Souls of Fire (41 page)

“I … was … focusing on…” he hesitated, clearly having a very hard time getting this out, “… on … not wanting you so badly,” a helpless groan escaped his mouth just as I felt a very large bulge form at my rear.

Oh my God, is that what I think it is?
I wondered panicked.

“I’m sorry …,” Aidan managed, clearly embarrassed, “… but why did you have to send such … vibes!”

“Hey,
you 
were the one who wanted me to sleep with you … I … meant … not sleep … with … but … in your sleeping bag.

And … I … it’s not like I did it on purpose, you know …,” I finished lamely, trying to explain myself but completely failing to get my mind and tongue out of the gutter. I just kept blurting out the worst possible words.

“I told you it was a bad idea!” I spat defensively.

“The worst … ever,” Aidan agreed softly, his lips brushing my ear as he did so.

His hand slid softly over my thigh and along my waistline, coming to rest on the bare skin of my stomach right beneath my navel. My insides churned so badly, I could feel my muscles spasms uncontrollably underneath his hand.

“God, I want you,” Aidan whispered in my ear, his rumbling voice deep and sensual.

I couldn’t breathe, my senses so focused on the movement of his hand on my trembling body.

“Aidan,” I whispered back desperately, “we … we can’t … do this.”

“Does that mean you
want
to?” Aidan suddenly asked, his thumb slowly stroking over my skin, sending shivers down my spine.

“As if you didn’t already know,” I replied somewhat grudgingly.

“What can I say, I wanted to hear you say it,” Aidan explained.

“Well, I won’t,” I answered hastily, not wanting to give him an incentive to continue touching me … or worse.

“But you just admitted to it,” Aidan argued.

“You’re right. But that’s not what I meant,” I tried to explain it the best I could.

“Here’s the deal,” I continued, “I … want you … but you know as well as I do, that you and I can never happen. But if we ever do get past … our destiny … and I feel then what I feel now … I … I will tell you. I will tell you that I want you. Until I do … please don’t make me … want you even more.”

Yes, my hormones were screaming at me to jump his bones, but the voice in my head that belonged to my conscience wouldn’t just let me throw caution to the winds like this … not after everything Malcolm had revealed about our destiny.

And then there was also the fact that I would forfeit any future I might have with Aaron if we ever actually found a way to undo the curse. And in all honesty, at this point I couldn’t tell which of the brothers had made a bigger dent in my heart.

Before I came to terms with my own feelings, I couldn’t make such a significant decision. Once I chose to be with one of them, the other would forever be off-limits.

Aidan’s hand slowly left my stomach. Without a word, he turned onto his other side, away from me.

We lay in silence after that, and I couldn’t get over the feeling that I had just hurt him, though I couldn’t explain it. It wasn’t as if he was in love with me … was he in love with me? That was insane, he couldn’t be.

Or had I just seriously wounded his ego by not wanting to sleep with him? But he knew exactly why we couldn’t sleep with one another, so my pointing that out to him should not be such a big deal that he would just turn away without even responding to what I’d said!

Despite all the confusion in my mind, I managed to fall asleep again at some point during the night … this time I did not dream at all.

The morning came too early for my taste, I felt like sleeping for a week! Since we had no source of natural light down here, I wouldn’t have been able to tell what time it was, or that it even was morning, for that matter. But Aidan’s internal clock seemed to work well for him.

I could feel him stirring and stretching as well as he could in the confined space of the crowded sleeping bag. Suddenly remembering what had happened between us last night, I felt more awkward than I had ever felt in Aidan’s presence.

Though he was clearly awake and must be aware that I was awake as well, seeing as I had just yawned fairly loudly, he did not say a word to me.

Oh, this is going to be fun,
I thought sullenly, already dreading the long hours, days and nights we were going to spend in total silence. That would make all of this sooo much more fun than it already was…

We ate and drank, packed the things we could easily carry, and resumed our path up the tunnel. All the while Aidan tried nothing, said nothing … and did not even look at me ― not once!

Several times along the way, I contemplated saying something … anything … to help us get past this icy cold shroud of silence that enveloped us.

For all I knew, he could keep this up forever. But I definitely couldn’t. Even though I had brushed him off the other night, his coldness toward me was tearing a gigantic hole in my heart.

When we set up our night camp once more at the end of the day, and Aidan actually dropped his sleeping bag down further up the tunnel at a great distance to mine, I couldn’t take it anymore.

Fuming with pent-up indignation, I stormed up to Aidan, who was bent over the ground, in the middle of unpacking his backpack. Obviously having heard my not so quiet footsteps stomping toward him, his body had turned slightly toward me, his eyes still not meeting mine.

I actually grabbed him, pulled him up and pushed him against the wall, ready to confront him … or die trying. So far, it seemed he wouldn’t put up too much of a fight, or I wouldn’t have even managed to push him against the wall ― I wasn’t that strong, after all.

“What the hell, Aidan?” was all I could ask. I didn’t even have words to convey how angry he had made me by not even looking at me after last night.

I wasn’t a piece of meat! He didn’t have the right to treat me like dirt just because I hadn’t let him have some. After all he had done for me, after having seen the kindness and sweetness he was capable of, his current behavior cut even deeper.

When he still wouldn’t respond or look at me, I completely lost my ability for reasoning or restraint and threw myself at his body, my fists pounding his chest as I screamed at him.

“What is wrong with you? Why won’t you even look at me? Look at me, damn it!”

