Spider Stampede (5 page)

“So she was trying to S.W.I.T.C.H. Piddle into a bug? Horrible woman!” said Danny.

“Yes—but she got you instead,” said Scratch. “We saw it all from under the sink in her lab. That's why we came to find you. We heard you up in your bathroom. Then we heard your big sister shrieking about two spiders in the bath. We put two and two together. It doesn't take long for the spray to work. Sometimes it goes off in seconds! We worked out where you would've ended up—down the drain!” Scratch chuckled and shook his head. “And as your closest cousins, well, it was only right to try and help.”

“Well…er…thanks,” said Josh. He resisted the urge to correct Scratch. Apes were
actually
their closest cousins. But it seemed impolite to say so. “But what do we do now?”

“Well, get out of here for a start,” said Scratch. “It's not safe. Get on our backs, and we'll swim you out of here.” Doubtfully, the brothers looked at the rats' backs. Scratch and Sniff shimmied down low to let the spiders climb on board.

“Go on, love,” Sniff encouraged Josh. “Just hang on to my fur, and you won't fall off.”

Josh went for it. He just ran up Sniff's back. He found it surprisingly easy. There were clever little hooks on the bottom of each of his feet. They anchored him tightly onto her fur. Danny ran up onto Scratch a moment later. Then, with a whoosh of rotten eggy air, Scratch leapt into the slow-moving stream and began to swim along the sewer.

The dark water surged up. Danny ran up onto Scratch's head, alarmed. It was quite flat on top between his ears and easy to hang on to. Behind swam Sniff, her nose held daintily above the water. Josh was also anchored between her ears.

“Oh no—we're not going down to the bit where the poos come out, are we?” fretted Danny. But a moment later they came out into daylight. They were swimming through the small stream in the little overgrown gully, which ran along between the backyards on their road and the next road. “Phew! No poo!” sighed Danny.

“I should think
not
,” sniffed Sniff. “We do have our standards, you know!”

“Thank you,” said Josh. He ran down Sniff's soaked back and onto a large stone at the edge of the stream. “Now can you tell us how we get back to being humans?”

Scratch and Sniff shook the water out of their fur on a tiny beach of pebbles below them. They exchanged worried glances as Danny joined Josh on the rock.

“You don't—you don't mean to tell us…that we're like this for good?” gasped Josh.

“Well…er…no,” said Scratch. “We don't know that for sure. And in fact, I know that one of the bees turned back into a bee after just a few hours as an ant…”

“
One
of them? What happened to the other ones that Petty Potts got with her S.W.I.T.C.H. spray?” demanded Josh.

“Well—they
might
have changed back…if there had been time,” said Scratch, looking rather awkward. “Only…well…most of them got…”

“Got? Got what?” squawked Danny. He stood up high on his legs like a very unattractive ballerina.

“Eaten,” sighed Sniff. “Most things get eaten. I mean…a lot of things get eaten
anyway
. But when you're an ant or a bee or a beetle or something, you get to know how to look out for yourself. If you're suddenly S.W.I.T.C.H.ed into something else you get…well…confused. And if you're confused, you're…well…lunch!”

“Josh,” said Danny. He edged toward his brother even though he was still terrified of his legs.

“I don't know about you—but I'm confused. I'm
very
confused.”

“Me too,” gulped Josh. And that's when the icky, sticky pink thing suddenly ickily stickily stuck to his shoulder. And he was yanked high into the air.

The worst thing about being a freaky little bug geek was knowing
too
much.

And the worst thing about being a spider was being able to think so much faster than a human. Josh had read, in his many wildlife books, that everything moves so much faster in the world of spiders and insects that they must think quickly to survive. And now he knew it was true, as he flew through the air, stuck to the pink thing. He had time to figure out quite a few things.

He figured out, first of all, that he was stuck to the tongue of a toad.

Then he figured out that he was probably not going to unstick himself.

Then he figured out that he was probably going to be eaten…ALIVE!

He knew that toads eat their prey alive. They don't mind at
all
if their lunch kicks and complains as it goes down. For the first time ever in his life, Josh wished he hadn't read so many wildlife books.

As he flew helplessly toward the toad's gaping mouth, Josh twisted around. He got ahold of some of the long, long tongue, drove his fangs into it, and squirted some venom in. The tongue didn't let go. There was no hope. He was toad takeout.