Sound Advice (Sensations Collection #1) (35 page)

Sue’s voice came from behind me.

“Emily, my goodness. Calm down. You really didn’t know?”

I shook my head, still looking at the wooden floorboards. An image of Jess lying in the swing, waiting for me to return from Chicago, came into my mind.

I felt a hand on my lower back.

“Here. I’ll take responsibility for opening the door, but I think there’s something you should know.”

I stood up at Sue’s words.
Oh God, it’s true. There is someone
.

The door swung open with a little force from Sue after she unlocked it. I was frozen. I didn’t know if I could walk in, but I did. As I entered, everything looked the same. The two floral couches were covered in the slipcovers I bought with the antique table in the center. The radio was missing but I couldn’t remember putting it in the closet with the other sentimental items.
Did I do that?

I continued taking inventory of the house. Dining room to the left. Empty china cabinet. Table and six chairs. What I began to notice was that there was nothing else. Nothing extra. No pictures. No toys of Katie’s. No coats on the hooks by the door. It was like a dream sequence. I knew I was walking forward, but I was noticing all that was missing.

I looked at Sue.

“What’s going on?”

“Well, maybe I shouldn’t be the one to tell you?” Sue hesitated. I felt a craziness coming on again and I spun on my heels for the second time before bolting up the staircase. My heart was beating like I had run a marathon and I was prepping to run a second one. Convinced I’d find what I wasn’t hoping for, I opened Nana’s bedroom door. I took stock again. Made bed. New cover. No pictures. No sweatshirt on the chair. No clutter on the floor or the nightstand. No signs that someone lived here.

I turned slowly as Sue topped the staircase. I didn’t look at her, and as if pulled by a magnet, I crossed the hall, passing Sue and opening my own old bedroom door. Nothing.

“Honey, I don’t think I should say anything, but you’re scaring me. You look shell shocked.” For the first time, I looked in Sue’s direction as she continued.

“He rented the house after you left. Said he couldn’t bear the thought of others living in it. One night Joe saw him at the bar. He’d had too much to drink and told Joe he couldn’t have other people sleeping in your bed.”

“How? Why?” I sank onto the edge of my old mattress.

“I don’t know the particulars and even if I did, it wouldn’t be my place to say. Why don’t you speak with him?”

“Yeah, why don’t you speak with him?” came the sound of a familiar, dangerous voice.

Sue jumped. “Why Jess, you scared the bejesus out of me.”

I stood, staring at the man in front of me. His hair was longer. I could tell by the way it was pulled back and twisted, but he didn’t have on a bandana. In the cooler temperature, he had on a pair of dark jeans and a plaid country style shirt rolled up to the elbows. Country singers would be jealous of how good he looked. His arms were crossed over his chest as he leaned against the open doorway. Neither of us spoke. The tension and electric pull was thick.

“I think I’ll just excuse myself,” Sue said, walking out the door. When she reached the bottom steps I heard her say, “you come with me,” and I assumed she was speaking to Bob as I heard the click of the front door close.

“Who is he?” Jess started.

“I work with him. He’s a photographer. “

“Why are you here?”

“We’re on an assignment. I was given my first feature article to write about Nana. Bob is here to take pictures of the house and the fall colors along the coast as we drove up.”

“First feature? Congratulations. Must be cozy, you two.”

“Are you jealous?” I blurted. My blood pressure rose, recalling my thoughts of Jess and another woman.

“Yes.” His honest answer stunned me.

“He’s gay.”

Jess’ steel grey-blue eyes stared at me while that information sank in.

“Why did you do this?”

“Rent the house? Well, you just heard Sue tell you. I couldn’t have others in the house, and I didn’t want another person in that bed.” His gaze was softening as it shifted to the bed behind me.

“You don’t live here though.”

“I couldn’t be here without you, either.” His truthfulness was shaking my resolve. My images of him with another were melting away and I suddenly felt a draining sensation take over.

“How…how could you afford it?”

Jess ran a hand over his face. What he was about to say next was obviously going to be difficult and he leaned back against the door, head tilted up toward the ceiling.

“The radio.”

“What?’

“The radio I made for your grandmother.” It hit me. The radio was missing downstairs. I hadn’t taken it with me, knowing that it would be too painful a memory, but I couldn’t remember putting it in the closet with the other keepsakes.

“You stole the radio?” I dragged the words.

“No, not stole. Borrowed.” He looked at my face with his denim eyes. The anger had subsided and now he was concerned.

“Explain,” I whispered.

“Do you remember the last night? When we were together?” My head shot upward.
How could I ever forget
, I thought.

“I told you I had an appointment out of town on Wednesday. That’s why I had to leave so early.” His voice softened and he looked at the bed behind me again.

“I had an appointment with an old colleague from GM about the radio. I was proud of what I had done with it and the newer technology. I knew that this guy did some fix-up work, playing with electronics, and I had already told him about the radio. He set up an appointment for me to meet with some antique radio collector and present my idea. The man liked it so much he gave me an advance and ten other radios to fix up. I got a lawyer to help me with the patent and that’s how I got the money.”

I was stunned.

