Somewhere Only We Know (12 page)

He looked down into the glass in his hand and sighed. Maybe he was just too late. He brought the glass to his lips and knocked it back in one gulp. How had his life ended up such a mess?

Kate woke early the next morning. Something had been bothering her about the night before, or more specifically, about Jack. She couldn’t put her finger on it, but she knew something was wrong. Sure, for the most part, he seemed happy the day before, perfectly content to spend time with his family. However, every now and then, Kate thought she saw something that gave her cause for concern.

She thought she saw
him wince as if in pain, on more than one occasion. He would change positions slowly, holding himself tightly, almost as if he was afraid to move. Kate caught his eye a couple of times and gave him a questioning look, but he just gave her a reassuring smile.

She hadn’t wanted to question him in front of his family, but being a doctor,
or at least she used to be
, she could see all the tell-tale signs, that there was definitely something very wrong.

When she got
out of bed, she jumped into the shower, before quickly dressing. She didn’t even bother to have breakfast, instead she chose to go straight to Jack’s house. She needed to check on him for her own peace of mind, if nothing else.

She decided to walk the ten minute
journey to Jack’s house as it was far too beautiful a day to be stuck in a car. When she reached his house, she took a deep breath before she rang the doorbell. She really had no idea what she would say, much less what she was even doing here.

When Jack opened the door, he was surprised but
seemed very pleased to see Kate standing there. He immediately invited her into his home and led her out to his back porch where is was having his breakfast. He grabbed a coffee and a couple of extra croissants for Kate on his way through the kitchen, and insisted she join him for breakfast.

“So,” Jack said when they were both finally seated. “What brings you here this morning?”

“I wanted to see if you were okay,” Kate replied, deciding it was better to get straight to the point. She slipped her wrap from her shoulders and sat it on the small, wooden table in front of her.

“And why
wouldn’t I be okay?” Jack chuckled softly, surprised by her response.

“I think you know what I mean,” she replied, knowing
full well he knew she had noticed something the day before. “Something is wrong, I could see that clearly last night.”

“
Oh, I am just old,” Jack replied and waved his hand dismissively, as he shifted uncomfortably in his seat. “Nothing for you to be worrying about.”

“I think it
’s more than that,” Kate replied with a knowing smile. “Besides Jack, you aren’t that old. I think you are sick but you don’t want your family to know.”

“Do you now,” Jack replied with a half laugh and Kate knew he was trying to make light of the situation and brush her off. “And are you a doctor now
, then?”

“Actually, yes, I am,” Kate replied and instantly regretted it. She was so determined to leave her past behi
nd her, where it belonged, but here she was, blabbing her business. She mentally scolded herself.

“Oh,” was all Jack replied. He sat for a moment staring out over his garden, lost in his thoughts. Kate regretted her direct approach now. She knew she had caught him off guard and now he was panicking.

“Jack, I’m sorry,” Kate said pulling her chair closer to him. “I know what it feels like to want to keep things private. There is so much you don’t know about me and if I am honest, that’s the way I want it to stay, but the truth is, I like you. You remind me so much of my dad. He was the only one who I could turn to without feeling the need to pretend I was okay when really, I wasn’t. I know something is wrong and I know you don’t want Finn or Sara to know. But you should not go through this, whatever this is, alone.”

Jack didn’t reply. He just continued to stare out over his perfectly manicured back yard.

“Jack, let me be the one you talk to,” Kate said reaching over and taking his hand. “I promise, I will never breathe a word to anyone.”

“
There is nothing much to tell really,” Jack said with a deep sigh, finally looking at Kate and the sadness in his eyes almost broke her heart. “I was diagnosed with stage four cancer the day I met you. They said there is nothing they can do. That it is just a matter of time.”

“I am so sorry Jack,” Kate said, giving his hand a soft squeeze.

“It’s okay, honestly,” Jack said giving her a half-hearted smile. “I’m not worried about me, I get to go see my Kathleen. It’s Sara and Finn I worry about. Who will be here to watch over them, once I have gone?”

