Soul Chance (17 page)

“Aww. Don’t worry about any of them. You’re a star. Go shine! And call me the moment you finish, okay?”

“Okay. Love you.”

“Love you back.”

Ari sighed as she ended the call. Jay always brightened her mood. She’d tried to hide the black cloud hanging over her but Jay had sensed it the instant she’d answered his call. Ari had managed to successfully change the subject with the news of her trying out for the vocal talent show. She wasn’t ready to talk about anything else. She’d held back from telling Jay she would be coming back to Vegas, wanting to avoid the questions she knew would ensue.

Ari slipped her phone back into her small bag and her fingers brushed against the Taser she’d brought along. She sighed, berating her jumpiness. She didn’t normally carry the weapon but had decided to bring it at the last minute when she’d seen how many people were coming out for the auditions on the news.

Ari placed her bag into the locker in front of her and locked it. She headed back to her designated area, passing crooners and wannabe divas practicing in the hall. Her pulse quickened as her group was ushered into a small back room. She followed the instructions of a frazzled production assistant who broke them up into pairs.

Sooner than she would have anticipated, Ari was standing backstage. She clutched the curtain as the singer ahead of her received thunderous applause. How fair was it to have to audition right after Celine Dion’s clone had sang?

Not fair at all.

Ari smoothed a hand over her aqua dress. She reached up and touched her hair, still adjusting to her new natural do. Ari couldn’t help but wonder what Ryder would think when he saw it. Just knowing she’d see him in a few moments was sending her heart rate into chaotic overdrive.

The audience quieted, and Ari tuned into the judges as they gave their critiques. She clutched her hands when she heard Ryder’s deep voice. She wished she’d not chickened out the night before when she’d tried to call to tell him she was coming to audition. He would have known exactly what to say, musician to musician, to bolster her confidence. A few words from him would’ve given her the courage she needed.

Ari forced her hands at her side, wishing she hadn’t relied on liquid courage before arriving at the sound stage instead. She silently questioned her decision to have not one but two long island iced teas. She knew better, and although she’d drank them almost an hour and a half ago, she still felt some of the effects of the liquor in her system.

Ari blew out a tight breath. She’d just been so damned nervous, which wasn’t like her. Singing was the one thing she knew she could do, but she’d felt off her game for a while and it all had to do with her feelings for Ryder.

“You’re up next.”

Ari jumped when the production assistant tapped her on the shoulder and pointed for her to go audition.

“Good luck!”

Ari parted her lips to say thanks but couldn’t utter a sound as she moved forward. She stepped onto the stage, unnerved by the bright lights and sea of faceless singers waiting for their chance to shine seated in the audience. Her purple stilettos clacked loudly on the wooden flooring and her legs felt wobbly as she walked up to the mic.

The auditorium was bigger than she’d imagined and it seemed as if every seat in the place was filled. Ari blinked and focused on the panel of four celebrity judges, each a mega star in their own right. Her tummy somersaulted when she locked eyes with Ryder.

“What’s your name, love?”

Ari tore her gaze off of Ryder to look at Emma, the British pop star who’d asked her the question. “Ari. Ari Dax.”

“Welcome to the show, Ari. What are you going to sing for us tonight?”

Ari swallowed, wishing she had a glass of water to quench her dry throat. “I… I’m going to sing an original love song.”

Emma nodded. “Whenever you’re ready then.”

This was her moment. This was her chance. Ari drew in a breath and started to sing the song she’d sung in front of Ryder. She could hear his accompaniment in her head as she poured her heart into the lyrics. Her voice filled the space, every note amplified and echoing throughout the hall as Ari went on telling the tale of a woman afraid to love the man she loved because of the pain she believed might come in surrendering her all.

Ari’s vision blurred, obscuring the judges’ table. The woman in the song was her. How had she not realized that? It was so clear now. She’d written the song for Ryder, because of her love for him, and he didn’t even know how much she cared. Ari’s throat constricted and she faltered, losing track of where she was in the ballad. She tried to pick up where she’d left off but her voice cracked.

Emma held up her hand. “That’s enough, Ari. Thank you.”

Emotional, Ari simply nodded, not trusting herself to speak. She trembled as she watched Ryder talk with the judges.

