Social Skills (9 page)

“I
know.” Jared pressed in for a quick kiss. “I would, but now that Veronica and I
split it’d be kinda weird for me to be away all night. Ben’d get curious, and I’d
rather not have to invent a bunch of stories for where I am.”

“Oh.
Yeah. That makes sense.” Connor scoured his comforter for more lint.

“But
hey, I was thinking…” Jared shook his arm to get his attention. “How ’bout I
give you a ride home for break? Manassas is on my way. We could stop and get
lunch at this really great barbecue place. I mean, it’s kind of a
hole-in-the-wall, but I promise the food is awesome. And there’s this shack
nearby where they sell custard ice cream cones…we have to get some of those.”

Little
bits of glee barreled through Connor’s disappointment. It almost sounded like
he was being asked out on a
date
.

“Yeah,
okay. I’d…like that.” And, for the very first time,
he
did the leaning
in, meeting Jared’s lips without hesitation.

***

Humming
the romantic theme from Borodin’s
Polovtsian
Dances
, Connor found his friends for their last lunch together of the
semester.

His
friends, he realized suddenly. Not
just Rebecca’s. Whatever had sparked the change in his mind, he had to believe
it was progress.

“Hey.”
Rebecca used her tongue to suck out a piece of spinach from between her teeth. “I
forgot to ask, do you need a ride home for break? I think you’re only about a
half hour away from me, so it wouldn’t be a problem.”

“Oh,
thanks, but not this time.” Connor took his seat by her side, grinning at his
macaroni and cheese. He almost regretted having to turn her down…almost. “Jared
said he’d drop me off. I guess I’m on the way home for him.”

“Jared?
The football star?” A.J. asked, leaning in on his elbows.

Jared
wasn’t really a star yet, but that didn’t seem worth sharing, so Connor just
smiled.

Tate
tugged on Rebecca’s ponytail as he joined the conversation. “Wow, I’m surprised
you still eat with us lowly peons, now that you’re best friends with athletic
royalty.”

Connor
glanced up, his good mood undiminished, and a boldness took hold of his tongue.
“Yeah, well…I thought maybe some of my newfound coolness would rub off on you.”

Tate
choked on his chocolate milk. Clearly, he hadn’t expected a comeback from the
heretofore mostly-silent Connor. He chuckled after recovering and rolled his
eyes.

Rebecca
shot Connor a surprised but pleased smile, and he had to bite back his own
proud smirk. Maybe he wasn’t exactly ready to write the book
How to
Succeed at Social Interaction Without Actually Trying,
but there was no
denying things were getting better every day.

***

“Connor.”

Jared’s
voice sounded different. Connor was just growing accustomed to the way the static
from the airwaves added a gentle rasp to Jared’s low, resonant tone, but today
there was no playful lilt to it. Jared’s voice was flat and weary.

“Listen,
I need to give Ronnie a ride home. She hasn’t been doing so well…missing a lot
of classes and stuff. I guess maybe the college thing is too much for her or
something. But anyway, her parents are really pissed and she doesn’t want to
ride with them, so…”

He
trailed off while Connor sank onto his bed, jealousy and disappointment
battling for their spot at the top of his emotional response.

“I
mean, I can still give you a ride if you want, but it’ll be…different. You
know.”

“Yeah.”
Connor frowned and rubbed at the resulting crease on his forehead. “Um, I think
I’ll just get Rebecca to give me a ride then.”

“I’m
really sorry. We’re gonna leave now, so I won’t be able to say goodbye…but you’ll
call me, right?”

“Um,
okay.”

“Promise?”

“Yeah.”

“I
gotta run, she’s just in the bathroom. Talk to you later.”

Jared
hung up, and Connor stared wistfully at the phone, wishing there were some way
to erase the last few seconds and the unfortunate news it had brought him.

But
maybe this kind of thing was just the price he’d have to pay for someone like
Jared.

Chapter Nine

“So
then Rick totally likes you!” Melissa squealed from the kitchen. Having been
denied a cell phone for the tenth time that evening, her chosen act of
rebellion was to carry on talking with her friends where she could be of
maximum annoyance.

Connor
sat on the floor at the base of the couch, biding the time he had left of
forced socialization with his parents. If he could just make it through the
half-hour of Jeopardy, they’d be less likely to bother him the rest of the
night.

“Who
is Pontius Pilate!” his father yelled at the T.V. screen.

“I
knew that one. I was going to say that, too,” his mother put in.

At
least they couldn’t see him rolling his eyes from where he sat.

A
commercial break gave his mother a chance to redirect her attention. “Connor, I
was thinking, you should use this vacation time to go with your father and
visit nearby law schools, just to get a feel for the campuses. Doesn’t that
sound like a good idea?”

“Mhm.”

“Connor!
Are you listening?”

“Yes,
Mom. Sure.”

“Will
you be doing tutoring again next semester?”

Connor
shifted, fingers restlessly scratching at the worn carpet. “I’m…I’m not sure
yet.”

“Well,
I think you should. You enjoyed it, didn’t you?”

