Stuff (The Bristol Collection) (37 page)

“About Bernarde, or about the perfume?”

Perry folded his arms. “First one, then the other.”

“Bernarde and me, it was never anything serious. Just a bit of fun on slow days. He’s really not my type.”

“So you’ll quite happily throw yourself at any man, no matter whether they’re your type or not? You realise how that makes me feel? I thought we had something special, but now I find out I’m just the latest in a long line of men you’ve seduced.”

“You
are
special!” Mas’s voice had a pleading tone Perry had never heard in it before, but the chunk of rusty metal currently impersonating Perry’s heart was impervious to such manipulative ways. “Please, you have to believe me! I haven’t even looked at anyone else since we’ve been together. You’re different, and I really, really want to make this work. Blokes like Grant and Bernarde, and even Jasper—they’re nothing compared to what I feel for you. You just have to smile at me, and I go all melty inside.”

The words stung because just half an hour before, Perry could have said exactly the same thing about Mas’s smiles, but now he knew he’d never experience that delicious feeling again. Because it wasn’t just the other men. It was something far more terrible. Mas’s complete lack of moral fibre. “And what about the theft?”

Mas worried his lower lip with his teeth. “It’s not how it looks, honest. I was absolutely broke and owing loads of money, and I’d just lost my job. I only took a few bottles. Can’t have been more than a few hundred quid’s worth, no matter what Walter says, and I’d have got a lot less than that for them on the black market. But I never even took them off the premises in the end, so Walter hasn’t got a legal leg to stand on if he wants to press charges. It ain’t shoplifting if it never leaves the premises.”

Perry felt like someone had hollowed out his insides. “So you’re not denying you’re a thief.”

“No! I’ve never stolen anything before. Well, maybe a few chocolate bars and stuff like that when I was younger, but everyone was doing it then. I was just caving in to peer pressure.”

“You’re a bloody thief! You know how I feel about people taking things that aren’t theirs.” People like his father, who was out to commandeer everything Perry had ever cared about. And people like that Grant fellow, who took hold of Mas like he owned him. Perry’s heart clenched painfully. He might not be well versed in gay culture, but he could see what a catch Mas was, and he wouldn’t be able to warn off every future rival with a well-aimed glass of Prosecco. What if Mas decided Perry wasn’t man enough for him?

Hot on the heels of that unwelcome thought, came another, darker one. “Dear God, that money that went missing from the till. That wasn’t you, was it?” Perry’s knees buckled and he grabbed the baluster for support.

Mas was staring up at him, stricken, and it was almost enough to make Perry unbend and embrace him, but he was too tightly wound.

“You really think I could… I don’t fucking believe it. Perry, please… It was only a bag and a few bottles of perfume. Don’t be like this.”

“I’m not being
like
anything. I just need a few minutes.”

Mas moved hesitantly, like he was about to hug Perry. “Alone,” he said, louder than he’d meant to.

Mas bit his lower lip—possibly to stop it wobbling—and his eyes gleamed with unshed tears. “Okay, I’d better just… You know. One of us needs to be out there, working the room.” He gave a feeble attempt at a smile and rushed back out of the door.

Bloody hell. Perry had been expecting histrionics and forceful denials, but instead Mas had acted with wounded dignity. Perry leaned back against the wall and attempted to slow down his breathing. How did one deal with a situation like this, when the one meant to be teaching you how to run a relationship was the one you couldn’t cope with talking to right now?

Perry walked up the stairs automatically, passing his workshop door and carrying on to the next floor. There was only one place he wanted to be when things felt this bad. The nursery room. More specifically, the bed where Aunt Betty used to cuddle him tight after he woke screaming in the middle of the night. He left a trail of open doors behind him, too dejected to bother locking them again.

The bed was so short his feet hung off the end, and the sheets held a faint niff of damp, but it was still the same bed, and if he closed his eyes and really concentrated, he could just call up the memory of Aunt Betty’s arms around him, her heartbeat sounding as fierce as conga drums as she drove the demons of his imagination away.

