“The love nest,” Jason announced, pausing to stare. William did the same. The décor was dark, from the walls to the floor, but the gloom was chased away by candles covering every surface. On a nearby dresser sat a bottle in ice.
“Think the champagne is for us?” he asked.
Jason didn’t seem to hear him. He was too busy shutting the bathroom door, sealing away artificial light. After locking it, he turned around, pressing his back against it while wide-eyed.
“An hour,” William said, understanding. “All for us.”
Jason continued to stare. “What do you want to do?”
He nearly laughed. Was he seriously nervous? The guy who wouldn’t take no for an answer? William reached for him and squeezed. Jason hugged back, some of the tension leaving his body as they breathed together in silence. He didn’t want to rush. He wanted to spend the entire night here. They would open the bottle, get a little tipsy while talking, and then they’d let their bodies take over. Afterwards they would hold each other, talking again until morning. That’s what Jason deserved. Not this ridiculous deception.
“I’m sorry,” William said, taking a step back. “We shouldn’t have to resort to this. You’re too good to have to sneak around. You deserve better.”
Jason squared his jaw. “You deserve better than Kelly.”
“I ruined his life,” William said. “I took his leg and ruined his dream. He’s the one who deserves better. I know I’m not the right guy for him, but until that person comes along, he’s not going to be lonely. At least not until I join the Coast Guard, but I have to. It’s the only way I can make up for it.”
“For what?” Jason asked, not hiding his frustration.
“I ruined one life, but maybe if I save another, it’ll kind of equal out. You know?”
Jason swallowed. “I wish you wouldn’t be so hard on yourself. And you’re right that Kelly deserves to find someone who loves him, but if you’re going to be out of his life eventually… Why not now?”
Could he explain it well enough to make him understand? “My parents are divorced. I hardly see my dad anymore, but I’ll never forget what he put my mom through by leaving. I don’t want to be that guy, so I’m hoping Kelly will leave me. I keep pushing for us to go to the youth group, hoping he’ll meet someone. That way I won’t have to break my promise.” A promise to stay with him, not to be faithful. He could spin it a million different ways, but the bottom line was that William was finished with talking.
He unclipped his bow tie and set it on the dresser. Jason remained motionless so William helped him remove his bow tie too, stepping into his personal space to do so. Jason’s eyes were searching his. He still seemed worried, so William smiled reassuringly and got to his knees. He worked Jason’s shoes loose, then sat to take off his own. He casually let his eyes dart to the crotch directly in front of him, checking to see if the bulge there was getting bigger. William swore that if he didn’t get out of his own pants, his cock would rip a hole right through the front.
He stood, placing a hand on his belt. “At the same time?”
“Sure,” Jason said, eyes even wider now.
William took his time, tugging the leather strap from the metal buckle and yanking on it playfully before letting it slip loose. Jason was scrambling to get his open, so William decided to pick up the pace. After unbuttoning and unzipping, he pulled it all down, his cock flexing in the open air. Jason did the same. Beneath the tangle of brown pubic hair, his cock and balls were both hanging loose.
“You’re not hard,” William said. “Are you sure you’re really gay?”
“Shut up,” Jason said, face turning red. “I’m a little nervous.”
William kicked off his pants. “We’ve spent weeks around each other in nothing but swimwear, and you’re nervous about the last skimpy piece of clothing being gone?”
“I wish we had more time,” Jason mumbled. “I want to spend the entire night with you, but the clock is ticking, and there’s so much pressure.”
“There isn’t any pressure,” William said, offering his hand.
Jason accepted it. William walked with him to the bed, then crawled in first because the frame was huge. They practically needed a ladder. They didn’t need the blankets though, since the room was toasty warm. William stretched out on his back, then pulled Jason on top of him.
“Lay on me,” William said. “All of your weight.”
Jason complied, their legs brushing, chests and stomachs pressing together. Wrapped in each other’s arms, they kissed and murmured gentle words. William felt comfortable. The first few times with Kelly had been good, but he’d been so self-aware and overwhelmed by everything he had wanted to do. With Jason, he felt like they had skipped past those early fumblings and had done this a thousand times already. The smell of Jason’s skin as William’s nose nuzzled against his neck, the curls of brown hair around his ears, even the reassuring beat of his heart—all this felt familiar despite it being their first time. Judging from what was pressed against his hip, Jason was feeling more comfortable too.
“Not so nervous now,” William joked. Then he flexed his muscles and rolled so Jason was on his back. William slid off him, moving a hand over that chest, enjoying being able to touch what he had stared at so many mornings in the pool. Jason’s body was so different from his own, the ribs more pronounced, the muscles still untrained, but the contrast drove him wild. William and Kelly were different too, but they were both athletes. Jason felt rawer, less trimmed and shaved. William wanted to tickle the dark armpit hair, trace his tongue down the treasure trail running from his belly button down to—
He shifted his attention, seeing Jason’s cock hard for the first time. He wasn’t disappointed. William was bigger, but that didn’t matter to him. He liked the way it curved upward, a drop of precome calling to him like dew for a hummingbird. He scooted down, darting his tongue into the slit, listening to Jason hiss with surprise and moan as William went down on him. Then Jason started laughing.
“Hey!” William complained after freeing his mouth. “This is serious stuff!”
“Totally,” Jason said before cracking up again.
William hopped to his knees. “I see there’s only one way to shut you up.”
“Oh yeah?” Jason pushed himself up on his elbows, the grin sliding off his face when William straddled his chest. He stared with rapt attention as William brought his cock near, waving it tantalizingly back and forth. Jason seemed mesmerized, looking up with shining eyes.
“That’s got to be the most beautiful dick I’ve ever seen,” he said.
