Soundtracks of a Life (22 page)

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I’m in my dressing room at Staples Center after going over the set and the new songs with Tom. Susan was right about him, as much as we don’t like having him around, his knowledge of our previous set made everything way easier.  I practically just had to go over the new songs with him.

Te
d and James arrived for the sound check shortly after that. In the privacy of the dressing room I had to experience an earful when they discovered the new development of Tom being back… I especially heard a lot from Ted, who apparently hates Tom more than the rest of us combined. Alas, it was not my choice either. I wanted Chris there more than any of them combined as well.

While we wait to go do our sound check
, I finally have some breathing room and I can do some thinking about everything that happened that morning.  Susan’s words to me, especially, keep ringing in my head. He doesn’t know that I’ve changed my attitude towards life… he doesn’t know I really do want to live…

I pick up a paper and
start writing down all my feelings, everything I want him to know. If he is there tonight he will get my message loud and clear. I compose the lyrics from all those thoughts in about an hour. It’s very personal, maybe the most personal thing I have ever written… my ode to life if you will.

I grab my guitar and start fooling around with some melodies and riffs, slowly composing music to go along with the lyrics. By the time they call me for the sound check I have most of it down. I bring it out with me and talk to the guys to go over it now. I ask them to help me get it done so
we could play it tonight. They don’t give it a second thought. They just get right down to it, no questions asked. By the time the sound check is over we have the song ready to go and I couldn’t be happier with the result. I’m not much for picking favorites but if I‘m going to be truthful that song is special to me like no other.

Chapter 29

It’s a sold out concert, Staples Center is packed. Our stage, like our Grammy performance the night previous, has huge LCD screens and laser lights. After a high tech intro of lights, video and sound, the lights comes on the stage and we begin to play our first song. The roar of the crowd is deafening until they settle into listing.

Before coming to the stage to start the concert, painfully, I had not yet heard from Lara or Chris. I have n
o idea now if he will show up… but as they say the show must go on with or without him. It’s gnawing on me not knowing so I focus on the music letting my mind forget about my troubles for a moment. Luckily playing music in front of thousands of fans is a great way of forgetting your worries.

Time melts away and before I know it, we are in the middle of our set and that’s when I’m supposed to play the first “special” song
of the evening, the one I wrote at Lara’s house the night before. I steal a look at Susan, who is standing on the side of the stage. She knows what I want to know. She shakes her head and motions with her hands as if to say “I don’t know”. I can see her lips mouthing the word “Sorry”. My heart sinks. He’s not here. He’s not coming.

Our new piano player leaves the stage as we rehearsed it and I slide onto the leather piano bench to perform my new song on schedule.

I adjust the microphone, “I wrote this song for someone I love and that I’ve hurt very recently. It’s not part of our new album, but I hope you guys will indulge me as I play this for this person.” The crowd cheers and applauds as if to give me permission. “I don’t know if you are out there but if you are… I’m sorry.”  I hear the deep tone of the baby grand piano resonate around the darkened hall as I start to play the solo piano melody. My voice slightly cracks probably more noticeable to me than anyone else as I start singing the words of the song.  During rehearsal I decided to have the guys join me with some back vocals like Lara had done the previous night. They didn’t sound nearly as nice as Lara but it still sounded pretty good. Halfway through the song I steal a look to the side of the stage again and I’m surprised to see Lara standing next to Susan. When she sees me looking at her she gives me the thumbs up. My heart skips a beat and I almost mess up the melody as I feel my fingers forget what they are supposed to be doing.

Chris is here…

I soar through the rest of the song my heart pounding inside my chest. I hardly hear the crowd clapping, I’m afraid to look at the side of the stage again but when I do, I see him there. I give him a wide smile. I can’t really see in the dark of the stage but I think he is smiling back.

As the stage light come up again, I leave the piano and pick up my guitar, I walk to the microphone and address the crowd once more “Actually, I will have to ask for another favor from you guys. I have one more new song I just have to play tonight
...” The crowd doesn’t mind one bit, in fact they love what’s going on, the noise they are making is intensely deafening.

We start playing our newest song
[8]
the one we had just finished during the sound check. I absolutely love this song. I’m excitedly playing and it just fills me with immense happiness. As the intensity of the song picks up, I spontaneously, in one sleek move, using the piano bench as a stepping stool, hop onto the top of the piano and continue playing my guitar and singing from there. The crowd cheers excitedly. At that moment, I can feel inside of me. I am at peace with myself, I’m at peace with my life, accepting it just the way it is and I feel happy, finally completely happy to be alive.