“I knew if I wanted you to stay, I’d need to make more of myself. I’d have to be better.”

“Jess,” I said softly.
Did he still think I was that much of a snob?

“I’d have to be able to provide you with things I didn’t have yet. My ‘invention’ helped, would have helped, if you’d have stayed.” He paused. “I think.”

I was staring at him in disbelief.

“Jess, I don’t need things. I need you. And all you had to do was ask me to stay, and I would have.”

“You would have?”

“I guess…well, we’ll never know.”

“Stay.” He reached for my hand as I leaned against the bed.

“Well, I am staying until tomorrow,” I replied, confused.

“Not just for now. Forever.” He took my hand and turned it palm up, tracing.

I.L.O.V.E.Y.O.U.

“Say it,” I whispered.

“I love you. And I want you to stay.”

I stood up from the bed, slid my arms around his neck, and kissed him passionately. I kissed him with all the bent up frustration, all the longing of past kisses, and all the desire I had to be with him. When I pulled back to look at him, I had only a moment to glance at him before he leaned in and kissed me back. He kissed my mouth then his lips slid to my cheeks. He wiped my tears and kissed my eyelids. He ran his nose along my face, down to my neck as he had done on the first night he’d refrained from kissing me. He kissed my neck, up to my chin, and searched for my mouth again. I knew it wasn’t going to be enough to kiss him.

“I love you, too,” I said.

“Say it again.”

“I love you.”

“And?”

“I need you?” I giggled.

“And?”

“I want you,” I said breathlessly.

“Please stay.”

“Always so polite,” I mocked then squealed in delight as I fell on the bed with Jess covering me.

Life is short; live it now.

IT WAS A beautiful fall day amid the vibrant yellows, reds, and oranges of the trees overhanging Nana’s back yard. One of those gorgeous surprise days in fall what is pleasant and warm, and you want to be outdoors one last time. Katie was off at school, talking successfully and making new friends. Jess asked me to meet him outside where he planned a picnic for us. He said we had much to celebrate and he wanted to take a break for the day. As the owner of a radio repair shop, the handyman work on the side, and now his new inventions, he was a busy man who could make his own hours. He told me today he was devoting some hours to us.

The backyard was an appropriate romantic setting based on all the different interactions and experiences we shared together in that very yard, both before I went away and after I returned to stay. He spread a blanket across the lawn and poured me a glass of local wine. He claimed if we were playing hooky from life for a few hours, we were drinking wine in the afternoon. I laughed at him and then my breath hitched when he looked up at me with those denim eyes. He was a beautiful man and an amazing father, and I loved him.

He pulled several items out of the picnic basket he packed and I tried not to giggle at the effort as we were only feet away from our own kitchen. He had cake to go with the wine, and when I looked at him in question he laughed at the expression on my face.

“When you didn’t come to my birthday party, I brought you wine and cake. Do you remember? You never ate or drank it.”

“So now we’re re-enacting your birthday?” I laughed.

“Sort-of. I did a few things wrong that night,” he smiled sheepishly.

I leaned towards him, biting my lip to resist the desire to kiss him.

“Like what?”

“I should have done this,” and he kissed me instead. Kissing him was never going to grow old as I loved the way he commanded my mouth. His lips took control of mine and I gave in willingly as he kissed, and kissed, and kissed. I was breathless when he pulled back.

“I also didn’t get my birthday wish,” he said.

“What did you wish for?” I said taking a sip of the wine he poured.

“You.”

I blinked at him.

“You have me,” I smiled slowly holding his gaze. My lips returned to his. He was working me up with only his mouth over mine and he knew he had the power to do this to me. I was the one to pull back this time.

“I was wishing for a bit more.”

“More?” I questioned.

“Yeah…I, ah…I’ve realized that it’s more than a need for you. And more than a want for you. It’s more than just loving you. It’s more than now.”

It was taking me a moment to process his words. He had told me once before he didn’t know if he could belong to someone, and he couldn’t promise me forever, but that was months ago.

“Jess, I don’t under….”

He reached into the picnic basket and pulled out another item. A little square box.

“We’ve talked about silence. How hard it was for me to live in it with Katie. How painful it was to not know what happened. You were right when you said I surrounded myself with repairing the radios to fix sound. Bring music, or noise, or whatever, back to people. I don’t want it to seem like a silent thing between us. That
someday
we’d get married. I need you as mine. I want you forever. I’m listening to myself now, Emily. You’re the sound of my heart. Will you be my wife?”

I could hardly contain the smile on my face. It was all happening rather fast, but I knew after I made the move to Elk Rapids, I wasn’t planning on leaving unless we were together.

“Someday is now?” I laughed through my tears and he stared at me. He knew what I meant. That word meant everything to us. He was already slipping the square diamond on my finger when I breathed out the words, “Definitely now.”

He was on top of me in broad daylight, in our backyard, kissing me again. The welcome stir between my legs was growing, and I tried to break away.

“The neighbors are going to talk,” I giggled, breathing heavily against his mouth.

“They’re already talking,” he said before covering my lips again and I couldn’t care less if the neighbors saw us and the small town gossiped.