William smirked, then his eyes rolled back when Jason took him in his mouth. He felt like he could come right then and there, but he managed some control as he started thrusting, changing the speed and angle to make sure he wasn’t pushed over the edge. Jason’s blue eyes were trained upward, watering when William went too deep, but he couldn’t help himself. It felt too good. He arched his back, groping behind himself to find Jason’s dick and pumping it to the same rhythm. Just when William was about to shoot, he pulled out and stooped so they could kiss, swatting away Jason’s hand to make sure this wouldn’t end too soon. William wanted to go down on him again, but Jason grabbed his arm when he tried to pull away.
“Keep kissing me,” he said.
“But how—” William noticed a bottle of lube and had an idea. He grabbed it and squirted some on Jason’s dick, sliding his hand up and down a few times before shifting downward so their hips were lined up and their cocks pressed together. William stroked them, Jason placing a hand over his to help. As William started moving his hips, adding extra motion, he remembered Jason’s request and started kissing him again. He never wanted this to end. The sex was great and all, but it was the freedom he reveled in—that he was finally able to be with Jason. They still had so much to learn about each other, and after tonight, they would return to fighting for any scrap of privacy they could get, but William would never give up because this was the real deal. He was in love.
William pulled back, tempted to speak this revelation aloud.
“You okay?” Jason asked.
“Yeah,” William said, the physical reasserting itself. He was on the verge. “Great. Are you close?”
“I was getting there,” Jason said.
“Sorry,” William started pumping again, loosening his grip to buy himself time. He placed his forehead against Jason’s. Their eyes locked, short breaths puffing against each other. Jason gave him that doe-eyed expression again and bit his bottom lip, looking too adorable. William couldn’t hold back anymore. He felt like he’d go crazy from the effort, so he stopped holding back, kissing Jason while he came, his mind humming with pleasure. He kept his arm pumping, Jason growling a second later, shooting all over his stomach.
Drained of strength, William collapsed onto to him, his breathing ragged. Worried he was crushing Jason, he rolled off to one side. Once he had caught his breath, he propped himself up on an elbow. He let a fingertip wander aimlessly over Jason’s body, ending up at his bellybutton, which was full with the mess they had made.
“Like a little hot tub,” William said.
“Ew,” Jason replied. “How can sex be so appealing one second and so totally gross the next?”
“It’s not gross,” William said, laughing happily. “We better get cleaned up. It’ll be obvious if we return to the party all sweaty.”
“I guess so.” Jason sighed, his expression still longing. “How much time do we have?”
William groped around on the dresser where he remembered seeing a small clock. “We’ve got about twenty minutes,” he reported. “Plenty of time. Come on.”
He went to the shower first, getting it to the right temperature. As soon as he stepped in, Jason was behind him, grabbing for the body soap.
“Let me wash you,” he said.
“Be my guest.” William turned around and raised his arms, laughing as Jason sudsed him up.
“Why do you shave everything?”
“Swimmer,” William reminded him.
“Yeah, but everything?” Jason moved his hand downward. “Does being smooth down here really make you faster?”
“It makes it easier getting a tight suit on, and it’s more hygienic for the pool. I want my skin slick like a seal so I can glide through the water. You don’t seem to mind. When is that thing going to go down? First you couldn’t get it up—”
“Hey!” Jason scowled. “I don’t have any trouble with that!”
“You will if you walk into the ballroom with a perma-boner!”
“It’s bound to increase donations,” Jason said. “Wanna wash it for me?”
“Gladly.” William squirted soap on him, rubbing his body with one hand, pumping with the other. If they had more time, he was certain they could manage another round. Checking the clock after leaving the shower helped them regain their focus. They hurried to dress, looking each other over for any telltale signs, Jason patting his hair dry like mad. They paused in the doorway before leaving the room, both of them somber.
“I hope Marcello doesn’t take a black light to that comforter,” William said.
Jason shrugged. “Probably the first thing he’ll do. You ready?”
William nodded. They walked down the hall together, Jason remembering the way. He almost wished they would get lost and be forced wander the halls together for the rest of their lives. After so much build-up and anticipation, the night should have been nowhere near his expectations. Instead it had exceeded them. William’s insides still sizzled with raw emotion.
Jason took his hand as they neared the kitchen. “Do you regret it?”
William shook his head. “I just forgot what sex feels like when it’s with someone you love.” He saw the waiters heading for the doors and shook his hand free, using it to gently guide Jason forward. “Come on. We’re running late.”
The breath felt short in his lungs, his heart against the idea of going back to the way things were. The situation had seemed so impossible just earlier today, but now that he understood how he really felt… “This is the last time.”
Jason spun around to face him, misunderstanding. “Why?”
“Because you deserve better,” William said. “The next time we’re together, we won’t be sneaking around. I’ll figure something out. Okay?”
Jason nodded, looking misty-eyed, but they didn’t have time for that now. William grabbed a tray of sandwiches and entered the ballroom, heading to where he’d last seen Kelly. If he got away with tonight, he would end their relationship. That he promised himself. Hurt feelings were inevitable, but the damage would be worse if he and Jason were caught in the act. Hormones and emotions had driven William off the path temporarily, but only because he hadn’t allowed himself to be honest. He prayed for a chance to correct that on his own terms.
Kelly’s table was empty, making William’s stomach sink. He knew. Of course he did! Kelly was smart. Even if he didn’t realize they would be allowed free access to Marcello’s private rooms, surely he would imagine William and Jason in one corner of the kitchen. Unchaperoned. A hand reached for a sandwich, but William didn’t stop long enough for the guest to take it. He kept walking, ending up at the very back of the ballroom. Then he turned and saw a familiar outline.
“There you are!” William said, walking around the table to face Kelly. He seemed relaxed, swirling a glass in one hand. Was he drunk? “Is that wine?”