Stone Cold (19 page)

Drake chuckled as he stared at her, trying to believe what he was hearing. “Mad? Are you serious? You actually thought I’d be mad that you’re carrying my baby?” Standing, he pulled her into his arms. “I feel like the luckiest guy in the world right now,” he whispered in her ear.

“Oh yeah, how would you feel if I told you I couldn’t wait to marry you?”

The ring. It was piercing his palm and he hadn’t even noticed. Sliding it on her finger, his hand trembled. Looking at her, knowing now that in just seven or eight months they would be welcoming their baby into the world, every fear he’d had about their future melted away. “I can’t wait to be a dad, to be your husband. That’s the only thing that matters to me.”

Kissing him gently, she smiled. “And you and this baby are the only thing that matters to me, Drake.”

Cassidy looked at her reflection in the full-length mirror in their master bedroom. It seemed like just yesterday that Drake slipped the engagement ring on her finger. Perhaps because the past six weeks had been a blur. She wasn’t ready to tell anyone about the baby until she passed the first trimester, but she joked with Drake that she wanted to wear a wedding dress, not a tent, so time was of the essence.

As soon as she said the word, he was on the phone to the most sought-after wedding planner in the state, asking her to drop everything to make their dream wedding a reality in six short weeks.

A soft knock on the door drew her attention away from the mirror and Cassidy held her breath as she said softly, “Come in.”

Her mother and sister stood on the other side of the door, staring at her with tears welling in their eyes. They had come a long way in a short time, and while Cassidy knew they still had their issues to work through, she was confident they would get there. Especially now that little Hannah was here to bridge the gap. With any luck, their babies would grow up together, as close as they had once been.

Drake wasn’t ready to forgive his brother and sister-in-law just yet, but he was coming around, especially since Lee and Katie asked Cassidy and Drake to be their daughter’s godparents.

“You look gorgeous,” Katie said, crossing the room to hug her sister. “I’m so happy for you, sis.”

As Katie held her at arm’s length to appreciate her couture gown, Cassidy said through her tears, “I still can’t believe this is real. Girls like me don’t get to marry their Prince Charming or be the princess in the fairy tale.”

“You deserve this,” Katie said fiercely, squeezing her hands. “You worked so hard to turn your life around and I’m so proud of you.”

“So am I,” her mother said, putting an arm around each of her daughters. “I’m proud of both of you. You’ve come so far.”

“Looks who’s talking,” Katie said, resting her head against their mother’s.

It was true, their mother’s transformation had been remarkable. Since she got her first chip and found a sponsor she trusted, her entire life turned around. She now had a career she loved, was able to support herself, had an ever-growing network of friends who understood her struggles, and a healthy relationship with both of her daughters for the first time in their lives.

“Maybe we had to experience the bad in order to appreciate the good,” Liz said softly. “Sometimes life has a way of repeating the same hard lessons until eventually you have no choice but to get the message.”

“Words of wisdom,” Cassidy said, brushing a hand over her mother’s cheek.

Liz looked younger and more vital than she had in years. She had a sparkle in her eye now that she never had before, and Cassidy knew that was because she was finally awakening to life’s possibilities. She now understood she didn’t have to let her past define her future. She could be whomever she chose to be.

“I have something to tell you,” Cassidy said. She had intended to wait, but this seemed like the perfect time to share her news. “Drake and I are going to have a baby.”

“Oh,” her mother said, covering her hand with her mouth as a tear slid down her cheek. “Really? Two grandbabies in one year?”

Katie and Cassidy shared a smile before Katie said, “Remember when we were younger, we always said it would be cool to have our kids grow up together?”

“I remember,” Cassidy said, trying to hold back her own tears. The make-up artist and hair stylist did a beautiful job and she wanted to preserve the look until Drake saw her walk down the aisle. She suspected as soon as they began sharing their vows, all bets would be off.

“I still want that,” Katie said, holding her sister’s hand. “More now than ever. I know how important family is and I want my little girl to know that too.”

Katie and Cassidy hugged as she looked over her sister’s shoulder to see Lee standing at the door. While they’d never confronted the past, she knew that forgiveness was a part of her journey and that if she could forgive her mother and sister, not to mention herself, she had to forgive her brother-in-law’s indiscretions as well.

“Katie, I think Hannah needs to be fed before the ceremony,” Lee said.

“You’re right,” Katie said, squeezing Cassidy’s hand one last time before she made her way to the door.

“Do you need anything?” Liz asked Cassidy.

“No, I’m fine.” She smiled. “Just anxious.”

“Not as anxious as your groom, I’m sure,” Liz said, laughing. “He looks like he’s about ready to pass out.”

“My brother won’t have to wait much longer,” Lee said, consulting his watch.

“I should check on things downstairs,” Liz said, smiling. “Poor Dora seemed a little frazzled. Maybe I can help her.”

Cassidy was pleased to see her mother and Dora forming a friendship. Drake’s housekeeper had become like family to her, so it was important to her that her mother and sister welcomed her into their family too.

Lee stepped aside so his mother-in-law could pass through the doorway. When she was out of earshot, he said, “Do you mind if I have a word with you, Cassidy?”

She didn’t want anything to spoil this day, but she couldn’t continue to shut Lee down the way Drake had. She preached to her fiancé about the importance of forgiveness all the time and now she had to lead by example. “Sure, come on in.”

Cassidy couldn’t deny Lee had been making a real effort, not only to be a good husband and father, but to rebuild his life. He’d gone back to school and was working full-time as a caretaker at the inn where they were living.

Lee closed the door, offering a shy smile when he glanced at Cassidy’s creamy silk strapless gown. “You look great.”

“Thanks.” There was no sign of the flirtatious jerk he’d been when he was using and Cassidy was grateful for that. Just thinking about what happened between them still turned her stomach if she allowed herself to dwell on it.

