Something Like Rain (Something Like... Book 8) (54 page)

Jason nodded. “Yeah. It’s him.”

“Knowing that makes it easier,” William said. “And harder.”

“What do you mean?”

He could vividly imagine, due to firsthand experience, Jason and Caesar sleeping together. The pain this caused was overwhelming, and proved he hadn’t practiced what he’d been preaching. He hadn’t moved on, and he wouldn’t be able to resist finding excuses to see Jason. Not while he was so near. “I’m thinking of leaving Austin.”

“What?” Jason stood up, turning to face him. “Why would you even say that?”

“I need to figure out what I want to do with my life. Coming home felt good, but I guess that old saying is true. You can never go home again.”

Jason sounded exasperated. “Is this because of me?”

“No. This isn’t a childish ultimatum. I get that you and Caesar have a history together. It’s a blessing and a curse, because if he was some guy you’d been with for just a few weeks, I’d chase him off in a heartbeat. But he actually means something to you. And you’re happy. I want to be happy too, so I’m exploring my options. That’s all. The Coast Guard was great, and I’m not sure I’m ready to leave it.”

Jason frowned. “And Austin doesn’t have a coast that needs guarding.”

“That’s right,” William said. “So it’s not your fault. Even if we were together, I’d still have to decide what my future will be.”

Jason plopped down next to him again, posture slumped. “I don’t want you to go.”

“I know.”

“Isn’t there some sort of civilian job you can take? Ultra-lifeguard or something?”

William laughed. “There are a lot of possibilities. I’d like to keep saving lives, so originally I was thinking of working as an EMT.”

“What, like a paramedic?”

“Yeah. I am one already, technically. I had to get my certification as part of training.”

“For real?” Jason started laughing. “You’re a paramedic?”

“Yes. There’s more to rescuing someone than dragging them out of the water. Why is this funny?”

“It’s not.” Jason got himself under control. “I used to know a guy who wanted to be a paramedic, that’s all. You should do it.”

“Think so?”

“Yeah! You won’t always be young enough to jump out of helicopters, right? Sounds like a good choice.” Jason’s shoulder bumped against his. “And by the way, I love how casually you say ‘I’d like to keep saving lives.’”

“Just doing my duty,” William declared with a country twang. Jason’s eyes sparkled. Lord, how he had missed them! Going without was just a sliver of the sacrifice they had both made. “When I saved the first guy… You remember that? I texted you.”

“Of course I remember.”

“That was such a high. I felt so good, like I had paid back a debt. I don’t know if that makes sense, but anyway, when it was clear the guy was going to make it, I thought of you. If you hadn’t told me to go, that guy might have died. Sure, maybe someone else would have been there in my place, but then again, maybe not.” He looked over, wanting to make sure Jason understood the significance. “Either way, you made it possible. By letting me chase after my dream, you saved his life too.”

Jason’s smile was sheepish. “Cool as it sounds, I can’t take credit for that.”

“Sure you can,” William said. “Him and all the others.”

Jason perked up. “How many?”

“It’s hard to say, since some of them could have survived on their own, maybe been picked up by boaters eventually, or—”

“How many?”

Of all the rescues, only a handful wouldn’t have survived if he hadn’t been there. “Five.”

Jason’s mouth dropped open. “You’re a freaking superhero, you know that?”

William smiled, love filling his chest. “So are we good now? You understand what the last few years were about and absolve me of all my sins?”

Jason nodded. “We’re good.”

Someone knocked on the door, then coughed. Jason looked to it with concern. William ignored the door, staring at Jason instead. They didn’t have many moments like these left. If this wasn’t the last, it was close to it. He was leaving Austin, but before he went, he wanted to study that face so he would never forget. Not a single detail. There was one more thing he wanted too, a selfish wish he decided to grant himself.

“Time’s up,” Jason was saying, turning to look at him. “Caesar probably jumped out of the car and ran back to—”

William leaned forward and closed his eyes as their lips met, breathing in Jason’s scent and resisting the urge to cry. What they once shared had been beautiful. He forced himself to pull away, saw the affection in Jason’s eyes, and was comforted that those feelings hadn’t been lost. “For old times’ sake.” He stood and walked to the door. “From now on, I promise that you’re all his.”

