Subfrenzy (the Subfrenzied Series) (10 page)

There
was a tingling sensation on the right side of my ass after I heard the '
Smack
!,' heat rising under my skin as the next eight fell. I jumped from the louder noises, but always more from shock than pain. No longer caring that he was spanking me, I fought to relax so I wouldn't break position. I wanted to feel the pain. The back of my thighs felt warm, my ass hot. Each new hit felt like a rush of pleasure. Some of the smacks hurt more than others, but none of them reached the borders to my pain threshold.

Happiness burned when the pain he gave me continued to feel like pleasure. He made it feel good without having it hurt me... and I didn't know how. I'd never experienced taking pain without sinking lower and lower, the ragged darkness rising to take me under. I stayed submissively connected to him, drifting on the trust I was allowing to build.

“Sixty,” I said aloud when he stopped. “Thank you, Sir!”

“
Your ass is so pink... You took that very, very well.”

I
moaned quietly, layers of my defenses stripped away. “I'm happy you think so, Sir.”

“
I don't think so. You did. You've really never had someone do that to you before?”

“
Never, Sir.”

“
That's why I didn't punish you for hesitating. How do you feel?”

“
Really good. Thank you, Sir.” I smiled at him, a mix of submission and masochistic pleasure.

“
How do you feel, physically?”

Doing
a quick mental scan of my body, I was surprised by how normal I felt. “I'm okay, Sir. There's no pain.”

He
gave me a very Dominant look. “None?”

“
Um... not
none,
Sir. I feel a lot calmer. My skin feels really warm, and it tingles a little.”

“
You did say your pain threshold is high.
Sit up. Drink some water. I want to punish- er, give you more pain before I fuck you.”

He wasn't going to punish me
? I relaxed back into submission.
He wasn't going to fake-punish me for wanting more...
I shied away from thoughts of Rhys.

“
Thank you for pain, Sir.”

“
I've been thinking about going to that s/m club with you,” he said, a few minutes later.

“
Rack's
? You have been?”

“
With you, this weekend. They have a pain night, don't they?”

“
Yes...”

“
Want to go with me?”

“
To watch or to participate, Sir?”

“
That depends on how things go. At the very least, you can show me what you like most, things you haven't tried, but want to.”

“
Or you. I want to do things that make you happy, too, you know.”

“
You do.” He looked at me strangely. “You don't know that?”

Awkward
feelings were banished by lust. “I know one way to please you, Sir.”

Quinn
laughed when he saw me look down, then back up at him. “Yes, yes you do, but not yet. Do you want more pain?”

“
Yes please, Sir.”

“
Lay back down, like you were before. Your ass is going to stay red this time.”

“
Thank you, Sir!”

“
No hesitation this time,” he said. “Nothing to punish you for. I'm going to, anyway. Do you know why?”

“
Because you can, Sir?”

Quinn leaned down and kissed the middle of my back. Shivers of pleasure moved over my skin as he reached the side of my neck. He sighed slowly and rested his forehead against the back of my shoulder. “
Yes
, baby. That's exactly why.” 

-
Chapter 9
-

~
Fear of Dying ~
 

A
ll I could remember of the night was pain and pleasure. I didn't feel heavy with the resetting of subfrenzy, as I usually did after a pain session. It was the moment I had dreaded the most, feeling empty, craving another session I wouldn't schedule until the marks went away. I braced, but it didn't hit. Quinn held me closer when I tried to turn onto my back. The rush of submission I felt made me gasp. With five minutes before his alarm would go off, I managed to have him lay on his back. He sleepily moved his hand through my hair as I leaned down to kiss his chest.
So Dominant, while half-asleep...
I smiled, feeling how hard his cock was.
When his alarm went off, he silenced it and had me get on top of him. There was just enough time to shower, change, and get to work before either of us were late.

He
had realized that I needed more than one session to reach my real pain threshold. The prospect pleased him. A lot. I knew if he really wanted to make me safeword, it would only take him a few minutes to have me say it. Perhaps seconds. He was strong, capable of hurting without knowing it. But he knew. The experience he had inflicting pain made me feel safe. Knowing I'd see him after work left me wanting him all day. I hadn't expected to have all three with a Dominant.               And there wasn't any time to think or find rational ground. I was out of work half an hour later than I expected.

'I'm home from work and can leave whenever. I'm sorry I'm 40 minutes late, Sir.'
I messaged him, my hair finally dry.

'It's work. That doesn't count. Wear another outfit like last night, sexy submissive.'

