Spiritus, a Paranormal Romance (Spiritus Series, Book #1) (25 page)

My stomach rolled every time I heard the story. I just sipped a soda at lunch, too sick to care that Jonah didn’t even look my way. I just laid my head down and prayed for the day to end, deep down I knew that all of this was somehow my fault.

Alastor avoided me while I was at school. It wasn’t until I was walking home in the rain that I felt his invisible presence.

“Becca?” He whispered.

“I don’t want to see you right now.”

“Becca, please.”

“You’re ruining my life,” I hissed. “Just go away.”

I went home to an empty house and straight up to my room. Even though Dad wasn’t home, I still preferred the privacy of my room. I shut the door and turned to see Alastor standing before me.

I jumped at the sight of him and turned away. I couldn’t face the sadness on his face.

He was very vivid. I could hear the soft thud of his footsteps as he came up behind me. He placed his hand on my shoulder and I could see the fine hairs scattered on the back of his hand.

“My love,” he whispered from behind me. “Am I forgiven?”

The sound of his voice filled me with longing and frustration. I closed my eyes and leaned my head back against his phantom chest, “I can never stay mad at you.”

I sensed the energy of the room shift and I knew if I opened my eyes I would see only empty space and the illusion would be gone.

“Alastor?”

“I’m here.”

A tingling sensation ran over my head and hair. I kept my eyes squeezed shut, not wanting to break the illusion. He was here and he was holding me, and that was enough.

“I am so sorry for the things that I said.” I whispered.

The tingling moved to my ear. “I know.”

I opened my eyes to the empty space surrounding me, “Then let me see you.”

“Of course.”

I watched as particles of what always seemed to be light and dust come together to create him again. Flickering, very much like a candle, he became visible.

I looked at his beautiful face, feeling a lifetime of history between us. I could sense the part of me that believed he would be the father of my children. I knew when that other me died, his name was the last word I whispered.

“I have always loved you.” I said.

“I know you have.”

Turning away from him, I took a deep breath. “You know that this cannot go on. We cannot keep hurting people.”

His hands were on my shoulders, turning me to face him. They were so real, so strong.

“Do not do this.” He whispered in an anguished hiss.

“I have to.”

The furniture of the room began to shake, books and papers flying about as Alastor seemed to swell. The room grew colder and bits of plaster even fell from the ceiling, outside the rain pounded against the windows.

I could feel his wrath and backed away from him. “Look what we did to Jonah.”

“
The boy does not deserve you.” He said, actually pacing the floor and vibrating it with each step.

I took another step back as thunder rattled the house, “And what about Ashley? You almost killed her.”

He turned those icy blue eyes on me as the chaos in my room increased. He loomed larger and larger, “Becca, I did not harm her. That was an accident.”

“
How is this going to work?” I demanded. “Do you think I’m going to go through life with a ghost? I’d always have to be so careful of what I was thinking so no one else would get hurt. What sort of life is that?”

Alastor was at my side again, “Becca listen to me, before, with us, I was still just a boy. I didn’t know how to be a man. I was a soldier, the hero coming home, but it wasn’t enough. I had to die to know where I made my mistakes. Please, my Becca, listen to me.”

“
I can’t do this!” I cried and covered my face with my hands. “I can’t be
your
Becca. I can’t be Becca Sinclair. I can’t be some woman that died a century ago. I’ve got my own life to live.”

His hands were on me, pulling me to his chest. “
Your
life is
my
life.”

I shook my head, “No. It’s not.”

“
You belong to me!” Alastor roared.

Backing away from him, my leg brushed my night table. I looked down, there, in silver frames were the pictures from the library. I picked up the one of Alastor alone and stared down at the handsome face. I almost wavered then, but knew that it would be my damnation if I did.

“
I belong to no man!” I screamed and hurled the pictured across the room. The frame crashed against the wall and the glass shattered to the floor.

He stood there, looking down at the broken fragments. “Please, Becca.”

I wanted to go to him. I wanted to kiss him and swear that I would love him forever. I wanted to tell him that I was wrong, but I knew that it would be a lie.

“
Alastor,” I choked out. “There are some mistakes that are made to last.”

I wasn’t prepared for what came next. The storm raged outside, but Alastor brought the torment inside my room to a halt. Things stopped spinning in the air and dropped immediately to the floor. He turned to me with his blue eyes blazing.

“
Never say that.” He ordered and floated upward. He was no longer solid, but smoky and rushing straight toward me.

There was no time to run. I backed against the window, staring into eyes that were burning with rage. A cold realization crept over me.

Death. It always seemed such a strange and far off event that I never thought about what it would be like to actually die. That was something for the distant future, but as I heard the window shatter behind me, I knew my time had come.

What was it that I was dying for? The sins of the past? The wrongs of the present? Did it even matter?

