Subfrenzy (the Subfrenzied Series) (9 page)

“
That's actually really relieving to hear. In more than one way.”

“
It is,” Quinn replied, looking doubtful.

“
I have a slight latex allergy. It's not a bad allergy, or I'd have said something, but-”

“
Are you okay? I've used at least... I'm not sure. More than a couple.”

“
It's not the sexiest before-sex conversation.” I shrugged. “I slept the sensitivity away and there's nothing wrong with me, now.”

“
That's good to hear.”

“
How far do you want the 'no condom' thing to go?”

“
I'm not going to come inside of you. I know birth control tends to work, but, uh-”

His pause and wariness matched mine. “
Not a worry you want right now?”

“
Yes. Thank you.”

“
I can't have that happen, either.”             

“
If you think something's happened, I want to know. That goes for anything, Clara.”

“
I'll let you know, Sir.

“
Do you have all of those limits in your Checklist?”

“
Yes.”

“
Good. Let me get you that laptop.

* * *

“
S
mall problem?” I refreshed the web page three times. “The site won't load. They're probably doing maintenance.”

“
Do you have another Checklist?”

“
Sadly, no. Not here, anyway. There are a few I could print to fill out for you.”

“
Don't worry about it. E-mail it over sometime this week.”

“
So long as you aren't mad.”

“
Again with that,” he said, his eyes sharp. “You said, before, something about me being 'upset' with you. You know I never will be, right?”

“
You never will be, what?”

“
W
e won't be doing anything s/m-wise if I'm mad at you.” He said it so easily, I hid my surprise. “Why do I feel that you expected punishment before? Because the site was down.”

“
I don't know, Sir. Because you could have?”

“
But I wouldn't. That wasn't your fault.” Quinn looked frustrated, but not with me
.
“
When you were younger, did you parents punish you with smacking or spanking?”

“
No. They yelled, though. Most of the time, we gathered around the kitchen table to work things out.”

“
You said you have no other history of abuse?”

“
None. I know the difference between taking pain because my Dominant wants to give it, and being subjected to it by someone.”

He
sat up a little straighter. “What do you consider abusive?”

“
It's any form of pain that I'm
forced
to take. Not the kind I submit for, willingly.”

“
But you would have submitted for punishment, just because the site was down.”

“
Because I feel so submissive to you, I accept that you can punish me as it pleases you. I don't think you're going to
beat me.
You're going to punish me in an s/m way.”

“
Because I'd be mad at you.”

“
Yes.”

“
No.”

“
Why else would you--? I don't understand.”

“
That's not me. It's the source of all this confusion.” He looked visibly more relaxed. “
What does punishment pain mean to you?”

“
Discipline. It's punishment, pain that I shouldn't take pleasure from because I won't let myself. Punishment is given to reprimand, not reward.”

Quinn
looked stunned as he absently stroked my shoulder. “How do you not have a Dominant already?”

“
Don't I, Sir? At least temporarily.” 

“
Yes. Thank you. I'm back on track again. Distinguishing between punishment pain and regular pain, I'm really impressed.”

“
Thank you, Sir.”

“
If you do something that I want to punish you for, I'm not just going to start beating you. You haven't had that happen, have you?”

“
Not like that, but my last Top was more traditional with punishment. I'd take a submissive position and then take harder pain for whatever I did.”

“
Did he give you a chance to explain?”

“
... after. Sometimes.”

“
When that happens with us, you need to know that I'm not actually mad at you.”

“
You won't be at all.” I tried to believe him. “Honestly.”

“
Honestly. I might pretend to be, but I'll never actually be mad at you, and then give you pain.”

“
You pretend really well, don't you.”

“
Do you like it?”

“
Yes. I think so,” I couldn't help smiling at him. “Now that I know you're not actually mad.”

“
You understand now?”

“
Yes, Sir. Thank you again.
”

“
You don't need to thank me for that.”

The
way he looked at me made my body crave pain. I wanted to show my gratitude by taking it for him. Intense hunger had t
he idea spark and roar through my head. Recklessness won. “I've got my Checklist saved in my e-mail. I'll print it for you, if you have a printer?”

“
Print it out, sure. Everything's wireless.”

Not
thinking, I opened the online e-mail's Documents drive. The cover letter to Samuel was there, I'd forgotten. I didn't remember attaching it to the actual document. Quinn averted his eyes and leaned back. Not knowing what else to do, I loaded the Checklist and clicked print. Silence was awkward.

