Something to Believe In (16 page)

CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

“W
HAT
BAD
LUCK
,” Lora said to Heath as they lay in bed. She tightened her hold
across his chest and snuggled deeper against his side. “I feel terrible for
Lilah. Why’d Justin have to show up now?”

“As opposed to when? Would there really be a better time for
him to reinsert himself into her life? I look at it as a blessing.”

“How so?”

“He can still be there for his kids from the very beginning,
which is his right. He’s not really missing out on anything and thus, it’ll be
easier for him to forgive Lilah for keeping the knowledge from him.”

Lora fell silent, digesting Heath’s reasoning. She supposed
Heath had a point, but she didn’t know if Lilah needed yet another burden to
deal with. “Yeah, but my initial misgivings about him remain. What kind of
father is he going to be when he hardly qualified as a good boyfriend?”

“People change if they are motivated to do so,” Heath said, his
voice a reassuring rumble against her ear. “But you have to give him the chance
to prove himself. And so does Lilah. I don’t think he’s so mad at Lilah that
he’ll hold this against her for the rest of their lives. I think he still cares
for her.”

Lora frowned. “What makes you think that?”

“I saw it in his eyes the second before he saw her belly and
the realization hit that she was pregnant.”

“What did you see?” Lora asked, intrigued.

“Love. Pure, wild and uncontainable love.”

Lora was shocked. “Really? How do you know?”

“Because I recognized it. It’s how I feel when I look at you
and when Gabe looks at Lindy.”

Lora warmed all over and tears sprang to her eyes. God, how she
loved this man. “You know, you’re an amazing individual, Heath Cannon,” she said
as her throat closed. “I’m so lucky. I want that for Lilah, too.”

“Me, too.”

“So if you saw all this, why’d you want to punch his lights
out?”

She heard the smile in his tone as he said, “Because Lilah is
like my little sister and he’d made her cry. I figured, he deserved a punch in
the nose at the very least for leaving her behind in the first place.”

Lora secretly agreed but she felt obligated to point out,
“Well, we kind of chased him away.”

“I don’t consider that a viable excuse. Look how hard you tried
to chase me away. I didn’t budge.”

“No, you didn’t,” Lora recalled with a giddy smile. “And I’m so
grateful.”

“The way I look at it is this—if you want the privilege of
calling a Bell yours, you have to earn it. And that’s what Justin has to do
right now.”

Lora was silently struck by how wise Heath was. He’d always had
a firm grasp on what made people tick, something she’d paid a lot of money in
college tuition to learn and yet still managed to miss the mark at times. “Your
glass fusion is really starting to take off,” she said, switching subjects.
“Your wedding ring centerpieces are truly beautiful. I hope our kids have your
artistic talent,” she said with a sigh. She felt Heath still and she glanced up
at him. “What?” she asked, concerned she’d said something wrong.

“You said, ‘kids,’” he observed, breaking into a grin.

“Yeah,” she admitted, almost shyly. “I’ve been thinking a lot
about having babies. It’s all Lilah’s fault.”

“Every time I’ve brought it up you’ve quickly switched the
subject or put me off. I didn’t want to pressure you but...I want to start our
family. I want to hold our child in my arms. It’s kind of all I think about
these days,” he said with a pinch of embarrassment. “I know that’s not very
manly, right?”

His admission sparked a hunger inside her that she didn’t
realize was so strong. She rose up and straddled him. His body was warm and
strong beneath her and she reveled in the familiar feel of each curve and ridge.
This man was her
everything.
How could she possibly
want to hang on to an image from the past when the future was so much sweeter?
For too long she’d been trying to preserved the identity of the woman she’d
been—corporate shark and ballbuster—but it was distinctly at odds with who she
was becoming and it’d been confusing and stressful trying to embrace both
identities. She realized in that moment, she no longer needed to be the
corporate shark. She cupped his jaw with both hands and pressed a kiss to his
lips. “I’m ready for it all, Heath Cannon. I want to be your wife and the mother
of your children. I don’t know what I was waiting for but I’m done waiting.”

