Social Skills (6 page)

He
stumbled and was caught three times before Jared apparently lost his patience.

“Dude,
this is going to take forever if you can’t stay on your feet. Come here.” He
scanned the empty streets, then squatted down and dragged Connor around behind
him. “Get on my back.”

“What?
I can’t let you carry me. I’ll…be too heavy or something.”

“I
can pretty much assure you that you won’t.” Jared snorted. “Now climb on
or we’ll never get back.”

Reluctantly,
Connor threw his arms around Jared’s neck and hopped onto his back. Jared stood
with ease and began trotting down the road at a much faster pace than they’d
achieved earlier.

It
was good to be off his feet, but each bouncing step jarred Connor’s skull and
added an up-and-down vertigo to the already-whirling scenery.
Don’t throw up. Just please, don’t throw
up.
He closed his eyes and rested his chin on Jared’s shoulder, hoping the
bad feelings would go away soon.

“We’re
here.” Jared’s voice startled him back to full consciousness outside his dorm. “Gimme
your card.”

Connor
slid off Jared’s back, sure he was headed for a puddle on the ground until
Jared grabbed him firmly around the waist. He smiled with only mild
embarrassment, the usual intensity of the feeling smothered by alcohol-drenched
senses.

“Here.”
He fished out the card and handed it to Jared.

Jared
passed it through the electronic lock and headed inside, dragging Connor in
behind him. “Jesus you’re a lightweight. Guess I shoulda figured that, though.”

“I’m
not tha’little,” Connor slurred, his lip thrust out angrily as Jared pulled him
up the stairs.

Jared
rolled his eyes. “I wasn’t talking about your size. I meant with the drinking. Have
you ever even drunk before?”

“I’ve
tried some beer…and some wine, thank you very much.” Connor frowned, swaying
into the wall. They’d reached the door to his room, and he rooted around in his
pockets to pull out his keys, which he also handed off. He didn’t have the
patience to squint at the lock until it came into focus.

Jared’s
supporting arms left him, and so did Connor’s last remaining will to stand. He
sank down against the wall as Jared opened the door.

“You
gonna get up?” Jared asked.

Connor
thought about it for a moment. It seemed like a good idea, but the floor also
seemed strangely inviting, and it was closer. He folded over and placed his
head on the ground, leaden eyelids drifting closed. “Nope, I don’t think so.”

A second
later, arms slipped under his limp body and he rose off the floor. He opened
his eyes to find himself cradled against Jared’s chest. Wafts of Jared’s
cologne hit him, mixed in with sweat and just a hint of beer, and Connor’s lips
parted to release a sigh. “I like the way you smell,” he mumbled, twisting one
of the buttons on Jared’s shirt.

“Yup.
Lightweight.” Jared shut the door behind them with a backwards kick and set
Connor down on his bed.

Somehow
recharged by Jared’s scent, Connor flopped around on the mattress, taking several
attempts to shuck off his pants.

Jared
stood back and grinned. “I have a feeling you’re gonna regret this in the
morning.”

He
disappeared from view for a few seconds, but returned with a cold bottle of
water from Connor’s mini-fridge. “You’d better drink this.” He pulled Connor
into a sitting position. “I guess I shoulda kept a better eye on you.”

“Hey,
I may be shorter than you, but I…I’m notta kid.” Connor’s lower lip thrust
itself out again. “I don’t need an
eye
kept on me.”

Jared
brushed his thumb over the pouting lip, smiling softly. “Yeah, I know, but I
kinda like the idea of taking care of you. Now drink.”

Connor
obeyed, and the water did seem like a good idea as it trickled down his
suddenly bone-dry throat. It also eased some of the nausea, and when he was
finished he gratefully sank his head into his pillow.

Hovering
between sleep and wakefulness, he felt one of Jared’s fingers trace the
contours of his face, from his jaw line to his cheekbones and down the straight
slope of his nose.

