Still Waving (18 page)

‘I'm not angry,' Aunt Jean said, banging her glass down.

Toby and I looked at each other apprehensively. Was Aunt Jean going to turn into a monster if she
didn't get her own way?

‘Let's all cool down here,' Uncle Wayne said. ‘I think it would be fair to say we're all a bit upset.'

‘Maybe you're right, Julie. I am a bit angry. I think I'm more confused than the rest of you about whether Adrian is mad or clever. I'm sorry. I just wonder Wayne if you'd know the difference.'

‘I know, Jean. It's just that he is a drooling idiot. Maybe it's the medication he's on, I don't know. All I know is that he's locked up in a very small room and is restrained most of the time.'

‘Good heavens.' Aunt Jean sounded surprised.

‘They're afraid he'll kill himself. I think they're doping him up to the eyeballs so he's no trouble or a death in custody. He's not the brother I knew. I know it's been nearly twenty years since I last saw him, but he's a shell of the man I remember. He's completely broken.'

‘Do you think he'll kill himself?' Toby asked.

‘I don't know mate. I don't know. He couldn't put a sentence together. He just kept on going on about what a dry throat he had. All he wanted was water.'

‘What's going to happen to him?' I wondered out loud.

‘They're moving him to a hospital prison next week. I'm not sure if they're going to let him mix with other prisoners or not. They have to stabilise his
drug dosage so he doesn't harm himself. The man I saw wouldn't be able to hurt a fly. I took him for a little walk and he shuffled along like an old man.'

‘Oh, Wayne, it must have been awful,' Aunt Jean said. The stern look had gone and I could see in her face she felt Uncle Wayne's pain.

The pain family, I thought.

I suddenly remembered Ruby.

‘What's the time?' I jumped up.

‘Ten to ten.'

‘Ruby. I better get down there.'

I ran off taking two steps at a time. The flat door was unlocked. It was safe because we knew the elderly couple, the Jobys, who lived on the second floor. The first floor was the Simpsons and they were hardly ever there. Half the year they lived in Hong Kong. Anyone coming into the building had to be buzzed in by the residents. We had deadlocks on our doors but we only used them when everyone was out of the building.

I played the saved messages from Kate, Phoebe and Ruby. I'd ring the others in the morning. I sat patiently with the phone next to me. The curtains were open and I could see the lights of a ship out to sea. It seemed to be stationary, but I knew it was a night time illusion. The phone rang and I picked it up so quickly I almost dropped it.

‘Hello.'

‘Hi. I rang earlier.'

‘Ruby, sorry, I was on the roof. I'll ring you back. Have you got much time?'

‘The rest of the mob's at the waterhole.'

We hung up and I immediately dialled her number.

‘It's me. Have you been swimming?'

‘Is the Pope catholic? It's so bloody hot it's the only thing that keeps you from going totally spare.'

‘I had this terrible spin-out the other day and I haven't been able to go surfing.'

‘What happened?'

‘I don't know. They think it was maybe meningitis.'

‘Bad news, Jules. That can kill you.'

‘It was a freaky experience, spinning out like that.'

‘How are you now?'

‘I have to have a CAT scan tomorrow.'

‘Is that to see if you're a cat?'

‘Don't be stupid,' I laughed. ‘What's happening up your way?'

‘The usual. Hope you're okay, Jules. I know you're already a bit brain damaged but …'

‘Shut up. Look who's talking.'

Ruby laughed. ‘I've got some pretty good news to tell you.'

‘What?'

‘Put a thousand in my bank account and I'll tell you.'

‘Get real. I haven't got a thousand bucks.'

‘You can give it to me when you're rich and famous.'

‘Don't be an idiot.'

‘You won't believe this. I'm coming to live in Sydney.'

I shrieked with delight. ‘You're not. Are you serious?'

‘You bet I am. Mum has enrolled me in Tranby.'

‘I didn't know you were even thinking of going to Tranby.'

‘It's only happened in the last week. I think Mum thinks there's less chance of me getting into trouble. God knows why. I reckon there'll be more hotties down there to keep my eyes busy.'

