Star Woman in Love (40 page)

The Masters devised the Plan in order to tackle many aspects of human cognition.
One of the arenas in which human consciousness requires total reprogramming is our understanding of the nature of relationships, including the sacredness of Twin Flame love. It would be wrong to say that Twin Flames are two halves of the same soul. Indeed, each soul is complete in itself. It would otherwise be a contradiction in terms. We are whole as we reflect the wholeness of Creation. The idea of Twin Souls as being two parts of a whole is purely third-dimensional
. The truth is that Twin Souls are the only beings capable of reflecting each other’s wholeness. This is a pact they had entered into before their first incarnation.

The concept of “relationship” itself changes from a fourth-dimensional stance. On the third-dimensional Earth, many people understand, and enter into, relationships from a place of victim consciousness. They can’t be on their own and often their lives feel meaningless without the biological impulse to reproduce physically. Even at this level, a relationship can be seen as the
 
process by which we draw to ourselves partners with whom we engage, and who allow us to see, outside of ourselves, some reflection of the many
 
aspects of our authentic or inauthentic identity.

The purpose of
each relationship is unique and can help us tackle particular issues in our consciousness that need improvement, acceptance, or a combination thereof. In this sense, we can see that all relationships contain the element of karma: between parents and offspring, brothers and sisters, partners and friends. Some relationships are marital, some platonic, other sexual, some are abusive, other are romantic, and so on. The content and length of any relationship are perfectly ordered and appropriate to the lessons that they contain.

In truth, everything is a reflection of the whole of which we are but a small part. Our nature is that wholeness which can be seen in every encounter we observe, in every person we relate to. Even trivial encounters can be seen as mirrors of one’s Self. But the most constant mirrors for reflecting our totality are found in those souls we chose to surround ourselves with as our immediate family; parents, siblings, and spouses. They have important teachings for us, and us for them. They are our soul family, and we chose a form of relationship that remains in our energy field for most of our lives.

Although I understood the Masters’ teachings on this topic, I was rather puzzled at how in my experience all the romantic bonds that I had formed seemed to be short-lived; I always ended up being on my own. I consoled myself with the thought that all the learnings I could ever gain from a number of people, I could ultimately find condensed in one single individual: my Twin Flame. And then I met you.

Twin Flame relationships can be seen as a dress rehearsal for developing a fully-fledged relationship with the Divinity. The Twins become alive as completely developed, enlightened souls. This is the case even if one of the two people interrupts physical contact, as is the case with deaths and divorces. Our separation, Oscar, falls within this category. This is why individuals may feel haunted by the memory of a
 
deceased or estranged partner; despite the physical separation, their souls are still engaged in their promise to be of service to one another. Vows made in moments of eternity are forever. Love made in timelessness is for keeps, my dear. Karmic connections like ours can transcend lifetimes if need be.

Twin Flames are two souls whose growth into healing and service can be so flawlessly balanced that they can follow the Plan and each other everlastingly through that relationship. Twin Flameship is thus the highest form of relationship, and a gift for humanity. It is a mechanism for ascension into Oneness, the condition of totality that makes the body capable of miracles. Once all karma has been cleansed between the Twins, together they can become functioning parts of the Plan to bring the Earth to its heavenly nature. They can serve either as Ascended Masters or as Earth Angels. Perfect Twin Flameship is the ethos of the relationships between, for instance, Lady Venus and Sanat Kumara, Lady Portia and St. Germain, St. Clare and St. Francis, Mother Mary and Archangel Raphael, Lady Myriam and Lord Lumiel. I hope the list will include you and me one day.

Twin Flameship functions as a shortcut into the fourth dimension because the amount of Light that pours through it is unlike any other human-to-human connection. This is the reason why, when two Twin Flames are awakened and mutually aware of their potential, and they sustain a harmonious relationship, their lives will be surrendered to the Flow of Creation and be full of wonder. The love that flows in Twin Flameship is not human; it is the love of the Morning Star channelled by two human vessels.

In truth, Twin Flameship does not require romantic or sexual union. But of course that’s often how things turn out in human terms. The level of deep connection, however, is in the soul of the Twins. What is reflected outside by the Twin’s Mirror is what is taking place at the inner level between the
animus
and the
anima
of each individual. A resolution and harmonisation of deeper processes within the two individuals can give rise to the synchronised flow of the Life Force and the manifestation of the Masters’ Plan on Earth through the couple. Unfortunately, often the human’s willful intent jumbles up the magnificence of the Plan’s unfoldment in one’s life. For this reasons, seldom do Twin Flame relationships reach the peak of their potential on Earth. Indeed, for this type of magical connection to sustain the love it generates, the Twins must surrender completely to the Plan.

You and I made a mistake. We let our egos enter the sacred precinct of our Holy Union. As a result, we
annihilated each other’s Flame, at least for a while. You stubbornly ran away from trying to understand what had drawn you to me, and I was headstrong in my refusal to fully surrender my will to the Plan. We let our Divine Sparks dwindle into third-dimensional, ego-based love in our futile attempt to claim ownership of what wasn’t ours in the first place.

The sadness of our demise, dear Oscar, is that we were truly blessed and being guided to find each other. On this sorrowful third-dimensional Earth where you live, Twin Flames can pass each other like ships in the night. So they don’t recognise each other and fail to catch a glimpse of their complete Selves in someone else’s eyes. We were blessed, my only love: we knew of our Holy Bond. Why did we choose to curse ourselves instead?

* * * *

Dublin, March 2012

“Cassandra, what has become of us? I don’t think you can love me anymore. You see, my heart is frozen. I don’t have a glimmer of hope for the blessing of the thaw. Time has gone by, between us, between me and my memories of you. So many years have passed it’s impossible for me to even remember what it felt like. You were the centre of my life back then. Love filled the air and my days. My world gravitated around you.