“My brother’s a lucky man.”

“So are you. Don’t forget that.” Cassidy sensed there was discord in Lee and Katie’s marriage, but she didn’t know if that was because of the stress of having a new baby to care for or the realization that they were moving in directions now that they were both in recovery.

“I know.” He looked Cassidy in the eye when he said, “Hannah has changed me, Cass. I had no idea I could love anyone the way I love her.”

Cassidy’s hand went to her stomach and she immediately regretted the action when Lee’s eyes followed the gesture. She suspected Katie would tell her husband the news, since she hadn’t asked her not to, but that didn’t mean she was ready to count Lee as a member of her inner circle just yet.

“Are you…?” Lee smiled when Cassidy nodded. “Seriously? That’s amazing.”

Now that Lee was off the drugs and taking better care of himself, the resemblance between he and Drake was startling. Cassidy had to tear her eyes away when looking into his eyes almost felt like looking into Drake’s. There was a warmth and compassion, a genuine affection, she never expected to see in Lee.

“I think so.”

“Wow, my brother’s gotta be stoked.”

“We’re both pretty excited about it,” Cassidy said, offering a slight smile.

Lee was always going to be her child’s uncle and the father of her niece. That wasn’t going to change regardless of how she and Drake felt about it, so she decided then and there to accept him as part of her family, for the sake of the children they loved.

His smile slipped and he shoved his hand into the pocket of his black suit pants. “I am so sorry about messing up your life the way I did. I’m trying to forgive myself for that. I know it’s an important part of my recovery, but I gotta be honest, it isn’t easy. Just thinking about what I did to you and Drake—”

“You can’t keep beating yourself up about the past, Lee.” Cassidy knew from experience that drug addiction and alcohol were often borne of self-loathing and for little Hannah’s sake, she never wanted to watch Lee go down that road again.

“My brother still hates me,” he said, looking pained. “I can’t say that I blame him. I would feel the same way in his shoes.”

“He just needs a little more time.”

Cassidy didn’t know if the brothers would ever be able to rebuild the bond they’d once had, but for the sake of the man she loved, she hoped so. She knew Drake’s bitterness toward his twin was eating away at him and she hated to see him hurting that way. She understood addiction better than Drake ever could. She’d tried to explain to him that it was the drugs that prompted Lee to jump into bed with her that night, but Drake still wasn’t buying it.

“I hope you’re right.” His broad shoulders were slumped when he said, “Whether Drake believes me or not, I’d do anything to make things right.”

“I believe you,” Cassidy said quietly. She was surprised to realize she did. She never expected forgiveness to come on her wedding day, but it seemed fitting. It was a day of new beginnings, and she was ready to start a new relationship with her brother-in-law. “I forgive you.” She knew he needed to hear that. Sometimes a recovering addict needed forgiveness from the person or people they’d wronged before they could begin to forgive themselves.

He began swallowing rapidly as though he were trying to contain the emotion welling up. “Thank you,” he whispered. “You don’t know how much I needed to hear that.”

Feeling compassion for a man who, on many levels, she shared more common ground with than the man she was marrying, she took a tentative step toward Lee, waiting for him to meet her halfway. When he did, she reached out to him and he wrapped his arms around her, patting her back gently. “I understand what it feels like to be broken, Lee.”

His voice sounded tearful when he said, “I never would have done those things if—”

“I know,” she said, soothingly. “I know.”

“Just love him, Cassidy. He needs you.”

“I can promise you I will, always.” Cassidy was touched that despite their differences, Lee still seemed so concerned about protecting his brother. It gave her hope that they could restore their relationship.

“I guess it’s almost time,” she said, when she saw Phil hovering outside the door.

She’d asked Phil to walk her down the aisle, knowing there was no one she would rather have by her side. He would be there to support her today the way he had the first day she walked into his office, damaged and confused, with nowhere else to turn.

“I guess I’ll see you downstairs,” Lee said.

When he stepped away, Cassidy grabbed his hand. “Don’t give up on Drake. Whether you realize it or not, he needs you too.”

A shaky laugh slipped from his lips. “I don’t know about that, but I’m not going to give up on him, no matter what.”

Phil and Lee shook hands as they walked past. Phil understood better than most the journey Lee had travelled to find the essence of who he was.

When they were alone, Phil looked at Cassidy, a slow smile spreading across his face. “You look so beautiful, so happy.”

“I am.” Cassidy knew her make-up was at risk again, but she didn’t care. Phil deserved to know that if not for him, she wouldn’t be standing here, getting ready to marry the man of her dreams. “Thanks to you.”

As he so often did, Phil deflected the compliment. “You did all the work. I just helped to guide you.”

“You did so much more than that.” Warmth radiated through her when she thought about the lengths this man had gone to just to help her learn how to be the person she longed to be. He believed in her long before she learned to believe in herself, and she knew she would be forever indebted to him for that. “You changed my life, Phil. You and Susan took me in and treated me like family when I had nowhere else to go. You made me believe that I was worthy, worth the effort you knew it would take for me to get my life back on track.”

“It looks like we were right,” Phil said, chuckling softly. “Look at you now,” he said, gesturing to her.

“This is just the packaging,” Cassidy said quietly. “I’m talking about the person I am on the inside now. I could never have become this strong or self-assured without you guys.”

“Yes, you could have,” Phil said, smiling when she looked skeptical. “It may have taken you a little longer, but the will to fight was always there. You weren’t going to let the drugs beat you, Cassidy. I knew that the first time I met you.”

Cassidy reached out to him at the same time he stepped forward. He hugged her with the affection that always made her wish she’d had an older brother to watch her back. Now she had so many people who loved her and looked out for her. Sometimes it didn’t seem possible that this was her life.