Stolen (19 page)

He leaves and doesn’t try to come back. I fall to the floor, crushed.

CHAPTER 12

I wake the morning of the funeral and my heart aches. I can’t do this, say goodbye to my family in front of all those people. I don’t know how I will cope. I have one thing I want to do before I say goodbye, I have a little time before everyone shows up to get me. I dress myself in a basic black dress, tying my hair up. I don’t bother putting on makeup; I know I am going to shed many tears today.

I step outside, and the warm breeze touches my face. I look up at the sky and take in a deep breath; I start towards my old home. It is still bound off and locked, but I have a key. I duck under the police tape and walk towards the front door. It is probably dangerous, but I don’t care, I unlock it and step in. Ash has settled all over the floor, but the bottom
story
is as it always has been. I walk in, and tears fall from my face; I scrunch my eyes together.

I walk into the lounge room, running my fingers over the beautiful furniture. I can see
photos
on the display cabinet, they have always been there. There is one of me when I was seven, my blonde hair tied up and hidden under a fairy crown. I am surrounded by presents; everyone is smiling. I wished I could go back to that day just for a moment. I grab the photo and hold it to my chest. I also take a photo of Mark; tears fell from my face, and I run my fingers across the glass, this is the only thing I have left.

I walk into my
father’s
office, sitting on his desk is a picture of me. It had never been there before; daddy had missed me? That is it for me; I sit on his desk with the ash covering my dress and I cry “Oh daddy” I whimper like a little child. I wish I had seen him one last time; I wish I could have said sorry, that I did love him. He was hard, but he loved me, I can see that now.

I spot his computer sitting under a pile of ash, its lifeless body still and worn. I lift it up and turn it on, another picture of me. The tears come harder now. I flick through his emails then I see one addressed to me. I never got an email from daddy. I open it and read through it.

Dear Em,

I miss you every day. I should have been stronger, pushed harder. I should have been there for you and loved you how you wanted to be loved. I should have given up every cent I had for you. Now you’re gone, and you think I don’t love you. I do love you; you’re my little girl. From the day you were born you were mine. I never showed you enough that I cared, when you went out I never told you that I was worried, never told you I sat awake until I heard you sneak back inside. You were my
angel
Em; I hope one day we can have a relationship again. You’re my princess – always and forever.

Love Dad

I start to scream then, punching everything around me. I drop to the floor. I hear people come inside, but I can’t think through my screaming.

“Oh dear
God
!” I hear a familiar voice; it is Nessie.

She takes me into her arms and holds me as I cry out and let out all my pain. I scream and shake, but she just holds me. I soak her dress with my tears.

“They are gone!”

“Yes sweetheart they are shhh.”

“Daddy, he loved me.”

“Of course he loved you baby girl, of course he did.”

“I thought he didn’t love me anymore, I saw an email.” I sob hiccupping between my words; I am beyond hysterical.

“He loved you sweetheart. He was your father, of course he did.” She soothes.

“Oh
God
, how am I supposed to live without them?”

“
Shhh
we are all here. Come on, let’s get you out of here, it’s too dangerous.”

I hadn’t realized Nessie wasn’t alone. She has them all here, Bill, Jock, Blade and Cassie; they have seen the lot. They all stare at me; there are tears in each of their eyes, even Cassie’s. I look away, crushing the photos to my chest.

Nessie leads me out, and I look around my house once more, stopping to stare one last time. Everyone stops with me; I let out another loud sob. Tears are still flowing down
my face like a tap has been turned on. I duck into the lounge once more and grab a photo of mum and dad off the shelf too. Then I step outside, for the last time.

I climb into a car; I didn’t even realize that it is Blade’s. Cassie gets in the front and Blade drives.
Jock sits in the back with me, gra
bbing my hand in his and
holding it tightly.
I let him hold my hand; I need it. I see Blade glance at me a few times through the mirror; his eyes are devastated for me. I just look down.

When we get to the church, there are hundreds of people. I know mum and dad had a lot of friends, so it doesn’t surprise me. I get out of the car and am bombarded by questions and hugs, but I don’t want to speak. I try to struggle free, they just kept grabbing me. They won’t get off.

“Let go of me!”

“Let her go!” Snarls Blade, shoving people off.

Nessie comes along and takes my hand. “Come on love, I got you.”

She pulls me into the church, and we sit down right at the front. Three coffins are placed neatly next to each other. Everyone is sitting down waiting for the priest; I stand up and walk slowly to the coffins. No one tries to stop me, hundreds of people stare. I run my fingers over Mark’s coffin; I am choking loudly from the tears. I kiss my fingers and touch the coffin, moving on to daddy's I do the same thing. When I get to mum’s I stop, I just put my hand on it.  I don’t know how I feel about her death.

My hands shake. I look towards the others; not one of them are dry eyed. Even Bill. Blade has puffy eyes; a silent tear falls from his cheek. He stares at me with such intensity; his eyes are full of pain and devastation for me. The priest comes in and grabs my hand tightly.

“Do you want to stand with me?”

I nod. He reads the passage slowly, and I sob silently. When he is finished, he asks if I want to say anything. I shake my head. I can’t. I don’t know what to say. I want to say goodbye, I need to. I say my own silent prayer, before my body finally gives way and I fall to my knees.

“No Blade.” I hear Cassie cry.

“I have to help her.”

I feel arms wrap around me; it is Blade. I knew that hold from anywhere, I let myself go, crying hysterically but silently. My body shakes.