Leisurely catching my flinging arms with his hands as if doing nothing more arduous than swatting at a fly, he held my arms tightly and securely at my sides … and finally looked at me.

“Calm down,” he said, his voice arrogant and cold. “You told me to leave you alone … I’m leaving you alone. So quit complaining … you got what you asked for.”

“This is not what I asked for … and you know it!” I raged at him.

“Too bad, this is what you get. You were right. For a moment there, I’d forgotten what you are. I shouldn’t have forgotten, shouldn’t have let down my guard. It won’t happen again,” Aidan finished, his tone severe and final.

“You son of a bitch!” I cried, “We’re running for our lives … I’m dirty … I’m cold … it’s dark and … and … I’m scared. And I can’t do this … alone. I can’t get through this … without … you. And now you’re treating me like trash … because I wouldn’t sleep with you? I can’t believe you … I need you … and you’re being … horrible!”

“This isn’t about you not sleeping with me,” Aidan replied in a calm voice, so calm I would have liked to slap him for his composure. His composure was, after all, a slap in
my
face. I would have loved to return the favor.

“Then what is this about?” I asked, hoping he would give me something that would make his cold behavior easier to bear somehow, or at least easier to grasp.

“That’s no longer your concern,” he said loftily, taking me by surprise. I had actually thought he would give me a straight answer.

“It’s damn well my concern,” I replied heatedly, “since I’m stuck with you, against my wishes, I might add!”

“Then it shouldn’t matter if I don’t look at you,” Aidan stated simply.

I’d had enough. If he thought he could just emotionally abandon me instead of helping me get through this miserable hell hole of a tunnel without so much as an explanation to his suddenly hostile behavior toward me, he could think again.

His hold on me had gotten lax as we had stood arguing, and I used this lapse to my advantage. I mentally tore down the barriers in my mind and concentrated on feeling my power.

Hoping he wouldn’t have time to put any walls up, I decided to concentrate hard on reading his thoughts. Before he knew what I was doing, I moved right up to him and gazed into his eyes. He must not have seen this coming at all because it only took one second to read what was on his mind…

I can’t do both. I can’t look at you and not want you!

… at least before he slammed a wall down.

“Careful,” Aidan warned, his voice low with a dangerous edge to it, “if you violate my mind, you might not like what you hear.” Then he shoved past me, grabbed his sleeping bag and walked away, leaving me standing there alone.

So that’s what I got for one moment of weakness … If I hadn’t thought about him in the way I had last night, and hadn’t been so easy to read, he never would have tried getting closer to me. I should have kept a tighter control over my emotions.

One little mishap and now Aidan could have been crowned the Ice King. And the comfort I had foolishly taken for granted was gone. I was stuck in the dark and cold … and now without even the reassuring presence of another human being.

Aidan was somewhere further along the tunnel. He had left me two small light spheres which hung above me in a feeble attempt to chase away the darkness around me.

It didn’t seem to matter much if they succeeded or not … the darkness seemed to be creeping further through my soul along with the cold and loneliness I was feeling.

And as my tears stung my eyes and streamed down my face, I couldn’t help but think that this time I would definitely be stuck in my tear-dampened sleeping bag.

A
idan was lying in his sleeping bag, listening to the faintest sounds of Persephone’s crying. Though he was lying far away from her and she was probably doing her best not to be heard, she couldn’t completely muffle the sounds. The tunnel carried it all the way to Aidan’s ears.

Aidan was sure he wouldn’t be getting any sleep that night. He felt horrible. He had been unforgivably cruel to Persephone. And the worst part of it was: he would have to continue to be so.

When she had told him they couldn’t be together, the reality of what he’d been about to do had descended upon him. He had been so lost in the moment … in her presence … in the feeling of her body against his, that he hadn’t even thought about what he was about to do.

The shock he’d felt at the realization that he’d been about to do something that had the potential to destroy the whole world!

He couldn’t let that happen! He couldn’t be responsible for the demise of a whole planet! And yet, none of this had mattered when he had held her in his arms.

That was the problem. He couldn’t spend time with her without wanting her badly. And the choices he made were of epic importance.

It wasn’t like any other mistake he had ever made … there was no coming back from this one! He had to keep remembering this and keep his distance, or he would be in deep shit.

Persephone may be wounded by his behavior, but he really had no choice. He couldn’t
just
be nice to her. That meant he’d have to talk to her, spend time with her … look at her. But every time he did, he desired her and forgot that being with her was taboo … and dangerous.

Staying as far away from her as he could under the circumstances was the best he could do to keep from slipping up. And since she seemed to want his company and was inclined to seek him out, he had to shove her away by being cruel. Even if it tore a hole in his heart to listen to her cry, it had to be this way.

Restlessly rolling from one side to another, Aidan finally gave up on sleep and got out of his sleeping bag. He settled down on top of it, hugging his legs and resting his head on top of his arms.

For a long time he just sat like that, listening to his surroundings. When Persephone’s sobs finally quieted down and it seemed she had fallen asleep, Aidan’s tense muscles relaxed a bit.

The tunnel around him was completely quiet … for about a minute. Suddenly Aidan could hear strange noises drifting toward him. They started out faint and became more intense as the seconds went by. At first, Aidan couldn’t place what he was hearing.

The noises almost sounded like … some kind of … cracking noises.

That’s it,
Aidan thought excitedly, pleased he had actually figured out what he was hearing. A moment later that excitement turned into horror as he realized the cracking noises could only come from one thing: the stone walls of the tunnel they were in.