bulky parka she’d worn the day before—and if he wasn’t mistaken, much more makeup than she’d had on yesterday. He cast a quick glance at Jayla, her face free of makeup, a thick hat pulled down low over her ears, and ten times more beautiful than Ms. Baker or any other woman could ever hope to be, because Jayla had a warm heart and good intentions. When she looked up and met his gaze, she smiled—until her eyes shifted to Suzie’s mother, and she quickly turned away.

He could almost hear her thoughts—
See? You haven’t changed—
as if he were up to his old tricks.

Only he had changed.

JAYLA WAS READING a text from Jen
—Any decision yet about RR?—
when Rush joined her after their last workshop was over. She texted back,
Thinking.

Rush pulled off his hat and ran his hand through his hair. “Did you see Suzie?” His cheeks were pink from the cold, and his eyes shone with pride for Suzie’s success.

“Mm-hm.”

He bristled at her cold response, and it sent a wave of guilt through her. She’d been stewing over their conversation all day, trying to dissect it, to make the truth of how relationships and competing didn’t mix come apart. As if that wasn’t enough to make her belly twist and her nerves burn, to then have to watch Suzie’s mother flirting with Rush? She’d watched women flirting with him for years, and she’d never been clutched by jealousy the way she was today.
Our kiss changed everything
. Not to mention the dull ache that decided to set up camp in her shoulder. She had no idea how she’d focus at practice.

Rush took her hand in his. “We have twenty minutes before practice. Let’s go someplace and talk.”

Talking leads to kissing, and kissing got my head scrambled in the first place.
He led her into the lodge. Rush pulled out a chair for her by a small corner table that overlooked the slopes.

“Want me to get you something warm to drink?”

It struck her how considerate Rush was of her. Always.

“Sure.”

“Hot chocolate with mini marshmallows or hazelnut java?”

She smiled up at him. “You choose.” As she watched him walk away, she noticed several other women also watching him. Rush had always been
Rush
to her. He was above all else her confidant and friend, but he was also handsome, funny, kind, and now she could add a
damn good kisser
to that list. But if she pushed away all that she knew of him and saw what the other women did, she wondered what she’d find.

Jayla closed her eyes for a second, then opened them and pretended that she didn’t know that his father was controlling or that his mother evened that out with her soft nature. She tried to forget the tattoos on his upper back and his arm and the scar he’d gotten during camp one summer that ran along the index finger on his right hand. She pushed away the sound of his young voice as he’d whispered urgently to hide so the counselors didn’t catch them out after curfew and the way his heated breath had made her entire body shudder last night. And as he came toward her with two steaming mugs in his hand, she saw a man who looked at her like she was the only woman in the room. He had a kind, handsome face, which, if she were really a stranger, would seem open and welcoming. She dragged her eyes down his body, and a shiver ran through her as she remembered the feel of him against her. Oh yeah, she knew just what the other women were seeing. He was not only damn hot, but as warm and inviting as a summer’s breeze.