I’m almost at the end of the song when I see Chris actually stepping into the stage.  I’m not sure if he has fully forgiven me or not but right here, right at this moment, it doesn’t matter. When I look at him it all seems so clear to me. The next thing I do wasn’t in any way planned. I never really thought about it but now it somehow seem
s so obvious. Scary as they were, I go with my feelings. While the last few notes are being played, almost to the beat of the song, I step down from the piano and down to one knee right in front of Chris, who is now standing in the stage. The crowd goes wild. My heart feels like it’s going to jump out of my mouth. The song is over and I say it into the microphone “Chris Henderson… marry me please, I can’t live without you.” There are lots of screams coming from the audience now. Chris doesn’t say anything he just extends his hand to me and helps me get up to my feet again. Once I do, he takes in his arms and passionately kisses me. I feel his warm lips on mine, out tongues dancing and at that moment it was as if there weren’t eighteen thousand people staring at us. To us it was like we were all alone. The entire band is looking shocked, the crowd is going absolutely nuts, screaming so loud we could feel it reverberating in your body. It’s a dizzying feeling.

Ted and James run over to us now giving us the warmest group hug ever.
.. Lara and Susan steps into the stage and join in as well. The rest of the concert becomes a huge party. Chris grabs a guitar and plays the rest of the set with us, him and Tom exchanging riffs and playing their asses off. Lara joins us on stage later too and we do a couple of songs singing together.  We end up playing a three hour set, the audience up on their feet, demanding three encores. It is by far the hottest concert of our entire lives. A magical moment I’m sure I’ll never forget.

**************

After the concert is over, we are cheerfully chatting and celebrating on the back of the stage, everyone still riding high from the concert. Lara invites the band and stage crew to her home for an impromptu engagement party. It turns out to be a raucous joyful affair fuelled by liquor and champagne. Chris and I are surrounded by friends at all times and we hardly have a moment to speak to each other about what had just happened. We didn’t need to… we both knew what we were feeling.

When the party is finally
dwindling down, Susan pulls Chris and me away from the remaining guests.  “Now that I finally have a moment with you two… I just wanted to say first that you have my blessing. I couldn’t be happier for the both of you. I hope you know you guys are much more to me than just a business relationship, you are family.”

“Thanks Susan,” I say giving her a hug, fighting away some tears.

“Now to business,” she says recomposing herself. “I actually have an engagement present for you. I hope you two realize that you just had the most romantic moment ever in front of an audience of eighteen thousand people with cell phones and cameras. This is going to be everywhere… and I mean EVERYWHERE… across the globe! By now a picture of the two of you is probably going for a huge premium and the paparazzi are literally going to hunt you two down.”

“Geez Susan, thanks… is that your idea of an engagement present?” I say jokingly, Chris
is cracking up next to me, “because that is a total bummer.” I finish off laughing.

Susan laughs too, taking my mocking in stride, “
No, I don’t mean to be a bummer,” she says, “but I just wanted to give you the heads up, especially Chris. You’ve been in the spotlight more, but he hasn’t as much, it will be a huge change for him... you know how tough is to handle the scrutiny. I just want you two to prepare mentally for it, that’s all. But that does actually bring me to my present. I have a villa on the island of Lanai. It’s in Hawaii near Maui, but it’s much more secluded, you can only get to it by boat. It’s an extremely lush, tropical property with its own private beach, it’s gorgeous you will love it! I called the housekeeper to stock up the house with groceries earlier this evening and gas up the boat for you guys. He will pick you up at the airport and take you to the boat. The company jet is waiting for you two in a half hour. Just enough time for you to grab some clothes, your swim suits and go! If you escape now no one will find you… and the pilot knows better than to sell your location to the press so… you two should have some peace for a while… THAT’S my present to you two.” She finishes smiling, proud of herself.

“Wow…” Chris and I say, both a bit speechless.

“I can give you five days,” she continues, “that’s all. Then you two need to be back here for the final rehearsals and preparations before the world tour begins.”

“That’s so nice of you
Susan.” I say, truly grateful taking her in for a hug. “Really, you’ve been more than kind to us.”

“Yeah, thanks Susan,” Chris says smothering her with a huge bear hug
it actually makes her crack up laughing.

