Surrender (The Forbidden Series Book 3) (5 page)

‘You’re my sister…’

‘Yeah. I am. I just have a different name now.’

He throws back his head and sighs again. ‘OK. OK, I get it. I know why you don’t want to talk about this, I understand that, I really do.’ He moves closer still and I slowly look up until our eyes meet again. ‘Something happened, Kira… Jesus, I can’t get used to calling you that…’

‘
What
happened, Kris?’

He briefly bows his head, his hands still firmly buried in his pockets.

‘Kris?’

He looks up, and I feel my heart start to beat so loud and so hard it’s painful.

‘He hurt her. His wife, he – he hurt her.’

I feel my stomach twist up into the tightest knot as bile rises in my throat.

‘And she told someone. She went to the police she… she
told
someone… Jesus! Why couldn’t
you
have just done the fucking same?’

I feel more tears start to burn my eyes and I turn my head away slightly. ‘What happened, Kris?’ I’m surprising myself with how calm I’m managing to remain. Or maybe I’m just slowly shutting down, I don’t know. Everything’s starting to feel slightly unreal.

‘He was arrested, and then the floodgates opened, it all came out. He was spouting vitriol like he didn’t fucking care, blaming your affair with Jon for everything, for turning him into the man he became…’

‘Oh, Jesus…’ I whisper, closing my eyes and laying my head back against the wall. This isn’t happening, it can’t… it isn’t happening.

‘And when he admitted what he did to you… when he tried to say you’d brought it on yourself…’

I keep my eyes closed, but I don’t say anything. I can’t. I don’t know
what
to say.

‘Mum, Dad, Simon’s family – Jon’s family, they’re all devastated, kid. And Dad, he blames himself for everything…’

‘It wasn’t his fault,’ I whisper.

‘He thinks it was.’

I finally open my eyes and look at my brother.

‘I just wanted to kick the bastard into the next century. I wanted to pull him apart and rip him to pieces for what he did to you – what he took from us, as a family.’

‘I’ve felt like that every day of my life for years now.’

My voice is still barely above a whisper. But at the same time a strange kind of calm is beginning to wash over me; a sense of finality, almost.

‘Dad’s in a bad way, Ka… Kira.’ He once more looks down for a couple of beats, and when he raises his gaze there’s a small smile on his face. ‘Do I really have to call you that now?’

‘Does it make you uncomfortable, calling me by my escort name?’

He says nothing for a second, and that’s because I’m making him confront something he probably doesn’t want to even think about. But it’s a part of my life that was very important to me. It’s a part of my life I owe my survival to. That part of my life saved me.

‘You didn’t have to do that. You didn’t have to
become
that.’

‘Yes, Kris, I did.’

He turns his head away and runs a hand back through his hair. ‘He was refused bail. So he’s on remand, until the trial starts. And they’d like to speak to you, Kira. The police.’ He turns to look at me again. ‘What he did to
you
he did to her, too, and I know you won’t want him to get away with that. He needs to pay, Kira.’

‘I’m not coming home.’

‘Dad, he – he’d really like to see you. And Mum, she’s in pieces. She just needs to know you’re OK.’

‘And for over a decade they didn’t give a shit, Kris…’

‘We were wrong, OK? We didn’t try to look for you because you’d made it very clear you didn’t want to be found, but we were wrong. We should have tried. And I regret what we did – what we
didn’t
do – every day of my fucking life. Believe me, Kira, I never stopped loving you. You’re my fucking
sister
. And we were wrong. We were so, so wrong.’

I drop my gaze and stare at the ground. I don’t want to relive any of this, but I might have to, if I want
him
to pay for what he did. For what he was never going to stop doing. I can’t let him get away with that.

‘You don’t have to come home, kid. You don’t. Nobody is going to make you do that, not if you really don’t want to, but…’

‘I don’t.’

His eyes meet mine again, and I think he understands. I hope he does. ‘Then I’m not going to make you. But the police, they’d really like to speak to you. It would help, it really would.’

‘I’ll speak to them. Soon. OK?’

‘Just tell them what happened, Kira. Tell them the truth.’