I looked up at him one last time, staring into his sad and familiar eyes. I took one last breath and prepared to die.

Alastor was almost to me, snarling and terrifying. Just as he reached me his face became horrified and his arms went out to me. There was another loud crash, glass breaking, and pain ran through me. Something was pulling me and there was the sickening copper smell of blood.

I could feel myself falling and the stocking around my neck tightening, but that couldn’t be right. I was alone in the house, but the rooms were empty and echoed my footsteps. What was happening? Where was I? Who was I?

“
Becca? Becca?” Alastor’s voice reached me through the heavy darkness.

I thought I was saying his name. After all, his name was the last thing I said before, why not again?

He was very close, speaking low and soft. “I want you to listen to me my Becca and believe this if you believe nothing else, I want you to know and always remember that you have been loved. You have been loved in this world and the next. Please, never forget that.”

Far below I heard the front door open and slam shut. The sound reverberated up the wall and across the floor where I lay, so much like the feeling of the cannons during the battle.

“
Becca! Becca! Where are you?” Dad called, I could hear him racing about below. Moments later I heard his feet on the stairs, taking them two at a time.

Alastor’s hands were on my face, I tried to open my eyes, but couldn’t. I felt the chill of him leaning over me, moving closer and closer. His lips closed down on mine and he was solid and real. I felt his tongue touch mine, his hands at my throat, and then he pulled away.

“
Remember,” he whispered. “You have been loved.”

Then there was nothing.

Chapter 17

It was the brightness that woke me. Even behind my eyes I could see the bright, white light. It intruded into the darkness, pulling me up to where I didn’t want to be.

I opened my eyes to an unfamiliar room; a medicine smell invaded my nostrils. I knew it was a hospital even before I saw the clear tubes in my arms.

Random memories came to me. I could see my room. I could hear the storm. I saw things as that other me as I tied the stocking around my neck and jumped. I could see…Alastor.

I closed my eyes again, trying to sense the air around me. Was he near me?

“Alastor?”

Nothing.

“Are you there?”

Nothing.

I opened my eyes again and focused on the room. I wasn’t sure what it was I was looking for, but I was hoping to see something that would tell me Alastor was there.

It was just a plain white room with some sort of ugly grey tile on the floor. The blinds were open, casting bars of sunlight over me and revealing windows that looked out over a rooftop of vents and air conditioners. By the windows, unshaved and stretched out in the recliner, my Dad was sleeping deeply.

“Dad?” I called to him. His eyes snapped open and he jumped to his feet. He was at my side, covering my hand with his huge, hot fingers.

“You’re awake!” He whispered and kissed my forehead.

“What happened?” I asked, remembering very little and most of it was in the wrong time.

“The storm. Lightening hit the tree out front and one of the branches came through your window.”

I remembered the storm. I remembered seeing flashes of lightening across Alastor’s face. I remember him coming towards me and then everything got muddled.

Shifting in the bed, pain shot through my right shoulder and my head began to pound. What had happened to me?

I raised my left hand and felt the hard brace and sling covering my arm. My fingers went to my forehead and felt the bandages; there was a dull ache there.

“What is all of this?” I asked.

Dad held my hand, “You have a concussion and a dislocated shoulder. Your forehead had to be stiched up, but it could have been so much worse.”

I heard the note of panic in his voice. I patted his hand, “I’ll be good as new in no time.”

He looked at me with misty eyes, “I just came so close to losing you too.”

There was still one detail that I was confused about.

“How did you get to me so fast?” I asked. “You were supposed to be on your way to Indianapolis.”

“I was,” Dad admitted. “I was on my way there and then I just had this overwhelming feeling that I needed to come home.”

I tried to remember how long I lay on the floor, but all that came to mind was the sound of Alastor’s voice and the feeling of his lips on mine. It hurt to think of Alastor, a gnawing ache that settled somewhere deep in me.

“I don’t know what it was,” Dad said, going on with his story. “I just knew that I had to get back home to you. Isn’t that the strangest thing?”

“Yeah,” I agreed, trying to breathe past the iron ball in my chest. “That’s pretty strange.”

Dad noticed my pained expression, “Do you need me to call the nurse? Are you in pain?”

“I’m fine.” I lied.

“You sure? I’ll have them bring you something for the pain if you need it.”

“No, I’m okay.” I said. “How long have I been here?”

Dad sat on the edge of the bed, his stomach growling loudly. “Just two days.”

“Really?” I was shocked. “It doesn’t seem like two days.”

“The pain medicine makes you sleep a lot.” Dad explained.

“So, I’ve slept all this time.” If that was true, why was I so exhausted?

Dad smoothed my hair back; there was a twinge of pain as his fingers grazed the bandage.

“As much as you could,” he said with a smile. “You must be pretty miserable because you haven’t slept well since the accident. You toss and turn; I’ve even heard you talk in your sleep a few times.”