S.T.I.N.K.B.O.M.B. (21 page)

‘I promise I would say if there was any chance at all that we’re on the right track,’ said Gemma softly. She reached forward and placed a reassuring hand on Archie’s
shoulder. ‘But we’re not. The woman I spoke to is called Zoe Romario. She’s French. She used to be in advertising but had to leave her job a couple of years ago when Caesar was
transferred from Monaco to Lyons. Basically she hates being stuck out in the countryside here – she kept going on about how much she missed the house and the life they used to have in
Nice.’

Glumly, Archie sat with his chin on his chest, replaying Doom’s text message over in his head. Something about the message had been niggling him all along, and as he listened to Gemma he
suddenly realised what it was. Dr Doom had referred to his ‘nice’ hideout. This struck Archie as a really lame adjective coming from an odious mastermind bragging about his imminent
world domination. Luxurious hideout – possibly, formidable – definitely, but
nice
? That just didn’t ring true.

A whoosh of adrenalin coursed through him. ‘Doom isn’t staying in a
nice
hideout,’ he yelped. ‘It’s a Nice hideout!’

‘Huh?’ asked Barney.

‘When he played for Monaco he lived in a huge mansion in the hills overlooking the Riviera. Now I remember seeing it on MTV when we met you at the safe house. He moved to Lyons two years
ago, so I guess that’s when he sold his place in Nice.’

‘That definitely ties in with the timing of Doom needing a new pad after faking his death,’ said Gemma.

‘So he bought Romario’s house in Nice,’ Barney stated.

Archie nodded as he fired up the Dragonfly’s jet engines. ‘And turned it into his “nice” hideout in Caesar’s Palace.’

‘Well, what are we waiting for?’ asked Gemma. ‘Nice – here we come.’

‘Nice,’ Finn parroted. ‘That’s nice.’

The Dragonfly tore through the sky just a few hundred feet above the rocky mountain ridge and as Archie banked hard to his left, the ground fell steeply into the deep blue
ocean far below. He carved a turn just to the east of the white crescent that was Nice’s Promenade des Anglais.

Gemma had been busy searching the Internet for information during the short flight south from Lyons. One article she’d found revealed that the footballer had sold the property through an
international agency called Lux Residence. Within minutes Gemma had hacked into its online classified property database and discovered that the house had a V-shaped floor plan, a swimming pool on
the veranda and a helipad. She had also established the coordinates of the mansion, which Archie had programmed into his navigation computer. A green star on his moving map display now represented
the location of what they suspected to be Dr Doom’s lair.

Archie pulled the nozzle lever halfway back to the hover stop and allowed the airspeed to bleed off, raising the aircraft’s nose to maintain its altitude. According to his navigation
display, Dr Doom’s hideout was three miles away, directly northward. Turning to head inland, he feverishly scanned the mountainside that was rapidly expanding in his windscreen.

Lurking among the lush undergrowth and rocky outcrops, houses of countless styles were strewn across the peninsula – from the traditional mock-Renaissance to ultra-modern glass boxes.
Archie pulled the nozzle lever back to the hover stop and the plane slowed gradually until it wasn’t moving at all.

‘I can’t see it anywhere,’ he said, grimacing with frustration. Instinctively his eyes flicked to the clock on the instrument panel, which read 12:55. Time was slipping away
fast.

It must be here somewhere,’ Gemma insisted.

‘Up there!’ Barney exclaimed, pointing through the glass canopy.

Archie followed his gaze and spotted a large V-shaped building perched just below the peak. Camouflaged against the rocky backdrop, it was difficult to make out. The point of the V seemed to be
buried in the rock while the two arms protruded over the precipice of the cliff, supported precariously by criss-crossing stilts. The square ends of the arms were completely mirrored, making them
look like a pair of giant sunglasses peering out from the hillside.

‘Now there’s an evil lair if ever I saw one!’ gasped Archie.

He put on a handful of power and nudged the stick forward, driving the plane vertically upward and forward. When the Dragonfly was directly over the rooftop he throttled back and started a slow
descent.

A black Bell Ranger helicopter was parked on the helipad. Apart from that, the roof was deserted. Archie deftly swung the Dragonfly to face out to sea before setting it down on the hard surface.
Chopping the engines, he unfastened the red latch above his head and slid the canopy back.

Archie jumped on to the roof, turning slowly on the spot to ensure he had not attracted a welcoming committee. He walked to the edge of the roof and cautiously peered down, immediately pulling
back as a sudden wave of giddiness made his vision swim.

It was like standing on the very end of a giant diving board, with nothing but air between him and the rocky terrain sixty feet below. The hillside fell almost vertically for another hundred
feet or so before easing into the slightly shallower, greener slopes peppered with exclusive mansions. Far below, the powerful waves of the Mediterranean crashed against the red sandstone
cliffs.

‘Are you OK?’ Barney asked. ‘You look a little queasy. Don’t tell me our intrepid aviator is scared of heights?’

Archie swallowed and clenched his teeth into a smile. ‘That would be ridiculous,’ he said.

Gemma and Finn joined them on the roof and they took a moment to survey the building. A set of stone steps ran down the inside of its eastern arm, leading to a large triangular veranda nestled
inside the nook of the V. Beyond the veranda was the vast pool Archie had seen Caesar Romario swimming in on MTV. Apart from the two huge squares of mirrored glass peering out to sea, the building
apparently had no doors or windows and was completely clad in textured rubber, like the surface of a children’s playground.

‘Looks like Doctor Doom has fortified the place since he moved in,’ Archie observed.

‘I don’t like it,’ said Barney, squinting across the rooftop. ‘It’s too quiet. Where are the guards?’

‘He doesn’t need the guards out here,’ Gemma suggested. ‘What harm can we do stuck out on the roof?’

