Stone Heart (25 page)

"You're the most courageous person I've ever met. You've come to this place and touched us all. If you're an example of what's in the outside world, then there's hope for the Order to continue. And when I look into your eyes, I see such
goodness
." He placed both of his hands on her shoulders. "I want to be with you, Karen."

"You feel pity, that's all. There isn't really much about me that could attract someone like you. Fairy women are the loveliest I've ever seen, and you could choose any of them."

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He shook his head. "Karen, there are other, more important things to attract a man besides the purely physical aspects."

She grinned. "If it's my
mind
you're after, why do you want to go into the woods?"

"Because, dammit! Someone needs to hold you and whisper things that you deserve to hear. No matter what else is wrong in your life, Karen, you're a desirable woman and deserve to be treated as such. And I'd be gentle with you.

Very gentle."

She looked at him sadly. Even if her health would allow it, her soul wouldn't. It belonged to someone else. "I'm sorry, Wade, but I can't. And you'll never know how difficult it is for me to say so. I've always dreamed of having someone care for me in that way."

"Then why not come with me?" he pleaded.

"I just can't."

He regarded her in silence, then nodded as if he understood. "It's MacGregor, isn't it? You're in love with the man, and he's too full of his own problems to see it. He can tend to his desires and needs, but not yours."

"Don't say that about him, Wade. He and I have never had that kind of relationship."

"That's because the man is so self-involved." The volume of Wade's voice rose in proportion to his anger. "He pities himself because he's losing you, but he can't bring himself to make use of the time you have left. Time to give you some measure of happiness. I've seen only sorrow in his eyes when he looks at you, heard it in his voice when he says your 221

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name. He should be feeling joy in knowing you, in having you in his life, and celebrating the fact. If I were him, I'd spend every moment I could with you. I'd bring you the joy you deserve and have no regrets in doing so. But that's all MacGregor
will
have. In the months to come, he'll wonder what else he might have done. And he'll regret a lot."

"I'm already regretting much, Fairy!" Angus had been careful not to reveal his presence to the perceptive Fairy. And he had heard enough to know that the man would never touch Karen. It was not his right. Karen should only be with
him
. No one else. Not now, not
ever
. And if loving was what she needed,
he
would be the one to hold her to his breast.

Not some young, overzealous Fairy without the patience it would take to give her the experience she deserved.

At the sound of Angus' deep voice, Karen and Wade stood in unison and turned. Angus stood behind them, tall as a castle parapet. His face was a solemn mask. Wade was the first to regain his composure. Karen watched the Fairy's expression grow dark with anger as he looked Angus up and down.

"Since you've probably overheard what was said, I won't repeat it. But I will say this, MacGregor. Karen should come first and last in your life. You haven't a clue as to what she has given up for you. She'll never see her homeland or her friends again. She's working her bum off to make the world a little safer for us, and you walk about giving her nothing but more grief!"

"Wade, stop it!" Karen cried, placing her hand on the Fairy's arm.

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Angus raised his hand. "No, lass. Let him finish. He has a right to speak his mind."

"And I intend to." Wade walked forward. "She should know what it is to be cared for.
Really
cared for. She's too precious to be someone's pitied afterthought!"

Wade turned and walked back to where Karen stood. He gently tilted her head up and placed a gentle kiss on her mouth. "The offer will always stand, Karen. There are wonderful, joyous things in these woods. Things I could show you without worrying over the future.
That
can't be changed, but the present can."

"She will no' go with you," Angus said and glared at him.

He pointed at Karen. "She is a woman and she needs a man.

No' a boy. Now, leave us before I forget that you're half my size and that I am trying to get over a verra' violent past."

Wade turned and walked away without so much as a backward glance in Angus' direction, and Karen swallowed hard. "Angus, don't be angry with him. He didn't know I asked you to stay away so I could finish my work."

"And have you?"

She noted the very low tone of his voice. "Yes. I've done everything I can with the computers. I finished a few hours ago. Please don't be angry with Wade," she repeated. "For some silly reason, he thinks he cares about me. Other than the few times I've seen him around the castle and that time we met at the clearing, the man doesn't even know me."

Angus walked slowly toward her. "He does know you. The part that really matters."

"What do you mean?"

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"I am saying that the man is right. I have been more concerned over my future loss of you than what the present holds. You are still here, still vital and caring. And, if now is all we have, now is what we should take."

"W-what are you saying?" she asked and heard her own voice break. She knew exactly what he was saying.

He cupped her face with his hands. "I'm asking you to come into the woods wi'
me
tonight, lass."

She swallowed very hard and tried to stop the tears from welling in her eyes. "I d-don't want your pity, Angus. Not yours, Wade's or anyone else's. Besides, it would hurt Amber."

"'Tis no' pity, my sweet. And what has Amber to do with this?"

Karen had to draw in a long breath before she could speak.

"You're only asking me to go with you out of gratitude.

Because I helped you. And I saw you and Amber walk in the woods together. If you're becoming involved with her, I don't want to spoil that relationship."

Angus tilted his head. "I dunna' know what you saw, but sometimes a man and a woman only walk in the woods. Walk and
talk
."

"Are you saying that you and she didn't have sex?" Karen looked up into his dark eyes.

"Since being cursed, I have no' touched a woman in that way, lass. But tisna' for lack of wanting to. I have needed you and only you. But several times you did put me off when I would have taken you. Part of my reluctance to push the matter was as the Fairy said. I dinna' want to hurt you. Part 224

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of it was because I wanted to know you really wanted
me.

That you dinna' hate me because of what I was in another life."

