Something to Believe In (18 page)

CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

J
USTIN
COULDN
’
T
ARGUE
Lilah’s logic. His parents would never accept her
given the circumstances. He pictured his society-driven mother falling over in a
horrified swoon if he brought Lilah home with her obviously pregnant stomach,
and his father would bellow and rage about the family’s reputation going down in
flames all because Justin couldn’t keep his pants zipped for one bleeding
second. Justin realized with a heavy heart, this one thing had the power to
destroy all the fence mending he and his father had done in the past six months.
But even knowing that, Justin knew he wouldn’t forsake Lilah and the babies for
the world.

On one hand Justin could understand their dismay; his situation
wasn’t ideal but there was no way in hell he was going to walk away from Lilah
or his children.

He’d never known how much he wanted to be a father until the
moment he realized Lilah was carrying his babies. Something inside him bloomed
and spread, branching out like a wild, mystic root that wrapped itself around
his heart and took hold with a death grip that nothing would shake. He didn’t
want to miss a minute of their lives and no political career would ever replace
what he would miss if he walked away right now.

Not to mention, he wasn’t sure it was physically possible for
him to leave Lilah. Everything about her made him want to be with her, even when
she was driving him nuts.

Immediately, his thoughts went to his apartment and how
unsuited it was for kids. He had sharp-cornered glass tables and cold, granite
flooring that looked beautiful but would provide little cushion for toddling
twins. His place was a bachelor pad made for impressing the ladies in the short
term, and providing him a lair for hiding out to nurse hangovers. He couldn’t
bring Lilah and the babies there.

Justin owned the apartment, one of the only smart purchases
he’d made with his trust fund. He could lease it out or sell it, though the
market hadn’t rebounded from the crash just yet. However, he’d be willing to
take a loss if he had to. He needed to find something that was conducive to
family life if he was ever going to convince Lilah to move with him. He thought
of his family’s vacation cottage in upstate New York near Lake Hunnicut and
wondered if Lilah would be willing to swap country air for sand and surf. He
supposed there was only one way to find out.

For the next week, he knew his mission: get Lilah to agree to
go to New York with him.

* * *

“T
HANKS
FOR
LETTING
ME
GO
to
the doctor’s appointment with you,” Justin said, gracing her with a warm smile,
which she returned as she drove the short distance to the clinic. Today was the
ultrasound and even though she didn’t want to know the sex of the babies, the
ultrasound was necessary to ensure they were growing as they should and that
there weren’t any problems with the placentas. The fact that Justin was going
with her made her a little giddy, though she tried to tell herself not to get
used to it. Justin had to leave and that’s just how it went. But she’d enjoy
today.

“So far the doctor has said we’re right on track with growth
and whatnot so this is just to make sure the placentas are placed in good spots
and there aren’t any problems in that regard.”

“When are you due?” he asked. “By my calculations, sometime in
September?”

“Yes, that’s pretty good. September 17.”

“Right before the November elections,” he murmured, and her
smile faltered. Always that reminder hanging between them. She focused on the
road and tried not to let him see that her mood had dimmed. To her surprise, he
changed the subject abruptly. “Did I ever tell you that my family owns a cottage
on Lake Hunnicut in upstate New York?”

“No, I don’t think so,” she answered, mildly perplexed by the
subject change.

“It’s beautiful up there. Fresh air, trees all around and the
prettiest lake around with the cleanest waters. Some of my best memories were
made up at that cottage. Have you ever caught fireflies?” he asked.

She shook her head, entertained by the plain nostalgia in his
tone. He looked younger, more relaxed. “My dad used to insist that on one month
out of the year we get out of the city, and although the cottage wasn’t my mom’s
idea of getting away—she preferred Europe or some other expensive vacation—my
dad was adamant, it had to be Hunnicut. Eventually, even she started to like it.
There’s a certain charm to the place that’s hard to ignore. Very peaceful. I
used to love our time there and looked forward to the trip every year.” His
smile changed as if he just remembered something. “It was the one time me and my
dad actually got along. He taught me to fish and catch fireflies, make s’mores
and start a campfire. It was as if he was a different person than the man behind
the desk.”