Life has changed me. I’m no longer living: I’m surviving. I wear my brave face and get on with it, but I suffer when I think about those days we shared. About the loss of who we were. Sometimes I think that I should hate you because you let me leave you in the end. But how can I blame you? I let you down in all possible ways...

And yet when the thought of you comes to my mind, I know I still love you, undeniably. The void in my chest where your Star once shone is now a crater full of sorrow. I feel so restless. I try to avoid the thought of you with all of my might. My heart froze over when I accepted the hurt that I had caused you. I have become an emotional stone since. I wish I could forget you, my beautiful lover of nights of old. I tried. Random sex, alcohol, pot, cocaine, even heroin. Nothing worked.

When I close my eyes you’re still there, with your eyes wide open. You could never close your eyes when you were lying beside me, in my arms. You watched over me for many long hours, trying to absorb the darkness crushing my soul. Your hand always rested gently on my head as if to protect my mind from the thoughts plaguing it. Your head was on my chest soothing my heart.

Are you still watching over me? Do you still harbour kind thoughts for the man you once loved? I can’t fool myself. You must have forgotten me by now. I failed you and I failed to learn how to love you constantly. I failed the Plan. I knew even then that my attempt was partially doomed. You walked into my arms like a sacrificial victim, bearing the torch of your love as your guiding light. I miss you more than ever this morning, as I’m heading home to a life that I don’t own. I want my true life back but I know I can’t have it. I’m damned. I’ve started drinking again. I had given up for two years, and it’s a pity I hit the bottle after you slept with my brother. I prefer to remember how you hurt me rather than stay locked in this passionless life. I think of you, hoping to find some peace. You used to help me with my problems.

Recently my thoughts have kept wondering back to the night we first made love. The vodka helps when the vice-like clench squeezes my heart, hard and long. What I call the ‘pain of without you’ is so deep that it’s woken my spirit from its hibernation. So I’m writing these words to you.

Maybe I’ll find the courage to come to Tara today, where we had planned to meet, all those years ago, should things go wrong. Even in our hey-day you had considered a back-up plan. You know us so well... Things couldn’t have been any worse than they are, really. Why should I turn up? All is left of me is just the decayed shell of the spirit you once loved. Should I bother keeping our promise, I wonder: I know that to you I am as if dead...

Oscar stopped typing and let his fingers rest on the keyboard. From our Observation Room in Shambhala, we could see him sitting on an Aer Lingus plane routed to Dublin Airport. It was important to keep track of him. We were pledged to do so. He was visibly sad and tormented. He closed the lid of his notebook as soon as the ‘fasten your seatbelt’ sign came on. Another letter to Cassandra. He had written over twenty such epistles in the past twelve months. Not one of them was ever sent. He was simply talking to the part of himself that still remembered his life’s purpose.

We had read all of them as they were being typed. Their content came straight from his aching, faulty heart. Oscar’s cardiac condition was something that needed to be taken into consideration. His body was still human and very fragile; it had not been perfected yet. At the time he had met Cassandra, his mind was strong, that was true, but his heart made it falter frequently. After all, as every initiate could testify, it is the heart that is the seat of the soul and always has the final say over the mind. We knew from day one that his heart’s fragility was going to mean problems, mistakes, tragedy, and ultimately the creation of Time when timelessness was required. Cassandra’s choice of a partner was a challenge, to say the least. We were prepared for some difficulties. But we were not ready for the level of trouble this self-loathing, lovelorn artist would bring to the Plan.

His indecision created a vacuum: a gap out of time, a tear into non-existence, a delay fuelled by ego-charged nightmares. We called it ‘the Twin Dimension of Illusion’. This peculiarity was the offspring of Oscar’s doubts. Unfortunately it brought the enfoldment of the Plan to an abrupt stop and had been the cause of much concern during the previous fourteen years.

Oscar put his headphones on. Music would relax him. He took another sip from his glass and stared out of the window at the expanse of sea below him. He felt Cassandra near him, unmistakably, though his eyes couldn’t see her. This worried us. She lived with us in Shambhala; we needed her to be free from all her past connections to the third dimensional Earth.

We saw Oscar squeeze the armrest with his left hand, automatically, as the plane started its descent. He was terrified of dying as much as he’d grown tired of living. Luckily it was a smooth landing. The plane continued swiftly along the runway, gradually losing speed until it came to a halt and the lights in the cabin were switched back on. The day was misty and typical of the Irish spring: 21 March 2012, the Spring Equinox. Oscar put his hand on his weakening heart with the gesture that characterised him. He became sure that he would soon meet Cassandra. She was calling him. He couldn’t quite believe it, yet he began to feel love again and his soul became one with the Earth. Unexpectedly, we lost his frequency and his image disappeared from our screens in the Observation Room. 

______________

Tara, 21 March 2012

“Cassie!!! You’re here at last!!!”

Letizia and Polly ran over to hug me as I stepped into the coffee house. We didn’t physically see each other often in those days. As I lived in Shambhala, we limited ourselves to telepathic exchanges until it would be time for us to meet up again on Earth, approximately once a year. That day was one of such occasions. My friends didn’t know that I was there to meet you too. They would have stopped me otherwise. I had to guard my thoughts carefully. But I was very happy to see them.

A waitress appeared carrying a tray. “Tea is served, ladies.”

I enjoyed the trivial conversation of the following hour, in which I discussed the latest beauty treatments and fashions with my long-time friends. I sounded normal and relaxed. But my eyes kept wondering to the door. I knew you would appear soon. I was starting to grow anxious when a robin landed on the windowsill behind me. It had a message for me; from you.