Throat constricted, William turned and opened the door. Tim was standing just beyond it, quickly looking away to give him privacy. This allowed him to casually wipe his eyes. He hoped Lily really had refilled his wine. He found her in the kitchen, deep in conversation with Emma, Jason’s roommate.

“Excuse me,” a voice said. “Delivery coming through.”

Caesar was squeezing his way into the kitchen, a twelve-pack of beer in each hand. He noticed William, face registering surprise. Then he checked to see if anyone else was near enough to overhear before addressing him. “Long time no see… Adam.”

“How’s it going, Steve?” William said without humor.

They sized each other up, Caesar speaking first. “Did you tell him?”

“No. I don’t plan to. You?”

Caesar shook his head. “I don’t want him to get hurt.”

“See that he doesn’t.” William left the kitchen, retreating to the far side of the apartment and tempted to keep running all the way out of Texas, but moving halfway across the country hadn’t let him escape these feelings, nor had four years worn them down. The past would always be a part of him, and for that, he was grateful. He couldn’t have Jason, but at least the love William felt for him would never fade.

Chapter Twenty-three

“So this is it.”

William stood in the driveway of his mother’s house. Lily was leaving town, her vacation at an end. He had made her promise to stop by before she returned to Houston.

“Back to the real world,” Lily said, sounding wistful. “Part of me can’t wait to get back to my routine, but mostly, I could use another two weeks of waking up at ten in the morning and vegging out on the couch all day. What about you? Have you made any decisions? Will you be in Austin the next time I visit my parents?”

“I don’t know. I talked to my dad about it the other day—what I want to do with my life. He says I can either treat it like a problem or an opportunity. I guess he felt trapped sometimes, having to stay in Austin and work a steady job to provide for us. He’s learning to play the drums. Says he always wanted to be in a band.”

“Don’t join a band,” Lily said in dead seriousness. “I don’t see that working out for you.” She reached up and rubbed his buzzed hair. “I’d love to see you grow this out. Just once. All the way down to your butt.”

William laughed and shook his head. “No way! It was good seeing you again. Let’s stay in touch. No matter where I end up, I don’t want us to lose track of each other.”

“I don’t either. Now give me a hug. I’ve gotta get going.”

He was happy to comply. He stood in the driveway, waving at her as she drove away. Then he dragged his feet to the front step and sat, letting the heat warm him inside and out. A neighbor mowed her lawn, kids chased each other with water guns, and overhead a plane traced a line in the sky. He wasn’t used to sitting still like this and letting the world move around him. He preferred action, which made his recent lack of direction all the more frustrating. He thought of Cape Cod and longed for his work there—not just the rescue missions but the humdrum chores like maintaining inventory or helping with special events to engage with the community. He missed his crew, especially Christie and her family. He felt like he had gambled it all and lost.

His pocket rumbled. William leaned back to get at his phone. He expected a text from Lily, one last goodbye. He sat up straight when he saw it was from Jason.

Need a ride to the gallery tomorrow?

A nice offer, but the last thing he wanted was to be stuck in the car with Caesar.
Thanks, but I’ll drive myself.

On your bike? You’ll be all sweaty and stink up the place.

He grinned.
A car. I might drive like a granny, but I’ll get there.

Think of the environment!
Jason responded.
Car pool with me. You like pools.

Ugh. Why did he have to be so cute?
What time?

They confirmed details. Then William put the phone back in his pocket. He considered stealing Jason away by doing anything necessary to force Caesar out of the picture. Would that be so wrong? If William made sure to treat Jason well for the rest of their lives, wouldn’t it be worth abandoning his morals briefly? He didn’t know, but he was done sitting around. He would make himself useful. Cleaning up the house, taking out the trash, weeding the lawn—anything but feeling sorry for himself. He was finished with that.

* * * * *

Jason picked him up the next night, alone except for Emma. That increased the evening’s potential. No need to avoid awkward conversations with Caesar, or see him and Jason being affectionate together. He felt genuinely excited as they made their way into the gallery, pausing to consider the photos on display in the window. Kelly’s art! How long had it been since they had seen each other? Four years, at least. Would he look different? Better? Worse?

