Stay (8 page)

He murmured something in his sleep and pressed her closer to his side.

Syd smiled.
How odd, to cheat on Wolf with Wolf
. But she wasn’t cheating. The men were one and the same. If she’d ever had any doubts about Lucas’s identity, making love with him had erased every single one.

Only Wolf could do this to her, make her come apart. Turn her into an insatiable wanton. Burn her up from the inside out.

It wasn’t her imagination. She still felt the burn throughout her entire body. He’d marked her, just like before.

Damn
.

Syd told herself to be careful. It wouldn’t do to be happy for a change. Happiness was a risk she could ill afford when Wolf was involved.

What if he disappears again?

“What’s the matter?”

She felt Lucas’s abdominal muscles tighten beneath her hand. He stretched, a long, lean, lazy, languid motion, and he opened his eyes. They found hers immediately.

She moved her hand lower to stroke his penis, bringing him to half-mast in mere seconds.

He laughed. “So soon?”

Syd raised herself on an elbow, continuing her caresses. She dropped her guard and smiled a smile reserved for him alone. “Yes, but this time I get to be the boss.”

Laughing, he pulled her on top. “You are my boss.”

“Oh, I forgot about that.” She laughed with him. “Promise you won’t sue me for sexual harassment?” Syd teased him with her words and the warmth of her body, rubbing her nipples over his chest.

He groaned his agreement, palming her breasts with his calloused hands.

“Oh god, Lucas…” She maneuvered her body directly above him. He was very erect. “I don’t want to wait.”

His eyes were half-closed, but he smiled, saying, “Haven’t you ever heard that patience is a virtue?”

“I’ve never been a patient woman,” she said. “Meet me halfway. Please.”

“There’s that please again.” He did meet her without hesitation, thrusting his hips upward. “Tight,” he murmured, and he moved his hands to her waist, supporting her.

Syd made no response, other than to close her eyes and concentrate on their mutual pleasure.

She loved being with him, loved the feel of him inside. It didn’t matter what he was‌—‌man, angel, demon. God help her, Syd belonged to him, heart and soul. She intended to do everything in her power to hold onto him.

Bring it on. She’d fight to the death before she’d let them take him away again.

Syd opened her eyes at dusk. Her hands reached for Lucas before she was even fully awake, but his side of the bed was empty. She rested her palm there for a moment. The sheets were still warm.

It was
déjà vu
all over again.

The thought made her laugh. What a redundant redundancy.
Déjà vu was
all over again.

Her stomach rumbling, she sniffed the air. Lucas was cooking. Smelled like grilled cheese sandwiches, sliced tomatoes, and maybe some melon. She couldn’t remember what she had in the fridge. It was nothing special, but a simple grilled cheese made by Lucas meant the world.

She slid out of bed and pulled on her clothes, ran a quick brush through her tangled curls. She hoped to god she wouldn’t find Lucas suffering from buyer’s remorse.

“Hi.” He looked up from the fry pan.

When she saw his smile her heart melted. “Hi.”

Syd felt the blood rush to her cheeks. After the way they’d spent the afternoon it was a little late to be embarrassed.

“We need to eat something before we check the cows. Hope you like grilled cheese.”

“I love grilled cheese.” She grabbed plates and set them on the table. “So you don’t mind if I ride out with you to check on the cows?” She shot a quick glance out the window. The skies had cleared.

“They’re your cows.” Lucas grinned at her. “Besides, I figured we’d take the truck. I’m waiting on five heifers and I moved them all into the south pasture so I can keep an eye on them.”

Syd sat down as Lucas cut her sandwich in half and slid it onto her plate. “I’m impressed. You’ve learned your way round the ranch fast.”

He sat down across from her. “Well…” Lucas rubbed his jaw. “There wasn’t much else to do.”

Syd didn’t know how to respond.

“Until now,” he added. He lifted his sandwich. “Not having second thoughts, are you?”

Feeling awfully self-conscious, Syd shook her head. Instead of meeting his eyes, she pretended to concentrate on her food.

“Why don’t you tell me about him?”

Her head flew up. “What?”

“Wolf. Tell me about him.”

Syd felt a tremor in her hand. She hurried to set her sandwich down before she dropped it. “What do you…? What do you want to know?”

Lucas shrugged. “Who was he?”

“I don’t know, exactly.” She kept her eyes on his mouth, watched him chew and swallow.

“That’s not
exactly
the answer I was looking for,” he said.

Be brave, Syd
. She looked him in the eye. “It’s about the best answer I can give you.” She decided to lay her cards out on the table. “I think the better question is, what was he?”

Lucas snorted. “Like he was what, a werewolf or something? A ghost, maybe?”

“No.” She shook her head. “I don’t know what Wolf was any more than I knew who he was. The truth is, I don’t know much.”

“But he looks like me, huh?”

Syd wanted to say,
he smells like you, he tastes like you, he laughs like you, he fucks like you, he is you, you stubborn cowboy
, but she kept her mouth shut.