After
a minute, the hand drifted away to arrange the blankets before Jared leaned in
and pecked his lips. “’Night, Connor.”

Chapter Six

Sometime
around dawn, Connor opened his eyes and let out a soft moan. His breath tasted
bitter as it escaped his mouth, his tongue dry and inexplicably hairy-feeling. Adding
in the fierce headache and the rolling queasiness in his stomach, he’d never
felt more miserable.

“Hey.”
Warm hands stroked his forehead. “Sit up and take these.” A water bottle along
with three white pills was thrust into his palm, and he dutifully swallowed the
medicine. He tried to hand off the water after a sip, but it was pushed back. “No,
finish it.”

He
did, and then lay down again to drift into an exhausted sleep.

When
he next awoke, the clock by his side read half past twelve. A slight rustling
from across the room alerted him to Jared, who sat curled up on the empty bed
with a book in his lap.

“What…what
are you doing?” Connor croaked, his voice thick from disuse.

“I
know, me doing my reading for class. Crazy, huh?” Jared chuckled. “You feeling
any better?”

“Um,
I think so.” He tested his theory with a slight shake of his head. “It’s just a
little headache now.”

“That’s
good.”

Connor
rubbed the crust of sleep from his eyes, still confused by his surroundings. “Y-you
stayed? The whole night?”

“I
was afraid you were gonna get sick.” Jared closed the textbook and crossed the
room. “But I slept over there. For a little guy you sure take up a lot of space
when you sleep.”

An
I’m
not little
retort faded from Connor’s mind as he settled on a more
important fact: Jared had spent the night, and it sounded as if he
would
have
slept in the same bed with him had there been room. Without fully realizing
what he was doing, he began scooting back against the wall.

“Oh,
is that for me now?” Jared asked with a knowing grin.

Connor
shrugged and grabbed his pants from where they’d been sloppily discarded the
night before. Jared was fully dressed, and it didn’t seem appropriate for him
to be in only a t-shirt and boxers.

After
waiting patiently for him to do up the button, Jared took the offered space. “This
bed has sheets. Much more comfortable.”

“I…I
coulda slept on the floor,” Connor stammered. “I don’t think I would have known
the difference last night.”

“It
wasn’t that bad. I was only kidding. Although I do think I would have rather
been here, but I didn’t want you to think I was taking advantage of your
drunkenness.”

Connor
snorted and almost choked on his saliva when Jared grabbed him and rolled him
over in one swift move. He suddenly found himself lying directly on top of Jared’s
body, floundering like an oxygen-deprived fish from the unfamiliar contact with
another human being. He conked his forehead against Jared’s before deciding to
scoot down so he could more safely rest on Jared’s chest, and, as an added
benefit, avoid his eyes.

He
was only lying there for about ten seconds before something hard pressed into
his stomach. Alarmed, Connor placed his arms on either side of Jared and lifted
himself up so he could sneak a look to confirm his suspicions.

“Sorry,”
Jared said, his cheeks tinted pink. “I can’t really help it with you squirming
around on top of me like that.”

Connor
sank back onto Jared’s body, his arms going weak while his mind snapped with
sudden strength. “You really like me,” he breathed out slowly.

“You
know, for a smart kid, you can be a little thick sometimes.”

“I’m
not thick,” Connor mumbled.

“All
right, fine. Then you think maybe you might like me, too?” Jared laughed, his
breath warm against Connor’s scalp.

“Um…yeah.”
Connor pressed his lips together to stop himself from adding something stupid,
like
obviously, who in the hell wouldn’t?
“But…what…what does that
mean? I mean, for you…and me…”

“It
means I’d like to be with you.”

“Be
with me? L-like just for today? Or like friends with…with…um…benefits?”

Jared
laughed again. He was really laughing
at
Connor a little too much for comfort. “You’re kinda old-fashioned, aren’t
you? Why don’t we take things as they come? Right now, I just know I’d
like to keep seeing you.”