Definitely better. Kelly strode toward him, and while his appearance hadn’t changed that much, something else had. William needed a second to figure out what. No crutches! Kelly walked on two legs! No limp, no struggle. He seemed perfectly fine.

“Surprise!” Kelly said, doing a little dance to show off.

William didn’t understand how it was possible, just that one of his greatest wishes had come true. He hugged Kelly, clutching him close and struggling to keep his emotions in check. “You’re walking,” he managed to say.

“I am.” Kelly’s voice was soft. Forgiving. “No harm done. It’s like it never happened.”

William leaned back to look at him, tears escaping his eyes. He knew Kelly well enough to know he was on the verge of crying too. That’s probably why he turned his attention to Jason and Emma. “Prosthetic leg,” he explained. “It’s amazing what they can do these days. When Marcello found out I was looking into them, he insisted on flying me to Germany where they have the very best prosthetics in the world. All paid for by the company.”

“I love that man,” William blubbered, releasing Kelly and feeling happy beyond belief. “I love you!”

Kelly rolled his eyes and smiled. “Someone fetch William a drink. He gets so emo!”

“Guilty as charged,” William said proudly, “and drinking only makes me more emotional, so we’d better stay sober. Unless you want to see a grown man cry.”

“Tempting.” Kelly looked him over, expression warm. Then he addressed Jason and Emma again. “I didn’t expect to see you two here. Thanks for coming.”

“It’s good to see you again,” Jason said. “Sorry for not staying in touch.”

“It’s fine. Modeling kept me busy. Then I got tired of the scene and ran away from home. What about you?”

“Me? Oh, I’ve been…” Jason stalled, looking somewhat downtrodden. “Honestly, I’m right where you left me.”

William opened his mouth to disagree. Jason had done plenty with his life! His best friend had him covered though.

“You never did know how to sell yourself,” Emma said, placing a hand on his shoulder and addressing Kelly. “Jason has been volunteering at the local animal shelter and keeps coming up with fundraising ideas, enough that the shelter has been able to expand. He also trains new volunteers.”

“That’s really cool,” Kelly said, “and much more worthwhile than what I’ve been doing. Trust me.”

“I don’t know about that,” Jason said. “People seem to be enjoying your art.”

“They feel sorry for me. But if you’d like to look around, I’d be interested in your opinion.”

“Yeah! Of course!”

William’s attention remained on his ex-boyfriend. “I’ll catch up with you guys.”

Kelly seemed a little surprised that he would want to stay behind, but then said, “Walk with me?”

“Gladly.”

They strolled to the nearest photo—a broken-down pumpjack in Colorado—Kelly explaining how he hoped someday all oil refineries would be retired in favor of cleaner energy sources. William knew from their recent phone conversation that Kelly had spent the last few years traveling. The second photo was taken at a school cafeteria in South Carolina, proving he hadn’t limited himself to just one region.

“Did you ever make it up to Cape Cod?” William asked.

Kelly seemed distracted, his attention on the gallery patrons. Maybe he was worried about what they thought. “Cape Cod,” he repeated. Then he blinked. “No. I’m in New York now. That’s the closest I’ve gotten.”

They moved on to the next photo, and the next, and as impressive as they were, William couldn’t help but look at Kelly’s legs, letting his eyes drift over the rest of his body too. There was a reason William had been so drawn to him when they first met. Kelly noticed his glances, but they had been too intimate for this to feel awkward. “You look good.”

Kelly’s eyebrows shot up. “If you hadn’t shown up with Jason tonight, I’d think you were flirting with me.”

William chuckled. “Don’t worry, I wouldn’t be so cruel as to subject you to dating me again.”

“Oh it wasn’t all that bad,” Kelly said generously. “I’ve had worse.”

“Really? Just how many prosthetic limbs do you have?”

Kelly laughed. “Just one, and when you put it that way, you do sound absolutely villainous. But you’re not. You’ve always been a good person.”

William swallowed. “I’m trying to be. I really am.”

“You already are.” Kelly poked him in the stomach. “I’m disappointed. I expected the Coast Guard to make you more confident.”

“That was the plan. And yeah, most of the time I feel like I’ve gotten my life on track. Funny how temptation can sneak up on you though.”

Kelly didn’t miss a beat. “Spill it,” he said.

