Spiritus, a Paranormal Romance (Spiritus Series, Book #1) (20 page)

Alastor was next to me in a flash. It hit me then that I may very well die then and there.

“
You don’t see,” he said. “I am here because of you. I was a horrible husband, going into the beds of other women and being a shameful drunk, and I drove you to what you did.”

I looked up at him, trying to understand it all. He didn’t blame me for his death? How was that even possible?

Alastor took another step towards me, almost as if he were about to take me into his arms, but then changed his mind.

“
I saw you when they arrested you,” he confessed. “I tried to go to you and tell you that I forgave you and that I was so sorry for everything that happened, but I only seemed to frighten you. I think I frightened you so badly that you took your own life and it broke my heart that you were then damned.”

“
Damned?”

“
I knew you were damned because I never saw you after that,” he said. I waited here for so long, but you never came until that day I heard you call to me and I knew that you had returned.”

“
The séance…” I whispered with realization.

Alastor nodded and smiled, “And that’s when I knew.”

“
When you knew what?”

He came around to stand behind me. I could feel the cold energy radiating off of him.

“
That’s when I knew that we belonged together. War, adultery, and murder have been unable to tear us apart.”

I felt a tingling sensation on my head as he stroked my hair.

“
No matter what,” he whispered. “You belong to me.”

Before I could say anything, there was a blast of frigid air and he was gone. I turned in a circle, searching the darkness, but I was alone.

I sighed and began my walk home, knowing he was watching me from somewhere and also wondering how this could ever end happily.

Chapter 12

The days leading up to the dance were miserably long. Alastor took every opportunity to remind me that his feelings for me were so much stronger than anything Jonah could ever feel.

It was exhausting to argue with him, so I avoided him as much as possible. It was more difficult than I expected to avoid a ghost, but he didn’t seem as strong when I was over at Billie or Ally’s house, so I spent most of the days before the dance bouncing between their houses. With all the preparations, it was easy to find an excuse not to be at home.

Alastor was restless in my absence. Dad called the electrician out to the house twice in one week due to the lights flickering or dimming suddenly. I knew it was Alastor, but I didn’t even try to reason with him, I just let him continue with his games.

All of his antics would have drawn more attention, but Dad was still preoccupied with the house. He spent most of his time at antique stores and auctions, trying to find the perfect balance of contemporary and period pieces.

“I’m trying to bring back a little of the history,” Dad explained as he skimmed the pages of his newest antiques guide at breakfast. “But at the same time, I don’t want it to look like an old haunted house.”

I tried to keep from laughing and spitting my cereal across the table, “No. We wouldn’t want that.”

The night of the dance, I got ready under Alastor’s watchful gaze. He said nothing, but his brilliant blue eyes followed me as I moved about the room. It was as if he was trying to make me feel guilty for wanting the most normal things in a girl’s life.

“Either say something or go away.” I finally snapped as I finished my makeup.

Silence.

“I’m not doing anything wrong.” I added.

Again, more silence.

I heard a car door slam and went to the window. Down below, Jonah looked stunning in his tuxedo as he came up the walk. Stunning and real.

Taking a deep breath, I tried to summon up enough courage for this. I was really doing this. There was no turning back.

As I turned from the window, Alastor appeared directly in my path. “Don’t go.”

The note of panic in his voice made me pause and look up into his face. His coppery hair was falling slightly over his eyes, it made him look younger and very human.

I wanted to push his hair back and have him take me in his arms, but I knew I couldn’t. How was it possible to be so close to someone, but still so alone?

“What do you want from me?” I demanded.

Alastor moved closer to me, closer than a living person could ever get.

“I don’t want you to go.” He whispered.

I said nothing. I closed my eyes and tried to capture the feeling of him against me from my memory.

“Alastor…” I pleaded.

“I cannot bear the thought of another man looking down at this beautiful face or kissing these lips.”

My eyes were still closed, but I felt a tingling sensation over my lips. It was his phantom touch that set my skin on fire and made me doubt my choices.

Alastor’s voice was close to my ear. “I hate the thought of another man taking you in his arms to dance with you.”

I opened my eyes and looked up into his mist-like face. I spoke his name and watched him grow stronger. “Alastor, I—“

The chime of the doorbell interrupted me. I could hear Jonah downstairs greeting my dad. For a fleeting moment I wished that he would just go away.

I looked back at Alastor, wanting to cry. I wished I could freeze time for us for just a moment.

“Kiss me.” I begged him. “Really kiss me just once.”

Alastor’s face contorted in pain, his voice raspy and crackling. “I can’t.”

The reality of the situation hit me. He was an apparition. He wasn’t real and never would be.

“
Then let me go.” I whispered as I stepped around him. “Give me this one night.”

I didn’t look back at him as I left the bedroom and went downstairs to where Jonah was waiting for me.

