Stepbrother Bastard (13 page)

“
It's
just
…
That
’
s
not what I was imagining
…”
I reply, shaking my head,
“
About
how you guys met, I mean.
”

“
What
exactly
were
you imagining?
”
he asks, a slow grin
creeping across his face.

“
I
’
m
sure you can guess,
”
I say, smiling back.

“
Not
too hard to,
”
he
laughs, rolling his eyes,
“
But you
’
re
way off. Sophie was in the econ class I was assisting last semester.

“
Then
why haven
’
t you mentioned that to anyone here?
”
I ask him.
“
Sounds
to me like you
’
re hiding something
…”

“
I
’
m
not hiding anything,
”
he shrugs,
“
TAs
only have a couple one-on-one meetings with their students during the semester.
I just graded a couple of her papers. That
’
s
it.
”

“
You
sure that
’
s not a euphemism for something?
”
I tease him.

“
Christ.
Someone
’
s
got a one-track mind,
”
he replies, nudging me with his foot.

“
You
didn
’
t
answer the question,
”
I remind him, enjoying the camaraderie
despite myself.

“
You
Porter women are relentless, aren
’
t
you?
”
he says,
“
I
don
’
t
know which one of you is the most stubborn.
”

“
It
’
s
a four way tie,
”
I say lightly.

“
Sounds
familiar,
”
he
replies.

A
silence unfolds between us, the jocular mood fading away as we hear the pickup
truck start with a wheeze and take off down the driveway. It
’
s
ridiculous to be jealous of Sophie for getting some alone time with Cash; ridiculous
to be suspicious of his motives for taking her on a little joy ride
…
yet
here I am, all jealousy and suspicion. What a charming combination.

“
I
’
m
gonna take this thing out,
”
Luke says tersely, walking over to the
single-seat kayak and lowering himself in.
“
Enjoy
the peace and quiet.
”

“
Thanks,
”
I say wistfully, drawing
my knees into my chest.

Luke
grabs the paddle and pushes himself away from the dock. He chops at the water
with strong, determined strokes, and soon he
’
s
disappeared from sight around an outcropping of trees. For perhaps the first
time since arriving here at the lake house, I
’
m
all alone.

I
should be used to the feeling by now, having spent much of these past few years
by myself in tiny apartments, tiny cubicles, the private world of my own grief
that opened wide within my tiny self after Dad died. But, surrounded by all
this huge open space, my own loneliness is amplified tenfold. Sitting beside
the expansive waters of the lake, underneath the arching sky, among ancient
rocks and trees…I feel smaller than ever. More alone than ever. But even so, I
realize there
’
s only one person who could fill the
massive void of my lonesomeness. And my little sister is currently riding
shotgun in his truck.

Perfect.
Just
perfect
.

Chapter Seven

I
retire to my bedroom absurdly early that night, claiming to have a headache.
What
’
s
truly aching is that bruised, beating muscle in my chest, but no one else needs
to know that. This little vacation is almost halfway over, so why do I feel
more tense and exhausted than when I arrived? I lay wide awake in my guest room
as the hours slip by, and before I know it the night is nearly over, without my
having slept a wink. What I wouldn
’
t
give for a little stress relief of the kind Cash and I enjoyed that first night
at the motel
…

Despite
his avowed pledge to
“
make my stay worthwhile
”
,
I
’
ve
barely seen hide or hair of Cash since that first night we spent here. And
trust me, I
’
d like to see all of that hide if I
could get another chance. He said himself that he doesn
’
t
give a shit about what our parents
’
relationship is, so what
the hell gives? Did he just lose interest in me overnight? I decide to consult
the expert on all matters concerning my love life. In other words, I give Allie
a call.

“
MaddieMaddieMaddie!
”
she squeals upon picking
up.

“
What
’
re
you, happy to hear from me or something?
”
I ask, flopping down onto
the guest room
’
s twin bed.

“
Just
a little,
”
she
replies.

“
I
hope I didn
’
t call too late,
”
I go on, glancing at the
digital clock pulsing 3:00am in big red digits.
“
I
was really just going to leave you a message
…”

“
It
’
s
never too late for my best friend,
”
she says cheerfully. I
hear a far less perky, very distinctly male voice grumble in the background,
despite Allie
’
s shushing.

“
Got
a visitor?
”
I
ask.

“
Something
like that,
”
she
replies.
“
Brian. Or
…
Ryan?
I don
’
t
remember. He just went to get a glass of water, so I can
’
t
even fact check
…”

“
God,
I
’
ve
missed you,
”
I
laugh.

“
What,
haven
’
t
you had a slew of hookups since you broke the seal a couple nights back?
”
she asks mischievously.
“
I
still can
’
t believe my little Maddie is all
grown up and screwing random hotties in motels
…”

“
Just
the one hottie,
”
I reminder her, rolling onto my side,
“
And,
uh
…
Not
so random either, it turns out.
”

“
Excuse
me. What does
that
mean?
”
Allie demands.

I
bite my lip
—
an impressive feat, given how far my
foot is jammed into my mouth. I
’
m torn between wanting to
tell Allie everything about Cash and wanting to give her as few details as
possible. She was more than supportive of my sexy one night stand, but what if
she
’
s
weirded out by what
’
s come after? It doesn
’
t
bother me that John Hawthorne and my mom are
…
whatever
they are to each other, but I can
’
t
count on anyone else feeling the same way, even if that someone is Allie. I may
just have to get a little
…
creative with the
details.