'I am, Sir. Thank you.'

'Park
next to my car when you get here. Call me, I'll come out to meet you.'

Rack's
wasn't open yet, I noticed, driving past. Commission, tips, and pay from the club weren't something I could dismiss so easily. But there was a part of me that didn't like the idea of Quinn knowing I'd be there, submitting to someone else.
If
he was going to be my Dominant. I wanted to know what his reaction to
Rack's
was before I decided anything. Shadows were layering on, what had once been an easy decision.

There
were two spaces open next to Quinn's car. I called and saw the door open a few seconds later. He was able to see me from his doorway. My coat was white, but my corset and skirt were black. Satin garters was smooth against my thighs as I walked over to him.

“
I'm really glad you're free tonight,” he said, meeting me by the walkway.

“
Thanks for having me over again so soon, Sir.”

He
led me inside, taking my coat while I went into his living room. Only one of the lights were on. Bright, white, moonlight streamed through both wide-paneled windows. The sky was changing from deep purple to blue-black, without clouds to hide the vivid colors. It made me feel wickedly submissive, wanting pain and pleasure, and to give him pleasure all at the same time. He stood in the kitchen, watching me in a way I didn't understand. I had started unzipping my corset when he took my wrist and led me into the bedroom.

“
Did I just stop you from getting undressed?”

“
So we could get here faster? Yes, Sir.”

“
No marks from last time?”

“
None, Sir.”

“
You sound disappointed.” Pressure on the underside of my chin had me look up at him. “No red marks, no bruises? What about sensitive places from where I hit too hard?”

“
I've always healed fast. There's nothing that-”              

“
Get on the bed,” he ordered, “I want to make sure.”

Getting
to my hands and knees, I kept my thighs spread slightly with my head lowered. I'd never felt so much power from anyone before. 

“
Are there any positions you want me to learn for you, Sir?”

“
I like seeing what you choose to do. You know some already, I've noticed.”

“
Only a few. I'm sorry if-” I forgot what I was saying when he touched my inner thigh.

“
If I want you in a different position, you'll know.”

I
smiled at the edge of dominance in his voice. “Yes, Sir. Thank you.”

Shivers
ran upward through my leg, soothed when he moved his hand over the back of my thighs. I held my breath as he softly stroked the softer skin behind my knees. There was still a deep, quiet feeling that swept over me when his hand hit the right side of my ass. I focused on pain until the embarrassment went away. He had made me capable of submitting for it, so I did. The way it hurt felt really, really good...

Questions
I'd asked myself finally had answers. Without warmth, or even affection between Rhys and I, there were many times when I forgot he was present. I threw myself into the pain he had given me, fighting myself to take more. When Quinn gave me pain, the darkness that rose became bright, which made me laugh from happiness rather than madness.

“
Clara? Can you speak?”

“
Yes. I'm sorry, Sir. Did you want me to count aloud?”

“
How many times did I hit you?”

“
One hundred and thirty times, Sir.”

“
And that still wasn't enough for you.” He touched me with smooth, firm pressure to ease the stinging sensations away. “Hold your hair up for a second?”

My
breath caught when I felt him wrap his belt around my neck. The leather warmed against my skin, cinching tight before the tension relaxed. His eyes burned with satisfaction as he looked at me.

He had given me a temporary collar?
“Thank you, Sir!”

“
You're welcome, baby.”

My
pain-threshold grew stronger. The smack fell heavily over the left side of my ass. Pain made me laugh. It hurt more than I thought it would. Another made me blink down at the covers. The third... I dug my knees into the bed and laid my palms flat. I melted into the stinging sensations. Several more hits fell before he paused. I followed the waves of pain in my head, distancing myself into calm darkness. My fingers made soft cracking sounds when I returned to reality and released my grip on them.

“
Lean down lower on your arms. Be comfortable if you're not.” His voice was a whisper drifting along my shoulder.

He
cared,
I smiled, swaying slightly.
He had noticed before I did...
My arms ached from holding the position, though I hadn't felt them trembling. H
ard slaps on the outer sides of my thighs made me go still. I gasped as the belt pulled taut around my neck. He used the end to strike my back. Pain levels rose a few degrees. My skin throbbed viciously wherever it struck, unbearably for a few moments when he hit the same place more than once. He used it like a whip, hitting one side of my back, then the other.