“You and your dad don’t get along most days?”

“We didn’t, until recently. Before I returned from St. John and
started on the campaign trail, I thought he was an overbearing control freak.
Now I’ve had the chance to walk a mile in his shoes and realized he was trying
to make a difference in the world. Actually, it was a humbling realization and
it also made me see that I’d been a selfish, spoiled jerk for a long time. Kinda
embarrassing, really,” he admitted with a flush, but Lilah’s forgiving smile
smoothed away the lingering frown lines creasing his forehead.

“So it was the job that made him seem that way,” Lilah
guessed.

“Yeah, I guess so. I’ve only just realized how much pressure my
father is under. When you’re in politics, everyone wants something from you and
they’re not willing to help you unless you agree to help them. And often, their
interests are in direct opposition to your interests but you have to ignore that
little fact in order to get their contribution or assistance.”

“Sounds tediously confusing,” she said.

“It can be. But I’ve started to recognize there’s a rhythm to
the dance and I think I might be good at it.”

“I don’t doubt it,” she said. “You have charisma. When you turn
on the charm, it’s hard to ignore,” she admitted. This was something she knew
firsthand. “All the greatest leaders were like that.”

He chuckled with self-deprecation but glanced at her with
something akin to curiosity. “Do you think I could be a good leader?”

“I don’t know,” she answered honestly. “But I do know that you
can probably get people to do what you want them to. Whether that translates
into being a good leader or not probably depends on how you use that power,
right?”

“I guess so,” he agreed. “I want to help people. That’s what I
want to use my influence for.”

“Then you will be a good leader if you let that sentiment drive
your decisions.”

“The mother of my children is a wise woman,” he said, reaching
over to caress her cheek. She leaned into his touch but pulled away before she
became too comfortable accepting his presence as normal.

“My Grams was the smart one. I just listened more than
most.”

They pulled into the parking lot of the tiny clinic and Lilah
read the misgivings on his face. She clasped his hand and tugged him forward.
“Don’t judge a book by its cover. We have excellent doctors here. I
promise.”

“It’s no bigger than a matchbox,” he grumbled, glancing around
at the ugly little building that housed the clinic. “And it looks as if it’s
going to fall down.”

“Bigger is not necessarily better,” she quipped with a
grin.

“That’s what men have been trying to tell women for ages. So
far it hasn’t stuck,” he retorted, causing her to laugh out loud.

She returned with a coy smile, “Well, I’m sure you’ve had no
complaints in that department.”

“Oh...” he said. The fact that she could make him blush just a
little gave her a silly thrill. But just as she reached for the door, he slid in
front of her and kissed her soundly. “That’s what you get for reminding me about
the times I had the privilege of making love to you,” he murmured against her
lips. “If you keep it up, I’m going to need a refresher course.”

She gasped and sank into his kiss, her hormones were already
going crazy, but Justin’s comment had just kicked them into overdrive. God, she
was...um...well...hungry for something other than food and she wasn’t
embarrassed by her desire, only ready to shuck her clothes. “I could
reschedule,” she said, her hands curling against his back as he held her to
him.

“Such an impatient little thing,” he said softly with approval.
“But your appointments are important. Business first, fun later.”

She pretended to pout. “Fine. But the way my hormones work, I
might not be into you within the next ten minutes. You might’ve missed your
window.”

He laughed. “Fortunately, I think I can figure out how to flip
the switch. I’ve had months to fantasize about exactly what I’d do to get you
back into my bed.”

She couldn’t help the grin that followed his statement. “You
did?”

“Hell yes. It’s all I thought about when I wasn’t shaking
strangers’ hands and kissing up to rich old men for their campaign support.”

“I bet you didn’t imagine that there’d be a big belly in the
way, did you?”

“Sweetheart...your belly is sexier than anything I’ve ever
seen. If I didn’t worry you’d think I was a pervert, I’d have thrown you down a
long time ago.”