Emma gave her a bright smile. “I’ve been designated to go first.” She acknowledged the cheers from the crowd behind their table. “Ari, you have a wonderful instrument. I enjoyed listening to you. You made me believe the story you were telling in your song. You had some trouble there at the end but I think you have what it takes to be in this competition. It’s a yes from me.”

“Thank you so much.” Ari wasn’t sure how she got those four words out as Emma pointed to Gary, front man for a successful alternative band.

“Ari, you have a lovely voice but you seemed distracted. Were you?”

Ari made a conscious effort not to fidget as she smiled. “It was a little nerve-wracking coming out here and singing in front of you all.”

Gary raised an eyebrow. “I understand, but that’s what you’d have to do every night on this show. I’m not sure you’re up to the task but I’m game to find out. It’s a yes for me for callbacks. What do you think, Candy?”

The female rapper sighed. “I think you’re a little green around the gills, boo. Talented, yes, but we all know it takes
more
than mad skills to be a star. We’re looking for stars here on the show and I’m not convinced yet. It’s a yes from me for callbacks too. Ryder, what do you think?”

Ari looked at Ryder, her heart pounding in her chest.

“Ari, you have a talent that can’t be denied. Your voice is beautiful, very marketable, but your performance left me questioning whether or not you are ready for this. Did you come out here and give us a one hundred percent tonight?”

Ari wet her bottom lip, finding it hard to hold Ryder’s steady gaze. “I tried.”

“Yes or no?”

Ari blinked back tears, determined not to lose it in front of Ryder and a hundred other people staring at her. “I wasn’t a hundred percent.”

“I see.” Ryder glanced down at his notes. “It’s going to be a yes from me for callbacks too. You’ll get a chance to sing and bring you’re A game for us later. We’ll make a decision at that time. Thank you for auditioning with us this evening, Ari.”

Ari forced a smile. “Thank you, judges, for the opportunity.” She waved then walked off stage to applause, numbly giving best wishes to the male singer waiting in the wings. She made her way to her locker and retrieved her purse in a numb fog. Ari gave mechanical responses the singers she passed, grateful to finally push through the door leading outside the auditorium. The baritone’s rich voice wafted through the doors as he auditioned, propelling Ari toward the exit. She didn’t want to hear another note.

Once outside, Ari drew in a few deep breaths, ignoring the curious looks from people strolling by. She started walking, going nowhere fast in her high heels. She’d known it would be difficult seeing Ryder again, but she hadn’t known she’d freeze up in front of him.

Callbacks?
Ari hailed a cab. There was no way she could get back on that stage and sing in front of Ryder—not with her heart torn in a million little pieces.

* * * *

Ryder rapped hard on the door of the beach house. He had a key but didn’t want to bust in on Ari unannounced. It was late as hell but he didn’t give a damn. He’d been surprised and thrilled to see Ari walk out on that stage, gorgeous in her pretty dress and with a sexy new do. Desire had surged through Ryder’s blood when he’d seen he’d been right about Ari wearing her natural hair. The fact that Ari had trusted his advice and tried a different style delighted him. Any questions he had about what she meant to him had evaporated as he’d watched her take her place in front of the microphone.

He’d noticed she was jumpy right away. He’d fought the need to leap out of his seat, go to her and kiss away her nerves. Instead, he’d silently rooted for her from the moment she began her audition. Listening to Ari perform the song she’d shared with him had twisted his gut with need, and seeing her lose her concentration had been brutal. He’d given Ari an honest critique, fully expecting her to rise to the occasion and rock it during callbacks. He’d been disappointed when Ari hadn’t shown up. His discontentment had morphed into what he knew was unjustifiable anger at her decision.

A light came on in the hall then Ryder heard the lock turn. The door opened to reveal Ari looking more awake than he’d expected, dressed in a white tank top and the skimpiest boy shorts Ryder had ever seen.

“What are you doing here?” Ari stifled a yawn. “And what’s with the King Kong knocking when you have a key?”

“Why weren’t you at callbacks?”

Ari folded her arms. “I wasn’t there because I wasn’t there.”

“That’s
not
an answer.” Ryder pushed past her, stepped inside and the screen door slammed behind him.