Would her memory be able to work the same magic on the monstrous thought that Mas might have stolen from him?

He was no nearer an answer when footsteps sounded a few minutes later.

“Perry? Are you there?”

Jasper. It sounded like he was just outside the door. “I’m in here.”

Jasper flicked on the lightswitch and stood blinking. He cast his gaze around the room, but if he was taken aback by the contents, he kept it to himself. “What’s up with Mas? He’s putting on a brave face, but I can tell when he’s upset. All he’d say is that you needed some time alone.”

Time which you wouldn’t let me have
, Perry wanted to say, but held back. Jasper had been nothing but good to them both. And besides, maybe here was someone who could help him figure things out. Perry sat up and tried to explain. “I needed to think things through, but it’s not going all that well.”

“Is this about Mas’s ex, Mr. Married?” He spat the name out like he felt the same way as Perry.

“Yes, sort of. It’s funny. I’ve never felt jealous about you and Mas having a history, or about the chaps he was dancing with at OMG, but that man, he made my blood boil.”

“You and me both. It drives me crazy the way Mas lets men like that use him. He should have a bit more self-respect.”

“Instead of hanging around with reclusive eccentrics like me?”

Jasper gave a lopsided grin. “I’ve got nothing against reclusive eccentrics. Been there myself. Still would be if I didn’t have Lewis dragging me out places. Even had a room a bit like this one, although it was too blocked up with books to get inside. And besides, you’re good for Mas, anyone can see that. And you love him, I know you do, so why exactly is he wandering around out there like a lamb being led to the slaughter? This is his big party. He should be having the time of his life.”

“I know. I want him to. He just took me off guard. Told me about some stuff he used to get up to. And not that long ago either, and he knows how I feel about people taking things that aren’t theirs.”

“Ohhh.” A look of understanding dawned on Jasper’s face. “Is this about the bungled shoplifting attempt?”

“Exactly! How am I meant to trust a man who just ups and steals things when the going gets rough? What if he does the same here? I was going to sign over half of the business to him, but now I just don’t know. What if he’s been embezzling money?”

“Oh please. Mas is about the most inept shoplifter ever. He’s hardly a criminal mastermind. And besides, all this happened before you even met, didn’t it? He hasn’t been taking anything while he’s been here, I’m certain of it. He might not be perfect, and I know he’s sometimes economical with the truth, but there’s never any malicious intent behind it. He’d no sooner steal from you than he would murder a puppy. It’s just not the way he is.”

Jasper’s words sliced deep into the ball of rage Perry had been carrying inside him, and it deflated like a balloon. Worse yet, Jasper delivered his speech with a glare that made Perry want to melt with shame for having so little faith in the man he loved. Who was to say Perry wouldn’t have done something similar if he’d been in that situation, without the backup of a rich family to run to when times were hard?

“I’ve been a self-righteous idiot, haven’t I?” he mumbled.

“You said it, not me.”

“And I’m going to have to put it right.”

“You want suggestions?”

Perry thought for a moment. “No. I’m going to do this my way, and I’ve got just the idea.”

Chapter Forty

Putting on a public face when your heart was breaking was the toughest job in the world, but Mas was up to it. Or at least, he liked to think he was, but Jasper had seen right through him like he was a fucking windowpane and headed off looking more angry than Mas had ever seen him. To make matters worse, Layna was singing “Ev’ry Time We Say Goodbye”, which was just a bit too bloody close for comfort. Mas had definitely slipped from major to minor, and besides, what if this was the final good-bye? But the posh bird he was chatting to now didn’t seem to notice anything was the matter, or if she did she was far too polite to mention it.

Perry was far too polite too, and that was how Mas knew this was serious shit. Possibly breaking-up-over level of serious shit, because if someone as reserved as Perry looked pissed off and needed time to think, then that probably translated as
get out of my life, I never want to see you again
in most people’s vocabulary.

