Stirred with Love (6 page)

Most of the time since she’d found out on Sunday evening had passed by in a blur. After Nick’s phone call on Monday, she’d rehearsed everything she was going to say to him but he hadn’t called back for three days, by which time she’d convinced herself she wasn’t going to hear from him ever again.

Time had dragged all week as she’d wondered what he’d be doing during every minute of the day or night. She’d sat in the warm sunshine of the garden until she couldn’t bear to see what they had created looking so bright and colourful without him by her side. She’d searched in the loft to see if he’d left an old jumper or shirt that she could wear, but all she’d found was an old yellow teddy bear. She’d hardly eaten a thing and was talked out with Louise. Finally, after umpteen text messages, he’d agreed to come around tonight.

Hearing his car pull into the driveway, Kate’s stomach flipped over. Quickly, she uncorked the bottle and poured the wine.

‘Kate?’

‘In the kitchen.’

Before she could panic anymore, Nick filled most of the doorway. His appearance gave away how he was feeling: shoulders sagging, shirt creased and crumpled, one flap hanging out disobediently, messy hair crumpled beyond styling.

As he stood there looking as uncomfortable as she felt, Kate was reminded just how much she’d missed him. Missed those eyes that now gave away how tired he was, the nervous way he drew a hand through his hair. Missed the way a few hairs popped above his shirt collar where he’d loosened his tie due to the late hour. Missed…

Oh, god, Kate realised. She missed everything about him. Anxiously, she turned away and blinked back the tears threatening to spill.

As soon as she spotted Nick, Rosie ran across the room. Nick swept her up easily into his arms. ‘Hello girl,’ he murmured into her fur.

‘I’ve made some pasta,’ said Kate.

‘I’m not really hungry.’

‘Please?’

‘Just a little, then.’

Moments later, Kate sat down opposite him at the table. She’d left the television on purposely in the background, but the quiet that descended between them made her feel troubled.

‘How’s work?’ she asked.

‘Hectic. You?’

‘I haven’t been in this week. I couldn’t face it.’ Unintentionally, she giggled.

Nick swallowed his food before raising concerned eyes to meet hers. ‘You’ve got to move on, Kate.’

‘I haven’t accepted what’s happened yet, never mind begun to deal with it.’

‘I must admit, it does feel strange.’ Nick pointed to his bowl with his fork. ‘Great, as usual,’ he smiled.

They both knew he was trying to change the subject.

Afterwards, Nick offered to wash the dishes.

‘No, it’s fine,’ Kate told him. ‘I can manage.’

She would have to manage. Being in such close contact to him was making everything weird. She couldn’t concentrate on anything but his eyes. Those come to bed eyes that had seduced her over the years. They were saying the same thing now.

She piled up the plates, trying to ignore the sexual tension in the room. Then, through the reflection of the window, Kate watched Nick move slowly, unsurely, towards her. His arm encircled her waist. So close she could feel his breath on her neck, she shivered as he moved her blouse an inch to the side and ran the tip of his tongue along the length of her bare shoulder.

‘Nick...’

He reached around her, put his hands into the soapy water, took the cup she was holding and placed it on the draining board. Slowly, he turned her around to face him.

‘Nick…It’s…’ was all she had time to whisper before his lips were on hers and she melted at their touch. Wet soapy hands found their way into her blouse. Still he kissed her – harder now, more urgent. She pulled out his shirt, then finding no resistance, broke away to undo the buttons. Breathing heavily, one by one she undid them and moved onto her own as he kissed her again. Groaning slightly as she undid his belt, he pushed her blouse down her arms and away from her body. Turning her again, he eased her onto the table. Not leaving her mouth for a second, he pushed up her skirt to caress the exposed flesh at the top of her thighs before moving higher. Kate relaxed back as his gentle touch exploded every one of her nerve endings, causing goose bumps to rise on her now so sensitive skin.

In the split second he pulled away, she thought he’d changed his mind. Relief flooded through her as he undid his trousers. She sat up and reached inside them. Knowing so well every intricate detail of his body, she teased and stroked him exactly the way she knew he wanted her to. When he could resist no more, he entered her, letting out a groan as he thrust deeper into her again and again.

‘We shouldn’t have done that,’ said Nick, minutes later.

