Summer of Sloane (7 page)

Not that I’d forgive either of them any easier, but if they’d only done it once, I’d maybe understand it was a mistake. That maybe they were so drunk, they had no idea what was happening, until it was…happening. But twice?

I don’t even know when they did it the second time or where they were—where I was. But I can’t help thinking there’s something more going on here. That maybe there’s something between the two of them I failed to notice.

Staring down at my cast, I try to clear my head of all things Tyler. Because it hurts to keep spending so much time thinking about it. About him. And about her.

One part of my brain wants to rationalize why they did what they did. How Mick could so blatantly step over that line and destroy a friendship fifteen years in the making. How Tyler could throw away everything we had. Not just the last year, but the last decade and then some. It makes me wonder if there’s something wrong with
me
, if both my best friend and my boyfriend decided I wasn’t worth it, after all the times I’ve been there for the both of them. And now I realize how little I mean to her. How little I mean to them both.

Especially for them to do it twice.

God, if only I’d stayed at that party. Maybe things would’ve turned out differently. I know Mick has never had it easy growing up with her controlling mother, the pressure insane to never settle for anything less than the starring roles in ballet, not to mention maintain perfect grades. Freshman year, when Mick had landed a perfectly good B-plus in English, her mom had grounded her for a month to make her focus on getting it back up to an A.

It’s because of her mom that Mick is the way she is. She doesn’t stop until everything she wants is compartmentalized into perfect little spots in her life. Which now includes Tyler.

But why did it have to be
my
boyfriend?

I guess what bothers me the most is that I didn’t even know Mick had a thing for Tyler—or the other way around.

It hurts to my very core, and it makes it hard to breathe. It feels like I could lose control at any moment and the air will stop being there like it is for everyone else. And I absolutely hate that feeling of being out of control.

My phone vibrates across my desk, and I look at the screen to see who the text is from. So many lately have been from Tyler, so I’m surprised when I see a different name come up on the screen.

I send her my address and offer to pick her up, but she tells me she can get a ride no problem.

And then I suddenly panic. Because what if she’s getting a ride from her brother?

I still can’t believe I threw up on him. I mean I’ve had some pretty impressive moments in my life, like that time Mick and I were walking down the sidewalk in front of DaVinci’s—one of the popular hangouts for all the kids at school—and I walked straight into the pole of a stop sign. You’d think that wasn’t as mortifying as it sounds, but DaVinci’s has an open counter that faces the sidewalk, so when the weather gets nice, you can eat your pizza and people-watch. It’s the place to see and be seen. So of course pretty much the entire junior class witnessed my head-on collision with metal. I can still hear the pinging sound echoing in my ears and see Mick rushing to my side to see if I was okay. I was so grateful when she waited to laugh until I did.

But throwing up on Finn? Yeah. That might possibly go down as one of my most embarrassing moments. Ever.

I haven’t seen him in two days. Mia invited me to another party on the beach last night, but I couldn’t bring myself to go, knowing he’d most likely be there. What do you say to somebody after you puke on them? Besides, I promised my mom we’d have dinner together and it was nice to finally sit down with her, Bob, and my brother for the first time since last summer.

I change into my suit, take my morning cup of coffee out to the pool, and stare at the ocean. The water, my home away from home. The monotony of it is completely mesmerizing, not to mention therapeutic, the waves coming in, then pulling back out, again and again. I think being here in Hawaii is screwing with my head, because even though my heart reminds me it’s only been days, my brain wants me to believe it could’ve been months ago when everything fell apart. It’s amazing what a few thousand miles and a change of scenery can do.

“Hey, you have a visitor,” Penn says, breaking into my thoughts. I turn to see him standing in the door to the living room, Luce tucked in behind him.

“Oh, crap! Is it eleven already?” I have no idea where the hour went. “I’m so sorry! Come on out.” I grab my cap and goggles and the extra pair I snagged for Luce, just in case, and motion toward the pool. “So, how comfortable are you in the water?”

She twirls a strand of hair around her finger and stares past the pool at the ocean, like at any moment a wave might jump up and sweep her away.

“I…I used to be okay.”

“Used to be?”