‘I'm so happy. That's the best news I've had.'

‘I'm going to live with Auntie Ruth.'

I was trying to take it in.

‘Ruby that's so good. I can't wait. When are you coming down?'

‘Next Thursday. That auntie I told you about died, so Mum will be home soon.'

I squealed again.

‘Stop your shrieking, sis, it's deafening me.'

‘I'm sorry about your aunt, but I'm so happy Ruby that you're coming to Sydney to live.' An idea popped into my head. Should I say it? I couldn't stop myself,
I was so excited.

‘You could live here Ruby. Toby's going back to live on the farm with Uncle Wayne.'

It was Ruby's turn to shriek. I had to move the phone back from my ear.

‘That would be deadly, Jules. Can you imagine the fun we'd have? One problem though, a very big problem. I know Mum won't let me live with you fellas.'

‘Why not?'

‘Mum wouldn't want me living with white people. No offence. It's sensitive, you know. Mum's not real fussed on a lot of white ways. She reckons they're greedy and untrustworthy and that they only think of themselves, not for the tribe.'

‘Aunt Jean's not like that. Is it worth asking?'

‘Dunno. It is a bit crowded at Auntie Ruth's.'

‘You could have your own room here.'

‘I dunno Jules. I don't want Mum to think I don't think Auntie Ruth's good enough. That I've become an uppity black before I even step foot in Sydney.'

‘What if Aunt Jean asked her?'

‘That would be a shame job if I hadn't talked to Mum first. Mum would be wild if she thought I planned something without talking to her. If it's going to happen, Mum will ring your aunt. That's our way. Mum would have already made a decision
before she'd bring the subject up and if it wasn't going to happen you'd never hear of it again.'

‘It's hard isn't it? How do you do the right thing when you don't know what it is?'

‘You're not wrong. To tell the truth, I'd rather live with you by the sea than at Auntie Ruth's. I know what would happen. No space to study or anything. I'd have to help lots with all the kids and stuff. Everyone would expect me to do well at school. It's a horror movie waiting to happen. I'd rather live with you and visit my relatives.'

‘I don't want you to fight with your mum.'

I remembered fighting with my mum. It was always so horrible. I suppose I was lucky in that I wouldn't have those fights anymore. I almost felt bad thinking like that.

‘I couldn't believe it when Mum asked me if I wanted to go to college. If I had a heart, I'd have had a heart attack.'

‘Oh Ruby, you've got a heart. In fact it's too big for your body.'

‘What are you saying girl?'

‘I don't know. I've got something to tell you.'

‘Give.'

‘Put ten thousand in my account.'

‘In your dreams, I'm saving up for a condo.'

‘You are an uppity black.'

‘Careful.'

I stopped. Had I stepped over an invisible cultural line?

‘Sorry.'

‘Tell me.'

‘You know the letter Dad wrote to Toby and me when he was in hospital.'

‘Yeah, I remember. The bastard, he should've died.'

I took a deep breath. ‘Toby and I read it today.'

‘Hell Jules, that was brave. What'd the bloody nong say?'

‘He's completely crazy, totally off this planet.'

‘You're gammin.'

‘No. I'm serious. The letter was crazy.'

‘Yeah well I suppose he must have been crazy, you know, must have been. Mum reckons he's troppo.'

‘Aunt Jean isn't completely convinced and wonders if he's manipulatingeveryone into thinking he's mad.'

‘What do you mean?'

‘You know acting crazy.'

‘What do you think?'

‘I'm so confused. The letter made me think he was a total loop. Uncle Wayne went to see him and he reckons he's mad as a cut snake, as they say.'

‘Nothing madder than a cut snake,' Ruby said solemnly. ‘Nothing on this earth.'

‘Well he reckons he's bonkers beyond belief.'

‘He'd know you'd reckon, being his brother and all.'

‘I know, but there's this little doubt in my mind.'

‘What doubt?'

‘Well it's like how Dad would get angry about nothing, and lose control, throwing things, swearing, calling Mum and us stupid, you know, all that stuff.'

‘I never met him, but I know what you're saying.'

