Sold To The Alphas: A BBW Paranormal Romance (19 page)

I felt this way simply because I knew I could never live a happy, fulfilling life in a new village near Ashcrest while knowing that the move from Shadowfen had left people unprotected.

This wasn't to say that I judged Flora for her thinking; I didn't at all. I felt like a pack move was one of those instances where everyone in the village would have to think for themselves, and no one's thinking or decision could be "wrong." Flora and Grayson wanting a life of more safety and less danger wasn't wrong, but Chase wanting to remain in Shadowfen, duty-bound to the people in the surrounding villages and towns, certainly wasn't wrong, either.

In fact, while I still saw both him and Grayson as heroic and selfless, his stance had maybe elevated his level of heroism and selflessness just a bit in my mind.

Though, regardless of what I thought about the whole situation, I knew it didn't even matter. None of it even directly concerned me. Or, it didn't until a week or so later, when Chase and Grayson began trying to kill each other out in the lane.

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

During the previous week or so, I hadn't seen Chase and Grayson very much. We'd had a few dinners together, and a few sessions with the new “pleasure swing” each one of them so enjoyable that I still could not bring myself to tell them about my deception, to my increasing shame and self-loathing. I was coming to think of myself as the most selfish, cowardly person in the world.

On this particular day, a sunny, warm day in May, it had been a solid twenty-four hours since I'd seen Chase and Grayson. They'd been having problems with a small but very fierce pack of enemy wolves passing through the area, and they'd been working long hours dealing with the situation, doing surveillance, running patrols, and finally, as they'd done the previous night, attacking and killing the enemy wolf pack.

When Grayson texted that they were heading back to the village, I gasped with joy. I was more than eager to see them. However, at the same time, my joy was mingled with a sense of profound dread. That morning, I'd given myself yet another deadline to tell them about my deception. I'd given myself a time limit of forty-eight hours from the time I saw them. If I couldn't muster the courage to do it in that time, I was going to leave a note, then drive one of their trucks back to Greenleaf, a cowardly move, I was sure. But, as I'd come to believe, I
was
a coward. I'd proven that.

Now it was time. Time to reveal everything. My deception, my motives, everything. Chase and Grayson had spent enough time trying to get an infertile woman pregnant. They'd spent enough time thinking that one of them would soon be blessed with a child. They deserved better. They deserved the truth, followed by a new woman, a fertile woman, to take my place.

The thought broke my heart, to put it mildly. I developed an actual physical ache in my chest whenever I thought about the two of them making love to another woman. However, I realized, a broken heart was no more than I deserved. After all, I was going to be breaking Chase and Grayson's hearts, myself.

I was going to allow myself a goodbye of sorts, though Chase and Grayson wouldn't know it. I planned on spending a few hours alone with them, hopefully making love to them, once they returned to the village. After that, while the forty-eight hour countdown ticked away, I'd begin mustering the courage I was going to need.

However, Chase and Grayson threw a wrench in my plans by not exactly arriving home in the manner I'd expected them to. They didn't come home in human form and let themselves into my cabin, like they usually did. Instead, they tumbled into town in wolf form, engaged in some sort of a brawl.

At first, when I heard snarling punctuated by howls of pain outside my cabin, I thought the village was being attacked again. I slammed all windows shut and locked them, then raced over to the door and locked it as well. Then, I peered out the decorative glass panel near the top of the door, stunned at what I saw.

Chase and Grayson, both massive in their wolf forms, were rolling out in the middle of the lane, stirring up dust, slashing at each other with their razor-sharp claws. Even though they were fighting so fast and furiously they were almost a blur, I was familiar enough with the appearance of their shifter forms at this point to know it was them, without a doubt.

Around them, some distance away in the grass bordering the lane, several of their men stood, a few of them in wolf form and a few in human form. The men glanced at each other with anxious expressions, appearing like they had no clue what to do.

Pack members were never, ever to go against an alpha, whether verbally or physically, or stop an alpha from doing anything, and I knew the men were wondering if this rule extended to letting their alphas kill each other.

While the pack members might have felt hesitant about stopping the fight, and understandably so, I sure didn't. After flinging open the front door, I charged out of the cabin and across the porch, unconsciously rolling up the sleeves of my long-sleeved

t-shirt, as if I were going to join in the fight myself. I was just about mad enough at Chase and Grayson to do just that.

Striding down the walkway that led from the porch to the lane, I cupped my hands around my mouth. "Hey! Enough!"

I'd managed to attract the attention of the pack members, but Chase and Grayson continued rolling around in the dirt, snapping at each other with their mighty jaws, as if they hadn't heard me at all.

Coming to a stop on the side of the lane, I tried again, cupping my hands around my mouth. "I said enough! Both of you! Stop it!"

If they heard me this time, they ignored me, so I tried one final time, yelling as loudly as I could to be heard over their snarls.

"Chase and Grayson! Stop it! Stop it this second or I'm going to jump between the two of you!"

I fully intended to follow through on my threat. I didn't even care if I got hurt. Mad as I was at both of them for fighting, I wasn't about to let the two of them kill each other. Even if that meant I'd be getting my own face slashed up to break them up.

Fortunately,  it didn't come to that. Immediately after the third time I'd shouted, the two of them froze in their fighting, Chase above Grayson with one enormous furry paw held aloft in mid-slash.

"Now the two of you separate! Right now!"

They immediately did and backed away from each other a few feet, though they didn't shift back into human form. Their truce lasted all of about a second. Grayson suddenly charged Chase, snarling, and knocked him onto his back, seemingly enraged.