‘Don’t
you
want to know? What really happened? I mean, you’ve obviously heard
his
side, but, don’t you want to hear it from me, too?’

‘I don’t think I could do it.’ His voice is shaking, and only now am I beginning to realise how hard this must have been for him, to come here, and face me, after all this time. After hearing what he’s heard. ‘I don’t think I could listen to you tell me what he did to you. Hearing him say what he said, that was bad enough. But to hear
you
tell me what he did…’

The words seem to choke him, and he coughs into his hand, turning his head away from me, but when he turns back to face me he’s crying, and I can’t bear it. This is killing me.

‘Kira?’

I swing around at the sound of Jon’s voice, and his expression is one of shock as he sees Kris standing there.

‘Kris?’

My brother looks up at Jon, and I can’t read either of their faces. I’m completely numb.

‘Everyone knows, Jon.’

He looks at me. ‘Knows what?’

Kris tells him exactly what he’s just told me, and I take Jon’s hand and hold it tight, feeling his fingers squeeze mine in an almost vice-like grip as he listens; as he tries to take it all in.

‘We tried to find you, Jon,’ Kris says, and I can’t help but notice the tears still falling slowly down my brother’s handsome face. ‘After he – after he told us you and Kate… you and
Kira
… after he told us you’d been sleeping together we tried to find you, because we knew that if we found
you
– you were the only link to her we had. So, when we found out you’d come over to America, your parents, they told me about the house you have here in town. It was the only hope, the only lead we had.’

Jon squeezes my hand again and I lean into him.

‘I’m gonna go move the flights back,’ he murmurs into my ear, kissing me quickly. ‘Do you want Kris to come with us? To New York?’

I nod, I don’t even hesitate. Yes. I want my brother to come with us. Now he’s here we need to sort this out. I need to finish this.

‘OK.’ He touches my cheek and kisses me again. ‘You alright?’

‘I’m fine.’

He heads inside and I turn to look back at Kris. His eyes are still full of tears as he runs a hand along the back of his neck, but I can’t cry. Not anymore. I’m done with the crying.

‘Is he OK?’ Kris asks.

I fold my arms against myself and walk over to him. ‘He just doesn’t want to have to go through this again. It’s hard for him, you know? We went through so much together…’ I trail off, because they don’t know the half of what really went on; what me and Jon went through. And I don’t want them to know. They don’t need to. They know enough of the truth.

‘I really am sorry, Kira. That we made it so you felt like you couldn’t come to us.’

‘It wasn’t
your
fault.’

He shrugs and sweeps an arm across his eyes to wipe away the tears. ‘Maybe not. But we were all to blame, in some way. I was as wrapped up in the business as anyone…’

‘You were away, most of the time.’

‘Yeah, and maybe if I’d been around more…’

‘It wouldn’t have mattered, Kris. It was a mess, and nothing was going to change that.’

He looks right at me, and my heart breaks for all the time I’ve missed with this man. ‘Jon he must – he must really love you.’

‘Yeah. He does.’

‘And you feel the same way?’

‘I think I’ve always loved him. I don’t think I ever stopped.’

‘Are you happy, Kira? Now, I mean. Are you happy?’

I throw him a small smile. ‘I’m getting there.’

I watch as he nervously runs a hand over the back of his neck, briefly bowing his head, breaking the stare.

‘Look, I… What you did… what you became…’

‘An escort, Kris. You can say the word.’

‘It’s changed you.’

He doesn’t even phrase that as a question, because he doesn’t need to. The answer’s quite obvious.

‘Everything that happened changed me. I’m really not the same person I was the last time you saw me. I’m not the sister you knew, the sister you grew up with. That’s why I had to change my name, change everything about myself. All that shit messed me up and changing was the only option I had left.’

‘I really am sorry.’

I shake my head and reach out for his hand, taking it in mine and bringing it up to my cheek, holding it there. ‘It’s over, Kris. OK? I’ll talk to the police, I’ll tell them what they need to know but once that’s done, it’s over. I’m not coming home, and I don’t know if I can ever see Mum and Dad again, I really don’t know if I’ll ever be able to do that. But I want it all to be over. And then I’m moving on, once and for all.’