“
I didn't mean to-

“
So, did you see the-” I stopped talking, hearing him.

“
Sorry,” he continued. “That was none of my business.”

“
It's not a definite thing, but I
have
been thinking about taking a part-time job at
Rack's.
”

“
Doing what?”

“
I, um... I'll probably be a bondage model. I was at the club, interviewing with the manager yesterday. Just interviewing. He recruited me to take part in, um, educational public demonstrations. On safe s/m play.”

He snorted quietly, then grinned. “Educational public demonstrations, baby?”

“They would be.”

“
How often would you be working there?”             

“
If there's an upcoming event I can take part in, I'm welcome to. If there are aren't, there's no pressure from anyone to 'play' anyway. Unless I say I'll be there.”

“
Feel no pressure from me, Claire. Let me know when you make up your mind.”

“
Thanks.” I tried to keep the question out of my voice.

“
Come into the office with me? We'll see if your Checklist printed out yet.”

A large, L-shaped desk occupied most of left side. It was the size of two tables, fitting two computer screens, a printer, scanner, his keyboard and a mouse. There were three bookshelves to my right, two of which were completely filled with different color binders and folders. His second desk chair was dark green and soft, in front of a sliding closet door.

“
I still don't know what
you
want as a Dominant.”

“
That's because you have so few limits. Most of them are limits of mine.” He quickly flipped through the pages, then back to to where he had been. “Where's the note for '
Permanent scarring
?'”

“
It basically says- To take pain that severe, I'd really have to trust my Dominant.”

“
You really do like pain,” he said, more calmly than I could make myself speak.

“
Yes, Sir.”

“
When did you realize your reaction to pain was... different?”

“
The one and only time I played baseball
.”

“
Baseball?”

“
There was a nail on the field. When I dove for the ball, part of it slid into the side of my leg. I remember it freaking people out that I didn't react to... anything.”

“
How old were you? How bad was it?”

“
I was fourteen then, I think. The point went through a few layers of skin and out the other side. It wasn't deep into my leg, it was just, kind-of, lodged there for a few seconds.”

“
Like needle-play.”

I winced, thinking about it. “I don't do that. That kind of s/m play scares me a lot.”

“That's what made you notice, huh? That level of pain.”

“
That's the first time I remember thinking, 'Pain doesn't bother me, like it bothers them.'
I learned to say '
ow'
and react the right way.”

“
Don't do that with me. I want to know what your real limit for pain is.”

“
I worried that I was reacting differently because of nerve damage, but I went for tests in college. It's just...” I shrugged.

“
It's just that your pain tolerance is way above average?”

“
I think so. Will you let me know, Sir?”

“
Absolutely.” He went back to the first page. “You mentioned belts before. You don't have any bad experiences with them?”

“
None.”

“
You like them?”

“
For taking pain. For wearing.” I grinned at him. “There's really no bad with belts, Sir.”

I
felt things in my body tighten from the excitement in his eyes. “I'm not going to rush through a first session. Not after you've waited so long. Bondage, however... I can fuck you, tied to my bed, and tell you how you're going to take pain for me next time.”

-
Chapter 8
-
~ Deadly Game ~

H
e barely got through three of the ways before I asked for permission to come. We hadn't even gotten around to using his belt. Belts. I had seen him put two on the bed. Then I was on my knees... the rest of what happened was still blurred when I thought back. We had agreed to meet up from Friday into Saturday. Heavy plans, when I still wasn't sure what he did. A financial adviser. I had no idea what that job title entailed.

As
I had whenever I'd met someone new, and also for the club's records, I made an appointment with my gynecologist. I was positive about good test results, yet sitting in the office, avoiding pamphlets and posters, I felt the worry take hold. It grated at me until after work on Thursday. An e-mail from the doctor's office confirmed that I was clear.

With
the fear banished, I paced around the apartment, wanting to write. But the energy crawling through me was too alive for writing. My body craved sex
and
pain.
Quinn's passion was invigorating. Confounding. He made me
want him
. I had stopped worrying about emotions coming into play, literally, when-- but Quinn wasn't Rhys. At all.
He seemed pleased with how I submitted for him. That our Checklists were so compatible was heartening.

Why
not
call him?             

“
Hey,” he answered on the fourth ring. “What's up, Clara?”

“
I've got good news for you, unless you're busy?”

“
Good news is always welcome.”