“And they don’t know?” Kate asked, but she already knew the answer.

“How can I tell them?” Jack asked, looking Kate in the eyes, as he blinked hard, trying to fight back the tears. “Losing their mother, it nearly destroyed them. It nearly destroyed me. How can I tell them, they have to face this again? And this time, I won’t be here to look after them.”

“I think you have raised them well enough that they will be just fine,”
Kate said, trying to reassure this old man sitting in front of her. “I really think that is one thing you don’t have to worry about.”

“You are a good girl, Kate,” Jack said with a smile, patti
ng Kate on the back of her hand. “So, a doctor?”

“Used to be,” Kate replied
, feeling uncomfortable that the spot light was now, suddenly on her.

“Used to be?” he asked.
“I would have thought that was something you couldn’t walk away from easily.”

“It’s
… very complicated,” Kate said. It was now her turn to shift uncomfortably in her seat. Her eye’s dropped to her skirt as she pick invisible fluff from it.

“You know,” Jack said as he watched Kate closely. “I have been known to be a good listener in my time
, too.”

“Oh, you don’t need to he
ar all my nonsense,” Kate said half laughing, as she waved her hand dismissively, trying to make light of things. There was no way, she was going to talk about herself. That was the last thing she wanted to do right now, and the last thing Jack needed to hear was her troubles. “I think you have enough to be worrying about.”

Jack nodded, but studied Kate closely. He knew there was so much more to this girl that was sitting in front of him
, than he really knew, and in his heart, he knew it was something sad. He wondered if he would ever get to know the real Kate Greyson. Would he have the time?

“Jack,” Kate said cautiously pulling him from his thoughts.
“Don’t you think you need to talk to Finn and Sara, give them time to process this news? They love you so much. If it were my dad, I would want to know.”

Before Jack could reply, the sound of Finn’s voice echoed through the house.
Jack gave Kate a pleading look.

“Dad, it
’s just me,” they heard him say, as his voice got closer and closer. “I hope you have the coffee ready, I have so much to tell you. Last night was one of the best nights of my life. When I dropped… Kate!”

He stopped mid-sentence
when he reached the door and seemed really surprised to see Kate sitting on his father’s back porch. He blushed slightly, but then a huge grin filled his face. His eyes dropped to the ground for a moment, but then when he looked back up, his eyes danced as they found Kate’s. When their eyes connected, Kate could feel her heart race and her cheeks flush brightly.

“I’m sorry,” Finn finally said, with a broad smile. “I wasn’t
expecting to find you here.”

“I…eh…I forgot my
wrap,” Kate replied, thinking quickly on her feet. She picked up her wrap she had placed on the table when she arrived a short while before. “Yesterday, I left this behind me.”

Finn looked at her for a moment and Kate’s heart raced even faster.
She thought for a second, he didn’t believe her, but then he smiled and Kate felt herself relax.

“You should have called,” Finn said moving closer to Jack and Kate, then, taking the seat next to Kate
, he gave her a cheeky grin. “I could have dropped it by for you.”

“Oh lord!” Jack sighed and laughed as he stood up. “Wipe your chin son, you’re drooling.”

Kate’s blush deepened, but she couldn’t help but smile and then laugh when she saw the look of horror on Finn’s face, that his dad actually said that to him.

“Dad!” Finn said, pouting like a little boy. This just made Kate laugh harder.

“Come on, Romeo,” Jack replied without missing a beat. “Help me clear these things away.” Finn glanced at Kate and gave her a smile before he stood up and followed his father.

It was almost midday
when Kate kissed Jack on the cheek and promised she would drop by very soon. They shared a knowing glance and each knew that their secrets would be kept safe.

Finn, of course, insisted on walking Kate back home. Her heart almost stopped when, as they walked, Finn reached down and took hold of her hand. When she glanced up a
t him and met his gaze, he gave her an uncertain smile, as if he was checking that what he was doing was okay. She returned his smile, giving him the permission he was searching for.

