Something Like This (Secrets) (8 page)

“I hope you’re lost in thoughts about me.”

When I looked up, Reece was staring at me, a grin on his face. He looked absolutely beautiful. I couldn’t help blushing.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to embarrass you,” he said, obviously taking note of my red cheeks.

I ran my fingers through my hair and exhaled a quick breath. “It’s okay,” I said, my cheeks getting hotter. “Although I wasn’t thinking about you just then, you did cross my mind from time to time last night.”

Now he was the one blushing. I had a sudden urge to jump him right then and there. For goodness’ sake, what in all hell was wrong with me?

“Glad to hear it,” he said.

“I assume you thought about
me
last night?” I asked, standing.

He gave me a long stare. “I haven’t stopped thinking about you since the first day I met you.”

I thought I was going to faint. Reece had utterly erased the day’s earlier odd events.

“How much time do you have for lunch?” he asked.

“About an hour or so. Your uncle has a lunch meeting today.”

“Good, that means he’ll be gone for a while.”

“Why? What do you have in mind?”

“I was thinking that maybe we could have lunch at my apartment.”

Butterflies invaded my stomach. His apartment? Was I ready for that? I wasn’t sure how I felt about the offer.

“I made chicken salad,” he said, smiling. “But if you don’t like that, I can make you something else. I’m a pretty good cook.”

“Um, yeah, I like chicken salad...”

“If you’d rather go someplace else...” he said, noticing my discomfort.

I threw my purse over my shoulder and said, “You know what?”

“What?”

“I’m suddenly craving chicken salad.”

He laughed. “Okay, great, my place it is.”

I hope I don’t regret this.

***

W
e pulled up to his apartment building on K Street. From the looks of it, it was a pretty new building; it had a very industrial, shiny look to it. It definitely didn’t look like any of the buildings in which I grew up.

He stepped out of the car and went around to the other side to open the door for me.

As I stepped out of the car, a man approached Reece.

Reece handed him the keys to his car.

“Valet parking?” I asked.

“It’s included in the rent.”

A doorman opened the building door for us.

“He included in the rent as well?” I asked.

Reece smiled and nodded. He then took my hand and led me to the elevators.

“I apologize in advance. My place is a mess. I just moved in about a month ago. Before that, I was living with my mom for a while.”

“So you wait until we’re here to tell me you’re a slob?” I asked.

The elevator doors opened and we stepped inside.

Laughing, he said, “I guess so. But, don’t worry, I promise it’s not that scary.”

“If you say so.”

The elevator came to a stop on the fifth floor.

“I’m a couple doors down,” he said, as we stepped out into the dim hallway.

“Why is your hallway so dark?”

“They’re working on fixing the electrical wiring. The lights actually go completely out on occasion. You’d think with this being a new building, we wouldn’t have these kinds of problems...” he sighed and dug in his jeans’ pocket for his keys. Opening his apartment door, he said, “Okay, this is my place, unpacked boxes and all.”

The newness of it all struck me immediately. Shiny hardwood floors, shiny granite kitchen countertops, shiny stainless steel appliances, shiny crown molding, and, of course, huge shiny windows. And despite the few boxes scattered about, his apartment was damn near perfect. Quite honestly, it was what I wanted for myself.

I walked over to a window. “Lovely view of a green crane.”

“You teasing me?” he asked, standing next to me.

“I have to a little.”

“Why is that?”

“Because you have a perfect place. It’s gorgeous. And I was jealous until I saw your view.”

“Aha, so is this your way of letting me know you’re the jealous kind?”

“Maybe,” I said, winking.

He leaned in and tried to kiss me, but I stepped away.

“I’m not going to make it easy. You’ll need to catch me first,” I said, stepping backward a few steps.

“Oh, come on. Are you serious?”

“Dead.” I took off down the hall.

“Come back here.”

“Come get me.”

“Don’t think I won’t.”

I jumped into his bedroom and closed the door, but before I could lock it, he pushed it open.

“My apartment isn’t that big, you know. Just the one bedroom and a bathroom. Not many places for you to hide. You’re caught.”

