Stuff (The Bristol Collection) (33 page)

Did this mean if Mas carried on hanging out with Perry, he’d turn all posh? Mas munched his cornflakes and pondered whether or not that would bother him. If it meant he got to wear braces every day, then he could live with it.

Mas got Jasper to drop him off down by the Bear Pit roundabout and walked the rest of the way to the shop. At this time on a Monday morning, the busy junction was still quiet, and the streets of Stokes Croft looked strangely naked without the teeming hordes of shoppers, locals and cyclists. Was there anything more melancholy than a tattered nightclub flyer blowing down a deserted street? Perhaps the inside of Mas’s heart.

Fuck it. He wanted things to be right with Perry. He’d crawl if he had to to get back into Perry’s good graces.

Mas let himself in through the back door, intending to start quietly working on the window displays, but when he reached the boudoir room, there Perry was. Mas’s heart leapt up and attempted to bully his brain into launching a hug attack, but he resisted.

Perry was just standing there, hands by his sides, looking…gutted was what Mas wanted to read into his expression, but perhaps he was getting his hopes up too high. Perhaps Perry wasn’t pining for him at all. Maybe what Perry really wanted was to end the relationship, and that was why he looked wary and sad.

“Mas, I… I need to apologise. I acted like a complete and utter twat, and I’m sorry.”

“Sorry for what?”

“For saying you weren’t trustworthy, and for turning you away. I haven’t had a wink of sleep all night. My bed felt empty without you there. Can you forgive me, please?” Perry looked utterly forlorn, and Mas’s heart pummelled on his brain again.

So yeah, it wasn’t quite the declaration of undying love Mas was after, but it would do. He aimed himself at Perry and hugged him tight, getting a surprised
oof!
for his troubles. But then Perry’s arms wrapped around him too, and everything was all right with the world. “’Course I forgive you, you stupid bastard. Just don’t do it again, yeah? Promise me.”

“I promise,” Perry said, his voice muffled by the way he kept kissing Mas’s hair. “Do we have to start work right now?”

“Got any better ideas?”

“Oh yes.” Perry ground his hips against Mas, and his hard-on felt like it was trying to drill through Mas’s pelvis and get all cosy with his bum.

Mas pretended not to notice and leaned back to look up at Perry. “Care to share?”

Perry blushed as scarlet as the hankie poking out of his jacket pocket, but set his jaw determinedly. “I want to take you upstairs and make love to you.”

“Make love? You sure?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

“I’m just saying…” Oh shit. Could he really lay it all out for Perry? Mas steeled himself for possible rejection and/or humiliation. “Look, if you promise to make love rather than fuck me, all I’m saying is you’d better be able to back it up with the right feeling. No good saying something like that if you still just see me as someone to get your rocks off with. I just… Fuck it!” Anger at all the lovers who’d made empty promises burned through his veins. “I’ve had it with blokes who say they love me when really they’re just looking to get into my pants. I mean, fuck’s sake, I’ll put out without all that. I never claimed I wasn’t an easy lay. Just don’t want to be lied to, you know. I want the real deal.”

Perry nodded solemnly. “I don’t want to lie to you, but I’ve never fallen in love before, so I’m not sure how one tells if it’s the real deal.”

“Why don’t you start with telling me how you feel about me?”

That must have been a difficult one, as Perry screwed his forehead up. Mas was about to say
forget it
and just get back to the smexing—love be damned—but then Perry spoke. “I think about you all the time. Things you’ve said or things I want to tell you. I think you’re smart and funny, and I love the way you move and the way you make friends with strangers. I love the way you can’t seem to stop talking, and most of all, I love the way you smile at me.”

Mas grinned. “I reckon that’s a bloody good start.”

“Is that what love is?”

“I reckon it might be, for you.”

“Is that what you feel about me?”