‘Why are we stuck on a roof?’ asked Finn.

The four figures stood in silence considering their options. Archie knew his father was close – probably not far below his feet – but if they couldn’t find a way into the
building he might as well be on the other side of the world. He checked his watch – it was just after 1 p.m. In less than an hour Dr Doom would start conducting his evil experiment that would
spell the end for his father, the other captives and possibly the civilised world.

‘There must be a way in somewhere,’ insisted Archie weakly.

‘Only by opening the trapdoor.’

He spun round and looked at Finn.

‘What trapdoor?’ he asked.

Finn looked at him blankly.

‘You said something about opening a trapdoor?’ said Archie gently.

Finn thought for a moment then shook his head. ‘Impossible.’ he pursed his fishy lips apologetically. ‘The only trapdoor round here is locked by three thousand p.s.i. of
hydraulic pressure and the only way to open it is by typing a code into the keypad in the rock face next to that sapling.’

Archie caught Gemma’s eye then broke into a sprint towards the apex of the building’s two arms. The others followed him and they regrouped next to a gnarled sapling that was somehow
growing out of the cliff.

‘Where is it?’ he asked, scanning the rugged wall in front of him.

‘Where’s what?’ Finn said. ‘Are you looking for something?’

‘The keypad,’ Gemma said firmly. ‘You said the keypad to open the trapdoor was on the cliff next to this tree?’

‘Did I?’ Finn’s mouth opened vacantly. ‘But if Doom had put the keypad here then anyone could see it.’

Archie, Barney and Gemma let out a collective groan. Finn continued, ‘That’s why the keypad is hidden behind this secret panel.’

He placed his scaly hand on a rocky nodule and twisted his wrist. A small rectangle of the stone receded into the cliff face and slid down out of view, leaving a neat hole. With a mechanical
whirr a telescopic metal arm extended out of the opening. Attached to the end of the arm was a small box with twelve buttons in four rows of three.

‘Finn, you’re amazing.’ Archie high-fived Finn, who seemed at a loss as to why his companions were so excited. ‘You had us all thinking you had no recollection of being
here, but all you needed was a little time to Mullet over.’

‘Exactly,’ Barney chipped in. ‘A Snapper decision is no use to anyone if it’s way off Bass.’

‘Were you teasing us on Porpoise?’ Archie giggled.

‘Excuse me,’ Gemma announced sternly. ‘If you two Clownfish have finished . . . we’ve got an Odious Mastermind to thwart and we don’t have a hope if we can’t
work out the cod – I mean the code – to this door.’

Archie nodded seriously and checked his watch again – it was one fifteen. They had forty-five minutes left.

Archie took out his own mobile and read aloud part of Dr Doom’s text message.

‘Nobody touch the keypad,’ Barney whispered urgently. ‘In my experience of megalomaniacs a device like this is always booby-trapped with fingerprint
recognition software. If anyone outside of Doom’s inner circle touches it, it’ll set off a remotely activated ultrasonic pulse that will throw us all over the roof edge to our certain
death.’

‘Last time I read your file,’ Gemma whispered, ‘your experience of megalomaniacs was confined to the pages of kids’ books or the local cinema.’

As Gemma reached out to examine the keypad Archie place his hand gently on her wrist.

‘Wouldn’t Finn’s prints be logged in Doom’s database?’ he suggested. ‘Maybe we should let him touch it. You know, to be on the safe side.’

For a moment Gemma’s eyes bored into Archie’s from behind her fringe, then she lowered her hand with a nod. ‘Can’t do any harm,’ she conceded.

‘Any ideas as to what the code might be?’ Barney asked Finn, who had turned his back on the cliff and was gazing out to sea.

‘Hmmm?’ Finn mumbled, turning round. ‘Sorry I was miles away. Hey, look at that keypad! Where on earth did that come from?’

‘Looks like the Finn we know and love is back,’ Gemma whispered to Archie.

Archie beamed. ‘That’s cool,’ he said. ‘I think I’ve cracked it anyway.’

‘You have?’

He nodded. ‘The code is two, zero, two, six, three, three.’

‘Really?’ enquired Gemma.

‘Of course! It’s simply brilliant,’ Barney enthused. ‘And indeed brilliantly simple, as all the best ciphers are if you ask me.’

‘If it’s that simple, Agent Zulu,’ Gemma’s voice was tight, ‘perhaps you can explain it to me?’

‘Well, it’s simply, er, simple . . . I’d even go as far as to say it’s
simplistic.
’

‘Yeah – simple – I get that part. Would you like to tell me
how
it’s so simple?’

Barney nudged Archie. ‘Doesn’t she remind you of Moore the Bore when she’s like this?’ he giggled.

‘Agent Zulu,’ Gemma snapped. ‘Do you understand the code for the keypad – yes or no?’

Instantly Barney’s cheeks slackened and his mouth was suddenly small. ‘Negative,’ he whispered.

‘In that case perhaps you’d let Agent Yankee explain?’

‘Barney’s right, actually,’ Archie said with a smile. ‘It really is simple.’

‘Told you so,’ Barney muttered very quietly.

Archie continued, ‘Doctor Doom said in his message that I would have to enter a code to open the door.’

‘Uh-huh.’

‘And how did he send me the message?’

‘By text.’

‘Exactly.’ Archie handed Gemma his phone, which was set up to send a message on predictive text. ‘What happens if you type in the numbers two, zero, two, six, three,
three?’

With a sceptical frown Gemma typed the digits with her thumbs. When she had finished and read the words on the phone’s screen, her expression softened and a smile danced around her lips.
‘You could be right,’ she conceded. ‘I’m beginning to see why SPADE rated you so highly, Agent Yankee.’