“
I had blood tests done. I'm good, just for the record.” His silence made me realize how tactless I'd been. “It seemed like relevant information, I'm sorry I-”

“
That
is
really good news.” It sounded like he laughed, though the sound was muffled. “What are you doing now?”

“
Right now? Nothing much. You?”

“
I want you.”

That
nearly made me moan aloud. “Yes please, Sir.”

“
I'm coming to get you. Bring clothes for work, or I can bring you back later.”

“
What do you want me to wear?”

“
Whatever you want, just make sure it'll come off fast.”

“
I will. Thank you, Sir.”

The
next fifteen minutes were a flurry of activity. I packed a small bag while waiting for the lotion on my skin to dry. Forgetting about makeup, I tore through my closet searching for the corsets club-wear and section.
I went back through memories, trying to find moments where I'd felt apprehensive about having submitting for him again. There weren't any.

“
Whoa! Hold on there, kitten.” I disentangled Tiny's claws from the train of my skirt. Without the black lacy train, it would have been a plain black leather skirt. It fell to the middle of my thighs and made my legs look nice. My corset was black, stiff and decorated with strips of black velvet. I wasn't sure how I felt about my body shaking involuntarily. Not lightly, either.
Why?
I sent a message to Lane, letting her know I'd be out all night. My phone buzzed, but it was Quinn, letting me know that he had arrived.

“
Hello again.” His voice alone made me want him.

“
Hello.”

Taking my bag from me, he opened the passenger door and stepped back to let me in. I stumbled slightly, not expecting him to pull me against his chest. My head was already raised when he kissed me. I was breathless when he pulled back, and happy that he seemed to be, too.

“That's how you say hello.”

“
I'll remember that next time, Sir.” I smiled at him.

“
Get in, I've got the heat on. Feel free to turn it up.” He shrugged out of his jacket at a red light and draped it over my lap. “You're still shivering?”

“
Not as much anymore. Thank you.”

Lust
raged when I saw the intense focus he used so effortlessly. He drove with one hand on the wheel, a cigarette balanced between two of his fingers. Quinn trusted the car to do what he wanted, though he was alert, ready to react if something unexpected happened. It was really comforting after driving with Lane, who, though I knew she was, never seemed entirely focused on the road.

“
Work's going okay?” he asked. 

“
It's been good. You?”

“
The week's started off well.” He studied a sand-colored law office when we stopped at a red light. “You like your job? Your boss is cool, the people you work with?”

“
Everyone at the firm gets along for the most part. My boss, Ben, is cool. I'm in front of a computer, or on the phone most of the time.” I shrugged, bored by my day. “What's your work week like?”

“
There are lots of client meetings and travel. When I've got downtime, I do research for clients, or for myself so I can find new clients. I play the stock market a little.”

“
I'll have to learn more about that, then. I know... nothing, actually.”

“
I was a stockbroker a while back. Now that there's no one in the pit- it's all online,” he clarified, “I'm not as aggressive with the market anymore. It's not as much fun.”

“
I'm sorry,” I said, knowing that feeling.

“
That's okay, I'm glad I had things in order before the Crash. I wouldn't have made it, if I tried to start during it.”

“
That happened right when I started job searching. It was a fun time.”

“
Was it?”

I
laughed, remembering. “Not exactly.
All's well that ends well, I guess.”

“
You do a lot of heavy reading, don't you,” he commented. “You left two books at my apartment.”

“
Sorry about that.” I trusted him more than I thought. “I bring books everywhere.”

He
saw an adult store and grinned, his eyes dark when he glanced over at me. “We need to go shopping, don't you think?”

“
Whatever pleases you, Sir.”

Quinn
chuckled as he moved his hand to my thigh. “Your answers please me.”

“
I'm glad they do, Sir.”

“
I'm going to give you such good pain tonight...”

All
I could do was stare as he parked and took my bag out of the backseat. I focused on not twisting my ankle or bumping into him as we got into his apartment. My legs were shaking again, which made walking more difficult than I wanted to admit.

When
Quinn slammed his front door locks in place, I braced, ready for the rush of dominance that would make me kneel. Confusion struck when he gently stroked his hands down over my arms. He curled his fingers around my wrists and brought them up against the wall. I groaned inside when he held them above my head with his left hand. One of his thighs moved between my legs to help keep me standing.