“
You
’
ll
never believe it,
”
I laugh dryly,
“
But
the guy I slept with that first night? The one I sent you a picture of? He
’
s
…
uh
…
a
local
.
”

“
Get
out,
”
Allie breathes. I can
practically hear her big green eyes widening into dinner plates.
“
He
lives in that middle-of-nowhere town you
’
re
staying with your family?
”

“
He
does, yeah,
”
I
tell her
—
not
exactly a lie.
“
I
’
ve
even bumped into him a few times,
”
also, more true than not.

“
Has
anything else happened with him?
”
Allie asks breathlessly.

“
There
was another kiss,
”
I allow, my entire body recalling how it
feels to lock lips with Cash Hawthorne,
“
But
nothing else so far.
”

“
What
the hell are you waiting for?
”
Allie laughs,
“
Go
jump those country boy bones while you still can!
”

“
What
about our little bet?
”
I challenge her,
“
It
won
’
t
really have been a one night stand if I sleep with him again, right?
”

“
Do
you honestly think I give a single shit about that stupid bet when the best sex
of your life in on the line?!
”
Allie all but screeches.
“
What
kind of a shitty friend do you think I am?
”

“
So
I take it I have your blessing, then?
”
I laugh.

“
You
have
all
of my blessings. Every last one,
”
she tells me,
“
Who
knows? Maybe this one night stand of yours could turn into your first
relationship with a guy that actually turns you on. At all.
”

“
What
a novel idea,
”
I
say sarcastically. But her suggestion sticks in my heart. I
’
ve
hardly dared to let myself think the word
relationship
since meeting
Cash Hawthorne. It doesn
’
t even seem to exist in
the same universe as him. That
’
s the main reason I didn
’
t
insist on the two of us just leaving this place together and carrying out our
little affair somewhere else. If we were to continue things outside of this
place, we
’
d be risking rushing into some kind
of relationship. And knowing me, I
’
d
mess it up immediately. As long as we stay here, united by coincidence, there
’
s
far less pressure. Cash hardly seems like a relationship sort of guy. But if I
’
ve
learned one thing this week, it
’
s that anything is
possible
…
why
not Cash and I as a pair?

If
he hasn
’
t
already staked his claim on another Porter sister, that is.

A
soft, rhythmic tapping catches my ear as Allie mutters something to
Brian-or-Ryan. This big rustic house has a vocabulary of taps, clangs, and
stirrings all its own. I
’
ve been told to ignore
them, but as this new tapping reasserts itself, I sit up in my modest twin bed.
My heart starts hammering in my ears, much more loudly than the noise that
’
s
set it off.

Someone
’
s
knocking at my bedroom door.

“
Allie,
hold on,
”
I whisper into the receiver,
swinging my legs over the side of my bed.

“
What
’
s
happening?
”
I
hear my best friend say as I make my way across the room.

With
my heart lodged firmly in my throat, I twist the handle and pull the door open
an inch. The warm light from my bedside lamp falls through the narrow opening,
illuminating a vibrant set of very familiar hazel eyes.

“
Maddie,
are you OK?
”
Allie
’
s
tinny voice asks as I stare up at my early-morning visitor.

“
I
have to call you back,
”
I mutter faintly into the phone, hanging up
abruptly as Cash pushes the door open to reveal himself.

“
Fancy
meeting you here,
”
Cash grins his voice hushed. He leans
against the doorway and letting his eyes travel up and down my scantly-clad
body. I
’
m
suddenly very aware of how tiny my cotton shorts and tank top really are, and
cross my arms compulsively over my chest.

“
What
do you want, Cash?
”
I whisper, though my every nerve rallies
at the sight of him.

“
What
’
s
with the attitude?
”
he asks, cocking his head. A single curl
falls across his forehead, and I have to force myself to keep taking deep
breaths.

“
It
’
s
three in the morning,
”
I inform him,
“
Normal
people are asleep at this hour.
”

“
And
yet, here we are,
”
he smiles, taking a step toward me.

Apprehension
and anticipation war for control of my body. This is the first time Cash and I
have been alone since our sultry kiss the other night. But we
’
re
also surrounded by several sleeping family members who could discover us at any
minute. I may have only spent one night with Cash, but I know that I can
’
t
keep quiet once his hands are on me.

“
You
shouldn
’
t
be here,
”
I tell him.
“
It
’
s
not
…
You
know
…”

“
What?
”
he asks, laying his hands
on my bare arms,
“
Proper
?
”

“
Fuck
proper,
”
I snap,
“
It
’
s
just not cool of you, Cash. You
’
ve been straight up
ignoring me ever since the first night we got here. You can
’
t
just stroll on into my room and expect a booty call after
—”

“
Whoa,
whoa,
”
Cash says, holding me
fast,
“
Slow
down, Maddie. What do you mean I
’
ve
been ignoring you?
”

I
stare at him, unspeaking. Cash Hawthorne may be handsome as hell, but he is
mighty slow on the uptake.

“
You
’
ve
barely said a word to me in the past few days,
”
I spell it out for him,
“
You
keep avoiding being alone with me, or even being in the same room with me. And
this afternoon, you just ran off with Sophie
—”

“
Well
yeah,
”
he says, still not seeing
the problem.

“
Well
yeah
,
”
I
echo, trying to ignore the warmth of his hands against my skin.

“
Maddie,
I
’
ve
been making sure to throw the rest of them off our trail,
”
he tells me, as if
I
’
m
the crazy one.