Mas was still making automatic small talk, his mind not engaged, when people around him quietened down, heads turning towards the counter. Belatedly, Mas realised Layna was no longer singing, and when he turned to see what all the fuss was about, there was Perry standing on the makeshift stage and clearing his throat.

He looked horribly exposed and vulnerable there. How could a man like him cope with being on display like that? Unless he was so bleedin’ furious with Mas, he just didn’t care anymore.

Mas watched in trepidation as Perry tapped the mic. “Is this thing on? Can you hear me at the back?” His voice was so loud it was totally distorted, and Layna stepped up to say something into his ear. Perry resumed talking at a more normal volume. “Oh, of course. My apologies, ladies and gentlemen. I’m not used to public speaking, so no doubt you’ll be pleased to hear I’ll be keeping it brief. In fact, if I stick to the words on these cards, it could all be over in less than a minute. Introduction, history, thank-yous and unveiling.” He threw each card on the floor as he read the word on it. “There we go. Not even ten seconds, I think.”

There was a rumble of laughter and scattered applause, and Perry’s shoulders relaxed. Despite his upset at the way Perry had treated him, Mas was glad he wasn’t making a tit of himself. Who’d have thought he’d have it in him to crack a halfway decent joke?

Perry looked up and searched the room with his eyes. Eventually he located Mas and then wouldn’t look away. Mas stared back, gulping around the lump in his throat. What would come next? If Perry said anything to hurt his feelings in front of everyone, he didn’t think he’d ever be able to forgive him.

But when Perry began talking again, his voice was gentle. “I’ve thrown away the cards because I need to say something more important than what I’d planned, and it’s to one person here. Tobias Maslin, the man who’s singlehandedly responsible for this wonderful party, and for Cabbages and Kinks being the kind of place you’d actually want to come and spend time in. I’m not exaggerating. Before Mas walked into my life, I was depressed, and the shop showed it. It was dark and cluttered, and I was lonely. Then Mas came in one day and wouldn’t stop talking and flirting, and at first I didn’t know how to respond, but when he left… Well, I missed him.”

The lump in Mas’s throat dissolved, and a fluttering started up in his chest, like a bird trapped in there wanting to break free. He began moving forwards through the people, muttering apologies for the toes he trod on.

And all the time Perry held his gaze.

“Ladies and gentlemen, I’ve never been a risk taker, and if it wasn’t for Mas, I’d still be languishing in that dingy old shop and going upstairs to an empty flat the end of the day. But I decided to take a risk in employing him, and in becoming his friend, and then…” Perry blushed, and his Adam’s apple bobbed. “Then more than a friend. He’s been a constant inspiration to me in my life and in my art. And so, Mas, I wanted to give you something. It’s not much compared to everything you’ve given me, but I made it with love.” Perry rushed the last few words and flushed even redder before gesturing frantically. Mas thought he was beckoning, but when he finally made it to the front of the crowd, he could see Jasper and Lewis crouched on the floor, holding the bottom of the tarp covering the statue.

Of course, his
surprise
. With everything that had been going on, Mas had clean forgotten about it.

Perry held out both hands, and Mas let himself be pulled up onto the low stage. They stood opposite each other, and for once in his life, Mas was actually tongue-tied. Having an audience was never normally a problem, but he really didn’t want to share the mushy way he was feeling with a bunch of random strangers and customers. Finally Perry cracked a wobbly smile. “I’m so sorry about earlier,” Perry said, and hopefully it was too quiet for the mic to pick up.

Oh, who gave a fuck about the audience? Mas hugged Perry tight, and as the party-goers broke into scattered applause, he spoke into Perry’s ear. “Me too. Should have told you about all that ages ago, but I wasn’t exactly proud of myself. Didn’t want you to think I was some thieving whore.”

“I’d never think that,” Perry said, and it felt like he was trying to squeeze the proof into Mas. Bloody hell, he was going to run out of air at this rate, but it would be a lovely way to die.

“This is all very sweet watching you two canoodling,” Lewis interrupted, “but are you ready for this yet?”