William exhaled. “I came back to Austin hoping to sweep Jason off his feet, only to discover that someone else got there first. He’s with another guy, and I want to wedge my way between them, but we both know that can lead to disaster.”

Kelly’s sympathetic expression turned to one of amusement. “I can’t decide if this is karma or not, but I’m pretty sure you deserve it.”

William couldn’t help smiling along with him. “You’re such a bastard.”

“I know. But you’ll be fine.” Kelly took his arm, guiding him farther along. “From what I gather, Jason is still madly in love with you. Give it a few weeks and I’m sure things will shake out in your favor.”

“I hope you’re right.”

They stood in front of the next photo, but they were both too lost in the past to see it. “Ever regret leaving town all those years ago?” Kelly asked.

William tried to imagine being with Jason the past four years instead. Then he thought about everything the Coast Guard had given him, and what that had allowed him to give back, and he knew his answer. No regrets. William hadn’t been at peace with himself before the Coast Guard and wouldn’t have been a good boyfriend to Jason. He felt complete now, and was certain he was ready to settle down, even though the opportunity wasn’t there. He explained this to Kelly, who had turned to look at the entrance. William wasn’t sure he was listening, so he asked, “What about you? Do you regret leaving?”

Kelly didn’t answer at first, his attention still elsewhere. Then he breathed in sharply. “I can’t say I feel complete… But no, I don’t regret it. Leaving was the right thing to do.” He turned his full attention on William. “So you came back for Jason.”

“Yeah. I guess so.”

“And it didn’t work out.”

“Right. Now it’s one big nostalgia tour until I decide what to do with myself.”

“That’s what I am?” Kelly said, the hint of a smile betraying his serious tone. “Nostalgia?”

“I’m pretty sure it’s a compliment,” William said.

Kelly laughed, but for a different reason. “We were two of a kind when we first met. Both driven and focused on our dreams. Funny that after all this time we would share the same motivation again.”

“So you—”

“Came back into town, hoping for another chance with a special guy.”

“Me?” William said, even though he knew it wasn’t true. “I’m flattered but…”

“No, not you!” Kelly squeezed his arm affectionately. “I met mine while working for Marcello. No doubt you’ve seen some of my critically acclaimed modeling photos and are crippled by regret.”

“When I think of our failed relationship,” William retorted, “all I feel is regret.”

Kelly reappraised him. “Nicely done! A little more of that fire and we would have made it together. Seriously though, this guy got to me. I fell hard for him, and for a while, it was good. We split up for different reasons than you and Jason, but I find it ironic that we’re both in the same boat now.”

“So what are you going to do?” William asked. “Lately I feel lost.”

“I’ll return to New York,” Kelly said without hesitation. “I’m broke and struggling, but at least I’m doing what I feel I was meant to. And honestly, I can’t imagine you not being in the Coast Guard. I’ve read about your exploits.”

“You have?”

“Google-stalking,” Kelly explained. “Some of your rescues made the news. You know that, right?”

“In that case, I don’t mind admitting that I’ve looked at plenty of your modeling photos. Some more than others. If you know what I mean.”

“Masturbation is the highest form of flattery,” Kelly said. Then he appeared concerned. “That sounds like something Marcello would say. I hope he isn’t rubbing off on me! No pun intended. Oh god! Is debauchery contagious?”

“I’m not sure,” William said, laughing. “But I do know that I missed you.”

Kelly’s smile was demure. “On rare occasions, I’ve missed you too. But don’t get used to having me around. Like I said, after this exhibition, I’m returning to New York. Think you’ll stay here?”

“No,” William said, finally feeling confident about his answer. “I’m not sure where I’ll end up, but it won’t be here.”

“Giving up on Jason already?”

“Yup. Don’t say it’s a lack of confidence! I’ve seen the new guy. I could compete, but I’ve been around them when they’re together, and Jason didn’t seem too broken up over me.”

“I told you he was bad news,” Kelly teased. “You should have listened.”

William put an arm around him affectionately. “You’re right. As always.”

Kelly sighed and leaned against him. “You used to say that all the time, just to shut me up. Good times.”

“Yeah,” William said, matching his sigh. “We had some good times. Definitely.”

* * * * *