“That’s it? You can’t tell me anything else about him?”

She touched her tongue to the tip of her teeth. “Whatever I might say about Wolf will sound crazy, so I guess I’d rather not talk about him.”

“Aren’t you gonna eat?”

Syd looked down at her plate. She was afraid her hands would start shaking again. “I will.”

Lucas reached across the table and took her chin in his hand. “I upset you, didn’t I?”

Syd found herself fighting back tears. She pushed his hand away and shook her head. “No, it’s not that. I don’t understand much about what happened or why it happened, but I know one thing to be true.”

“What’s that?”

“Wolf came back.” She deliberately met Lucas’s eyes. “And he’s sitting across the table from me right now.”

The room was utterly silent for a few heartbeats. Then Lucas rose from his chair, grabbed his hat, and left the house without another word.

She heard the door to the truck slam and the engine start. Syd started after him, but stopped. It was no use. Even if she could catch him what good would it do? There wasn’t any way to take the words back. There was no explanation in the world that wouldn’t make her sound like a freak.

She watched the truck disappear around the bend. At least he wasn’t headed away from the ranch. He was going to check on the heifers.

Syd felt that tiny flutter again. For her baby’s sake she forced herself to finish the sandwich and eat some fruit, washing it all down with a large glass of milk.

Well, two can play at this game
.

Syd pulled on her boots and grabbed a jacket. The south pasture wasn’t far, through two gates and over the hill. The walk would do her good, help her clear her head. She’d blown it again. Maybe before she reached Lucas she could come up with a way to convince him to stay, at least until the baby was born.

Stay

ucas stopped at the fence, letting the engine idle. He shouldn’t have asked. Or maybe he’d asked for it. But he had to know, because no matter how hard he tried to pretend otherwise the truth was he remembered her. Remembered lying in her arms, remembered the luscious scent of her silky skin, her sweet taste, even the noises she made when she was coming. Noises that made him hard as a rock right now and he wasn’t anywhere near her.

He didn’t want to remember anything about Syd because if he remembered her that meant she might be telling the truth. And her truth was impossible. He couldn’t live two lives at the same time. Could he?

Then how the fuck had he memorized her body? How did he know exactly what she wanted him to do in bed, the way she liked to be touched? It was as if his hands had moved of their own accord, without any awareness on his part, like muscle memory or something.

Apparently his body remembered every detail of making love to her no matter how small, even if his mind didn’t.

Lucas threw the truck in park and climbed out to open the first gate. When he turned around, he spotted a slender figure walking up the road.

“She can’t leave well enough alone, can she?”

He thought about driving back to pick her up, but instead he decided to close the gate and meet her on foot.

The two faced off in the middle of the dirt road. Lucas studied her. Despite her somber expression the last rays of the dying sun made her glow. It seemed as if she wore a halo around her head.

He couldn’t resist, he pictured her in bed, naked, on top of him, fucking his brains out. Lucas tried to push the image away. He failed. “What are you doing here?”

She looked down, kicked at a pebble with the toe of her boot. “My ranch,” she mumbled. “I have a right to check on my heifers.”

Lucas stuck his hands in the pocket of his jeans and kicked at his own rock. “So you do.”

“Well?”

“Well what?”

“Are you gonna let me ride in your truck or not?”

He looked into her eyes. “You don’t plan to let this go, do you?”

Syd held his gaze. “You started it.”

“All right, we can check the cattle together.”

They walked to the truck in silence. Syd opened the gate and held it for him, closed it, latched it, and climbed into the truck.

“I know what you can do,” she said.

Lucas glanced at her profile. She kept her eyes on the cows, her face impassive.

“What can I do?”

She said, “Ask Cass to take your fingerprints.”

“Now why the hell would I do that?”

She waited a heartbeat before she responded. “Because he already has a set. He has a set of Wolf’s.”

Lucas slammed on the brakes, throwing his arm across her chest at the last minute to keep her from flying forward into the dashboard.

Jesus. What was he thinking? “Shit. Sorry. I didn’t mean…”

“Yes you did.” Syd straightened up in the seat. “It’s just a suggestion. You don’t have to do anything.” Before he could come up with a reply, she said, “Looks like six-fifty dropped her calf. So did seven twenty-one. Three more to go.” She turned toward him. “You want to drive closer so I can get a look, or do you want me to take the wheel?”

Lucas swallowed his reply. He didn’t want to say something he couldn’t take back. Not to Syd. “I got it.”

He circled around to the right, giving the new mothers a wide berth.

“Do you have a pair of binoculars in here?” Syd opened the glove compartment.

“No, not in there, back…”

She interrupted him. “What’s this?”

Lucas glanced her way. She held something in the palm of her hand. “What?”

“This. Where did you get it?”

He stopped the truck and reached behind the seat for the binoculars. “It’s nothing. Here are the binoculars.”

Syd ignored his outstretched hand. “What do you mean, it’s nothing? Where did you get this?”