Heath rose up and met her mouth with a hungry kiss that
devoured her from the inside out. She felt his answer and his joy in the fervent
touch of his hands as he roamed her body and demanded an equal and arousing
reaction from her. He pulled her panties down and off, tossing them from the bed
as he rolled her onto her back, his gaze darkening with desire and love—a heady
combination. “Then let’s get on with it, sweetheart,” he said in a husky murmur
against her neck that sent shivers dancing across her skin. “By the end of
tonight, if there’s not a baby in your belly, it won’t be from lack of
trying!”

She gasped and clutched at him, closing her eyes as sweet bliss
followed.
Yesss...

* * *

J
USTIN
TOOK
CARE
in his
presentation that morning, taking time to pick out an outfit he thought Lilah
would like, rehearsing what he wanted to say to her so that he didn’t find
himself tongue-tied when it mattered most. But the tension in his gut told him
that no matter how he prepared, he was going to remain a nervous wreck because
there was so much at stake.

Lilah had tentatively agreed to meet him at their favorite
beach, a meeting point he’d purposely selected in the hopes that it might spark
tender feelings for him and increase his chances of success, because he’d
certainly need any advantage possible.

He arrived early and when he saw Lilah pull up in the Jeep, he
ran to meet her when it seemed she struggled to clear the high lip of the Jeep’s
frame. “I got it,” she said, warning him off with a cool look.

Justin stiffened. “I just want to help.”

“Well, I didn’t ask for your help.”

He sighed, not liking the sour beginning to what he hoped would
end happily. “Lilah, I’m really not the enemy here. Can we try not to
fight?”

She looked away, somewhat guiltily, and then jerked a nod.
Justin held out his hand as a peace offering and he held his breath, waiting to
see if she would continue to rebuff him or if she would accept the gesture. To
his relief, she slipped her hand into his—however reluctantly. The minute he
felt her small hand fit into his, a shiver passed over his body and he was
reminded in excruciating detail how it felt to be inside her, to feel her beside
him, and he ached for the loss. He shouldn’t have waited so long to come back.
He should’ve listened to his instincts and returned that very day and patched
things up between them, forced her to listen to his side. Now he didn’t know
where to begin but the fact that she was there with him gave him hope.

“When’d you find out?” he asked as they walked the beach, hand
in hand.

“Two weeks after you’d left. I couldn’t stop throwing up.”

“I’m sorry,” he said, feeling like a toad that he wasn’t there
for her. “Are you feeling better now?”

“Yes,” she said with a short nod as she stared ahead. “Why’d
you come back?”

He drew a tight breath. “No small talk, huh?” he remarked, only
partially joking. Already his chest felt as if he couldn’t quite get a deep
enough breath and it was going to be a bitch getting the words out yet she
wasn’t making it any easier on him. He tried to remember that she was probably
just as freaked out as him at the prospect of parenthood, though she’d had
considerably longer than him to adjust to the idea. “I’m sorry, Lilah, for
leaving like I did. I should’ve stayed and explained everything that was going
on.”

“You didn’t need to explain. It wasn’t my business,” she
murmured with a subtle shrug.

“No, I wanted to explain but it was and still is complicated. I
was sent here by my father to get my party days out of my system because he was
going to stop my allowance if I didn’t go into politics. I know that sounds
shallow and stupid for a grown man to rely on his parents for his livelihood,
and trust me in the past few months I’ve realized I was pretty ridiculous, but
the thing is, I didn’t know when I came here that I would meet someone like you.
I wasn’t looking for love.”

She stopped and pulled her hand free abruptly to stare at him
with wide eyes. “Love?”

He swallowed. “Yes. It’s taken me this long to realize that I
fell in love with you.”

“Why didn’t you say something then?” she asked, her tone mildly
accusatory, as if she didn’t believe him. “You don’t have to say these things
just because I’m pregnant and you think that’s what I need to hear.”

“I’m not saying these things because of either of those
reasons,” he said, trying again. “I’m saying them because I mean them. My
feelings for you haven’t changed. Not one bit. And in fact, they’re stronger
than ever.”

She blinked and tears filled her eyes. “Do you mean that?”