Oh, difficult question. Was he ready to reveal all? Mas was about to brush it off lightly and change the subject, but he couldn’t ignore the heartfelt plea in Perry’s eyes. Bugger. “I think you hung the fucking moon. And even though you’re one-hundred percent wrong for me, or I’m wrong for you, whatever,” he hastily added when it looked like Perry was about to butt in with a denial, “Yeah, even though we’re probably completely unsuitable, I don’t care about any of that shit, because I want to shack up with you and have your babies.” Fuck oh fuck. Why did he say that? Blokes always got freaked when he said that.

“Umm, are you talking about adoption or finding a surrogate?”

Mas stared, dumbfounded. Perry hadn’t run away when he brought up the B-word. “It was just a figure of speech,” he said, but it didn’t sound all that convincing even to him.

“Oh. Okay. That’s probably good, because I’m not sure I’m ready for either just yet, but I think you’d have beautiful children. I mean, how could they not be, with you for a father?”

Mas stared some more, tears forming in his eyes. Then he tackle-hugged Perry again. “How can you say shit like that and not expect me to fall head over heels for you? God, I’m so fucking gone. You can totally make me your bitch, and I’ll do anything for you, you know that?”

“So are you saying you love me?”

“Duh! Earth to Perry? Yes of course I fucking well love you. Have done for bleedin’ ages. Did you really not notice? Christ, you really are bad at this relationship shit, aren’t you? You need someone to coach you or something. Lewis would probably be willing to do it for nothing.”

“I’d rather you did it.”

“You want me to teach you all about how to be the perfect boyfriend?”

“If you think you’re up for the job.”

“Oh baby, I am totally up for it.” Mas ground his hips shamelessly into Perry’s, his flagging erection getting a new surge of blood. “Why don’t you take me upstairs, and I can teach you all about how to make up after an argument?”

Perry nodded, a mock serious expression on his face as he ground his hips back. “That sounds like a perfect first lesson. Thank you.”

“I’ll be the one thanking you in half an hour, believe me.”

That cute little shy smile lit up Perry’s face. “I’ll do my best to be a model student.”

Mas just had to hope Perry still wanted him around when he’d learnt about relationships and how Mas had fucked up all his previous ones by being a needy little drama queen. But he kept that to himself, pinched Perry’s bum and kissed him hard enough to convince them both it was all going to work out okay in the end.

Chapter Thirty-Six

As the day of the official Cabbages and Kinks launch grew ever closer, Perry did his best to hide his nerves from Mas. The poor chap had enough to worry about what with organising the catering, publicity and a crazy exterior repainting spree. Perry had tried to help out, but after a few near arguments had realised that perhaps he was a hindrance rather than a help. Making up after an argument was fun, but it took time. Time they couldn’t really afford right now.

Every night that week, Mas had stayed up working, not falling into bed until late. Every evening, Perry made sure he took down a proper meal for Mas to eat, but otherwise stayed out his way and worked on his own project for the launch. Mas didn’t seem to have the energy for the unbridled passion of their nights together over the last few months, and Perry could only hope it was a temporary phase. Or was this what happened to relationships over time? The passion fizzled out, to be replaced by a kind of cosy but sexless companionship.

It seemed an awful shame if that was the case, because the longer it went on, the more Perry desired Mas. Not that he’d be so inconsiderate as to push for intimacy when Mas was clearly so exhausted. On Thursday night, Perry waited up, planning to just hold Mas tight as they fell asleep. But after dozing in bed for a while, he realised it was past midnight and Mas still wasn’t there.

“This is ridiculous,” he announced to the empty room before setting off downstairs in his pyjamas. He was going to have words with Mas about the dangers of overwork.

The sharp lecture died in his throat when he saw Mas, though. He was slumped over the counter, his phone nudging his cheek, softly snoring. Despite the dark rings under his eyes, the scruff growing through on his jaw and the wan complexion, Perry just wanted him even more. And it wasn’t just lustful urges. He wanted to wrap Mas up and protect him from the world.

He stroked Mas’s cheek gently until his eyes flickered open.

“Hey, it’s time for bed.”

Mas yawned and stretched. “Just got a few more phone calls to make.”

“No, you haven’t. It’s past twelve. No one will want a call at this time of night.”

