Spyforce Revealed (12 page)

And following this was a scribbled smudge that looked like a misguided worm had slid through a puddle of ink and left its scrawled mark.

Steinberger reached across and after another click sound, which Max saw was the
stop
button on a tape machine, the music stopped.

‘What do you think?' Harrison's eyes lit up like a miniature amusement park and, Max thought, the room seemed to go even dimmer. ‘The bravery and skill you exhibited in outsmarting Blue are some of the finest examples of, well, bravery and skill we've seen at the Force and we think you'll make excellent additions to an already highly intelligent network of agents.'

Max turned to look at Linden, but he was smiling at Ella who was looking back at him and blushing like some kind of sunburnt sea slug.

Harrison continued.

‘There'll be times when you'll be incognito at
some of the world's richest playgrounds or standing side by side with some of the most sinister human beings to ever get dressed in the mornings. Or times when you'll be facing situations so terrifying, it'll take all your energy just to keep sneezing … make that, breathing. Danger will become your closest associate, lurking behind you like a black panther. Quiet and dangerous and ready to strike at any second.'

As Harrison finished, the lights brightened and Max spied Steinberger at the dimmer switch.

She was stupefied. She was sitting in the headquarters of the world's top spy agency, being asked to become a Superspy.

She tried to find a suitable answer to such an important invitation and cursed in her head when all she could come up with was, ‘Okay.'

Ella and Linden were also in.

‘Yeah.'

‘Sounds great.'

‘Excrement … oops, sorry. I mean, excellent. Of course as Spyforce agents, your identity will remain a secret outside these walls and you will tell no one, not even your closest friends and relatives, of your position. Secrecy is the linchpin of our survival. And once you've been inducted as agents
of Spyforce, you're members for life. We just need to get you fitted out, give you your spy pack and a few others strings … make that
things
, and you'll be on your way.'

Just then a series of ringing sounds was heard.

‘That'll be the phone.' Steinberger began looking around the room. ‘What was it last time, sir?' he asked Harrison.

‘Cricket bat, I think. It was the iron the time before that, which could have been nasty if it'd been left on.'

Max, Linden and Ella looked on as the two men checked boxes, lifted papers and opened cupboards searching for the phone, and every now and then picking up cups, bells or rulers before saying ‘hello'.

‘Here it is.' Harrison picked up a golf ball. He pulled the ball in two halves that were joined by a piece of electrical wire and spoke into it.

‘Hello?'

There followed a series of uh-huh's that became more solemn as the call went on.

Steinberger explained the phone situation. ‘As a security measure, the Central Response Investigative Safety Patrol or CRISP, which is responsible for the internal security of Spyforce, changes the phone system on a regular basis.'

‘I see,' Harrison continued. ‘We only have one choice then.'

He clicked the two ends of the ball together and looked seriously at his three new agents.

‘Team, you're about to go on your first mission.'

Mission! Max sat up ready to accept her orders.

‘As you know, when you courageously uncovered the criminal activities of Blue, he resigned from the Department of Science and New Technologies and went very quiet for a while. Now if there's one thing we've learnt about Blue over the years, it's that when he goes quiet, you can bet your right shoe he's up to nothing … I mean, something.'

Harrison came back to the desk and sat importantly in his chair.

‘He seemed to have stopped his evil ways and adopted a new public face as the manufacturer of a range of food for kids. He's marketed his foods with much success. Like the Alien Snot Jelly range, which is the number one jelly in the country. Everything looks innocent enough, but Spyforce has uncovered information which suggests Blue has invented a concoction, that when eaten, controls minds. Now that his foods are so popular he is going to include the ingredient in his recipes and begin his domination of the minds of
children all over the world. We must slop him! I mean, stop him. And who better than the three of you to do it. You've seen first-hand how Blue's mind works and as kids you will be the perfect undercover agents for this mission. Of course, you'll need to be in disguise. As Blue has seen your faces, he will recognise you instantly if he sees you as you are.'

‘We'll have aliases.' Linden pictured himself smartly dressed and walking with the swagger and style of James Bond. Max pictured herself dangling from helicopters, climbing mountains and parachuting from planes.

‘What do we need to do?' asked Ella.

‘You will infiltrate Blue's factory, Blue's Foods, and go undercover as …' Harrison paused to add dramatic effect, ‘BRATTs.'

Max's shoulders fell.

‘Excuse me?'

‘BRATTs. Bona-fide Registered Authorised Taste Testers.'

‘Is that a real job?' Linden became excited.

‘It certainly is,' Steinberger leapt in to clarify. ‘There are kids who travel all around the world simply to taste new foods. They are accompanied by a parent or guardian who ensures they eat well
and study for school as well as complete specified BRATT training courses.'

