Spiral (34 page)

“Oh, thank you, God! Thank you! What were you doing out here? I’ve been calling and calling you! How could you not tell me where you were? Do you have any idea how worried I was?” she gasps into my neck.

“I’m sorry, I guess I left my phone in my room…where is Cherie?”

“Cherie’s gone. Oh, thank God you’re all right!” she cries, pulling at the hair on the sides of her head.

I grab my mother by the shoulders and focus her. “Stop! What do you mean she’s gone?”

She stammers out a useless reply. “She didn’t come home last night. Her manager thought it would be best she say with them since her movie premier is today.”

My stomach drops. “Are you serious?!” Our phone conversation replays in my mind, and a million stab wounds reopen inside.

“Cherie – what the hell, Cherie…” I moan, clutching at my rapidly pulsing head. I turn to my mother frantically. “When did you last see her?”

Her head tips to the side. “Oh, Jack. Not since yesterday afternoon, baby.”

“Well, why aren’t you with her? She can’t be alone with those people!” I try to pull out of Mom’s hold, looking over her shoulder to the front door. Jim stands stoically in the entrance, eying me with a frown of disappointment.

Seeing him reminds me of his comments to my mom the night before, and I want to punch the frown off of his face. “Bet you thought I was long gone, huh?”

He cocks his head quizzically. “What?”

I usher my mom to the side gently and walk forward. “I heard you last night. I heard everything you said about sending me to live with Darla.” I’m feet away from him before I stop and glare heavily at him.

“Jack, Jim didn’t mean that – ” my mom tries to say.

“Sure he did,” I say coldly, smirking at my stepfather. “The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, right Jim?”

“That’s enough, Jack.” Mom scurries between us as if she senses a fight, and I look down at her with disgust. Does she think I’m going to actually punch her husband? I’m not some kind of monster who starts fights with everyone, not anymore at least.

I look back at him and think that’s exactly what Jim wants. He wants me to be the angry, violent kid I used to be. “Well, I’m not my father, Jim, but thanks for having that kind of faith in me.”

Jim looks down in shame and nods. “I’m sorry, Jack. You’re right; it was a terrible thing to say. I was upset, and I was worried about Cherie.”

“Well that makes two of us. Where is she? Do you even know? Or did you decide to send her away, too?”

He shakes his head and sighs. “No, her manager thought it would be best that she stay with them in a hotel for the night.”

“And you let her?” I roar. “They’re not good people, Jim! They’ve give her drugs – they gave her ecstasy the other night! She’s not safe with them!”

He shakes his head at me. “Come now, Jack, don’t be ridiculous. These are adults you’re talking about. I know her friends are questionable, but I trust Carl. She has the premier of her movie tonight, and she needs to be well rested. Carl was worried she wouldn’t get the kind of peace of mind she needs here and, frankly, I agree with him.”

“She definitely won’t get it there,” I grumble. “Where is she? What hotel? I’ll go find her myself.”

Mom puts her hand on my shoulder, less frightened now that she knows I’m not going to beat up her husband. “Sweetheart, I know you care very much for her, but right now she needs a little space – ”

“No!” I cry out, pulling away from her roughly. “Don’t hand me that bullshit. Tell me where she is!”

They stare at the ground and each other, but they won’t look at me. Their lips are sealed.

I grind my teeth in frustration and push past them into the house. “Chloe? Claudia?” The twins are at the kitchen table, eating breakfast with Brenton and Britney. Britney shrinks in her chair and looks almost frightened of me, and I realize I must seem like a madman to her.

I try to soften my tone. “Hey guys. Do any of you know where Cherie is staying?”

The little ones both shake their heads, but Chloe and Claudia exchange a quick look before agreeing to say no.

I look down at Claudia, the easiest target, and pull up a chair. “Claudia, if you know, you need to tell me.”

She scoots her chair away and avoids my gaze. “I don’t, Jack.”

“Leave her alone, Jack,” Chloe snips.

“Claudia, please. She’s not in good hands with those people. She needs help, and they don’t really care about her. I need to know where she is.”

“We told you we don’t know, Jack!” Chloe shrills.

