Sudden Hope

Copyright © 2013 Mira Garland

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

Cover design by Airicka Phoenix

Photos by Release Information: Front cover

Signed model release filed with Shutterstock, Inc.

Copyright: Mayer George

Release Information: Back cover

Copyright: luxorphoto

Editing by Ambrosia Arts

Dedication:

This book is dedicated to my family. You were always there to support me.

It is also dedicated to everyone who did not believe I could do it. You made me push to reach my dreams.

In addition, to my doll you are always in my heart.

Prologue

“Please
, tell me you're lying?” I pleaded with the balding man standing before me. “He can't be gone! This has to be a nightmare!” I screamed, but it was like I was speaking with someone else's voice. I could not breathe! I could not think! Blackness took over and I only remembered falling. That day, my life changed forever. My dad was gone. At seventeen, I knew everything was about to become hell.

I was alone.
Lost. My dad had been killed leaving a gas station. Someone shot him for twenty-three dollars and his ring, the one I had bought him for Christmas last year. The one he said he would never take off. He was so proud of me for saving my money from odd jobs in the neighborhood to buy it. He knew I wanted something and kept asking if I needed money, “Nope, I've got this,” was always my answer. He had done so much for me. I wanted to get it on my own. It was a small white gold ring that had ‘Daddy’ engraved on it, and underneath, it said ‘Little CC’. It was not much but the look in his eyes brought tears to mine that Christmas morning. The police still have not found his killer. All they know is that he is a tall white male in his mid-forties about two-hundred and forty pounds and that’s it! No other leads and no hope!

“We're looking
, honey, just try to stay strong,” is what Det. Abernathy tells me every time I call. I know I am a bother to him but he always answers my calls. He was the one who came to my house that day. I begged him to tell me he was lying, but he wasn’t. I should not have to deal with the loss. Being only seventeen this is not going to be good.

Chapter One

Vodka bottles line the counter as I try to make my breakfast. Before I can even start to cook my breakfast, I have to clean up a mountain of half full glasses and dirty dishes. I am starving and the dreams of my dad last night make me miss his cooking even more. As I look through the cabinets, I cannot find anything but cereal and pancake mix. Pancakes sound great, only I do not know how to make them. Dad always did it, but now I will have to try. I can almost taste them as I take out the eggs. I remember watching him at the stove. So big and strong but yet he would have the cheesiest smile on his face when he looked at me. One that went all the way to his eyes. The same one I see when I look in the mirror.

“Dad
stop.”
Flour was flying everywhere.
“You look like a little old lady
,” he said. Laughing so hard he was almost tearing up. Yea, he had just dumped a cup of flour in my hair.

Crap, am I this stupid? How could I burn my first batch?
Giving up, I pour a bowl of cereal while I wait for the smoke to clear. Damn, cereal every day sucks. I used to love it when my dad would make me breakfast. I miss him so much! A tear starts to form as I remember sitting with him eating every morning, he is everything to me, and I just don’t want to be without him. We were the two musketeers. He always said we didn’t need a third. As I clean up from another one of my mother’s ‘get togethers’ and I just can’t believe the mess this time. There is pizza boxes piled in the corner and cigarettes seem like they are put out in every possible thing I own. There is garbage thrown all over the house, not to mention the Whiskey and beer bottles everywhere. Plates line the floor as if we have new carpet. Broken glasses, haven’t you heard of plastic? Really. Then I look at the printer.

Crap, my paper is destroyed, thanks Mom. Really! She had to have a party last night?
People are sleeping on the deck, and my car. Oh my God! My car. I have to go to school. There has to be five people blocking it, and really, does she care? No. I learned that a long time ago. I became not only a problem, but her problem- the one thing that she always regrets, which is not much.

“CC?
CC?” there is a whisper at the door. It’s Jenny.

“
Shh, they're all sleeping and I really do not want Ryan to wake up.” He comes around the corner, looking all hung over and dressed in his usual horrible choice of clothing, boxers. Walking around in ugly stained boxers in front of a seventeen year old and her friend. Need I say more? Right, that shows what kind of person he is.

“What are you doing here
, girl?” He says with a look of evil in his eyes that never seems to fade.

“I forgot my algebra book.” The look on her face
tells me otherwise.

“I have it upstairs.” I pretty much yell it. I know Ryan will be angry knowing Jenny is here.

“I got it.”

“Cool,” she sa
ys. “Want to ride with me to school?”

“Yea, why not?”
I reply.

Jenny knows how much my mom and Ryan hate her. She doesn’t care though. They don’t like her because my mother, in her drunken stupor, tried to hit me in front of Jenny last month and Jenny lost it. She had been standing next to me and pushed me out of the way. She caught my mother's hand and twisted her arm behind her back in somewhat of a Vin Diesel move. She slammed her up against the wall and whispered in her ear,
“If you ever try to hurt CC again, I will take you down!”
Jenny has a black belt in Jujitsu and she is not afraid to use it.