“Fuck. Is it really that late? There’s still so much to do!”

“Nothing that can’t wait till the morning. Come on. You need your sleep.”

“But the party starts in less than eighteen hours. I can’t afford to spend any time sleeping!”

“You can, and you will. I’ll help you tomorrow. Don’t you worry, everything that needs to happen will happen, and you’ll be a better host if you get some sleep. You’re looking shattered.”

“I look bad?” Mas twisted round and peered in the mirror behind the till. “Oh fuck, I really do.”

“Nothing a bit of sleep won’t cure.”

“But I’ll never sleep. I’ve got too much on my mind.”

“I’ll help you. Come on.”

Mas looked like he was going to resist, but then he took Perry’s hand and let himself be led up the stairs. He didn’t complain when Perry ordered him to brush his teeth, then began stripping him afterwards, and went to the bed when he was steered in that direction. He flopped onto his back and stared up at Perry, eyes wide and worried. “What if it all goes wrong? I haven’t got the posh genes. What if they all think I’m a little oik and my canapes are cheap and nasty rather than charmingly retro?”

“You’ve got no control over any of that. Just let it go.”

“That’s easy for you to say.”

“Hush. Just roll over.”

“Why? I’m not really in the mood to be fucked. I mean, you can have a go if you want, but I reckon it’ll be like doing a corpse or something. I don’t have the energy to move.”

He still had the energy to move his jaw, though. Something Perry was determined to fix. In the end, he simply rolled Mas over, straddled him and began to rub the muscles of his upper back. He didn’t know exactly what he was doing or how hard to press, but he knew what felt good to him when Cherise had occasionally massaged his back. Working out how to provide that from the other side was a bit of a challenge, though. He found what felt like a hard lump under Mas’s skin and pressed it.

Mas yelped and arched his back.

Perry halted. “Sorry, I’m so sorry.” He turned his strokes feather-light and pressed a kiss to the nape of Mas’s neck. Mas groaned.

“Fucking hell. You ever given a massage before?”

“Is it that obvious?”

“Nah, you’re doing all right. Just be gentle with the knotty bits.” Mas slumped back down, his words muffled by the duvet. “And you need to use some oil or lube or something. Helps your hands slip.”

“Oh.” Perry scrabbled in the bedside drawer for the bottle of lube Mas had brought with him. They were running low, but hopefully he wouldn’t need too much. He dribbled it out onto his hand and rubbed them together. This time his massage strokes were much smoother, and he deliberately kept the pressure lighter until Mas moaned with what sounded like pleasure rather than pain. That was a result. Perry smiled to himself. Yes, he could get the knack of this.

“Mmmm…firmer.” Mas’s words were slurry with contentment, and Perry did his best to oblige. He liked the ends of his strokes best, where he got to work his hands over Mas’s plump buttocks. He decided to concentrate on there for a bit, kneading Mas’s glutes and enjoying the smooth warmth of his skin. Funny to think that just a couple of months before, he’d never considered another man’s rear as erotic, yet now a mere glimpse of Mas bending over in a pair of well-tailored trousers was enough to make him aroused. Doing this had made him as stiff as a board. Surely Mas must be able to feel the weight of Perry’s erection digging into his thighs?

He bit back a moan when Mas undulated and sighed. It wouldn’t be fair to press himself on Mas when he was so exhausted and sleep deprived, but he wanted him so badly.

He must have slowed down or given something of his turmoil away in his hands, though, because Mas lifted himself onto his elbows and turned his head. “You can wank over me if you want to. Not up to much else.”

“I couldn’t.” That was too degrading, surely?

“I’d like you to.”

“But what about you?”

Mas yawned. “I’d love to come too, but I’m too knackered to move. Just wipe me up after and let me sleep. I’ll be fine.”

But it wasn’t fine for Perry. If he got to come, it was only fair Mas did too. He rolled Mas over again, getting a sleepily raised eyebrow for his efforts. He looked down. Aha! Mas was definitely showing signs of interest. “You’re into this too.”