A
small chuckle escaped him. “Yeah, I did. Actually, I was thinking maybe I could
look into taking some education courses next year to see if—”

“That’s
nice, dear. It’s an excellent activity to put on your applications for law school.
Especially for UVA Law.”

“Mom,
I—”

“What
is curium!” his father bellowed.

“Oh!
I knew that!” she exclaimed, turning back to slap his arm.

Melissa’s
voice rang out over them as she bounced through the foyer. “Maybe Danny will
ask me to the dance and we can go together!”

“Honey,
please keep it down, we’re trying to watch here. Connor, why aren’t you
guessing any?”

Connor
snapped his mouth shut, folding his arms across his chest. Being home was
frustrating, stressful, and sometimes even demeaning, but above all, it was
lonely.

So
why was it he was putting off the one thing that might be able to offer him
some relief? A week had gone by, and he still hadn’t worked up the courage to
call Jared. Instead he sat home alone, or worse, home with his family, seething
at the ill-timed vacations of his school calendar.

Perhaps
he hadn’t called because he was still disappointed about their cancelled drive.
Or maybe it was just that calling Jared now, while they were away from school,
made what they were doing seem much more like a
relationship
than ever
before.

Except…that
should’ve been exactly what he wanted.

His
mother startled him by throwing her arms out in triumph. “Marie Antoinette! Ah
ha, I got that one!”

“You
have to answer in the form of a question,” his father responded calmly.

“I
still knew the answer!”

Connor
sprang up from the floor. “Mom, can I go to my room? I’d like to check the
online course catalog again to see if anything new has been posted for next
semester.”

She
sighed. “But you’ll miss final jeopardy.”

He
couldn’t bring himself to respond to that one, so he just waited with one foot
already planted in the hallway outside the family room.

“Fine,
Connor. Just make sure you’re keeping pre-law courses in mind. It’s never too
early to start preparation.”

He
ran to his room and shut the door with a thud, ignoring his mother’s harried
yell requesting he not slam things that didn’t belong to him.

“Hey,
you,” Jared answered on the second ring.

At
those simple words—back in Jared’s usual tone—Connor blushed, but
not in the bad way he was so used to.

He collapsed
onto his bed in relief, almost positive he’d made the right decision. “Hey…I…I
hope it’s okay to call right now.”

“Of
course it is. I actually thought you woulda called sooner, but I figured you
must’ve been busy.”

“No.
I mean, yeah, a little.”

“Well,
I’m glad you called now. It’s funny, but I…I really miss you.”

Connor
couldn’t help but giggle. “You seem about as surprised at that as I am.”

“Shut
up,” Jared grumbled. “It’s just, I never really used to miss any of my
girlfriends when they weren’t around…but I shoulda known it’d be different with
you.”

Connor
lay back and put a hand on his chest, wishing it were Jared’s. “Maybe that’s
because you’re gay.”

He
hadn’t meant to be funny, but Jared laughed anyway. “I guess, huh. I always
hoped I’d find someone in college. Just never thought it’d happen so fast. I’m
glad, though. Glad I didn’t have to wait too long.”

“Um…I’m
glad you didn’t have to wait so long either.”

Jared
let out a sound somewhere between a sigh and a groan. “Man, three more weeks. I
mean, I love my family and all, but…I
really
miss you. Wish I wasn’t
all the way up at my Uncle’s place in Jersey now, or I’d try to come see you.”

“I
miss you too.” Connor grinned so hard his cheeks started to hurt.

“Well,
I guess I went eighteen years without kissing a guy, so what’s three more
weeks?”

“Yeah…but
wasn’t that before you knew what you were missing?”

“What’s
this?” Jared’s tone rose with feigned shock. “Is my little Connor done eating
humble pie?”

“I’m
not little,” Connor retorted at the same time his insides turned to jelly. Jared
had just referred to him as
his.

“Not
where it counts.”

The
bedroom door suddenly flew open, sending Connor scrambling back in a vain
attempt to remain hidden among the pillows and comforter.

“Hey,
doofus.” Melissa watched his antics with her hands on her hips. “Mom wants to
know if you’ll come down and practice that concerto with me, because the
Mitchells are coming over tomorrow and they’re bringing their kids, so we’re
the entertainment.”

“Get
out!” Connor pulled a pillow onto his lap, hiding the erection he’d been
growing from the sound of Jared’s voice. “Can’t you see I’m busy?”

Melissa
eyed the cell phone cupped against his chest. “What, you’re talking on the
phone to a friend? Wow, I guess wonders will never cease.”

“Melissa,
if you don’t get out I’m going to…”

“All
right, all right.” She backed up slowly. “I’ll tell Mom we’ll practice it
tomorrow, ’cause you know there’s no way you’re getting out of this one.”

“That’s
fine.” Connor sighed. “I’ll do it, whatever. Just…I’m busy right now, okay?”

“Okay.”
She grinned mischievously. “I’ll leave you to your obviously very important
friend
.”

As
soon as she’d shut the door, Connor unfolded and brought the phone back up to his
ear. “Are you still there? I’m really sorry.”