“Of course I do,” he said, stepping in front of her and
reaching for her hands. “I reacted badly last night and I’m sorry. But I’m not
about to walk away from my babies or you again. Please say you’ll forgive me for
being an idiot.”

She opened her mouth, then snapped it shut as she wiped her
tears away. “This isn’t fair,” she whispered. “Here I am trying to work up the
nerve to tell you that I’m willing to be friends for the sake of the babies and
you’re telling me that you love me?”

His heart stuttered to a painful stop and he stared, unsure
he’d understood her correctly. “You want to be friends?”

“No,” she answered, confusing him. “I can’t be your friend. I
don’t know how we can be friends when we’ve never been friends before. I don’t
know you, Justin. The guy I thought I knew, he doesn’t really exist. He was a
figment of our collective imagination and you’re a stranger to me.”

Justin’s first reaction was to pull away angrily, but he pushed
down the impulse, determined to make this work. He could see her distress, could
understand her frustration at his lack of sharing when it would’ve been
appropriate and he didn’t want to blow this by allowing his temper to get the
best of him. “Lilah, my father is New York Senator Vernon Cales. He’s very
connected and our family has been in politics for many generations. It’s in our
blood, if you will. I wouldn’t have believed that kind of nonsense until my
father forced my hand and sent me on the campaign trail. I never thought I’d say
this, but I enjoy what I’m doing. I can really make a difference and for the
first time in my life I have a serious purpose. It’s changed me for the better.
The reason I didn’t say anything when you confronted me with my past was because
there was nothing I could say in my own defense. I
was
that guy. I was a jerk. A real asshole who used people and
didn’t care about their feelings after I’d gotten what I wanted. And so I just
left. But the reality is, the time I had with you was magical and I wouldn’t
trade it for the world.” He dared to softly touch her belly and she stilled when
his hands gently caressed the rounded skin. “And now I know that I was right. It
was
magical. We created life together. And I
could never regret that.”

Tears slipped down her cheeks. “I didn’t get pregnant on
purpose,” she whispered in earnest. “I want you to know that. I—” She stopped.
Something in her eyes that looked like fear made him want to hold her tight but
he sensed she was holding back and wouldn’t welcome his embrace just yet.

“I believe you,” he said, trying to soothe her fears but the
minute shake of her head caused a knot to form in his stomach. “What’s
wrong?”

Her hands became clammy and she pulled them free.
“Justin...I...need time to think about this,” she stammered. “It’s a lot to take
in and I need... I just need to talk to my sisters first.”

Frowning, he bracketed his hips, as his frustration peaked.
“Why? Talk to
me,
Lilah. I’m the one affected by
whatever it is you’re holding back. Trust me, I won’t judge if that’s what
you’re afraid of. Even if you did get pregnant on purpose,
I don’t care.
What matters is how we feel about each other. I know
you still care for me. I can see it in your eyes.” When she remained stubbornly
silent but tears continued to dribble from her eyes, he said a bit sharply,
“Come on, Lilah. Let me in.
Tell me
what’s
wrong.”

“I didn’t get pregnant on purpose,” she snapped, wiping at her
eyes. “That’s all you need to know right now. I can’t talk about this right now.
I need time.” She turned and walked back to the Jeep, the deep sand making her
trek slow and ungainly but he knew she wouldn’t accept his help.

“Lilah,” he called out in irritation but she ignored him. “Damn
it, girl, I want to marry your stubborn ass!”

At that she stopped and nearly toppled over when her center of
gravity tipped. She wobbled and then turned to stare at him, her mouth open.

“What?”

“You heard me,” he bit out, not liking how this had turned out.
It certainly wasn’t the romantic declaration he’d envisioned. Now he was so
agitated, he just wanted to scoop her into his arms and haul her to the first
justice of the peace that he could find and be done with it. “I want to marry
you.”

“Marry?” she gasped, her hand going to her belly. She stared as
if he’d told her that he wanted to fly to the moon and make angels in the moon
dust. She certainly didn’t look overcome with elation.
Aww
crap.
He winced as his worst fear started to materialize right before
his eyes. “Marry?” she repeated incredulously. “Absolutely not.”