Breathplay
time,
my body raged with excitement. Arousal burned when his fingers wrapped around my throat. He pushed upward, steadily applying more pressure. I could feel how closely he was watching me, though my eyes had closed. When I tried opening them, the energy it took left me lightheaded. All of my world collapsed down to Quinn's hand on my neck. I stayed relaxed, sending my concentration inward. My hearing dimmed, parts of my body went numb. Fear didn't rise until it felt like the ground opened up underneath me.

My
face suddenly hit a new level of numbness. It felt cold, swiftly sliding down into my stomach and up through the back of my head.
'Tell him,
' I heard deep in my mind. '
Air! Now!!'
I dug my nails firmly into his forearm. Then I breathed in, still feeling the pressure from his hand on my neck. But I was breathing! Air was sweet and warm, tinged with his bright, dominant energy. My body slowly flooded with deeper submission.

I
let my head loll back against the wall as my senses righted themselves. The ground was solidly underneath me again. He felt so warm, his cock hard and pushing into my thigh. My hips rocked forward before he trapped me against the wall.

“
A few seconds less next time.”

“
Mmm...” I couldn't make my tongue and lips move again so soon.

When I realized how vulnerable I was, that he could have had me faint... I took a moment to weigh submission against fear.
But Quinn put his arm around my waist and kissed the side of my neck.

“
I don't want you passing out on me.”

“
Thank you, Sir,” I said, feeling fine again.

All fear was banished. I leaned against him, savoring the warmth from his body, the hard strength that had kept me from falling.

“I'm not going to leave marks. Not on your neck. I won't make you explain those away at work.”

“
Thank you for remembering, Sir. I didn't.”

“
Do you wear shirts with collars?” He moved his tongue in a circle, low toward the curve of my shoulder. “Or sweaters with the neck thing?”

“
Yes?”

“
I'll buy you one. Don't worry.”

I
felt him breathe in roughly and grasp my hair. There was going to be
real
pain! He saw my eyes before I lowered them. The heavy excitement I felt from him
drowned me with yearning. He pushed me back hard against the wall. His teeth grazed over my skin and I gasped.

“
Thank you, Sir.”

Had
I heard him laugh, or was the sound only in my head?
“Don't thank me yet.”

Quinn
took care of my coat and went to sit on the couch. There were two bottles of water waiting on the coffee table.

“
Come sit down, baby.”

Soon
as I got to the edge of his table, submissive energy took me under. Pride wavered, but fell because I wanted it to. He seemed surprised when I crawled across the floor on my hands and knees. The carpet was rough against my knees as I knelt in front of him. I had gone eight paces, but it felt so much longer... When I looked up at him, his eyes were deep green, less intense after he saw me looking at him.

“
You marked '
Maybe
' for crawling. That was okay for you?”

“
Do you like it, Sir?” 

“
I do now.”

I felt warm with pleasure. He
lowered the waistband of his shorts when I licked my lips.
If I had known he wasn't wearing anything underneath...
It made me feel an odd sense of satisfaction, having his cock in my mouth. I slid my lips all the way down his shaft until I couldn't breathe anymore.

“
Relax,” he said, after I took a deep breath. “Relax your throat.”

When
he thrust back and forth, stopping before I gagged, I wanted to be better for him. My throat opened, the gag reflex paused because he went still. But I choked when he roughly pulled back.

“
I'm sorry, Sir, I-”

“
So fucking good-! Come lay over my lap.” 

“
Your...” Submission froze as what he wanted registered.

He
pulled my head back and made me look at him. “That was another of your '
Maybe's.
' Have you changed your mind?”

Being
spanked. I didn't know how I felt about that yet. Moving without letting myself think about it, I settled myself over his thighs. I relaxed and brought my wrists together above my head.              

“
With this position, I can touch you everywhere.” He stroked the left side of my leg, then my right side down to the middle of my back. “I want to see how your body reacts to pain.”

His
explanation made sense. He really could touch me anywhere. My neck, the back of my neck, my breasts if he had me brace on my forearms. I let go of modesty, then all the thoughts I had attached to the action. Any position would have been embarrassing. At first. But over-the-knee spanking had never appeared in any of my fantasies.

When
he smoothed his hand over my ass, I breathed out slowly. Feeling his nails trail over my skin made my teeth grit. From the base of my spine, down to the middle of my thigh, the opposite for my right leg... I moved my thighs further apart and tried to ignore the new sensitivity that took over. Mortification was stronger than pain, it seemed. Until he smacked the back of my leg. He hit me a little harder, a few inches higher. The heat from his palm sank into my skin when he laid his hand flat. Then he smacked the same area, hard, five times in a row. That hurt a little more...