“Oh don’t mention it.” She tries to look business
again but we can see she is happy. “Now go, go, say goodbye to your friends you need to get to Van Nuys, the plane is waiting.”

Chris and I practically tele-transport to Hawaii as we’re both fast asleep before the plane even reaches cruising altitude. After the night we had and the excitement of the events of the day we were both totally drained.  We are awakened by a hand on our shoulder gently shaking us, a voice saying, “we’re here.”

Alani, a typical island looking man with dark skin, dark eyes and dark hair, greets us at the airport. He leads us to his car and drives us to the marina where we board a sleek looking speed boat.

“The seas are very calm, should be a smooth ride” he says to us with a thick island accent
as we take off speedily away from the marina. I glance down at my watch. It’s eight in the morning LA time that means it is five in the morning Hawaiian time. It is still dark out but the ocean is fully visible by the light of a very bright full moon. We enjoy the breezy ride silently.

When we arrive at our destination,
Alani docks the boat and helps us out. He then hands me the house keys and a piece of paper with his phone number. “Call me if you need anything, Susan told me to take good care of you two so don’t be shy, if you need anything let me know. Otherwise, I’ll be back Saturday morning to take you back to the airport.”

We thank Alani,
say goodbye and make our way to the beautiful looking property still a bit in disbelief of everything that was happening. The beachfront house is perched just a bit above the ocean. We make our way up to the front door and go in. Chris lets out a whistle when I turn on the lights. “Holy crap, Susan’s been holding out on us!” I say laughing.

“I can’t believe she doesn’t use this place more often,” Chris says to me as we take a tour of the living room with its plush cream colored sofas and huge wall to wall widows that give way to what I can only imagine will be amazing views of the ocean once the sun is up. We step outside to the patio and check out a beautiful infinity pool
beautifully lit up in the night.

“This is rad,” Chris says excitedly. “Come on,” he calls me eagerly, “let’s go down to the beach… I can’t wait to go for a swim!”

“Aren’t we changing first?”

“Are you kidding me
?” he says. “Look at this place! We are all alone who needs swim suits!” He gives me a devilish grin that is absolutely adorable before he runs towards the beach. I take my shoes off and follow him down to the beach feeling the soft sand crunch beneath my feet.

Chris takes me into his arms and holds me tight before giving me a passionate kiss. I can see in the horizon the colors’ changing from dark blue-black to an almost purplish
with hints of orange color, the first signs of the morning arriving.

“You know,” Chris says, still holding me close to him
looking into my eyes, “It’s not really an engagement without a ring…” He then fishes deep into his pocket and pulls a small black velvet box and hands it too me.

Surprised, I open the box to find a
silver band with diamonds encrusted all around. It is very delicate looking and just absolutely beautiful. I’m speechless. “It’s beautiful, Chris.” I say still completely amazed.

He gives me a huge smile from ear to ear, takes the ring and places it delicately on my finger. “Now it’s official,” he says
happily.

“I don’t understand
...” I look at him confused. “How would you have to time to get a ring? We were at the concert, then the party…” I let my words trail off.

“I had bought the ring a few weeks ago Lor. I was trying to find a good time to ask you but there was always so much going on. Then I finally gathered up some courage and decided that if we had a good night at the Grammy’s I was going to ask you that night after the ceremony. I wanted you to see that while it m
ay have been a terrible day in the past, it didn’t have to be one in the present or future…”

“Oh Chris…” I say distressed truly grasping now what I had done. “I’m so sorry.
” I look into his deep blue eyes. “I ruined it all didn’t I?”

“Yeah, but
it’s okay. Strange as it may sound I prefer the way it happened. In fact, I wouldn’t change it for the world, Lor.”

“I love you,” I say and h
e holds me even tighter.

“I love you too… but you are still way over dressed for a swim!’ He gives me a wide gri
n while taking his shirt off, immediately running towards the ocean scattering his remaining clothes along the way and jumping beautifully naked into the waves.

Somehow, regardless of how secluded this place might be I still feel extremely self-conscious but I
take a deep breath and finally go for it, shedding my own clothes and jumping into the water as fast as I can. The water temperature feels like a shock over my body at first, but I quickly get used to it and then it feels very refreshing. Chris swims next to me now smiling widely. The first rays of sunlight are now visible in the horizon, and it’s a breath taking feeling.

“Okay,” I say to him laughing, “
Now what?”

He just shrugs then answers, “now we live…”