Now it was her turn to blush. How was it that his comment had
just made her the happiest woman on the planet? He thought her big, ungainly
stomach was sexy? If she hadn’t been so deliriously happy, she would’ve called
bullshit but as it was...she just wanted to bask in the happiness. Lord knows,
it wouldn’t last.

* * *

J
USTIN
STARED
IN
AMAZEMENT
as the
doctor moved the ultrasound wand over Lilah’s stomach through a layer of goo.
Immediately a snowy image came onto the screen, though he couldn’t for the life
of him see anything that resembled a human being.

“Two hearts beating strongly,” the doctor observed with a
smile, but his focus seemed on something else that gave Justin’s nerves a pinch
of alarm. But the doctor straightened and nodded as though confirming something
he already suspected. “Lilah, you have fraternal twins, not identical. So each
baby has its own placenta and sac, which alleviates some worry over placenta
issues. Both are right on target and growing perfectly.”

“Fraternal? So...they could be a girl and boy?” Justin
swallowed, tears springing to his eyes. The doctor looked to Lilah for
permission and when she nodded her assent, the doctor grinned and nodded, as
well. Justin swallowed, staring harder at the screen. “Can you...can you tell
if... I mean, what the sex is?”

“Let’s see,” the doctor said, moving the wand around as if
searching. “Ah. There’s one of them...” Justin held his breath and looked
quickly at Lilah, aware that she didn’t want to know. She seemed to be holding
her breath, her eyes wide. “Ah, yes. Okay. Would you like to know the sex of the
babies?”

He wanted to shout,
yes!
But he
held back, waiting for Lilah. He forced himself to settle his anticipation into
a more manageable emotion for fear of crushing poor Lilah’s hand clutched in
his.

“You really want to know?” Lilah asked.

“Yes,” he admitted. “But I’ll wait if you want to. It’ll be a
nice surprise in three months I suppose.” Her reluctant expression told him that
she had her heart set on waiting. He surprised her with a kiss to the hand he
was holding. “Never mind, Doc. I’ve decided it’ll be an awesome surprise for us
both.”

“All right,” the doctor said, smiling. “We’ll wait for the big
reveal at the birth. You know, back in my day, that’s all we had. I like not
knowing. It was always such a huge thrill discovering if it was a boy or a
girl.”

“Are you sure?” she asked.

“Yeah,” he said as if he weren’t dying inside knowing that the
knowledge was right there yet he was denying himself. “It’s only three months. I
can wait.”

She blinked and looked away, presumably to watch the screen but
Justin could’ve sworn he caught the sparkle of tears. The doctor printed out a
few pictures of their babies and handed them to Lilah until she said, “Doctor,
would you mind printing two sets? Justin works out of town and I’m sure he’d
like a picture or two to keep with him to remind him of us.”

Now it was Justin’s turn to choke up. He managed to jerk a nod
to the doctor but he couldn’t manage words. Thankfully, no words were
necessary.

Justin and Lilah left the clinic with their pictures and each
took turns gazing at the snowy, indistinct alien-looking creatures that were in
the process of changing their parents’ lives before they’d even been born.

“They’re...beautiful,” Justin said.

“Really? I thought they looked like lizard people,” Lilah
confessed with a small giggle. “You should’ve seen the first scan at twelve
weeks. They kinda looked like fish.”

Her blithe statement just hit home how much he’d missed. Sure,
they weren’t here yet but the fact that he’d missed anything chafed and he made
a mental vow not to miss another minute. “How about dinner tonight?” he asked,
striving to sound casual.

“You mean, like a date?”

“Yeah, if I recall, I never really got the chance to wine and
dine you properly. As the mother of my children, I believe you’ve earned
it.”

Lilah laughed. “Well, when you put it that way...okay. I will
meet you for dinner but I’m going to make you spring for something expensive
because I’m starving most of the time and you have no idea what it’s like
carrying around two people who do nothing but use your bladder for a
trampoline.”