Connor
said nothing, and Jared’s confident smile faltered as a flash of something
vulnerable slid across his eyes. “That is, if you want, and if you don’t mind
keeping it between us.”

“Um,
what about Veronica?” Connor rolled off Jared and onto his side.

“Remember
when I took her home yesterday? I finally convinced her we needed to take a
break.”

“A…a
break?”

“Yeah,
but everyone knows that’s just a way to save face when you’re breaking up.”

“Oh.”
Connor nodded. He obviously wasn’t
everyone
, but that seemed logical
enough.

“So,
I’m gonna stay friends with her”—Jared leaned in closer and dropped his
voice to a mellow whisper—“but it’s just you and me now, I promise.”

This
time, it was perfectly clear where things were going. Jared’s eyelids were
lowering and his mouth was coming closer, and in a second their lips would
connect.

Connor
shot up from the bed, ignoring Jared’s startled eyes.

“H-hold
on.” He snatched his bathroom caddy and ran all the way to the dorm restrooms, not
bothering to breathe until he was standing safely inside.

A shockingly
pale face met him in the mirror. Before he could analyze his reflection any further,
he deliberately forced his gaze away.

Don’t
think,
he told himself.
Don’t
think.

Thinking
would only screw things up, so instead he grabbed his toothbrush and gave his
teeth the most thorough scrubbing of his life, fighting to rid his mouth of the
stale beer taste. He splashed some water on his skin and relieved himself
before scurrying back to his room.

“Hey,
where’d you go?”

“Sorry…just
had to brush my teeth.” Connor climbed back onto his half of the mattress.

Jared
regarded him with a slow sweep of his eyes. “I hope that means you’re going to
kiss me now.”

Connor
let a dazed nod be his answer, and Jared surged forward to wrap him in his
arms.

But
he didn’t dive into the kiss immediately. He stayed an inch away, watching in a
way that made Connor’s skin burn much like his anxiety attacks did. Only in
this case, the dousing of cold fear that usually followed never came. He simply
burned.

Finally
Jared brushed his lips—more the touch of breath than body. Ticklish waves
passed through Connor’s mouth and hummed all the way to his toes. His arms and
legs tensed, and then his whole body was trembling, the vibrations rising up
like a crescendo and hovering at the climax.

And
God, that was barely even a
kiss.

Jared
didn’t notice the shaking—or if he did, he didn’t seem to mind. He gripped
Connor tighter, punctuating the softer kisses with a much more solid one. His tongue
slipped between Connor’s lips, gliding along his teeth and pressing into his skin.
In fact, every part of Jared was pressing against him, firmly enough to take
the breath from his lungs.

Connor
shifted to relieve the pressure on his chest, and Jared tried to roll him on
top again. The sheets, though, had other ideas. They caught on Connor’s legs, tightening
around his ankles and leaving him in a tangled mess.

Frantic,
he fought to kick his way out of the beige prison and ended up entrapping Jared
as well. Jared started laughing, and the more frenzied Connor’s kicks became,
the harder he laughed, throwing his entire body into it so that he covered
Connor’s as they rolled around in search of freedom.

And
Connor found himself laughing, too, drunk off the warmth and the rocking rhythm
and the pounding of his own heart…although there was a distinct possibility he
was
still a little drunk. He was barely controlling his lower half, struggling
to keep from thrusting against Jared’s hips.

Jared
pulled back, his lips red and swollen, his curls sweaty and plastered to his
forehead. “Connor,” he groaned. “I know I said we could take it slow, and we
can, but…please…I want to touch you. Do you think we could—”

“Yeah,”
Connor said before Jared could even finish his thought, far too aroused to care
how needy or pathetic he sounded.

Jared
didn’t care, either, evidently, because he threw back his head and grinned. “Thank
God.” He yanked off his shirt and tossed it aside forcefully.

Connor
gaped, higher thought suspended by the sight of Jared’s tanned skin, with its
fine dusting of dark hair and deeply-defined muscles. Never in his life had he
been so close to someone so physically stunning.

