Stirred with Love (5 page)

The next day, Kate and her mum moved to Brentside to stay with Nana and Granddad Morton until they found somewhere more permanent. Her father promised to come and see her as soon as he had settled into his new job and the flat that came with it. Joseph Portman became a pub landlord. Not in a pleasant pub, but a nitty-gritty, back street poke of a dive, full of the scum of the earth. It took Kate some years to realise just how well he had fitted in.

At first, he kept to his word and Kate was picked up early every Sunday morning. Most of the time she’d been made to stay upstairs in the huge flat of endless, empty rooms with whichever child – or children sometimes – was spending the Sunday with their father, while they propped up the bar downstairs. Sometimes, she liked whoever it was she had to befriend at short notice. Other times, she hated it and would then get shouted at for being sulky.

And she missed her own friends too. Although it was only a few miles away, moving to Nana and Granddad’s house meant that Kate had to change schools. It had been such a traumatic experience for her, no matter how her mum said she would get over it and make new friends. She hadn’t. She was nine years old. Real friendships had already been formed years earlier. She became the odd one out, her confidence suffered for it and she began to withdraw.

Her weekend trips to her father continued until her mum intervened a year later, saying that she didn’t want her daughter sitting in the smoky, drunken atmosphere of a public house all day. Or had it been sitting in the smoky, drunken atmosphere of her father…Kate could never quite remember.

After a couple of years living in a rented maisonette, Kate’s mum married Trevor and they moved into his house. Kate hadn’t seen her father since then. She’d been thirteen. Sometimes she wondered why she hadn’t visited him again, when she was older. But most of the time, she realised it was because the sense of abandonment had remained with her to this day.

What was it other people – other fortunate people – always advised you to do? Rid yourself of your demons, forgive and move on?

It’s easy for them to say that.

Rosie trotted in from the garden, shook the rain from her fur in dramatic style and jumped up beside her. Not caring about her wet feet, Kate pulled her close and buried her face in her fur.

‘Oh, Rosie,’ she sobbed. ‘What am I going to do without him?’

‘You’re doing
what
?’ Through thick-rimmed glasses, Irene Porter proceeded to cross-examine Lily as if she’d grown another head.

Lily Mortimer and her friend, Irene, had taken the bus into Hedworth just as they did every Monday morning and were enjoying a pensioner ‘tea and scone’ deal in the station’s café before paying a few bills. Over the years, the café had become a favourite of theirs. They loved nothing more than sharing gossip while someone else waited on their needs for a change. Today, they’d been lucky enough to grab a table as someone was leaving.

‘I’m opening up the café again,’ Lily repeated.

‘But…but I think it’s a ridiculous notion,’ Irene finally spoke out when she realised that Lily was actually being serious. She pulled in her chair as an elderly man tried to push his way through it. ‘Why would you want to start up all over again? And, at your time of life? You’re an old woman. You should be taking things easy now.’

Lily looked around the busy room as the three women behind the counter had trouble keeping up with their orders but went about it in methodical fashion. She very nearly lost her nerve, but then put down her cup as she turned back to her friend.

‘I have a funny feeling that Bernard wants me to do it.’

‘That’s even
more
ridiculous. Will you listen to yourself! Besides, Bernard wanted you to close the café down.’

Lily lifted her cup. ‘Maybe he thought that was what I wanted. Oh, I don’t know. I can’t explain myself. It’s just this feeling I have.’

Irene stabbed her knife into a square of butter and spread a thick dollop over her scone. ‘Like I said, I still think it’s ridiculous.’

As she watched her friend polish off her elevenses, Lily felt a huge sadness engulf her. Never thinking for one moment that she would understand, she’d still wanted to tell her the news. But couldn’t she say anything other than
ridiculous
!

Irene had been the first person Lily had met when she’d moved to Somerley with Bernard in 1960. Lily loved playing bingo, so when Bernard spotted a poster on the church notice board advertising it for every Thursday night, she’d nervously decided to try it out. Irene had pulled her slight frame along the seating opposite her, plonked her checked grocery bag down with an exaggerated sigh and, oblivious to Lily’s anxiety, had introduced herself and told her life story within the next ten minutes. That night, they’d shared their winnings and a loyal friendship had begun.