‘Don’t be daft,’ said Kate. ‘Not doing that before got us where we are now.’

‘That’s not why I came to see you.’ Nick’s eyes refused to meet Kate’s as he handed back her blouse. ‘I wanted to talk.’

‘We did more than that.’ Kate flashed him a sultry smile. Nick didn’t return it so it morphed into a frown. ‘Didn’t you enjoy it?’

‘That’s not the point.’

Not the point of what? They’d just had sex, Kate couldn’t remember the last time they’d had it so good. Warning signs shot across her mind as he remained silent, but she buried them rapidly. Instead, she chanced quick glances at him but he was looking at the floor.

‘I can’t do this,’ he said, eventually looking up. ‘I can’t switch my feelings on and off when it suits.’

 ‘But –’

‘You don’t understand, do you?’ Nick’s voice rose slightly.

‘No, I don’t. Why don’t you explain?’

‘‘When I’m not with you, I can be brave about things. Our marriage wasn’t working, we both knew that, and I’m not sure we can make it better again. I don’t want to hurt you anymore. Like I said, I just came here to talk things over. I didn’t mean to take advantage of the situation. It’s just that…’ Nick paused. ‘You looked so fricking sexy in that outfit. When I saw you tonight, all the feelings I had for you came rushing back. I feel such a bastard.’

Some of her plan had worked, Kate congratulated herself inwardly. At last he was beginning to come around.

But, wait a minute. All the feelings he
had
?

‘So what do we do now?’ she asked.

Nick shrugged his shoulders and sat down on the settee. Rosie moved closer and he absent-mindedly stroked her chest. Concentrating intently on
Sky News
, they sat in silence.

‘I’ve got lots of questions,’ Kate said when the break came on.

‘I haven’t got any answers,’ said Nick. ‘I’m not going to sit here and list all your faults. Some of it was down to me. I think we took each other for granted. Sometimes it happens. We –’

‘You could always come back,’ Kate interrupted, trying hard to keep things on track although she knew she was heading up a one way street.

Nick shook his head. ‘I can’t.’

‘But it’s not too late.’ Kate switched off the TV, hoping to get his undivided attention. ‘I’m willing to try again. I know a lot of it was my fault but I can change. I want to –’

‘It’s not that simple.’ Nick stood up and she quickly followed suit.

‘Please give me another chance. I promise this time I won’t be –’

‘Such a nag?’

‘What?’ A look of bewilderment crossed Kate’s face.

‘You used to be so much fun when I first met you. I always enjoyed your sense of humour, your wit. But just lately, you started to direct it at me in a cruel way. Everything I did was wrong, so I bit back.’

‘But –’

‘I was sick of all the arguing too. In fact, in some bitter and twisted way, I’m sure you were trying to turn me against you. You’ve wanted me to leave for a long time now, but without it having anything to do with your behaviour. So you can’t be to blame.’

‘You’re saying it’s my fault?’ Kate’s voice was barely audible. She knew she’d been off with him lately, but it took two to argue with such conviction week after week.

‘Yes…No...Maybe it’s me who’s changed. I don’t know, but I can’t make it right now.’

‘But…’

‘For fuck’s sake, Kate. It won’t work again. Can’t you see that?’

Kate sat down with a bump. Tears came fast and freely then.

Nick sat down beside her. ‘I didn’t mean to be so harsh,’ he spoke quietly, ‘but I need you to understand that I’m not coming back. I didn’t set out to…well, you know, what we did tonight, but you reminded me of the old Kate who used to make me happy. It was wrong of me and I’m sorry.’

Kate said nothing. She didn’t trust herself not to lash out at him with her tongue. And even if she shouted and screamed and threw things and smashed things, she knew none of that would make any difference.

‘It’s over, Kate,’ said Nick, ‘and I’m sorry for any hurt that you’re feeling. But you have to get on with your life now, without me.’

Through her tears, Kate gazed into his eyes. Those eyes that she’d often got lost in. All the years she’d seen them shine and now they’d lost their sparkle.

He stopped at the door and turned back for a moment. ‘Bye, Kate.’

Only when she heard the front door close behind him did she really start to cry.

CHAPTER SEVEN

‘Have you got Freddie?’ Ben questioned Chloe as he watched his sister busy pouting at herself, checking her reflection yet again in the visor mirror.