Then
Jared shifted even closer, and he broke free from his stupor. Of their own
volition, his hands drifted forward, nearly touching Jared. He managed to jerk
them back only at the last possible second.

“This’ll
probably be hard for you,” Jared murmured, leaning in and resting his arm on
Connor’s hip, “but stop thinking so much. This…this feels right to me. Let’s
just do what feels right, okay?”

Swallowing,
Connor lifted an unsteady hand. He
did
want to touch, and Jared was so close now all he had to do was stretch a few
more inches to be doing exactly that…if only he could shut out his fearful mind
long enough.

His
eyes sank into an extended blink, and when he next opened them his palm was
flat against Jared’s chest. After another blink his left hand joined in, and
together they ran in halting strokes down the length of Jared’s body. “Wow,” he
whispered.

“I’ll
tell Coach you appreciate all my hard work.” Jared laughed at Connor’s
mortified blush, then wrapped his fingers around the hem of Connor’s shirt and
tugged upwards.

“Wait,
wait!” The music in Connor’s mind abruptly faded into a dissonant chord.

Jared
stopped, his hands tightening into fists in the fabric. “Why? What is it?”

Connor
pulled free from Jared’s grasp, edging back against the wall. His heart pounded
so fiercely he was having trouble thinking over the sound of rushing blood. “I’m
not…I’m not like you.”

“What?”
Alarm crossed Jared’s face, and he sat up. “What does that mean?”

“I
mean…I don’t look like you.”

Jared
breathed deeply, shaking his head. “Connor.” He let out a long sigh. “I know
that. I’m not trying to make out with myself here. I thought we’d already
established that I
like
you.”

Faced
with Jared’s amazing half-naked body, the only thing Connor could summon to his
lips was a confused, “But
why
?”

Jared
rolled his eyes dramatically and scooped Connor up, despite his further
attempts to meld into the wall. “You have some serious self-esteem issues, you
know that?”

The
words stung, even though there was mostly gentle concern in Jared’s voice. Connor
twisted around to try to hide his head in the pillow, but Jared’s arms stopped
him.

“I
like you, Connor. You’re smart, and funny sometimes, even if you don’t know it…and…and
when you concentrate really hard on something you stick the tip of your tongue
out between your lips…but when you play the violin you look so relaxed and…peaceful…and…”
He trailed off, brows lifting as he waited for a reaction.

All
Connor could do was stare at him, slack-jawed.

“And
you’ve got this whole, I dunno, boy-next-door look going on, with those
cheekbones, and those eyes…” Jared stopped again to chew on his lip, a faint
blush coloring his skin.

Connor
swallowed, his mouth dry from letting it hang open for so long. “B-boy next
door?”

“Shut
up,” Jared grumbled. Setting his jaw defiantly, he tossed Connor over on
the bed and pulled off his shirt.

Connor
stiffened as Jared appraised him, choosing to stare at a spot a few inches
below Jared’s firm pectoral muscles so he could avoid eye contact. He was holding
himself so rigidly that he started to tremble from the effort.

Jared
leaned in to kiss his chest. “Relax.”

Connor
blinked and mistakenly looked up, and what he found in Jared’s eyes was nothing
short of amazing. He couldn’t begin to fathom why, but there certainly
appeared
to be attraction there.

He used
that thought to guide him as they pressed themselves together, chest to chest. Jared’s
hands flitted down his sides, leaving hypersensitive trails along his skin that
had him writhing. He forgot all about his body and its inadequacies for
the next few minutes, until Jared’s hands traveled down to the button of his
pants.

Panicked
again, he jumped back, then cursed inwardly at his cowardice.

“You
all right?” Jared’s lips twitched into a slight frown.

“Yes…yeah,
it’s nothing.” Connor rushed to assure him, wondering if he would die of
embarrassment before the day was over. In all of his fantasies about sexual
exploration with another man, he never imagined he’d be screwing things up
every other second. Although…that really was just par for the course for him.