Sophie Under Pressure (8 page)

“I can't figure out why they're all of a sudden picking on you,” Fiona said to Sophie. “Up 'til, like, two weeks ago, they acted like we didn't even exist.”

“I wish they still did,” Kitty said.

“Let's just pretend THEY don't exist,” Sophie said. “That's how we'll handle them. It isn't bad to leave them out and not be friendly to them and stuff. They're boys.”

Besides, there was the space station to think about. They had to give a progress report in science that afternoon, and Maggie had their plan.

“I'm just gonna go ask her for it,” Fiona said when they got to P.E.

Sophie had a sudden vision of another almost-fistfight right there on the playground.

“No — I'll think of something — scientific,” she said. “I'm the captain.”

A basketball bounced by, and as Fiona turned to run after it, she murmured to Sophie, “Pretty soon, it's just going to be the original Corn Flakes again.” The smile she gave Sophie wasn't Fiona-luscious.

Sophie's thoughts went straight for Captain Stella, but she was barely able to get her into focus when the basketball suddenly knocked her in the head and set her on her tail on the concrete. It was Maggie who pulled her up and asked her if she was okay.

“I'm fine,” Sophie said.

“Let me look at your eyes,” Maggie said.

Sophie stared as Maggie squinted critically into her face.

“I don't think you have a concussion,” she said.

“How do you know, Nimbus?” Fiona said.

“I have a first-aid card. My mom and I went to a class together.”

“Wow,” Kitty said. “That's cool.”

First aid. Suddenly, Sophie had an idea.

“I know you're upset about my decision yesterday, Nimbus,” she said. “But I want you to consider the whole crew. With your medical knowledge, you could actually save our lives if we got into trouble.”

Maggie hesitated for a minute, pressing her lips together.

“I would need to put my first-aid kit in the space station,” she said.

“Of course,” Captain Stella said. “Anything you need. Right, Expedition Crew?”

Kitty looked at Fiona. Even though Fiona pulled her lips into a knot, she finally nodded.

Sophie was feeling better about everything when she got into the Suburban that afternoon so Mama could take her to see Dr. Peter. At LAST. And when Mama smiled at her, she felt even better.

“Hey, Dream Girl,” Mama said. “I want to thank you for helping with Zeke this morning. I know I haven't been myself lately, and you gave me a little lift.”

Does that mean you aren't leaving us?
Sophie wanted to say. Instead, she said, “I'll help any time you want, Mama. I could give him his bath and read him books and clean up his room — ”

Mama gave her a blank stare before she smiled again. “Don't overdo it, Sophie,” she said. “You'll have me thinking you're trying to butter me up for something!” She squeezed Sophie's knee. “Now — how was your day? Anything exciting happen?”

The incident with Eddie and the peas ran through Sophie's head, chased by the scene with Ms. Quelling in the cafeteria. She would tell Mama about that later, when she knew she was completely better. When she started making good lunches again and coming to tuck Sophie in at night.

But Sophie did bring it up with Dr. Peter the minute she was settled in on his window seat and had one of his face pillows on her lap. She chose the one with the fuzzy blue hair so she could comb her fingers through it and not chew her own hair while she talked.

“Whoa, Sophie-Lophie-Loodle,” Dr. Peter said. “Start from the beginning. Tell me all about this Captain Stella Stratos.” His twinkly blue eyes shone through the lenses of his wire-rimmed glasses. It was one of about a thousand things she liked about him. He wore glasses too, and he was still about the most awesome grown-up she knew.

Sophie launched into a detailed account of Captain Stella and the space station and her recent issues with her crew. The whole time, Dr. Peter watched her and nodded his head of cut-short, reddish brown hair. When she was finished, Dr. Peter picked up the face pillow with the orange puffs of hair that came out of its nostrils.

“Sounds like our Loodle is going off to Sophie World in school again,” he said to it. “What do you think?”

The pillow nodded. Dr. Peter looked at Sophie. “Why is that?”

“Because we have to get our project done. It's very complex. It requires a lot of concentration.”

“You haven't by any chance forgotten your agreement with your dad, have you?”

“You mean only going into Sophie World when I'm filming?” Sophie sighed. “I am filming. AND I'm imagining Jesus. But it's not helping.”

“Okay,” Dr. Peter said. “You want to do a treasure hunt and find out why?”

That was another reason she liked Dr. Peter. He never even looked like he thought she was loony tunes.

“Okay,” she said. “Only, could we make it like exploring outer space instead? I'm really into that right now.”

“Of course. Silly me,” he said. “Now — I want you to close your eyes and imagine you're going through space in your capsule.”

That was easy. Stars and planets began to zip by in her mind.

“Now, as you know, Captain,” he went on, “sometimes meteors go through space and leave a trail of debris on things they hit.”

“Is any of it going to hit my capsule?” Sophie said.

“It may. If that happens, you need to stop and see what it was and how much damage it has done. Then you can decide if you can fix it.”

“Yes, sir,” Sophie said.

“All right, proceed through space and let me know when something collides with your craft.”

Sophie opened one eye. “What if I ask Jesus not to let anything hit me?”

“You can ask that. But it might be better to ask him to keep you from being damaged when something hits you. Outer space is filled with flying objects for reasons we don't even understand — even though we're scientists. Being strong enough to handle them all is what we need to ask for.”

Sophie closed her eyes again and almost immediately she imagined something hitting square in the middle of the space capsule's window.

“Reduce speed, Captain, and let's examine it.”

“Do I open my eyes?” Sophie said.