You wouldn’t know it to look at her. She has the body of a swimsuit model.
Perfect legs that just reach to the sky. The longest beautiful red hair that just has a little curl right at the end. You would swear when she shook her head that the sun had just exploded. Then there are her Crystal green eyes that sparkle with every blink. She is the epiphany of beautiful. Every girl in high school wants to be her, which of course means that every guy in high school would like to be her boyfriend. For some reason she never gives any of them the time of day. She always says,
“I’m waiting for Mr. Right
.” Like he exists. Sure, maybe in her dreams. But, I love her. She is the only one who knows the real me. She is the only one who knows why I am the way I am.

“I was driving by and saw the parking lot that should be your front yard.”

“Yea I know,” I reply.

“You should have called me last night.” She is so concerned. She knows she should be.

“Yea, my cell died and my charger was downstairs. I really didn’t want to see Ryan. He was drunk, so I stayed in my room.”

“Crap. I knew it. Did he? Did he do anything to you?” The look in her eyes is the most distressed I have ever seen them.

“No.” I say, but I can’t look her in her eyes. He hasn’t touched me yet but we both have the same fear. He will someday.

“Oh thank God
,” she says with a sigh. “You have to get away from there.” I swear she would like to throw me over her shoulder and hide me away. I wish I would let her sometimes but I never want to be a burden on anyone.

“You know I can't, in eight months I get to throw her and that loser husband of hers out and th
en the house is mine again. You can come help me throw her out on my birthday if you want.” We both laugh. What a wonderful birthday present to myself that is going to be.

“I'll be there
,” She says with a devious smile on her lips. “I wouldn't miss it for the world.”

Jenny is more than a friend to me, she is like a sister. She held my hand the day my dad died.
It’s something that I'll never forget. She has always known my mom has never loved me.

“Your daddy is not here to protect you. Get your ass down here. You will learn that I am the queen of this house.”

“What’s up mom?”

“Selfish bitch.
You ate the last muffin.”

“Dad told me I could.”

“He’s not here now, is he? You can't eat if I don’t say you can. You are nothing more than a fat pig.”

“I’m sorry
, mommy. I won't do it again, please don't hit me!”
By this time, I was cowering in the corner. The look in her eyes was almost unnatural.
“Sorry don’t cut it, you brat. I could have had anything I wanted if it wasn’t for you! You ruined me!”
she was screaming and coming closer. Tears started rolling down my face. This was not the first time she had acted like this. Although I did not remember a time when she was this bad. I closed my eyes just as her hand came across my face. I looked up and started begging her to stop. I was only seven and incredibly scared. She was considerably drunk.

Dad came in the house right at that moment. I can still remember the look on his face. His eyes went back and forth from me to her then back to me. His fists were clenched at his sides so hard his knuckles were turning white. His mouth curled but not in the smiling kind of way.
More in the way of a snarl. I would have thought he was going to hit her but that wasn’t him. Then he started to cry.

He looked down at me as tears filled his eyes.

“Go upstairs, CC. I love you,”
his voice was a soft loving whisper. I walked past him and he mouthed the words, "I'm sorry." I knew it wasn’t his fault but the apology still felt good. Walking up the stairs, I closed my door. I sat nervously on the edge of my bed because I hated seeing him mad. The blue from his eyes had turned black. At that age I had never seen that side of him before and I hoped I would never have to see it again.

“
Donna, what is wrong with you? She is only seven years old.”
the tone in his voice was nothing like I had ever heard come from him. Like a growl towards her, not really a voice at all. That was the only thing I heard of the argument. The only thing I needed to hear.

I turned on my favorite Disney movie, Cinderella, and I played the TV as loud as I possibly could. I pulled my blanket as close to me as I could get it without being tucked in, and grabbed a hold of my little pink panda stuffed animal my dad had won for me at the fair.
Then I just laid there and I cried. A little while later, my door opened and I jumped. My dad looked sadly at me. He sat down on my bed and placed an ice pack on my cheek. Still to this day I remember the cold feeling was so good on my stinging face. He kissed my forehead and whispered in my ear,
“I love you, baby girl.”
Then he got up and walked out the door.

That night my mom was gone. I don’t know what happened after he left my room but when I woke up in the morning, there was the biggest stack of chocolate chip pancakes I had ever seen. They were perfectly laid out on the plate with cherry eyes and a bacon mouth. My Dad even put whipped cream hair. We sat at the table and laughed all morning. I was even allowed to have soda with breakfast. He said I didn’t have to go to school and he wasn’t going to work that day.
All afternoon together, we laid on the couch and watched cartoon movies. It was a Disney marathon in my house. We never even got dressed. When dinnertime came around, we laid a blanket out on the floor, the blue and green fuzzy one I always liked so much. We ate pizza from the box and slurped on yoo-hoo juice boxes. That was the best day of my life. The happiest I ever was and that’s how it stayed for ten more years.