“Melissa,
huh?” Jared’s throaty chuckle put him at ease. “I take it she’s the younger
sister.”

“Yeah,
she’s just hitting those really annoying teenage years. Sorry about that.”

“No
worries. I have two younger brothers, so I know how it is.”

Connor
relaxed his body the rest of the way and took up his earlier position, staring
at the ceiling. “Are they a lot like you?”

Jared
laughed affectionately. “I guess they are. They’re really into football…although
I’m starting to think they’re gonna be way better than I am when they grow up.”

Connor
frowned. Emboldened by their physical distance, he opened his mouth without
thinking. “Why do you always do that?”

“Do
what?”

“I
dunno. Call yourself mediocre. And…and when Michael used to come to tutoring,
you’d let him tell you he’s so much better than you, that you’d never get to
play in any games…”

“I’m
not
as good as Michael, not by a long-shot, even though we play
different positions. I guess I was good in my little fishbowl of a high school,
but not at the college level. I’m fourth string, Connor.”

“Fourth
string?” The only strings Connor knew anything about were the ones used to tie
things, and the ones on musical instruments.

“It
means I’m not that great. Means I’m mostly used so that the real players have
someone to practice against.”

“Oh.”

“Sometimes
I think about throwing in the towel, you know?” Jared’s sigh crackled through
the line. “Concentrating more on my studies…on figuring out what I want to do
with my life…but my dad played at UVA when he was in college, and he always
really loved following the college teams. I guess it’s just important to me
that I…”

He
fell silent, and Connor pulled the phone back from his ear to check if he’d
lost the connection. He hadn’t.

“I
guess it’s kinda weird I haven’t told you yet,” Jared continued after the
pause.

“Told
me?”

“That…that
my dad passed away. He died last year, right before graduation.”

“Oh,”
Connor breathed out slowly, wishing more than ever that Jared were beside him so
he could offer more than stupid verbal condolences. “I’m so sorry. Was he…sick?”

“Yeah,
for a while. Cancer. It sucked, but in a way I guess it was also good, because
we had time to adjust, you know? He always used to say God gave him that time
to groom me for my takeover as man of the house.”

A
short burst of static could’ve been either a sad chuckle or a pained sigh. Connor
balled his useless hands into fists around his comforter. “I’m sure you’re
living up to his expectations.”

“I
guess. Football was important to him, and even though I’m never gonna go pro,
it’s important to me that I keep his memory alive this way. You think that’s
stupid?”

“No.”
Connor shook his head, even though no one was there to see it. “I think…I think
if it’s something you love, you should give it all you’ve got.”

“Thanks,
Connor.” Jared’s voice dropped close to a whisper. “I don’t really tell many
people that. Or any.”

A
few moments of silence passed while Connor pondered whether to change the
subject or take the opening he’d been given. Sharing personal information
wasn’t something
he
was prone to…but
then again, if he’d ever had someone around to truly listen, there were one or
two things that would’ve been good to get off his chest.

“It
must have been hard, losing your dad your senior year,” he finally said, and then
wanted to kick himself. Of course it was hard.

This
time Jared’s sigh was long and drawn out, like he was reluctant to speak. “It’ll
probably sound stupid…but I think one of the worst parts was all my friends.”

“What
do you mean?”

“You
know how you asked if I’ve always had a big group of friends? Well, I have. It’s
just that…they expected me to be the same guy, you know? The life of the party,
the star athlete, the lady’s man…I guess part of it’s my fault for always
playing into that, but to be honest with you, I would have traded the whole
crowd for just one good friend. Just one person I could chill with and not have
to
be
anybody for. Things were tough enough after I realized I was
gay, but when everything happened with my dad…between that and having to be
there for my mom and my little brothers…it was fucking exhausting.”

“I
can only imagine,” Connor murmured. A trite response, but true enough. He’d
never come anywhere near to being in Jared’s shoes. “It sounds sorta like you
were there for everyone, but no one was there for you.”

Jared
let out his breath in a quick puff. “Don’t get me wrong. I’m really glad I
could be there—
can
be there—for my family. And, well,
friends can be a good distraction sometimes. I shouldn’t really whine about it.”
He inhaled sharply. “Anyways, I feel like I’m dragging us down here. I’m sure
you didn’t call to listen to me complain.”

“I
don’t mind. You can complain to me whenever you want.”

Another
rush of air sounded against Connor’s ear. “You’re a good guy, Connor. I…I wish
you were here.”

“Me
too.”

After
a few seconds of heavy breathing, Jared cleared his throat. “Well”—a
reluctant note crept into his tone—“my aunt and uncle want us to have a
family game night, so I guess I’d better get going.”

“Oh,
okay.” Connor pinched a chunk of skin on his forearm to keep the disappointment
from his voice. “Guess I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

“Guess?
It should be more than a guess.”

“Okay,
I
will
call you tomorrow. Or, you know, you could call me. Either way.
I…I just like to hear your voice.”

Like to hear your voice?
Conner punished his mouth for releasing the saccharin
comment with a swift bite to his tongue.