“Whatever helps you see best.”

Sophie kept her eyes squeezed shut and let herself imagine the big rock that had split apart against the space-worthy glass.

“What do you think it is?” Dr. Peter said.

“I can't tell.”

She could picture Dr. Peter's nose wrinkling to push up his glasses. “It looks to me like a piece of a family,” he said.

“A family? You mean, like, people?”

“It's more like an idea of a family.”

“Oh,” Sophie said. “And it came apart.”

Suddenly, she felt squirmy, and her chest hurt.

“Permission to move on, Huntsville,” Sophie said. “I have decided my capsule wasn't damaged.”

“Loodle,” Dr. Peter said. He was using his soft come-back-to-earth voice.

Sophie hugged the pillow to her chest and opened her eyes.

“I don't want to talk about families falling apart, Dr. Peter,” she said.

“Is that because you're afraid your family is falling apart?”

Sophie nodded.

“You want to tell me about it?”

No, she didn't. But the words came out anyway, in one big blurt.

“Zeke is acting out all over the place like he's Terrible Two again,” she said. “Lacie is being all weird about boys. Daddy says I'm the only sane one left in the family.”

“What about your father? Is he being ‘all weird'?”

Sophie shook her head. “We're getting along better than ever in my whole entire life.” She hugged the pillow until its nose dug into her stomach. She knew what Dr. Peter's next question was going to be.

“And how about your mama?” he said.

“I think she's gonna leave us! She hardly laughs or talks, and she acts like she's always mad at Daddy. And it's all my fault!”

“Your fault?” Dr. Peter said. “You want to tell me why you think that?”

“Daddy told me if I kept making good grades and staying out of trouble, she would feel better. That's why I didn't tell her about what happened today. She might just pack her suitcase and go. I would hate it without her. She's my mama!”

Sophie didn't realize until then that she was crying. Dr. Peter handed her a Kleenex out of a box with moons and stars on it.

Sophie plastered one over her eyes and cried into it some more. Dr. Peter just waited. When she looked up at him, he was studying her carefully.

“You know, Loodle,” he said, “I almost never tell you that you're wrong.”

“Are you going to now?” Sophie said.

“I am.” He leaned forward. “You are so wrong about anything between your mother and father being your fault. Or Zeke's, or Lacie's.”

“But I don't want her to leave for any reason. I'm trying to fix it. I'm helping with Zeke when he starts acting like a little brat, and I'm not fighting with Lacie. But I already miss Mama, and she isn't even gone yet.”

Dr. Peter nodded. “Do you feel like she's gone because she isn't with you like she used to be with you?”

“Yes!” Sophie said.

“You know something, Loodle?” he said. “You sometimes know things about people they haven't even figured out about themselves.”

Sophie felt the pain in her chest again. “Then she is going to leave. I have to stop her!”

“Now hang on,” Dr. Peter said. “All I'm saying is that you seem to understand that she is taking a little mental trip right now, just like you do when you get scared about things and go into Sophie World.”

“What's she scared of?” Sophie said.

“That I can't tell you. But I think you're the best person in the house to understand about wanting to escape.”

Sophie straightened her shoulders. “I can help her then.

I'll give her a signal when she starts drifting off, like Fiona coughs when she sees me zoning out in school.”

Dr. Peter's face grew serious. “I don't want you to try to fix your mother, okay, Loodle? First of all, that isn't your job. It's God's.”

“But I keep asking him to fix it and he doesn't!”

“I think he's working on it. In fact, I'm sure of it. What do you say we let him do his job and you do yours? Just like the astronauts on your crew.”

“But what's my job?” Sophie said.

Dr. Peter's eyes twinkled again. “I think it's time to get to know Jesus a little bit better so you can see how God handles stuff like this.”

“Back to the Bible,” Sophie said.

“You're brilliant,” Dr. Peter said, handing her a piece of paper with Bible verses written on it. “That must be why they made you captain of the spaceship. Now remember, read the story and imagine yourself playing one of the parts.”

“I can do that.”

“Yes, you can. And I'm going to give you a little hint — pay attention to what the little kid does and what Jesus does with that.”

“Roger,” Sophie said.

She wasn't crying when she left Dr. Peter's office. She had the Bible verses tucked in her pocket, and a new idea tucked in her head.

It's like another mission. God is Huntsville
,
and I'm flying the space capsule.

She was almost smiling when she met Daddy in the waiting room. One look at his face, though, and the desire to grin shattered like a piece of space debris. His mouth was in a tight line she hadn't seen there since the last time she was in big trouble.

Eight

D
addy didn't say anything until they got into the truck, and Sophie didn't ask him any questions. But as soon as he pulled out into Hampton traffic, he said, “I thought we had a deal.”

Sophie readjusted her glasses to peer at him. “We do!” she said. “I'm not even making any C's right now.”

“You will be soon if you pull another stunt like you did in school today.”

A mental picture of Julia showing up at the LaCroix's front door telling all flashed through Sophie's mind.

“Ms. Quelling called to tell me that you almost tackled somebody to catch a pea some kid shot out of a straw, just to get the kid in trouble.”

“That isn't what happened!” Sophie said.

“I know that isn't what happened. What happened was you got so wrapped up in one of your daydreams you started acting it out, and suddenly there you were, sprawled out on the floor with a smashed vegetable in your hand.” Daddy pulled up to a red light and lowered his eyebrows at her. “That's what happened, right?”

“Yes!” Sophie said. “But it won't happen again. I promise.”

“Do you need a little reminder? Do I need to take the camera away for a while?”