Luce looks down at her feet and slowly shakes her head. “I’m just not very strong,” she whispers.

It’s obvious something has her freaked-out, but it doesn’t sound like I’m going to get much more out of her than that. I decide to leave it for now and hope I can work around whatever this fear is.

“Well then, we’ll start at the beginning. I promise I’ll have you spinning laps in no time.” I rest my hand on her shoulder until she looks up at me. “We’ll be working in the pool for a while, so no worries, okay?”

She stares at me with those blue eyes of hers and nods.

“So before we start, I want to lay a few ground rules.” I hate to sound like a control freak, but when it comes to the water, I kinda am. “First, it’s really important you never swim alone. As you’re learning, you should always swim with someone else, preferably someone that’s a stronger swimmer than you. You also need to understand there’s a huge difference between swimming in a pool and swimming out in the ocean.”

I tick off a number of reasons, from currents and riptides to ocean predators that swim faster than we do, especially here in the Islands. When she nods her head feverishly in agreement, I know she’s hanging on to every one of my words.

“Have you ever worn a cap and goggles?” I ask, handing her the extra set.

“Nope.”

“Okay, that’s where we’ll start.”

We ease into the shallow end of the pool, and I show her how to get her cap on correctly. Now that my hair is shorter, it’s much easier to tuck it all up under the stretchy silicone material, but it takes a bit of work with Luce’s thick mane. We both laugh when her cap goes flinging across the pool and I have to swim to retrieve it. I decide to hold off on the goggles for now, because I get a sense she’s not going to be too keen on putting her head underwater just yet.

“So first we’re going to start with floating.” I walk over to the edge of the pool near the steps and grab on to the side, then let my feet slowly rise out behind me. She watches my every move as I bob in the water for a few seconds, kicking my feet ever so slightly. “Okay, now your turn, but I’ll help you, okay?”

She looks relieved when I hold a hand out to her and guide her over to where I’m standing. Slowly, she reaches for the edge of the pool, and I hold on to her waist.

“Hang tight to the edge, but let your legs go….Don’t worry, I’ve got you.” She’s hesitant at first, but she lets her feet eventually float out from under her, and I place one arm under her stomach and one under her thighs. She grips the edge of the pool with brute strength, her knuckles actually turning white, but when she realizes I’ve got her and I’m not letting go, she lessens her hold a bit.

“So last spring when I was lifeguarding, there was this boy, probably around eleven or twelve years old. I’d seen him a couple of times at the pool, but couldn’t recall if he was a strong swimmer or not. Anyway, this kid walks out to the pool deck like he owns it, and all his friends are laughing and cheering him on. He looks over at me, then goes right to the deep end and jumps in. And after several seconds of flailing arms and water splashing everywhere, I realize he has no idea how to swim.”

Luce stares at me as she kicks softly in the water, her grip on the edge of the pool not quite as viselike. “So what did you do?”

“Well, he was taking in mouthfuls of water like he was determined to drink the entire pool.” I can feel the heat in my cheeks, and I know my face is getting red. “So I blew my whistle to alert the other guards and dove in after him.”

“And then what?” she asks.

“He was unresponsive when I got to him, but I managed to haul him out of the pool. With all his friends and everyone else crowded around me, I started CPR. But when I leaned in to give him mouth-to-mouth, the little punk stuck his tongue in my mouth, and I screamed.” I smile at Luce, who is now floating on her own and doesn’t even realize I’ve let go. “Turns out the entire thing was a dare from his friends, to see if he could kiss me.”

“Oh my God, what a jerk! That’s not even funny!” She squeals, but her smile tells me differently, and I know she’s finally, truly, relaxed.

Her confidence grows a little bit more with each story I tell. Eventually she’s even okay with me floating right next to her. And while there are a few moments where she panics and drops her feet back down, I can tell she’s really trying to make this work.

From there, I show her how to float on her back as I hold her in place. “All you’re doing is letting your body get comfortable in the water. At any time, if you start to get scared, remember you can always stand up.”