‘Why didn't anyone ever tell me about this before?' Linden puzzled. ‘That's it, I'm switching careers. I know I've only been a spy for about five minutes, but I'm not too big a man to say I made the wrong choice.'

Ella giggled as Linden tried for as long as he could to hold the serious pose he'd taken. It didn't last long.

Max stared at both of them wondering what it would take to have their mission treated a little seriously.

Harrison completed his instructions. ‘An agent has been placed in the factory as a nude technologist … um, excuse me, I mean a fully clothed, food technologist and will be your point of contact once inside. Sleek will take you as close as he can to the factory where another agent will meet you and declothe the rest of the mission details … that's, um, disclose the details. For now Steinberger will take you to the lab where Quimby will equip you with all the deer you need … um, that's
gear
you need, and provide you with your disguises and new aliases.'

He rose and stood at attention. Max, Linden
and Ella followed his lead and only just held back an impulse to salute.

‘I believe you're the best team for this job and have no doubt that Mission Blue's Foods will be a swift and successful operation. There's just one thing left to say: all systems are go.' Harrison surrendered a cheeky smirk. ‘Always sounded so good when the
Thunderbirds
said it, so I've borrowed it for Spyforce. Good luck, team!'

With Harrison's words resonating in their ears like the bells of Big Ben, Max, Linden and Ella followed Steinberger out of his office to be equipped for their first mission as Spyforce agents.

After a cramped ride in another terracotta pot, Max, Linden, Ella and Steinberger arrived at Quimby's lab ready to be equipped for Mission Blue's Foods.

‘This is a very special part of the Force. It's the birthplace of many of the inventions that are created here at Spyforce and is run by perhaps one of the most brilliant scientists in this country, maybe the world. Why there's even …'

Steinberger was cut off by the sudden appearance of Dretch stealing out of the lab. ‘Ah, Dretch. Good to see you again. Doing a little maintenance work?'

Dretch flinched and spun round, offering the three new spies a prickly stare like they'd just run over his favourite pet. With one eye poking out from behind his craggy fringe, they each felt an icecold tingle run down their spines that made them want to reach for a long warm coat to stop their blood from freezing over.

‘Urrrrr,' urred Dretch as he skulked away, his sagging maroon coat only just managing to cling to his hunched shoulders.

‘The Hunchback of Notre Dame stands a good chance of losing his job as long as that guy's around,' Ella shivered, still trying to shake the icy chill.

‘Yeah and if the Hunchback was ever hard up on cash he could earn a few dollars giving Dretch a few beauty tips.' Linden rubbed his shoulders, trying to get some warmth back into them.

Just then, Delilah burst out from behind the lab door and screeched past Max's nose before landing expertly on all four paws and rushing after her owner.

Max wasn't feeling so comical about Dretch's bad attitude or his cat's sudden appearance. She needed to know more.

‘What's wrong with him?' she demanded of Steinberger.

‘Dretch? Nothing. He's just got a different way of looking at the world from most people.' And then he baulked like he was trying to work out how to say the next part. ‘Sometimes when things go wrong it can leave people quite … changed.'

‘Did something bad happen to him when he was a spy?'

‘Let's just say there's a kind and good man hidden beneath that somewhat rough exterior.'

‘Any more rough an exterior and he could double as barbed wire,' mumbled Linden.

Max wasn't going to let Steinberger off so easily. ‘But what did he mean when he said
others like us have come before and have never been seen again?'

‘He said that?'

‘Yes. Outside the VART.'

‘He has an unusual sense of humour not many of us share. Trust me. He'd never mean that.'

Steinberger turned away, eager to end the conversation and knocked on the door of the lab.

‘Come in,' a small disembodied voice moused from within.

Steinberger led the way inside but Max wasn't satisfied. That was the second time they'd seen Dretch and something told her he may not have been in the lab for Spyforce business alone. And how come he was in there just as they were about to receive their spy packs? He'd made it clear he didn't want them around and maybe he was planning something to get rid of them sooner. She made a note to keep an eye on Dretch and was determined to find out what it was Steinberger wasn't saying about him.

The lab was a shining maze of chrome benches, transistors, resistors, circuit boards, cords, wires, diodes and electrical gadgets that ticked, flicked and whirred. There were cupboards with glass doors toppling over with jars, tubes and bottles. There
were fridges, burners, beakers, soldering irons, clamps, safety masks and an enormous fish tank with seaweed, a little stone castle and a small tropical fish called Fish.