Bernard had got along well with Irene, even more so with her husband, Albert, and they both had lots of fond memories of the four of them doing one mad thing or another. Sometimes it was all the two of them talked about. They could go on for hours, relaxing under the shade of the oak tree, strolling around the nearby park, or sitting in one another’s parlours as they baked cakes together. Neither of them realised the benefits of what they were doing, they were just so used to doing it. No one knew their husbands like they did.

Albert had been the first one to go. He’d died three years ago now. Bernard had been as distraught as Irene. He’d been a pallbearer at his funeral and had asked to say a few words in his honour. Lily could clearly remember how he had written a long speech, full of praise for his friend. But on the day, he only managed a few words before his emotions got the better of him. It broke her heart to see her husband standing in his Sunday best, with tears pouring down his face. She’d gone to join him on the pulpit, stood by his side and took hold of his hand before reading out the remainder of the tribute. It was the least she could do.

Irene’s cup clattering on her saucer again brought Lily out of fond memories and back to the present day. She glanced at her friend over the rim of her cup. Irene had the same pair of glasses perched on the end of her rather large nose that Lily could remember from as far back as her and Bernard’s Golden Wedding Anniversary. If she looked closely, she could just about make out the browns of Irene’s eyes through the thick lenses and folds of skin. But Irene’s hair was her crowning glory. It had stayed thick and lustrous over the years, and although Irene had grown old gracefully by leaving the blonde dye alone in her fifties, she had kept the chin length bob that suited her round face.

Irene smiled at Lily, her top false teeth almost popping out in the process. Lily’s annoyance instantly mellowed. Irene was a good friend and she knew it would have been harder to cope with Bernard’s death without her. Perhaps she was expecting too much for her to believe that she needed to do this.

‘Come on.’ Lily returned the smile. ‘How about I pay for these, we do our errands and then go and see what’s on at the Odeon this afternoon?’

Irene emptied the last dregs of her tea before setting down her cup noisily again. ‘What a terrific idea.’

In the silence of the house, Kate jumped considerably at the sound of the telephone ringing. She scrambled to pick it up.

‘Nick? NICK!’

‘I’m here.’

Kate held the handset close, as if somehow he’d be nearer to her that way. ‘Where are you?’ she asked.

‘I’m...just leaving work for the day.’

Kate stalled for a moment.
Work
? He’d managed to go into work after he’d ripped her heart out?

‘Why?’ Her voice lost the fight to control her grief and the rehearsed speech she’d planned disappeared. ‘Why have you left me?’

‘It wasn’t working. I’ve been thinking –’

‘But –’

‘I can’t make it right, Kate.’

‘I just want to know,’ she sobbed.

‘Please don’t cry. I –’

‘Tell me why then.’

Nick paused to collect his thoughts. ‘There were lots of reasons, I suppose.’

‘We could start afresh?’

‘No, we –’

‘But it’s not too late! I’m willing to try again. I know a lot of it was my fault but I can change. Please give me another chance.’

‘There isn’t any –’

‘And how could you leave like that? After all I’ve gone through as a child. You just walked away, without saying goodbye, without explaining why.’

‘I…I thought it would be better that way.’

‘Better for you, no doubt. Where are you staying?’ Painful though it was, Kate had to know.

‘With a friend.’

‘Of the female kind?’

A sigh of exasperation. ‘I can’t speak to you now. I’ll call you later in the week, when we’ve both had time to think about things.’

‘NICK!’ Kate screamed as the line went dead, only then realising that the conversation hadn’t gone as well as she’d hoped. ‘Nick! Don’t go!’

‘You bastard!’ she cried. ‘You fuck head, you tosspot, you wanker!’

CHAPTER SIX

‘Three exams down, three to go! Thank God it’s Friday!’ Chloe raised a bottle of lager high into the air. Her best friend, Manda, chinked it with hers. Almost rudely, they pushed their way through the student bar and found an empty table at the back of the room. Chloe threw down her bag and grabbed the nearest seat.

‘I’m going to be so bored without you all summer,’ Manda sighed, turning towards her.