“Jack, leave the girls alone, please,” Jim says, and he and my mother are suddenly beside the table. “They’re not going to tell you. They promised Cherie they wouldn’t.”

“
Promised
her?” I demand. “Yeah right! Why would she talk to them ever again? They’re the ones who started all of this!”

Chloe retorts, “We called her to apologize, and she accepted, so apparently she isn’t that tore up about it.”

Claudia adds softly, “We wanted to apologize to you, too.”

“Yeah, we would have apologized to you, too, if you weren’t such a jerk!” her sister interrupts.

“Girls! Enough!” Mom scolds. She touches my shoulder and coos, “Honey, the bottom line is Cherie is around the people who know her best and that’s what she needs – ”

“They don’t know her. None of you do! I know her. I should be with her. Carl and Betsy and Danika – they’re all in on it! They allow her to get drunk and take her to clubs and give her drugs!

“They don’t care about what happens to her, and they’ll keep putting her in dangerous situations until it’s too late. Just watch, she’ll come home drunk tonight – if she comes home at all!”

Jim shakes his head and says, “No, Jack, we will be there tonight with her. She won’t be coming home with us, but we will be there. We have all been invited to the premier as her family.”

I pause and stare at him, slack jawed. “Oh.”

But before I can feel a spark of relief, Jim adds as gently as possible, “Well, actually, the producers asked that, you know, you do not attend.”

The words fall hard upon my shoulders, and I nearly crumble beneath their weight. “What?”

“They think it will draw unnecessary attention from the movie and the actors if you’re there. There’s just been so much media hubbub over that whole club fight,” Jim says. “You can understand that, can’t you?”

“You’re not serious.” I glance up at my mother. “Mom?” She turns away from me. Just one look at her glistening, down-turned eyes tell me that no matter how much this idea hurts her, she won’t contest it.

“I’m sorry, baby,” she whispers through a sob, making her way toward the stairs. “I think you should just go get ready for school, okay?”

I get up abruptly from the chair and pull at the hair on the sides of my head. “This is insanity!” I feel like I’m trapped in an alternate universe where my mother is becoming a puppet to some Hollywood tyrants. Cherie’s handlers have singlehandedly ruined my life in the last twenty-four hours. Forget about Cherie, forget about this stupid premier – since when does my mother allow someone to treat me like this?

The stab wounds begin to work their way up my chest to my throat until I’m voiceless. I’m on some Hollywood black list because I protected Cherie from some douchebag. Cherie refuses to see or speak to me, even after I’ve poured my heart out to her, and she trusts the twins over me. Everyone thinks I’m about to snap, even Britney. On top of it all, my mother has left me to fend for myself yet again. I feel the blood draining from my face.

“Jack?” Claudia stands up and takes a step toward me. Her eyebrows knit together in concern as if I look as dizzy as I feel, and she reaches out like she is about to catch me.

“Don’t,” I choke, backing up. I look around the room at the worried, pitying faces that stare back.

It doesn’t matter what I say to Jim or my mom or anyone. Cherie told me exactly how she felt last night, and I’m only making myself look like a fool by fighting anymore. I look as crazy as they’re all making me out to be.

Finally, the worst thought enters my mind:
What am I really fighting for
anyway
?

I throw up my hands. “I’m done.” I turn to Jim, adding, “You were right; I don’t want to be here. I’m going back to New York – I’ll stay with Darla, Frank, anyone. But I won’t stay here.”

Tears fall from Claudia’s eyes as I storm toward my room to get ready for school.

M
ica is waiting for me in the parking lot when I pull in. He stands by my space and shifts his backpack on his shoulder.

“Hey,” I say, trying to avoid his gaze as I get out and grab my books from the back seat. “How are you?”

“I can’t complain. How are
you?
”

I shake my head. “I don’t wanna to get into it.” He sighs and falls into step quietly beside me. I think it’s probably a sign of a good friend when they agree to just let silence fill the air between you.

If only everyone could sense that I didn’t want to be bothered, maybe my morning wouldn’t have sucked as much. At first, I’m a little self-conscious. In the halls, girls look at me and whisper to one another. Some guys nod in my direction and say something aside to their friends. I try to keep my eyes forward and not pay them any attention. A few kids who have spoken to me before go as far as to say hello and smile. As far as I’m concerned, they know I got into a fight and knocked out a famous actor, and that fact must make me a pretty cool guy. A badass, even.