They walked for a couple of minutes in silence and it felt comfor
table and easy. It was Finn who was the first one to speak.

“So,” he began, nervously glancing at Kate as he searched for the
right words to say. “Are you going to tell me why you really called into my dad today?”

Kate could feel the blood drain from her face. She was never a good liar, but she thought that he had believed her when s
he said she had called for her scarf.

“I told you,” she swallowed nervously before she continued. “I forgot my
wrap.”

“See that’s the thing,” Finn said looking directly at Kate. “I remember what you wore yesterday, because I remember thinking no one had ever looked
more breath-taking than you did, when you stepped out of the car. You didn’t have a wrap.”

“I…um… I,” Kate struggled, trying to think of a reply, but nothing came.

“I’m sorry,” Finn said, stopping and turning to Kate. “I didn’t mean to put you on the spot. It is okay for you to visit my dad whenever you want. I was just curious.”

He leaned down and softly kiss
ed Kate, then, pulling back slightly, he smiled at her.

“Would you like to go grab a coffee?” he asked, looking at Kate hopefully. “I know this great little coffee
shop not too far from here. They make the nicest biscotti you will ever taste.

“You mean, right now,” Kate asked, a little surprised by his request. They had just spent the morning together, so she was surprised he wanted to spend more time with her.

“Eh, yeah,” he laughed. “That’s what, would you like to go grab a coffee, usually means. Unless you have other plans.”

“No,” she said with a grin. “I have no other plans. I would love to go for a coffee.”

“Great,” Finn replied happily. “This day off is proving to be a lot more fun than I had thought it would be.”

Finn reached for Kate’s hand and headed for the local coffee shop. Kate couldn’t help but smile at the big, satisfied look on his face.

Kate’s head was filled with so many different thoughts right in that moment. She thought about Jack and about his secret, as she glanced over at Finn, she wondered how he would take the news of his father’s illness.

She thought about her own father, what
she would do if he was sick. She tried not to dwell on that for too long. She had already suffered enough loss in her life. She prayed she wouldn’t have to face that again for a long time to come.

Finally, she thought about Callum, she wondered what he would think if he knew she was going for coffee with another man.

It’s just coffee!
She mentally scolded herself. She was doing nothing wrong. Besides, she and Callum were over, even if he hadn’t accepted that fact yet.

Then the thought occurred to her. Callum hadn’t called her in two days. He had called her endlessly for three weeks, even though she never answered, still he never gave up. That was until now. She tried not to notice the tiny pang of sadness she felt at this fact. Clearly, he had finally gotten the message. They were over.

When they reached the coffee shop, the girl behind the counter greeted Finn very warmly. Kate thought, probably a little too warmly and she wondered if there was some kind of history between the two.

“H
ey Sophie, how’s Cooper?” Finn asked the girl as she gathered up the menus and made her way around the counter.

“He is getting a big as a house,” she laughed. “Still eating my shoes. He is due a check-up in a couple of weeks”

She smiled brightly at Kate and led them both to a table near the window.

“
I will just leave you both to have a look at the menus and I will be right back to take your order,” she said and Kate noticed, that she pressed her hand on Finn’s upper arm, leaving it there a little longer than she really should have. It was clear, this girl liked Finn.

Kate couldn’t help but think that
Finn should be here with someone more like Sophie. Someone who clearly felt about Finn, in a way Kate knew she couldn’t. The way she had once felt about Callum.

She tried to push
all these thoughts from her head and enjoy a coffee with a friend, nothing more. How she did or didn’t feel about Finn was irrelevant. She quickly picked up the menu and stared at it, trying to focus on that and nothing else.

“Are you okay?” He asked, looking at her strangely.

“Yeah,” she replied, giving him the biggest smile she could. “I’m just trying to decide on what to order. I can’t decide if I want a blueberry muffin or give this famous biscotti a go.”

“Why not be a rebel,” Finn leaned forward and mock whispered. “Order both.”