Subspace
beckoned, a place where nothing but severe pain reached me. It was different, with him. The darkness didn't pull me under. I floated on the pain, still able to feel him. Quinn seemed calm, but I saw a little of what he kept so controlled. There was passion that made my breath catch, safe aggression that had my body burn for the roughness. He hadn't made it hurt more than I could stand. Yet. My wrists crossed so he could see my hands.

“
Mmm...” he half-growled, half-groaned. “Do you want more pain?”

“
Yes, please, Sir!”

Quinn
went back to using his hand, hitting harder than I thought he would. He didn't stop, continuing to slap the inside of my thighs. I flinched away and forced myself back into position. It became a struggle to keep the pain from overwhelming me again.
Was he trying to make me safeword?
I couldn't yet... He had just started.

“
Breathe. Take a deep breath.” I did as he said. “Another one.”

I
jumped, feeling short smacks that struck underneath my ribs. “I'm sorry, Sir!”

“
Don't be.”

The
pressure against my throat increased as he wrapped his hand around my neck. In a startlingly short amount of time, I couldn't open my eyes or feel parts of my face. My fingers flexed on his wrist, ready to dig in if I felt the lurch before unconsciousness. When his grip eased, I breathed slowly, unprepared when he choked me again. My lungs were straining for oxygen by the time he let go. I saw static when my eyes first opened. The dizziness made me laugh, but I angled myself away from him before I coughed.

“
... incredible.”

I
leaned back against his chest, floating, recovering. The warmth radiating from his body helped me stop shaking. That, and feeling him close his arms around me from behind.

“
My hand prints are already fading from around your neck. That's a really good thing to know. You
don't
bruise easily.”

“
How do you know when to stop so I don't pass out?”

“
I count seconds. Your pulse races when you fight for air. That's when I stop. I really don't want you to pass out.”

I leaned back against him. It was the answer I had hoped to hear from Rhys, not
'You don't want to pass out. It's less fun for me, but you make up for that with pain.'

“
May I-”

“
Not yet. Stay still for a minute.” Quinn slowly massaged both of my shoulders. “Wait. What were you going to ask?”

“
May I take your-”

“
That's what I thought,” he said, putting his hand over my mouth. “Don't tempt me. That you know to ask makes me want to fuck you so hard...”

He had pain feel like pleasure, something I didn't know how to thank him for. It hurt, still hurt, my skin tingling where he had smacked me, but he hadn't turned my submissive side against my masochistic side. I had felt him encouraging me to safeword rather than pushing at me, just to hear it, to know he could... 

When Quinn laid back on the bed, I knelt next to him and kissed his chest. “I'm better. Thank you, Sir.”

“
Really? Already?”

“
Yes, Sir.”

“
Show me.”

I
knelt between his legs and kissed the inside of his thigh. Wetting my tongue, I slowly sucked and licked the soft skin underneath his shaft. Quinn hadn't so much as moved yet. I continued sliding my lips lightly over his shaft. Up, back down, further up, almost reaching the head of his cock, I slid back down on the other side and felt him relax again. I sucked hard, using my lips to stimulate his shaft without very much pressure.

He
curled his fingers in my hair, “Know what happens to submissives who tease?”

I
pulled back to answer, but he repositioned me to thrust toward the back of my throat. Repeatedly. A wave of pleasure made me moan.
He pulled my head back and had me take several deep breaths.

“
I'm really close. Do you know how long it's been since I came this way?”

“
I'm sorry about before, Sir.”

“
I'll punish you for that later.
Did I tell you to stop?”

The
short burst of indignation burned into submission. Dominance wrapped around me and I accepted it, the control I'd let him take, and keep. I kept myself from gagging, high on his aggressive energy. It surprised me when he came, but I swallowed around him and tried to make his orgasm better. When he stopped me, I rested my head on his thigh.

“
You're good with staying overnight?” He squeezed my shoulder, letting me know I could move.

“
Yes, thank you, Sir.” I collapsed in the curve of his body.

“
You gagged less that time. You're already trying, baby?”

“
Of course, Sir. Doesn't it annoy you, having to stop?”

“
It doesn't.” But he looked surprised by the answer. “I like that it's difficult for you.”

I
was immediately alert when he patted the side of my arm. “Do you need something?”

“
I'll get it,” he replied gently. “You need a drink or anything?”

“
I want my cigarettes, anyway...”

“
I don't expect you to wait on me, either. You know that, right?”

“
Yes, I do now.” I smiled at him, feeling very self-conscious again. “I don't feel obligated to. I like doing things like that for you.”

Quinn's
eyes darkened with arousal again as he laid back on the bed. “Bring a lighter back if you're going?”