I started giggling like a little girl. “I’ll scream.”

“Hmm, okay, go ahead.” He moved closer toward me.

“I swear it.”

“All right, do it.” He put his arms around my waist and pulled me close to his chest.

“Are you going to kiss me?” I asked.

“Do you want me to?”

“I think so.”

“Hmm, maybe I should feed you first? How about I make you a chicken salad sandwich?”

“How about you kiss me?”

“You sure?”

“Yes.”

And he did. My body tingled and then caught on fire. He was the best kisser I had ever had and, yes, I realized it sounded like a cliché, but it was the truth. I wanted him to take my clothes off and have his way with me right then and there.

He read my mind because he slowly began to push me toward the bed.

Oh my God, this was really happening. Reece and I were about to have sex for the first time. And then just like that, my mind went to my undergarments! Shit, what kind of underwear was I wearing? The sexy, bikini type or had I reached for my full, um, feeling-fat underwear this morning? Damn it, I couldn’t remember. Okay, think. What kind of a mood was I in this morning when I was getting dressed?

Reece unbuttoned my pants.

Think!

He started pushing my pants down.

Shit, woman, think!

He touched my underwear.

Ah, yes, I’m wearing my sexy bikini underwear, of course! My thoughts were on Reece this morning. No way would I have reached for fat underwear.

Pushing my underwear down, he said, “We don’t have to, if you don’t want to.”

I looked him in the eyes. “I want to.”

And with that, we both fell into the bed.

He caressed my body, fondling and kissing my breasts all the while telling me how he couldn’t stop thinking about me, how I was all he talked about, and dreamt about.

We kissed each other slowly, gently biting each other’s lips and craving each other’s bodies, wanting so desperately to be inside of each other.

He slowly entered me. I wanted him to stay inside me forever. This was how it was supposed to be. This was not like all the other times. I didn’t feel ashamed. I didn’t feel like trash. He wanted to be with me because I mattered to him.

I closed my eyes and let him go deeper into me. Was I falling in love with him?
Oh my God, yes, I love him.
I don’t really know him, but I can’t deny my feelings.

As he rocked me and went deeper and deeper into me, I wanted to scream and let him know what I was feeling. I wanted him to know that I loved him. I wanted him to take away my pain, my sadness, my past.

***

M
oments later, we held each other, my head resting on his chest.

“Are you hungry?” he asked, kissing the top of my head.

“A little, but I need to get back soon.”

“How about I fix you a sandwich to go?”

“That would be great.”

It would also be great if I told you I loved you and you said the words back to me. Did I dare tell him? I could almost hear myself saying the words to him. What if he didn’t say them back? It was too soon. I was acting like a needy, crazy girl.

He jumped out of the bed and proceeded to get dressed.

“Meet you in the kitchen?” he asked.

I nodded.

Once alone, I took a deep breath and gathered my thoughts. I decided not to tell Reece what I was feeling. Doing so would end up scaring him. I didn’t want to risk losing him. Not before we even got started.

I got up, got dressed, and headed for the kitchen.

“Here you go,” he said, holding a sandwich in a Ziploc bag in front of me.

“Thank you.” I took the bag. “I guess I better get going.”

“I’ll drive you back.”

“No, it’s okay, I’ll take the Metro.”

“I’ll drive you.”

“No, really, it’s okay. I’d actually rather take the Metro, if you don’t mind.”

“Are you okay?”

“Yes, I’m sorry, I have to meet with a new guy in our office to go over some manuscripts this afternoon and I could use the alone time to think.”

I had to leave before I blurted out the words.

“Okay. If you’re sure?”

“I’m sure.”

He leaned in and gave me a kiss on the cheek. “I miss you already.”

I smiled. “Me too.”

“Can I call you later?”

“You better.”

He walked me to the door.

“Okay, be careful,” he said.

“Will do.”

I started walking down the hall. “Are you watching me?”

“Yes.”

“That’s kind of creepy.”

“I can’t help it.”

I pushed the elevator button and the doors instantly opened. I took a step.