Becoming a bit enraged myself, I began stomping over to them. "Goddammit, I said stop! Right this second! I'll jump between the two of you if I have to!"

Grayson, who'd lifted a paw to take a swipe at Chase, hesitated, and I used the opportunity to dash over and began pulling on the fur on his back.

"That's enough! Separate!"

I gave Grayson's fur a mighty yank, and he slowly took a step backward, releasing Chase, with a low snarl. Chase flipped himself from his back to his feet, and I quickly jumped between the two of them.

"Now shift into your human forms! Now!"

After a long moment or two of hesitation, they both did, one right after the other.

Glancing between them, I stuck a hand on each of their chests, as if I could actually stop them from going at it again in human form if they really wanted to. "I don't care what the hell the two of you are fighting about, you're both acting like children. If you start back up again, I promise I'll join the fray myself to stop you. I don't even care of I get hurt or killed in the process."

I paused to catch my breath, and Grayson immediately spoke.

"He'd have you be killed anyway, Rowan. He'd have you stay here with him in Shadowfen, right in the midst of constant danger, where you'll ventually be hurt or killed.”

"That's a lie!"

Chase had roared his words, startling me and making me jump.

He continued on in a low, menacing tone, glaring at Grayson. "That's a damned lie, and you know it. I'll never allow her to be hurt. Not here in Shadowfen, and not anywhere. I'll protect her always."

Grayson returned Chase's glare. "Oh, I believe you'd try, but you can't guarantee that here."

Chase scoffed. "Same as you couldn't guarantee that, if you were to take her to set up a new village near Ashcrest. Neither of us can see into the future, Grayson. Danger can be anywhere. And maybe the threat of tragedy would even be highest in a place where danger wouldn't be regularly expected.

“Here, at least we're always on guard. Here, at least our lives mean something. We're protectors, remember? We're men of honor. We're supposed to be, anyway. That's what makes us different from the other wolves. Though I think some of us have forgotten that."

Grayson scowled at Chase briefly before doing some wild lunge around me to get to him.

Without even taking my hand off Chase's hard chest, I used my other hand to push against Grayson's chest with all my might. "No!"

Grayson stepped back, still scowling. "It's fine, Rowan. He's not worth my time to take out anyway. Soon you'll realize he doesn't have your best interests at heart. Soon you'll realize that I'm right to want to move the pack to a place of safety."

Chase snorted. "A place of safety, or a place of cowardice?"

Instantly guessing what Grayson's reaction to this comment would be, I pushed on his chest again. "Don't you dare. Not one single move."

Looking above my head to Chase's face, Grayson folded his arms across his chest, glowering. "You call wanting to protect the woman I love cowardice, Chase? That's fine. You can call it whatever you want. Rowan will soon realize that your brand of bravery is more like recklessness and lack of concern for her safety. It's as if you don't truly love her at all."

I glanced at Chase, ready for things to escalate, just then noticing that the pack members were still standing around, many of them with eyes widened, clearly enjoying the spectacle of their two alphas fighting.

Irritated that they hadn't had the decency to quietly disperse, I addressed them all. "All of you, move along! Give us some privacy...please!"

They all immediately did, jumping-to and striding down the lane to their cabins, some of them in human form and some still in wolf form.

I turned my attention back to Grayson and Chase, glancing between the two of them and finally daring to take my hands from their chests. "So, I take it your little cease-fire about this issue has ended. Fine. If you want to further discuss it, you're going to do it like grown men, not children. No fighting. Is that clear?"

They both dipped their heads in the most marginal of nods, and I continued.

"Good. Now, anything further either of you has to say, please say it civilly."

With his dark hair glinting in the sun, Grayson turned his gaze from Chase to me, his scowl softening. "All I have left to say is that this will never stop, Rowan. These wolf attacks. They'll never, ever stop as long as you live here in Shadowfen."

Chase snorted, folding his arms across his chest, mirroring Grayson's pose. "To an extent, maybe that's true. I'm sure there will always be wolf packs coming through these parts looking for trouble. But it won't always be how it's been the past month or two. We've taken out the Bloodfurs and two other packs recently.

“Our scouts say the area is now clear. We might have peace for a time. And in the long-term, as our pack continues to keep the area safe, and as we take out more packs one at a time, I expect that the times of peace will start to become more frequent than the times of trouble. There
will
be more times of stability as we continue to protect the people who live in this area. Though, if we were to withdraw now, many people would die, and you know this, Grayson."

Grayson narrowed his stormy gray eyes at Chase. "My primary concern is Rowan and her safety."

"As is mine. Though, it's also a concern of mine to remain a man of honor, worthy of her love. Do you even know the meaning of the word
honor
?"

Grayson glared at Chase, the faintest of growls rumbling in his chest, a menacing sound completely at odds with the sound of birdsong coming from the tall trees all around us. I could sense another fight coming on, despite what I'd said, and I wasn't about to let that happen. I loved the two men standing beside me, and obviously, I didn't want either of them to be hurt. Especially when what they were fighting about, as it pertained to me, was completely pointless. It was time to put a stop to things.

I glanced between the two men I loved, taking a deep breath. "Enough. This is all completely pointless. And it's time I told you both why."

*

I was ready. It was time. I wasn't going to get a last couple of hours with Grayson and Chase, let alone forty-eight hours, but that was fine. Considering how long I'd kept my infertility a secret from them, I didn't deserve even another minute with them. I knew it. Now my deception had even made them physically fight. I couldn't stand it.