But I’m barely in my pre-calc seat for thirty seconds when Jen, the girl in front of me with the fancy bag that’s always on the floor, squashes my growing ego.

“Hi,” she says.

“What’s up?” I reply, opening my notebook and pretending to not notice that she’s staring at me. Finally, I look up from my blank page and find her examining me with a frown.

“Are you okay?” she says, biting her lip and practically wincing. “I heard what happened, and I’m so sorry.”

I squint and cock my head. “Okay? Why would I not be okay?” I look around and then down at my bruised hand, kind of surprised she would even notice. The swelling is gone, and it’s just a little marked up.

“It’s no big deal, thanks though. Just a little bruised.”

Now she looks confused and follows my gaze to my purpled knuckles. “Oh, yeah, I heard you were in a fight.” There’s a long awkward pause. “I meant about Cherie.”

My heart stops. “What about her?”

Her mouth twists to the side. “You know, your breakup and everything. That must be really hard.”

I feel my eyes grow wide. I stare at her for several seconds, trying to find the right words to say, wondering how she knows anything about any of what happened other than the fight in the nightclub.

I say slowly, “We didn’t breakup…we weren’t dating.”

“Oh.” She forces a smile and nods, as if she is certain I’m either delusional or lying to her. But she still tries to be polite. “Okay, well, good luck with whatever is going on.”

I watch her turn to the front, and curiosity eats away at me with every quiet second that passes. I notice a few other girls in class turning to look back at me, and even a few guys stare in my direction. Now that I look at their suspicious expressions, I can tell they’re not thinking I’m a badass at all. What does everyone know that I don’t?

“Um, Jen?” Her head turns slightly. “What did you hear exactly?”

She swivels, a sparkle in her eyes now that I’m willing to entertain the gossip. She does her best to not look too excited to share. “Well, there was this article about a phone call between you two on Dirterazzi, and I read the site sometimes, so I saw it. I don’t believe everything they say, you know, but then it was on the news this morning, too. Like, the real news. So, I just wanted to say sorry.”

“Wait a second – a phone call?” I can’t be sure I heard her over my roaring pulse. All I can think is,
How does anyone know about the phone call?

Jen nods.

“
Dirterazzi.com
?” I clarify, immediately drawing out my phone from my pocket. “How do you spell it?”

Her eyes narrow as I start to type the site into my search bar. She spells it and peers over the top of my desk to my phone. “Don’t you ever look at that site? I mean, they’re always talking about you – wouldn’t you want to know what they say?”

I shake my head and meet her gaze. “No.” My voice grows as cold as my stare. “Because they’re all lies.”

She gets the hint and backs off. “Right.”

At the front of the room, the teacher begins roll call, and Jen seems grateful for the excuse to turn away from me. I’m equally grateful for the chance to look for this article without her breathing down my neck.

I don’t have to scroll far; it’s the first story at the top of the webpage, titled, “Breaking Up IS Hard to Do.” I swallow hard. My eyes scan the article quickly as I tune in and out of class, listening for my name to be called.

Cherie Belle has finally put the kibosh on her on-again, off-again relationship with Jack Hansen after a nightclub melee brought out his ultra-violent streak. A very reliable source close to Cherie confirmed to Dirterazzi reporter Derek Santos that the couple is officially done
.

“
Cherie just wants to be in a good, safe place right now with people she trusts,” says the source. “She needs to be surrounded by positive energy
.”

And in a phone conversation overheard by our source, Cherie told Jack just that. Our source tells us that, even though Hansen sounded very distraught, admitted to loving her, and even threatened to wait for her to get home, Cherie made it clear she needed space from him. Dirterazzi obtained a recording of the conversation, and while we’re not at liberty to share it all, some excerpts from Cherie’s end include
:

“
We can’t talk anymore
.”

“
I think it’s best we just stay apart
.”

“
I just want to be surrounded by positive people
.”

“
This is how it has to be, and I hope you can appreciate my boundaries
.”

Her words are right there, in black and white, and they echo in my ears as if she is saying them to me all over again.