“Wait,” he said.

“Is something wrong?”

“I have to tell you something.”

“What is it?”

He ran toward me. “Jadie, the thing is. Well, I...”

“What?”

“I’m crazy about you.”

“I know that.” I smiled.

“It’s not just that.”

“I...love you.”

My heart danced. I couldn’t believe he’d said the words I wanted to say to him.

Tears started forming. “I love you, too.”

He hugged me. “Are we crazy?”

“A bit.”

“Okay, so, we love each other, right?” he said.

“Looks that way.”

“Okay, good, because I thought I was going to scare you off.”

“I’m still here. Well, for now. I do need to go.”

He pushed the elevator button for me. “I don’t want my uncle to get mad at you because of me.”

The doors opened and I stepped in.

“I love you,” he said, again.

“And I you.”

The doors closed. I leaned against the wall and let my tears fall.

I was happy, so very happy. Nothing in the world could make me sad right at that moment. Reece loved me and I loved him. That’s all that mattered.

––––––––

I
t was Monday night and I was sitting on my bed, drinking a glass of wine and thinking about the day’s events. It had been quite a day, for sure. Mr. Walker had basically wigged out on me, I had met Tom, someone I knew was going to be trouble, and Reece..., well, he had told me he loved me, only minutes after I had almost told him I loved him. I couldn’t believe how quickly things were moving.

I realized that there was a very real possibility I was setting up my heart to be broken, shattered, destroyed...all right, I was being dramatic, but still, my dramatics didn’t change the possibility that everything could end with me in the fetal position, crying my little heart out, with Grace and Lisa trying their best to comfort me. Nonetheless, I was willing to risk a broken heart, because for the first time in a gazillion years, I was actually experiencing moments of happiness. I was sure my past would always haunt me, do its best to bring me down, to make me want to stop laughing, stop smiling, and stop living altogether. But I’d refuse to let it.

Hell, I’m only twenty-three years old. I still have a chance. I can still live a normal life.

I swallowed a sip of my wine and then glanced down at the bracelet on my wrist, a simple, thin, silver bracelet that had been with me since I was twelve years old. I rarely took it off, and when I did, I couldn’t have it off longer than a few minutes.

When I looked at it, something I did often, I felt it could somehow transport me back in time, back to when my father was sitting across from me at a table at Popeyes, the only place he ever took me to eat when it was just him and me. He would tell me how much he loved me and how he would always protect me, and I would munch on my chicken and eat my dirty rice and keep my face down and barely say a word to him. Despite my lack of engagement when we were together, I always knew he was telling me truth.

But on one Wednesday afternoon, my father lied to me. He sat across the table, handed me a bracelet, and lied to me.

Grasping my hand, his eyes welling up with tears, my father had said, “Jadie, I love you very much. Never forget how much I love you. No matter what happens, I will always be there for you. You’re my kid and my job is to take care of you...to protect you, and love you.”

Looking back, I should have known he was saying goodbye to me. I should have known that the bracelet was his going-away gift to me. I should have clung to him, begged him not to leave me. I should have started talking to him, being nice to him, and calling him “Papi.” But I was still mad at him for not living with us anymore. I said nothing that day.

I was a twelve-year-old kid who believed her father when he told her he would always be there for her. That day, I sat in a booth at a fast-food restaurant, eating chicken and sipping soda, a silver bracelet on my wrist, and I was happy. I was happy because even though I still resented my father for breaking up with Mami, I knew it wasn’t entirely his fault. I knew he was trying to be a good father and I knew that the day would come when I would no longer resent him, as long as he continued to show up, I would go on loving him.

My father sat across from me and never took his eyes off me. I remember watching a tear trickle down his face. I had asked him why he was crying and he had answered, “Because you’re the most beautiful child I have ever seen and I’m so grateful to have you in my life.”

And I had smiled and told him he was a good father and then, I had gone back to eating my food. When we were done eating, we walked out of the restaurant hand in hand and he drove me home.

As I opened the car door, he said, “Remember what I told you. No matter what happens, I will always be there for you.”