‘Yep, I’ve checked four times already.’ Chloe picked up her bag and pulled out Ben’s lucky mascot. Originally the bright green fluffy toy had belonged to her anyway. Martin Farmer had won it for her at the fair when she was twelve. He’d spent all his money trying to score 21 with three darts only for her to finish with him a week later.

‘I hope he’s as lucky for you,’ Ben added.

‘He didn’t do you any harm,’ she teased, rubbing the cuddly toy over his face.

Ben pushed her hand away. ‘Yes, but I’m smarter than you. I didn’t need luck.’

Chloe climbed out of the car, slung her bag over her shoulder and walked around to the driver’s door.

‘Thanks for lunch, it was great. And for the lift too. I have big plans to get drunk this afternoon.’

‘Give’em hell, little sister!’ Ben winked and held up his hand for her to high five. ‘And don’t worry if you flunk it. You’ll still have the Ward family charm to fall back on.’

After waving him off, Chloe scanned the crowd for her friend’s familiar face amongst the throng of students making their way noisily into the main hall. Manda was waiting for her on the top step. She watched her nervously flicking her pen on and off at great speed as she legged it up the last two steps to reach her.

‘You good to go?’

‘Not really, but who gives a toss. Let’s do it.’

Staring absent-mindedly through the floor-length glass mirrors in front of her, for once Kate was glad that there weren’t many exercisers in the small gym on Friday afternoon. With heavy feet, she stepped onto the first of four-in-a-row treadmills, punched in a ludicrously high setting and notched in her usual hill program. What she desperately needed was a tough challenge to take her mind off things.

But ten minutes into her run, the cogs were still whirring as she pounded on towards her five-mile target. In vain, she tried to concentrate on the TV screen as the half-naked body of the lead singer of some hot new boy band frolicked around in the sand dunes in their latest video. Oh, to be young and free of worries, she thought, as she forced herself to go faster. Knowing she wasn’t going to go in to the zone today, where her mind would be concentrating more on her breathing rather than her worries, she decided to focus on what to do next. Maybe all she and Nick needed was a short break, giving them both time to re-align their feelings and get back into synch. She knew she’d taken Nick for granted, hadn’t really cared about him that much in the end. But the more he wasn’t there, the more she wanted him back.

Finally, the treadmill clocked up her target mileage and she allowed herself to take a breather and push down the speed. Although she’d originally come to forget her predicament, her sub-conscience had worked everything out for her anyway.

After a few days holiday rather than face things, she was dreading going back to work on Monday morning. Maybe her work colleagues, with the exception of Louise, of course, would be more concerned about sharing their weekend’s stories and escapades rather than concentrating on how pale Kate McKenzie looked, about how much weight she’d dropped during the longest week of her life, and what her mental state was now that she was on her own.

Not that she was going to tell anyone straight away, as she might not be there for very much longer.

Are you sure you want to do this, Lily? It’s such a big step to take.’

Lily Mortimer wasn’t sure she was doing the right thing at all, but nothing was going to deter her now she’d made up her mind.

‘Yes, Mr Stead,’ she replied. ‘I’m sure.’

‘You could bow out gracefully and sell the building how it stands.’

‘I could,’ said Lily, indebted to him because he’d agreed to call on his way back to his office rather than have her wait until she next went into Hedworth.

‘You could still get a tidy sum for it. Taylor Constructions are only interested in the land, not the building, to develop.’

‘And I won’t let them take it as it stands. I have to look after my retirement, Mr Stead. If I have a viable business here, it could be worth more.’

‘But you’ll have to spend more to get this place up and running again.’

‘Speculate to accumulate, I think.’

‘I admire your tenacity, Lily.’ Mr Stead extracted a large envelope from his briefcase and gave it to her. ‘Read through all the details tonight and come to see me next week. We can go over any questions you may have then.’

Lily removed the lid from her pen before pulling out the contents and flicking to the back page. ‘Nonsense, Mr Stead. You’ve been my solicitor for a good many years. I think I can trust you on one last venture.’

‘I don’t know why they call it rush hour, love.’ The taxi driver peered through the rear mirror, adjusting it slightly to catch Kate’s attention as he pushed his glasses further up his large nose. ‘You can’t rush anywhere in this traffic. Where to?’