Stepbrother Bastard (10 page)

“
Shit
though,
”
I go on,
“
I
landed me one sweet piece of ass last night. If I wasn
’
t
a total idiot, I would have bought that boy breakfast in the morning
…
Maybe let him know that
he was right about me wanting more than one night.
”

“
Is
that so?
”
Cash replies, his voice
low and rasping.

“
It
is,
”
I tell him, my act
evaporating at once.

“
Well,
”
he goes on, that crooked
smile widening ever-so-slightly.
“
That
’
s
good to know.
”

I
hold my breath as he takes a step toward me, flicking his cigarette into the
lake. He closes the space between us, catching my chin in his hand. We
’
re
hidden from sight by the gathering twilight, and I feel my knees start go weak
with anticipation.

“
You
realize, though
…”
he growls, as I let my hands fall on his
water-slicked chest,
“
That if anything else
happens between us, you still won
’
t
have had a one night stand?
”

“
I
think I can live with that,
”
I whisper, tilting my face toward his.

His
hands slide down my back, tugging me hard against his body. Every inch of me
that
’
s
pressed to him is screaming with delight, both present and remembered.

“
Well
…
We
’
ll
just have to see what happens, then,
”
he murmurs, sliding his
hands down over the rise of my ass. His lips brush against my neck, sending a
shudder down my spine
—

“
Maddie!
Cash!
”
I hear Sophie call from
the deck, her voice high and strangled,
“
Come
on already! It
’
s time to eat.
”

I
take a stumbling leap away from Cash as he looks on in amusement.

“
Coming!
”
I cry out, scrambling up
the dock.

“
Already?
”
Cash teases,
“
I
barely even touched you.
”

I
let myself laugh at his crude joke, glad that there might be hope for our
relationship yet
—
whatever the hell that
relationship may be.

“
You
have to admit,
”
he
goes on, throwing a brotherly arm over my shoulders as we trudge toward the house,
“
This
whole thing is pretty fucking hilarious.
”

“
Oh
yeah,
”
I drawl, rolling my eyes,
“
It
’
s
a real laugh riot.
”

Chapter Five

As
all eight Porters and Hawthornes settle down around the dinner table, I don
’
t
think anyone is oblivious to how bizarre our little gathering is. Anyone, that
is, besides my mother
—
who serves out generous
helpings to everyone with a contented smile on her face. Robin Porter is the
epitome of adaptable. I swear, she could get comfy in a nudist colony, cultish
commune, or post-apocalyptic hellscape if she had to. She
’
s
a woman who knows how to go with the flow, even if everyone around her is
flailing in the current.

“
So
nice to have everyone here at last,
”
she beams around the
table.
“
Have
all you kids gotten to know each other by now?
”

“
More
or less,
”
Cash grins, letting his
knee brush against mine under the table. I swallow hard, trying to ignore the
jolt of sensation that even this little contact sends through me. Cash and I
have gotten to know each other, all right. At least in the biblical sense. What
would the rest of this bizarro Brady Bunch think, if they knew the truth about
us?

“
Glad
you kids are all acquainted,
”
John grumbles, digging into his heaping
plateful of meat and potatoes.

“
Your
dad is a man of few words,
”
Robin laughs, looking fondly over at John,
“
Are
all you boys the strong and silent types as well?
”

I
remember the way Cash picked me up in his arms as if it were nothing, last
night. Flipping me over, taking me from behind
—

“
I
don
’
t
know if I
’
d put it that way,
”
Luke chuckles,
“
We
all have more than our fair share of differences.
”

“
Sounds
like my girls, too,
”
Robin nods,
“
Annabel
takes after me, with her photography and all. Maddie
’
s
our little working girl over in Seattle. And Sophia
’
s
studying drama and dance at Sheridan University.
”

“
Yeah,
I know,
”
Luke replies, as Sophie
promptly chokes on her third glass of wine. Or is it her fourth? I
’
ve
lost count.

“
You
know what, dear?
”
Mom asks Luke.

“
Luke
here is a Sheridan boy too,
”
John says proudly,
“
Finished
undergrad just last year, and he
’
s
already back there now for his business degree. They can
’
t
get rid of him!
”

“
Yep.
Luke
’
s
our college boy,
”
Cash says, none-too-sweetly.
“
The
only
college boy among the Hawthornes, actually.
”

“
I
would have been more than happy to send you to college too,
”
John says gruffly,
shooting Cash a look,
“
You know that full well.
”

“
If
I hadn
’
t
been wasting my time fighting a war and all?
”
Cash shoots back.

“
You
’
re
in the military?
”
Anna asks, speaking up from her place next
to Finn.

“
He
was
,
”
Finn
replies, ripping a dinner roll in two.

A
long, heavy moment of silence swells up, enclosing us all. All four of the
Hawthorne men retreat into themselves, leaving us Porter women at a loss. Since
no one else is going to, I try my best to dispel the awkwardness.

“
So,
you and Sophie are at the same school?
”
I say to Luke.
“
I
’
m
sure undergrads and graduate students don
’
t
see much of each other, though.
”

“
Oh,
I think Sophie and I have seen each other around school once or twice,
”
Luke says casually,
helping me steer the conversation back toward civility.