‘Team.' Steinberger referred to them now as ‘Team'. ‘Meet Professor Quimby, the head inventor of Spyforce. She's a professor of physics, astrophysics, chemistry, robotics and holds the trophy for Spyforce bowling champion three years in a row.'

Quimby looked embarrassed.

‘A few lucky strikes, that's all.'

She looked away and buried her burning red face in the long wisps of dark hair that fell around her head like a shower curtain. A bright pink scarf tied in a knot at the back of her head struggled to hold the rest of it in some kind of order. She wore a long yellow coat over baggy dark blue trousers and red and white striped trainers.

‘Before each Spyforce mission, our agents are supplied with packs that have been specially equipped for their particular assignment. It's up to Quimby and the lab staff to read the mission specifications and decide what you may need. They're experts at this and have never been wrong yet. Quimby?'

The scientist's head shot up like she'd just heard a loud bang.

‘Would you like to take our new recruits through their packs?'

Quimby pushed another snaking piece of hair out of her face with her latex-gloved fingers. In front of her were three backpacks of differing designs and colours.

‘We don't have much time. We've been preparing for this mission for weeks and now that it's happening, we've no time to lose. These may look like ordinary bags but they are in fact bottomless. No matter how much you put in them, they will never be full and never heavier than five kilograms. Also, if you open the pack completely, it can be spread out so far it can be used it as a coat, a piece of camouflage — it is colour sensitive so that it instantly blends in with your surroundings — or with these strings, even a parachute. It also has a special locking device that is sensitive to your fingerprints. The instant you touch it, the bag will recognise your prints and open only for you.'

She held out a booklet called
1001 Uses for a Super Pack
. ‘All the possible uses and functions of the bag are spelt out in this.'

She undid the zipper around one of the packs
and opened the front cover to reveal what was inside and picked up a matchbox-sized device that looked like a miniature TV.

‘This is a Substance Analyser Meter, or SAM. It can identify almost any known substance in existence. All you need to do is hold the top end of the SAM to the substance you wish to identify and within seconds a reading of all the components of that substance will appear on this screen along with their level of toxicity or danger.'

‘Better not put it near one of your jokes or the thing will explode,' Linden whispered in Max's ear. Max opened her mouth to shoot off a reply but when she heard the tittering of Ella nearby, she pursed her lips so tightly they resembled the rear end of an uptight cat.

‘And this,' continued Quimby, blowing an unruly piece of hair from her mouth, ‘is a Danger Meter. In the presence of danger, it emits an electronic pulse. The stronger the vibrations, the more dangerous the situation. It's best to wear this inside your clothes, so when there's danger nearby, you'll know it instantly.'

She then picked up a circular metallic disc and held it carefully in her hand.

‘This precious thing moves objects from a
distance. Just point the channelling beam at the object you'd like to move and control the movement of the object with this miniature joystick. It's called the RHINO
,
or the Remote Hauling Infra-nice Operator.'

‘Infra-nice?' Ella queried.

‘Yeff,' murmured Quimby as her scarf finally failed to hold back her wild hair and fell over her face. ‘We decided we liked the name RHINO and we couldn't think of another suitable word that started with N.'

The professor then handed them each a watch and asked them to put them on.

Linden's was a transparent ice-blue colour that showed the components working inside. Ella's was silver with a fliptop cover that revealed a red metallic watchface, while Max's was bright pink with a picture of a pony behind two sparkling watch hands.

‘Pink?' she asked in disgust. ‘I can't wear pink. And what's with the pony?'

‘These are walkie-talkie watches,' said Quimby timidly.

‘I'm sure they are,' Max agreed firmly. ‘But I can't be seen anywhere wearing this. I'll have to have a different one.'

‘I'm afraid you can't,' Quimby reasoned. ‘Each
watch has been specially made for each of you and adjusted to a certain frequency that is suited only to the allocated wearer.'

Max knew she couldn't argue against that and wanted to get on with the mission.

‘Okay. I'll wear the stupid watch. How do they work?'

‘Simply adjust the frequency to the person you wish to speak to and press the side button to begin talking. Max, your frequency is one, Linden on two and Ella, you're on three.'

Quimby reached for another gadget.

‘This laser gun cuts through solid metal, this cupcake bomb lets off a silent wall of tear gas and the truth gum makes the chewer speak nothing but the truth. Everything you have in your packs has been personally checked by me and is in full working order,' she finished proudly.

‘What do these lollipops do?' asked Linden.

‘Nothing. They're just lollipops. A lot of agents have a sweet tooth so we throw them in as a treat. There are pens and notepads too that are also just pens and notepads. And these,' said Quimby reaching for three covered coat hangers on a rack nearby, ‘are your disguises.'