“No”—Ari leaned against the doorframe—“I suppose it isn’t, but it’s the only one I’m willing to give you.”

“Dammit, Ari, you should’ve come back. All of the judges—including me—were ready to put you through to the next round. All you had to do was show up, and you didn’t.” Ryder shook his head, ignoring the emotion stirring in Ari’s brown eyes. “I know I don’t have a right showing up here and ranting about your decision, but I have to know your reasoning for skipping out on an opportunity of a lifetime. It couldn’t have been because you felt the odds of winning a competition like this were too great for you. We both know how much you like to gamble.” Ryder scratched his jaw as Ari dropped her face from his. “I swear, I just don’t get why you didn’t bet on your talent, take the risk and finish your audition. If there was one thing in your life that you should’ve followed through with, it was this.”

Strained silence followed as Ryder stared at Ari, wishing she’d say something.

“Are you done?” Ari’s voice was as hollow as Ryder’s heart when she reluctantly met his gaze.

The sheen of tears glimmering in Ari’s eyes set every one of Ryder’s nerves on edge. He took a step toward her then tightened his jaw when Ari took a step back. “I am. Goodbye, Ari.”

Ryder didn’t wait for her to respond. He turned and exited through the screen door, wanting to smash something, anything to avoid examining the shattered pieces inside him.

Chapter Thirteen

“That’s it, Ari.” Jay went over to the window and opened the curtains. “You are going to tell me what the hell is going on with you right this minute. I can’t take another minute watching you waste away on my couch.”

“I’m not wasting away. I’m resting.” Ari groaned as she lifted her head off the soft cushion she’d been dreaming was her own personal cloud of misery to float on. “What time is it?”

“It’s time for you to give it to me straight.” Her brother joined her on the loveseat, pushing her feet forward so he could sit back. “Did you ever call Erin back?”

“I was going to do that today.”

“Right.” Jay snorted. “You’ve gone from party girl to hermit. What gives, Ari?”

“I thought you’d be happy to see me staying in for a change.” Ari rubbed her eyes. “What are you even doing here? I thought you had dinner plans with Red.”

Jay gave her a wry look at the use of his nickname for Shannon. “I do, but I told her I was going to stop by here first and check on you. I was hoping not to find you lying in the same position.”

Ari sighed. “Sorry to disappoint ya.”

“You’ve been back for two weeks and I haven’t seen you do much else than mope and listen to that damn song on your phone…which is off the chain by the way, but
Ari
.” Jay blew out a breath. “If I have to listen to it. One. More. Time.”

Ari smiled in spite of her sadness. “Hey, you’ve only heard it a few times. I know it may look like I’ve been doing nothing, but I have two interviews tomorrow for singing gigs with two different casinos.” She gestured around her brother’s former bachelor pad. “I’ve been keeping it spotless around here, and I sent you the money for this month’s rent.”

“I know you’ve been searching for a job, and I did get the money.” Jay tapped her knee. “I don’t care about the cash, or the shape of my condo. Well, I
do
care, but that’s not the reason I’m here. I want to know what’s going on with you. I know it’s more than the audition that went wrong.” Her brother patted her leg. “C’mon. You’ll feel better if you get it off your chest. No matter what you have
not
said…I know this melancholy funk has something to do with Ryder.”

“You’re right. It does.” Ari sat up and proceeded to tell Jay the PG rated version of what had happened between her and Ryder, leaving out the details of their last conversation. She stared at her brother as he rubbed his bald head, wanting to hear his take on things.

Ari stared at Jay, waiting for him to speak, then burst up off the couch. “Well? What do you think about all of this? Please don’t keep me in suspense.”

“I think you’re in love with Ryder Stevens.”

Ari sat back down on the loveseat and slumped against the cushions with an exaggerated groan.

“Uh huh.” Jay chuckled. “The all-consuming flurry of emotions that makes it hard to think? It’s proof positive that you’re in love and I believe Ryder has fallen for you too. Things have gotten messy.” Her brother waved a hand. “That’s all normal. Most importantly, it’s all fixable…if you’re willing to be vulnerable.”

“I’m already vulnerable.”

“But you haven’t shown that to him.”