Kate laughed out loud and finally felt herself relax.

When Sophie came back, Finn ordered two lattes, two blueberry muffins and two
of the biscotti.

“So, who is Cooper and why is he eating her shoe
s?” Kate asked when Sophie brought them their order and had left them alone once again.

Finn laughed out loud as he broke
off a bit of his biscotti and popped it into his mouth.

“Cooper, is her Great Dane,” he explained when he swallowed his food. “He is almost a year old and he has
eaten through over a dozen pairs of her shoes now.”

“Oh dear,” Kate laughed. “So, what made you want to be a vet?”

“Well my mom was a receptionist in the local vets,” Finn replied. “As a kid, I spent all my free time down at the practise. I love animals, so it seemed like the natural progression.”

“What did your dad do?” she asked
, wanting to know more about Finn and his family.

“He was a school teacher,” Finn told her. “Everybody loved him in the school. He retired when Mom got sick. He wanted to spend as much time with her as he could.”

Finn didn’t say anything else for a moment and Kate could see the sadness in his eyes. She knew he still missed his mom and she wondered how he would deal with the fact he was going to lose his dad too.

“How long was your mom sick for?” Kate asked, unsure if she should push it or not.

“Not quite four months,” Finn replied. “And they passed so quickly, too quickly.”

“I can imagine,”
Kate replied.

“What about you,” Finn asked
looking straight at Kate. “What about your folks? Are they still back in Ireland?”

“My dad is,” Kate replied. “So are my twin brothers Dara and Shea. My
mom died when I was eighteen. It was about two weeks before Christmas, we were going shopping to buy Dad his Christmas present. We were just heading out the door and she said she forgot her purse. She ran back upstairs to get it. That’s when I heard a crash and when I went up to check on her, she was face down on her bedroom floor. They said it was a brain haemorrhage.”

“Oh Kate,” Finn replied sadly. “That must have been so horrible for you.”

“It was hard,” Kate said and took a sip of her coffee. “Especially on the twins, they were only thirteen when she died. But it was a long time ago now.”

“Still must have been hard for you,” Finn repli
ed, as he picked at his muffin.

“Yeah I guess, but you learn to adapt,” Kate said and thought about how
, what she said, was complete crap. When you lose someone you love, there is no adapting, there is simply just carrying on, and it doesn’t matter how hard you try or how much time you give yourself, you don’t adapt. You just learn to live with the pain, because it never goes away.

There isn’t a day that goes by, that she doesn’t think of her mother and wish she was still with her. Especially after she lost Emily, she wish
ed her mom was there to tell her what to do, how to cope, how to move on.

Then Emily filled her thoughts.
She hasn’t even begun to learn how to deal with the loss of her beautiful little girl, and in her heart she knew, she never would. She will always wonder what she would have become, what she would think of different things.

Then she thought about all the things she w
ould never get to do. She would never go to college, she would never have her first kiss, she would never have her heart broken, and she would never fall in love.

Kate quickly shut those thoughts down but she could feel her chest tighten and her breathe become a little quicker.

“Excuse me,” she said, as she stood up suddenly. “I…eh… I need to use the bathroom.”

Before Finn could reply, Kate hurried towards the back of the restaurant, hoping she was going in the right directions to the ladies toilets. Thankfully, she had.

She hurried into the bathroom and straight into a cubical, locking the door behind her. By now, her heart was racing so fast she was sure it was about to burst out of her chest.

She sa
t on the loo, closed her eyes and tried to concentrate on her breathing. The last thing she wanted to do was lose it in a busy restaurant.

She could hear her heart beat in her ears, so she concentrated on that and
her breathing until she could feel herself begin to calm down. She refused to give into the tears that were stinging her eyes.

Finally, she was breathing normally again and felt ready to go and face Finn once again. She pulled some tissue from the dispenser and blew her nose. She stood up and threw the tissue into the toilet, hit the flush, then straightened her clothes before she opened the latch.