Max, Ella and Linden took their hangers as
the sound of zippers being unzipped circled around the lab.

Quimby continued. ‘From now on you'll be known as Cynthia, Jeremy and Angelina.'

Max's face screwed into a crunched-up mess as she held out a pink ribboned dress and long blonde wig.

‘Don't tell me. I'm Cynthia.'

Ella held out a baggy pair of trousers and a bright T-shirt. ‘Which I guess makes me Angelina.'

Linden sifted through his bag to find a pair of trainers, dark denim jeans and a sports shirt and cap. ‘Hello there Jeremy.'

Max looked at both of them smiling smugly with their new identities. Of course they'd be happy, she thought, since the whole concept of fashion had managed to pass them by their entire lives. The watch was one thing but she wasn't going to take the rest of it lying down.

‘I don't want to be Cynthia.'

‘Max, it's just for the mission. Happens all the time in the business.' Suddenly Linden was an authority.

‘Okay, Mr Expert. You be Cynthia.'

‘I'm a boy.'

‘I'll be Cynthia,' Ella volunteered.

Of course, Max thought. Little Miss Perfect once again acts all nice.

‘I don't want to be Angelina either,' said Max, not willing to let Ella win.

All four of them stared at Max.

‘After the mission, you'll go back to being Max,' Quimby assured her. ‘But for now your identities are fixed.'

Just then Frond billowed through the door, her coat trailing behind her in a red swirling whoosh and her beehive hairdo half-collapsed like a mini Leaning Tower of Pisa. Steinberger's face drained of colour so much he almost disappeared in the white glowing lab except for the beads of sweat that again began dappling his nervous brow.

‘Sorry I'm late. I got caught up with an oversized Venus Flytrap who mistook me for lunch. My fault. Should have remembered it was feeding time.'

Frond's coat pocket was torn and her sleeve seemed covered in some kind of milky-coloured goo. In a blurred daze, Steinberger lifted her hand which had a few scratch marks and a tiny trickle of blood. He wiped it against his jacket in a smooth, slow gesture but when he realised his hand was holding hers, he let it go instantly and looked very much like he was going to faint.

‘I think I might wait outside,' he stammered, trying to work out how to make his feet walk towards the door and tripping over them in the process.

Frond was unphased as she lifted a small cotton pouch onto Quimby's desk.

‘I've brought a few Plantorium goodies that may come in handy, like this sneeze powder. It makes people sneeze continuously and, as you know, it's impossible to sneeze and keep your eyes open at the same time. Just throw a little at the person you wish to distract. Great for when you need to make a quick getaway. I've also included a stink bomb for those times when you need to clear a room fast or just leave a nasty surprise for someone evil. You'll find a face mask in there as well to save you from the bomb's smelly wares and there are a few nature bars from Irene in case you get hungry. Packed full of fruit, vitamins and minerals.'

Then she stopped and smiled proudly. ‘Good luck, and may the Force be with you.'

Max, Linden and Ella were shown to a series of change rooms nearby where they put on their new outfits. Linden and Ella looked up when Max came out, but before they had a chance to say anything, she stopped them.

‘Not one word, okay. Not a smirk, not a giggle. Nothing.'

She led the way, walking a little uneasily in her patent leather shoes and dress that looked like a giant pink marshmallow. She grabbed her pack, said goodbye and headed out of the lab where they found a calmer and more colourful Steinberger, happy to see the disguises working so well.

‘You look …' he began.

‘Um, it's best not to mention it actually,' warned Linden.

‘Right. To the Vehicular All-Response Tower,' he commanded, like he was leading some kind of cavalry in battle.

After another ride in a terracotta pot that took them on a short cut to the VART, Steinberger stood in front of them on the long metal deck as the lights above them swayed gently in the breeze. Sleek, dressed in brown leather goggles, a cap and a long, scuffed coat like he was some Second World War fighter pilot, warmed up the engine on the Sleek Machine below. Max, Linden and Ella stood ready for their journey, thick-lensed goggles hanging around their necks.

‘Good luck, team.'

Steinberger handed them their BRATT
authorisation badges and papers as well as a London A-Z each. He also gave them some money and three rather large hankies.

‘My grandma always used to say, wherever you go you'll never be lost if you have a hanky and she hasn't been wrong yet.'

He was sounding a little choked up and tears moistened the corners of his eyes. Max took her hanky and hoped he wasn't going to cry. She hated anyone bawling in front of her. It made her feel annoyingly embarrassed and curious as to why people didn't save their tears until they were somewhere other people didn't have to witness them. Especially her.