That
explains why Sophie has been acting so strangely around Luke. Running into a
schoolmate in such tight quarters would be pretty awkward. I feel her pain,
though I think Cash and I still have the record for strangest origin story so
far.

“
Sophie,
you didn
’
t
tell me you knew Luke!
”
Mom gushes.

“
Well,
I didn
’
t
exactly know we were family friends. Or that I
’
d
be seeing him
—
them
—
here,
did I
”
Sophie replies shortly,
face halfway hidden behind her glass.
“
Besides,
I don't know him. We just go to the same school. With thousands of other
people. It
’
s not the same thing.
”

“
I
guess Sheridan is a much bigger school than the one me and John met in,
”
Mom laughs, clueless
about Sophie
’
s discomfort.
“
Little
Flathead County High was not exactly a hopping place. What did we have, a
hundred kids per class?
”

“
We
still had our fun though, didn
’
t we?
”
John smiles broadly at
Mom.

“
We
sure did,
”
Mom
giggles suggestively.

The
six of us adult children trade uncomfortable glances across the table. We
’
ve
been skirting the subject of our parents
’
relationship, but our
questions can
’
t be put off any longer.

“
So,
what, you two dated in high school or something?
”
Anna asks.

“
Or
something
…”
John
replies vaguely.

“
Actually,
”
Mom goes on
conspiratorially,
“
John and I were engaged.
”

Six
heads whip around the face the eldest Porter and Hawthorne.

“
Well,
that
’
s
a conversation we haven
’
t had,
”
I say tersely.

“
You
were engaged?
”
Sophie
exclaims, jaw hanging open,
“
What
…
When?!
”

“
All
through senior year of high school,
”
Mom says, somewhat
wistfully.

“
But
I couldn
’
t
keep this one pinned down in Podunk, Montana,
”
John puts in, with a
lingering edge to his voice.

“
My
scholarship to art school came through, and I couldn
’
t
pass it up,
”
Mom
sighs,
“
Besides,
we were so young
…”

“
Isn
’
t
art school where you met Dad?
”
Anna asks pointedly.

“
It
is,
”
Mom replies, her benign
smile faltering for the first time as Dad is invoked.

“
So
if that scholarship hadn
’
t come through, you would
have stayed here and married John
…”
Anna drives on, her
imagination reeling. The rest of us return hastily to our plates of food,
feeling none-too-comfortable about this line of questioning.

“
That
was the plan,
”
John
says with a tight smile.

“
So
if you think about it,
”
Anna continues, looking back at forth
between John and our mother,
“
John is sort of, like,
our almost-dad.
”

I
nearly spit out my mouthful of wine at Anna
’
s
assessment. God, when you put it like that, my dalliance with Cash suddenly
sounds
way
weirder than it has any reason to. If our parents were
engaged once, then what does that make us to each other? And why do I suddenly
have the incredible urge to crawl under the kitchen table and never emerge?

I
’
m
certainly not the only sibling at the table looking a little squeamish at this
little revelation. Sophie is staring intently into her wine glass as Luke
shovels food very deliberately into his mouth. Even Cash
’
s
face has gone a bit stony
—
maybe with trying to
figure out what this twist means for the two of us.

“
Almost-dad,
”
Mom giggles airily,
“
What
a thing to say, Anna! You
’
ve always been the
inventive one.
”

“
She
’
s
got a point though,
”
John shrugs,
“
There
’
s
no way of knowing what might have been, if only
…”

“
No
real need to wonder about what might have been though, is there?
”
I snap, surprising even
myself with my heated tone,
“
Seeing as we had a dad,
and all. A great dad.
”

“
Maddie,
”
Sophie murmurs, trying to
staunch my verbal torrent.

“
Had
a dad?
”
Finn asks from across the
table.

“
Yeah.
Had. He died,
”
I
say shortly,
“
But I guess someone forgot to relay
that information, too.
”

A
tense silence comes down hard over the table, and I feel Cash
’
s
hazel eyes swing my way. There
’
s a tinge of something
like pity in his gaze, and that does me in. All at once, the situation becomes
too much for me to handle. Between the revelations about my mom and John
Hawthorne
’
s past, my grief at seeing Mom with
another man at all, and the intensely confusing feelings I
’
m
having for Cash, I feel like the whole world as I know it is falling away
beneath me.

“
Excuse
me,
”
I mutter, pushing back my
chair and rising shakily to my feet.
“
I
just
…
I
don
’
t
seem to have much of an appetite.
”

I
turn and hurry away before anyone can see the tears welling up in my eyes. No
one says a word to stop me as I dash through the house and out the front door,
dewy grass clinging to my ankles as I beat a fast retreat to my car. I plant my
hands on the driver
’
s side door, steadying
myself against the heaving sobs that threaten to overtake me.

My
suitcase is still wedged in the back seat. I could take off now and leave this
all behind me, go back to the life I
’
ve
carved out for myself in Seattle. It may be hectic, thankless, and more than a
bit lonely, but at least that life is entirely in my control. If nothing else,
I know that my heart will be safe there.

But
here among the Hawthorne men? I
’
m not so sure.

Before
my will deserts me, I grab the handle of the car door. But before I can yank it
open, a firm, decisive hand lands above mine, keeping the door sealed shut.