Jonah opened the car door and was gentleman enough to avert his eyes as I got in. It was difficult to be modest in such a short skirt while getting in and out of a vehicle, and if he did see anything, he was too polite to mention it.

Once he had me inside, he got in on the driver’s side and headed us down Capitol Avenue. Jonah mentioned earlier in the week that he was taking me somewhere special for dinner tonight, and as we headed toward downtown, I began wondering what he had in mind.

“
So where are we going?” I asked, trying to keep my voice even and light despite my nerves.

“
I thought we’d go to one of my favorite restaurants.” He said with a friendly smile that nearly stopped my heart. Did he have to be so good looking?

Jonah turned at the town square and then immediately into a parking place. We were at Magdalena’s Restaurant and for a fleeting moment I went back to the day when I saw Alastor’s reflection in the window. I shook my head to clear it and smiled at Jonah when he came around to open my door.

I didn’t want to think about Alastor. I wanted to think about Jonah and this perfect evening. Without meaning to, I had just made myself very nervous. Why was this so difficult? Why was it all so confusing.

Magdalena’s was slightly crowded—it was just at the start of the dinner rush. The middle aged hostess smiled at Jonah as soon as we entered.

“
Well look at the two of you,” she said with a wide smile. “Don’t you look nice?”

I still wasn’t used to the familiar way that people in Corydon spoke to each other whether they knew each other or not. She could be a close friend of Jonah’s family or a complete stranger. There was no way to tell and it always made me uncomfortable. I blushed and looked away.

“
I called ahead about a table for two.” Jonah said, making me even more giddy at the idea of a table just for us.

She led us to a small table in the center of the room. The other diners looked over at us with amused smiles, making me feel very conspicuous. Did they all have to stare at us?

“
Your server will be right with you.” She said with another overly friendly smile and walked away.

When the server arrived I skimmed the menu and picked the wild raspberry chicken salad and a soda. Jonah placed his own order and then smiled across the table at me.

“
You’re not one of those salad girls are you?” He asked.

I looked up at him confused, “I don’t know what you mean.”

Jonah flashed his perfect white teeth, “You know what I mean, those girls that don’t want guys to know that they ever eat, so when they go out all they order is a salad.”

I giggled, “Not hardly. I just love raspberries. It’s sort of my version of chocolate.”

A vision flashed in my mind of Alastor and I picking berries at the edge of the rose garden. We were laughing and smiling as we fed the ripe berries to each other. I could taste the sticky sweetness on his lips when we kissed.

I shuddered and pushed the memory from my mind.

“
You okay?” Jonah asked.

“
Just a little chill. I’m fine.”

I was grateful that Jonah didn’t ask for any further explanation.

“
So you would rather have a basket of raspberries than a box of chocolates? He asked with a charming grin.

“
Afraid so.”

He smiled wider and I even though I saw him wink.

“
Good to know.” He laughed.

I didn’t want to read too much into what he said so I just blushed and looked down at the tabletop.

“
You look very beautiful tonight.” He said with a confident grin.

“
Thanks.”

There was an awkward silence then, making me very aware of the sound of my own breathing. Was it always that loud? I shifted in my chair, crossing and uncrossing my legs. I was relieved when our food came.

Jonah noticed my fidgeting and seemed amused. “You aren’t nervous, are you?”

“
Is it that obvious?”

“
Yes.” He said with teasing eyes. “But it’s okay, I’m nervous too.”

I looked at this vision of high school perfection sitting across from me and shook my head. “What do
you
have to be nervous about?”

“
Well,” he said. “I’m a little shocked that you agreed to be my date.”

“
Why?”

Jonah took a sip of his cola and then placed his long hands flat on the table very near mine.

“
I heard that someone else might be taking you to the dance.” He said.

“
Oh.” I whispered, taking a bite of my salad. I tried to think about what to say next, but the taste of the raspberries took me back to the salty taste of Alastor’s fingers as he pushed a ripe berry between my lips.

I shook my head again, “Is that why you wouldn’t speak to me for a while?”

“
Yes.” He admitted with another grin. “I kind of thought you were stringing me along.”

Was he actually jealous? It didn’t seem possible.

“
I wouldn’t string you along.” I defended, still in shock.

Jonah leaned toward me, “So who’s this guy everyone was talking about? Is he an old boyfriend?”

Memories flashed behind my eyes of mine and Alastor’s wedding, him kissing my naked skin in the rose garden, his face when I shot him, and lastly, Alastor in my room earlier begging me not to leave.

I shifted my eyes away, still tasting the raspberries on my lips from long ago. “It’s complicated.”

Chapter 13

The homecoming dance was in the gym. It seemed odd to me all these people in their formal attire, were circulating in a room that reeks of gym socks.