When the door opened, she froze in complete shock when she saw Finn standing there, leaning against the sink with his arms crossed and a strange look on his face.

Kate stepped out from the bathroom stall and wa
lked to the sink next to where Finn was standing, to wash her hands.

“Are you okay? Finn asked, turning so he was looking straight down at Kate.

“I’m fine,” Kate lied. “Do you often make it a habit of following women into public bathrooms?”

“Only the woman who drive me crazy,” Finn replied with a half laugh, but he was still watching Kate very closely. “So, are you going to tell me what that was all about?”

“All what?” Kate asked, looking him in the eye.

“Kate,
I know there is a lot about you I don’t know.” Finn said, pulling her closer to him. “I know there is something you are not telling me. I just want to say you can trust me and that if there was anything at all, you wanted to talk about, I am happy to listen.”

“Finn,” Kate said, as she reached up and brush
ed a loose strand of hair from his face. “I am not the girl for you. You deserve someone like Sophie out there. Someone who is happy and uncomplicated. You don’t want me. No one wants me.”

“How about you let me be the judge of that,” he said and he pulled her closer to him and calmed her mouth with his.

He pressed his hand against the small of her back and she could feel how much he wanted her. Kate finally stopped fighting it. She slipped her hand up his broad chest and around his neck. She kissed him harder and deeper.

“Wow,” he said when they finally broke away, breathlessly, from each other.

“What the hell am I doing?” Kate asked as Finn leaned down and pressed his forehead to hers. “This is complete madness.”

“I think you are stealing my heart, Ms
. Greyson,” Finn replied and looked deep into Kate’s eyes.

“You don’t want to fall in love with me, Finn,” Kate pleaded. “There is so much about me you don’t know, so much that I just can’t begin to find the words to tell you.”

“It doesn’t matter what you say,” Finn replied as he inched closer to her once again. “The only thing that matters to me is you.”

Before she could answer, he clai
med her mouth with his once more.

An hour later, as they were walking back towards Kate’s house, Finn reached down and took Kate’s hand once again.

She looked up and smiled at him. He really was the sweetest guy she had ever met.

They came to a set of traffic lights, and they stood side by side waiting for the light to change so they could cross.

Finn bent down and brushed his lips against Kate’s.

“You really are very beautiful Katie,” he whispered. Kate froze at his words. He had called her Katie. The only person that had ever called her Katie
, was Callum.

What the hell am I doing?
She thought to herself.
You are playing with fire. What will he think of you, when he finds out the truth?

“I can’t do this,” she said. Then w
ithout saying another word, she turned and headed towards her house, her speed picking up with every step.

“Kate, wait” Finn called out as he hurried after her but she didn’t slow down. “Have I said something
wrong?”

She didn’t reply.

“KATE, STOP,” Finn yelled as he reached her and took hold of her arm. “Talk to me.”

“There is nothing to say,” Kate said, refusing to let her eyes meet his. “Just…just forget about me Finn. I am
not who you think I am. You really don’t want to go there, trust me.”

Before he could answer her, she turned and walked away. This time he didn’t follow her and for that
, Kate was grateful.

By the time she reached her house, she could feel a panic attack take hold
once again. She rushed inside, slamming the door behind her. She somehow manage to reach the sofa as she gasped for air, her chest tightening and her heart racing faster and faster, like it was about to burst out of her chest.

Kate closed her eyes and concentrated on her breathing. When
it finally began to settle down, it gave way to tears. She buried her face in her hands and sobbed.

She wasn’t really sure why she was crying. The truth was, it was a dozen different reasons. She missed Callum, she missed her beautiful Emily so much it was unbearable. She was sad for Jack and for his family. What they were facing was such a hard journey, and one they didn’t deserve.

Finally she cried for Finn. She liked him, she really did, and Kate knew he liked her. However, she knew if she didn’t stop it now, someone would get hurt. She wasn’t the person he thought she was. She wasn’t the person he deserved.

If she was being really honest, she knew her heart could never be truly his because it belonged to Callum. It always would.