I slowly walk around the shallow end as she floats out in front of me, and that’s when I see Finn. I’m not sure how long he’s been standing there, but something tells me he didn’t just get here. Propped up against the frame of the large open doors to our living room, his ankles crossed and his arms folded over his chest, he watches Luce float. There’s a pained expression that wrinkles up the space above his nose, but when his eyes connect with mine, any trace of emotion vanishes.

“Okay, Luce, I think that’s our lesson for today, but tomorrow we’re going to learn how to submerge your face underwater.” She brings her legs down, until she’s standing on her own. We discuss times that will work for us to meet on a consistent basis as we make our way over to the steps of the pool. When she spots Finn, her face falls ever so slightly.

“I asked where you were going today and you lied.” He doesn’t speak loudly, and I can tell he’s trying not to embarrass her. He holds out a towel for her to take. “I’m not sure why you felt like you needed to, but don’t ever do that again, okay?”

“Geez, who are you, her father?” I smile as I reach past him for my own towel, but the dark look that crosses his face tells me it was so the wrong thing to say. “Whoa, lighten up, it was just a joke.”

Luce tugs the towel from his outstretched hand with a heavy sigh. “I didn’t tell you because I knew you wouldn’t like it. And obviously since you’re here, I’m right.” She looks from Finn to me, clearly asking for some help.

“I’m the one that offered to teach her, so please don’t be mad at Luce.” I put my hand on her shoulder and motion toward the open doors to my bedroom. “Go ahead and use my bathroom to change.”

“Thanks for the lesson, Sloane.” She grabs her bag and makes her way to my room.

When she’s safely out of earshot, I turn back to Finn. He studies me a moment. His eyes are so intense it makes me shiver, and I pull my towel tighter around myself.

“Did Luce tell you why she’s afraid of the water?” he asks.

“No. I asked, but she didn’t go into any detail.” I pause, hoping maybe he’ll fill me in, but he doesn’t say anything more. “I do know she wants to be a stronger swimmer, and I can definitely help her there. You okay with that or do I need to have you sign a permission slip?”

The corners of his mouth slowly hitch up. “Yeah, I’m okay with that. But please be careful with her, Sloane. And please don’t push her if she’s not ready.”

I hold up my hand. “Scout’s honor, or however that goes. Whatever. You have my word.” I wait until he gives me a full-blown smile before moving on. “So if we’re past that…there’s something…So about the other night.”

He pretends to itch at his nose to cover his mouth, and I can tell he’s trying not to laugh. “Yeah, talk about first impressions. But
that
was impressive.”

“Hey! I’m pretty sure I asked you to put me down, in case you forgot.” I poke his foot with my own.

“Yeah, you asked, but not even five seconds later, you hurled all over me. Maybe give me a little more warning next time?” Before I can respond—not that I’d even know what to say to that—Luce makes her way back over to us. “You ready to blow this joint, Lemon?”

“Lemon?” I smile as I walk them out to the front.

“Yeah, can’t remember when that started, but it just sort of stuck, huh?” He ruffles Luce’s hair, making her giggle.

I’m surprised to see a black SUV with heavily tinted windows waiting in the driveway. A driver stands near the back door and opens it as soon as he sees us. Huh, a personal chauffeur? That must be rough.

“Go ahead and hop on in, I’ll be right there,” Finn says to Luce.

I don’t miss the eye roll she gives her brother before she turns to me. “Thanks again, Sloane. I’ll see you tomorrow afternoon?” She shades her eyes and looks at me as if I might change my mind.

I reach out and hug her close. “Luce, you’re going to be a fantastic swimmer when we’re done here, I promise. And yes, I’ll see you tomorrow.” She squeezes me back, then heads toward the car.

Finn watches as she climbs up in the backseat, then turns back to me. “Thanks for helping her, really.”

“Honestly, it’s no problem. Anything to do with the water, I’m in.”

“Well, if that’s the case, I know some great spots here on the island—maybe we could go check them out sometime?”

It suddenly feels about fifteen degrees warmer outside. “Yeah, I think I’d like that.”

“Good, ’cause I’d like that, too.” He holds my gaze for just a second longer than necessary, then strides toward the car and in one swift movement swings up into the back of the SUV. And then he’s gone.