‘I know,’ said Chloe. ‘I can’t believe I’m leaving.’ She tore open a bag of crisps and offered them to her friend before taking a fleeting look around the room that had been their sanctuary for the past two years. As more and more students crammed in as one by one their exams finished, it was hard to see the colour of the walls with their array of brightly coloured posters, harder yet to see the worn out, stained to death carpet. Between them both, they must have had a crush on every lad who’d come through the doors. It was sad to think it would all be over soon.

Manda helped herself to another crisp and began to suck off the cheese and onion flavouring. ‘I still think you’ll be back before the end of the first month,’ she said. ‘You’ve never done a day’s hard graft in your life.’

‘That’s because I’ve only ever worked for my dad.’

‘And you’ve never been able to make a decent cup of coffee since I’ve known you.’

‘I’ll have people helping me.’ Chloe removed her feet from a stool as someone gestured to see if it was free. ‘Besides, it’ll be out of a machine. What harm can I do?’

‘And you don’t know the meaning of the word money yet,’ Manda argued. ‘You’ll be broke before the end of your first week.’

Chloe grinned. ‘No, I won’t. My beloved dad has agreed to extend my allowance over summer.’

‘Jeez, you’re such a spoilt brat.’

‘Jeez, I’m going to miss you.’

Manda slapped Chloe jokingly on the thigh. They’d talked about their friendship, knowing that once they were apart everything would change. Manda was taking a course in media and had a place at their local uni. Chloe had tried hard to persuade Manda to come along with her and waitress but she had hit a brick wall every time. ‘Why would I swap my dreary bar job for one waiting on tables?’ Manda had scoffed. Besides, Chloe knew she wouldn’t leave Callum behind.

Callum and Christian arrived before Chloe could retaliate.

‘How did you do?’ she heard Callum say,
watching awkwardly as he kissed Manda with a passion.

‘I finished way before the end of the time limit,’ Manda told him when they came up for air. ‘Which means that, either I’m so brainy I got it all right, or I’m stupid and have written a load of bollocks.’

‘Well, I’m with you on the second one,’ said Chloe. She deliberately put a foot back on the remaining spare stool to ensure Christian had to sit next to Callum at the opposite end of the seating. The flush rising up his cheeks made it obvious he knew she was being off with him.

‘Top up, girls?’ Callum offered later. Christian followed him to the bar.

‘You’ve gone off him, haven’t you?’ Manda said as soon as they were out of range.

‘He’s boring me,’ Chloe admitted. Guiltily, she treated Christian to a smile as he turned back. He wasn’t a bad looking guy, with his mass of curly blond hair and he did look fit in his jeans and long sleeved t-shirt but…

‘He’s so immature,’ she added. ‘We’ve got nothing in common. All he wants to talk about is cars and Manchester United. You know the only thing that interests me about football is the guy’s butts in their tight shorts, and I can hardly talk about that with him now, can I?’

‘God, Chloe, you’re impossible! What you really mean is that he’s good enough to shag but not to hold long and meaningful conversations with?’

‘Yeah, you got it.’ Apparently Manda hadn’t believed Chloe the other night when she’d said she didn’t want to sleep with Christian.

‘Besides, what’s the use of keeping it going? There’ll be talent galore to check out once I get to Somerley. I’ll have to start with a clean slate then, won’t I?’

Searching through the bottom drawer of her wardrobe, in a last ditch attempt to find what she was after, Kate tipped its contents out onto the bed until she finally found the delicate underwear Nick had bought for her last year. Tenderly, she fingered the deep-purple lace as the memories came flooding back. Only last year, Nick had tried to make amends after yet another explosive row by booking them into a hotel in York. But the weekend away had seemed forced somehow.

Tears formed at the corner of Kate’s eyes but she refused to let them fall. Get a grip, Kate, she told herself sharply. Now is not the time to wallow in self-pity. Now is the time to start a killer beauty regime and put plan A into action. Before she could recall anything else that was likely to upset her further, she ran back to the bathroom, shimmied out of her dressing gown and submerged herself beneath the hot water.

An hour later, moisturised, de-fuzzed and smelling exquisite, Kate checked the gold watch that Nick had surprised her with on their first wedding anniversary for the umpteenth time that night. Her hair was clipped up as he liked it. She wore a long, woollen plum skirt with a sheer black blouse, concealing the underwear she’d been looking for. Knowing she was at her best was her only defence. After five days of going through every emotion known to her, Nick was coming to see her.