“It’s alright, I got you. I have always got you.” He whispers into my ear.

I turn to face him and bury my head into his chest. He scoops his arms under my legs and lifts me up.

“I am taking her outside mamma.”

“Okay son.” Nessie sobs.

He takes me outside and sits under a large tree. I sob into his shirt, soaking it, but he doesn’t move. He just sits there and lets me release all my emotions. Finally, I pull back, taking in one last deep sob. I stare at him. He looks back at me, and in that moment there is nothing else. His hand comes up to wipe away the last of my tears, neither of us speak we just look into
each other’s
eyes. Nothing could have taken this from us. Not even Cassie.

“I love you.” He whispers pulling me into him again where he holds me even longer.

His family come outside, and he lets go of me. They all hold onto me, hugging me close.

“Do you want to go see them buried?” Nessie asks. Her eyes puffy from crying.

I shake my head.

“Alright love, let’s get you home. Blade can you and Jock drive her home; we will follow.”

“Yeah of course.” Blade says putting his hand in mine, for that moment he didn’t care that Cassie was by his side, he only thought of me. 

“Cassie you need to drive.”

“Blade, I don’t think...”

“DRIVE!” He snaps harshly.

She snatches the keys out of his hands, and Jock gets in the front. Blade sits in the back with me and holds me close. I see Cassie staring at him through the mirror.  When we get home he helps me out of the car and inside, where I sit down on the couch. Everyone rushes about, getting me things but right now there is only one thing I want and that is Blade.

“I am going.” Cassie says, standing.

“I will call later.” Blade mutters.

“You have to be home to…”

“Not now Cassie.” Blade interrupts and I wonder what is going on.

“We will go to, let you help her down.” Nessie says, cutting the conversation off.

“I got it.”

When everyone leaves, Blade sits me down and cleans me up. When I am showered and changed, he tucks me into bed and kisses me passionately, which shocks me. Something is up, for some reason; I just know.

“Are you okay?”

“I will be.”

“I hope so. I wish there was a good time to do this.” He whispers.

“Do what?”

“Em I have to tell you something. If I don’t do it now then I won’t do it at all, and I know I have to.”

“What is it?”

“Well… Cassie went away for work as you know; while she was away she got offered a job.”

“And?” I say my heart pounding.

“Well she took it.”

“So?”

“It’s not in L.A.”

“What are you saying?”

“We are leaving Em, we are moving to
Texas
.”

“No you can’t do that to me, please no.”

“I am so sorry; I don’t want to go, but we are struggling.”

“I will give you money, just don’t go!” I plead, fresh tears streak my cheeks.

“It’s not just the money…”

“Your leaving so you won’t keep seeing me aren’t you?”

Reality hits me harshly.

“Em, if I stay here then I will just keep running to you. I am not giving my marriage a fair go if I keep doing this.”

“You can’t do this to me. You can’t leave me here.”

“Don’t you think it is killing me? The thought of not being with you. I love you, but I have to go.” He yells, frustrated.

“You don’t love me at all. If you did you wouldn’t be leaving.”

“Please don’t, this is so hard on me, but it has to be done.”

“NO! Please no!” I cry dropping to the ground.

“
Angel
,” He says, leaning down, but I punch his hand out of the way.

“How could you do this to me the day my family is buried!”

“I had to tell you soon because we leave in two days.”

His eyes are glassy and red; he is heaving breaths in and out.

“You’re leaving in two days?”

“Yes.”

“Oh
God
.”

I run into the bathroom and lock the door. I stay there even through all his pleading and pounding.  He finally whispers a tormented I love you, and leaves. I don’t see him again.

TWO YEARS LATER

It took months before things finally picked up; I got offered
modeling
jobs and I spent a lot of time
modeling
for large agents. I still visited Nessie often, never did Blade come
back or at least they never told me if he did. It has been two years since he left with Cassie. I heard she had lost a baby; I feel awful for that. I still love Blade; he is on my mind every day but slowly the pain diminished and is replaced by a distant memory of a past I want to forget.

I met a new man, and we have been dating over six months. His name is Mike. I had met him through my
modeling
company; he is a photographer. I do love him, not the way I love Blade but enough to keep me content. He is a handsome man; I can’t deny that. He has golden blonde hair and olive skin; he looks like your typical surfie, crystal blue eyes and well built.

Things are OK with us; we spend most of our time on jobs. Working and shooting. We have made a lot of money. I still own the little cabin, but I don’t live there anymore, most of the time we rent it out to tourists for their holidays. I can’t bear to go in it a lot, it holds such painful memories for me. I was so young back then, so immature; I made too many mistakes in that cabin.

I brought a house not far down from mum and dad’s old one; it is a beautiful solid white house, two stories high. Mike lives with me; he moved in a few months ago and so far things have been ok. Mike has a great charm about him and manages to woo everything that is female. Nessie adores him, every time we are there she does everything for him. I find that amusing, sometimes I think she would love anyone that I love, just because she loves me so much.

We have a massive
modeling
contract today; it is a tremendous thing for us. Mike is shooting me, so it is going to be a first; it is on the beach just down the road. I ready myself, my maid Emma helping me with my clothes. Then I join Mike downstairs for breakfast; we eat only the best foods, no fat, no carbs. Everything is healthy, mostly for me. Mike pushes it a lot because he wants me to keep my figure.

“Morning hon.” I smile and kiss him as I join him for breakfast, grabbing some fruit and coffee.