Karen was flabbergasted. Two godlike men were proclaiming to want her in the same day. One of whom had her heart. "Then you and Amber aren't..."

He slowly shook his head. "Amber is a friend only." He stepped closer. "It was you we spoke of when we went in the woods. She said things much like what that Fairy did say.

That I should care for you here and now. And that I should let
you
decide what is to be between us. So, I am asking, lass.

Will you walk wi' me tonight?"

"And this isn't out of gratitude?"

"No. While I
am
grateful to you, there is so much more. So much that I would say to you while the moon shines upon us." He knelt before her and took her hands in his. "Please, my lady. Come into the woods with me. And I dunna' mean only to
talk
."

All she could do was nod. But sudden thoughts of his life after her death made her speak about the inevitable situation.

She'd tried to put this off, but it couldn't be ignored any longer. "Having sex could kill me, Angus. I think you've always known that. If nothing else, the way I look should tell you I haven't got long and that any physical activity of the kind we're talking about might push me too far. But I want to be with you more than I've ever wanted anything in my life.

So, whatever happens, I want you to remember this is my choice. You're not to blame yourself if I'm ill. I want it to be the happiest experience for both of us. Almost every situation 225

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we've been through together has been filled with joy and wonder. However long I have, I'll always be overwhelmed with happiness to have known you. Will you remember that?

Will you remember the laughter and the fun things that happened to us? Will you go on and live happily for me, no matter what happens tonight?" she insistently asked. "If you can do that, I'll gladly go with you."

Determined not to let his sorrow show, Angus nodded, smiled up at her and pulled her into his embrace.

Karen knew if she did die tonight, it would be the happiest ending she could have ever wished for.

Angus slowly stood. "I will see you later, sweet lass. For now, I must find a spot for us that will be perfect." He kissed her and made it slow, long and hot. He wanted to wipe away all trace of the Fairy's touch from her lips. And to show her what it would be like with a man who really wanted her. But he was unprepared for the impact that kiss had on his own body. Angus wasn't ready for her soft, hot-blooded response.

Before he lost control, he moaned and pulled away. Then he turned back and smiled at her. His heart knew the truth of it.

He wanted this sweet woman more than life itself. It took everything in him to leave. "Until later, my heart."

Karen lips trembled as she smiled at his retreating form.

She damn well wanted this night. She just hoped and prayed that Angus had asked her to be with him because she was special and not because she was sick and he felt some kind of obligation. That would hurt far worse than saying no to him.

But she'd find out what his real reason was, because tonight was
hers
. Karen vowed to make it the best experience of her 226

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life and the most unforgettable of Angus'. "Whatever it takes.

Heart, don't fail me now," she muttered to herself. She suddenly broke into a grin. For someone with no time left, this was a magic place where a few last wishes could be fulfilled.

* * * *

"No good will come of this, Goblin," she croaked.

"But it doesn't seem to bother you enough to refuse the money, does it?"

The old woman stooped over her boiling plants and sniffed loudly. "Shayla and her people don't give me enough pension to buy my ingredients any more. She says we all have to cut back, and that I can make better potions with forest herbs.

But there are some things, like what I'm making for you, that can't be made from normal ingredients. Concoctions that are thousands of years old and that only I know how to make. It takes a skilled artist to mix herbs just so. The Sorceress doesn't appreciate me enough and never has." She stirred the mixture again and watched it turn green. "Besides, if I don't give you what you want, you'll go somewhere else to get it.

Am I right?"

"You
are
," Roland admitted.

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"Then it's just as well that I sell this to you and get from it what I can. Besides, it's really none of my business what you do with the stuff."

Roland grinned. "Right again, old woman. It isn't." He watched as the crone dripped some of her brew onto the ground. It sizzled and popped as she did so.

"It's ready, young pup. But remember, you didn't get it from
me.
Is that clear?"

He raised his hands up in agreement. "Absolutely!"

"Because if I thought Shayla would find out I'd been brewing such things ... Well, let's just say there are many ways to get into a man's house. Things I could easily put into his food or drink. Or in the very clothes he wears." She paused and waited for her message to sink in. When he didn't respond, she turned away from her brew and toward him. "Do you understand my meaning, Goblin?"

Roland's eye narrowed as he gazed at the older woman.

"
Perfectly
."

"Good." She picked up a green bottle, ladled some of the fluid into it, then poured the rest onto the ground. "Here is what you wanted."

"And this
will
work? You're sure?" he asked as he gazed at the bottle.

"It'll work. There's nothing on Earth like it." She pulled the bottle out of his reach when he would have taken it. "I'll have my payment, first."

"All right, you old crone. Here's your payment," Roland sneered as he pulled out a hunting knife and plunged it deep into the woman's breast. He watched as she choked on her 228

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own blood. Her eyes rolled back in her head and she fell, lifeless, to the ground. "There'll never,
ever
be anything like it on Earth again. And no damned cure, either."

He looked around the small clearing, threw the body over his shoulder and made his way deep into the part of the forest where the bogs oozed. The fog which hung over them would hide his presence. The thick mist and the bog would hide a body forever.

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Chapter Eleven

Karen thought the anticipation would keep her from resting properly, but she knew it was necessary if they were to continue with their planned tryst. Sleep, however, finally came. The pain in her arm subsided, but hadn't entirely gone away. Her energy was failing, and she couldn't lose the sense of impending doom. And yet, she wanted so terribly to be with Angus. To be treated like a desirable woman and not an invalid. To that extent, Karen was willing to risk anything. As she'd thought so many times before, there was no way to stop what was happening to her. Whether in a sick bed days from now or in Angus' arms, the end would come. Much better to be with Angus, being made love to and happy.