‘Yet if anyone came to the door, like someone working on the farm or something, he'd become completely normal, just like that.' I snapped my fingers. ‘More than normal in fact. Dad would be charming, crack jokes that sort of thing. We'd all be sitting terrified, knowing the gun was crooked behind the door. Dad would laugh and carry on as if there was nothing wrong. I've wondered why none of us got up and ran away, while Dad was distracted. We sat there like stunned mullets.'

‘Frozen with fear, girl. That's why none of you made a run for it.'

‘You're right, Ruby. It was fear.

‘Doesn't sound right though, what you were saying about your Dad losing control and then being nice as pie with strangers, instantly.'

I heard the snap of Ruby's fingers.

‘I'm so confused.'

Do you want my opinion?'

‘Please.'

‘Look what he did. Even if he's acting crazy, he's still crazy. No one in their right mind would do what he did. I guess that's the point, what's a right mind? When you talk about your dad, you know the fact he had to control his family with a gun, shows he's crazy. Mad. He was already crazy before he did what he did, and he's crazy now. When wasn't he crazy in your life?'

I listened intently to Ruby's words. I knew what she was saying. It resounded with my own thoughts.

‘I guess you're right Ruby. It makes me so sad. I don't know if I love him or hate him.'

‘Don't try and figure an answer. Don't worry girl, the truth of how you feel will come to you. It could happen next month, next year, ten years, twenty years …'

‘I'll probably forget the question by the time I get the answer,' I laughed. ‘I just want to be happy like normal people.'

‘What ad did you see normal people on? Who's bloody happy? Even the bloody rich are miserable a lot of the time.'

‘You know what I mean.'

‘You are happy!'

‘I don't feel very happy.'

‘Of course you don't now, you're talking downer
stuff. Mum says happiness isn't a forever or always thing. It comes and goes. You can't expect it all the time. It comes in moments. But if you feel good about yourself, inside you're happy.'

‘I seem unhappy more often than happy.'

‘Do you want me to play the violin or what? Of course what happened to you and Toby is tragic. Jules, look at what you've got now.'

I held my breath.

‘When you're on your surfboard? Happy. That's your share for the day, mate. Don't get greedy,' Ruby mocked.

I laughed. ‘God you're funny.'

‘You remembered.'

‘Remembered what?'

‘To call me god.'

‘You'll be struck by lightning by the real god's wrath.'

‘Real god's wrath. Wow. You joined a bible group or something?'

‘I've got no idea where that came from. It must have been god talking to me.'

‘Now don't go freaking me out with some religion thing, Jules. I'd have to disown you. I can't be friends with no fundamental freak. It's against my religion. Cultural, you know, hush hush secret Ruby business.'

‘I'll think of you at my next bible class.'

‘Too kind, sister.'

‘Ruby, what information have you gathered on Uncle Wayne?'

‘Mum was mum, if you know what I mean. Thanks to my acute hearing abilities, I heard Mum have a red-hot go at Auntie Aloma about your Uncle Wayne.'

‘More.'

‘Mum gave Aloma heaps for losing a good man, your Uncle Wayne.'

‘I see. What did Aloma say?'

‘Shut up. Big know-it-all goody-two-shoes mouth.'

‘You're joking.'

‘No. Word for word.'

‘Sheesh, I bet your Mum was impressed.'

‘Over the moon, oh and the kitchen table to grab Aloma's throat. I mediated.'

‘Well done.'

‘It wasn't easy. No one ended up in hospital and I consider that an achievement.'

‘How are things now?'

‘Auntie Aloma's banned from the house. Her kids are welcome though.'

‘I wonder if you'll miss your family?'

‘I'll be happy to get away from them all, except for Mum, oh, and a couple of others.'

‘At least you'll be able to surf with me.'

‘Unreal. How deadly is that?'

‘We could become the black-and-white surfing sisters and enter team comps,' I waxed enthusiastically.

‘Don't bolt out the door, it's shut. I'm going to have to get used to that very big ocean again.'

‘You're a natural. It'd be amazing if you got into it.'

‘Let's just wait and see. I better go, I can hear the others coming back.'

‘Will you talk to your mum?'