He catches sight of my engagement ring and runs his thumb lightly over the diamond solitaire that sits in the centre of the white gold band. ‘You’re getting married?’

‘I’m getting married.’

He smiles, and I squeeze his hand and he pulls me in for another hug. ‘Don’t push me away again, sis. You got that?’

I nod and cling on to his jacket as he holds me tight but I’m still trying to process what’s happening here; I’m still reeling from his appearance, still numb with shock; with guilt.

I’ve got my brother back.

But his coming here, it’s changed everything.

Again.

It’s changed everything…

Five

Neal

‘Has something happened?’

Joey glances up from the paperwork he’s checking over behind the bar in Bam-Bams. ‘Like what?’

‘Kira.’

‘What about her?’

‘She was supposed to arrive in New York yesterday, but Benni’s just told me she’s still in Maine.’

Joey continues to look at me as though I’m speaking some kind of alien language. ‘Helen not with you today?’

‘She’s at the gallery.’

‘Working with you now, is she?’

‘Has something happened, Joey?’

He slides his reading glasses up onto his nose and looks back down at the papers. ‘It’s a long story, handsome. Suffice to say, her brother’s turned up out of the blue, and now all kinds of family business is currently being dug up.’

I frown. A pretty big frown, actually. Now I’m just fucking confused. ‘Brother? I didn’t even know she
had
a brother.’

‘Didn’t you?’ He glances back up at me. ‘Well, he’s here, anyway, and like I said, now all kinds of shit is hitting the fan, so…’

‘What
kind
of shit, Joey?’

‘I don’t know for sure, Neal. She hasn’t said all that much, our conversations have been pretty brief.’

‘She must have said
something
? I mean, why would he turn up now, after all this time? I thought her family…’

‘It’s complicated. Probably more complicated than either you or I will ever know.’

‘But she’s told you way more than she’s ever told me. I mean, you knew she
had
a brother, right?’

He looks at me over the top of his glasses. ‘Yes. I knew. And if she’d thought it was something you’d needed to know about then I’m sure she would have told you, too. In time.’

I frown again, because I’m still fucking confused. ‘So, why’s he come looking for her now, after all this time? I thought they…’

‘Simon. He’s been arrested. For assaulting his wife.’

I’m lost for words for a beat or two. I’m just trying to take in what Joey’s telling me here. ‘Arrested?’

He takes off his glasses and leans forward across the bar, folding his arms in front of him. ‘They know. What Simon did to her, Neal. Her family, they know. Now.’

‘I… Jesus… How? I mean…’

‘To cut a very long story short, the bastard who hurt her attacked his wife, she went to the police, he was arrested, and then, for some reason, he decided to spill his guts, blame Kira for the way he turned out, cowardly son-of-a-bitch that he is – well, he blamed her, and Jon, because he knew about their affair all along, apparently…’

‘He
knew
? For how long? I mean, did he know…?

‘He knew it was going on from the very start.’ He shrugs and pushes his glasses back up his nose. ‘Don’t ask me how, like I said, our conversations have been brief, but that’s what she told me. He knew from the very start.’

I feel like I’m in the middle of some ridiculously confusing nightmare. ‘This is crazy…’

‘That weak, pathetic specimen of a monster claims it was finding out that she was sleeping with his best friend that drove him to do what he did. I swear, if I ever got my hands on him…’

‘Get in line, Joey.’

He looks at me, and there’s the hint of a smile playing at the corner of his mouth. ‘Anyway, Kira’s spoken to the police, told them what he did, what happened to her, and along with what he did to his wife, hopefully that should be enough to put that bastard away for a long time.’

‘She’s spoken to the police?’

‘She might have to go back to give evidence, once the date for the court case is set.’

‘Back to the UK?’

‘Yes.’

‘And she’s OK with that?’

‘Neal, sweetheart, I don’t know. Like I keep telling you, our phone conversations have been brief at best.’

‘And her family? What’s – what’s happening there? I mean, her brother turning up like this… how did he even find her? After all this time?’

‘I don’t know, Neal. All I know is they managed to track her down through Jon. Once everyone knew about the affair, that’s when they found out Jon was in America, and knowing that he had the house in Maine… Anyway…’ He waves a dismissive hand at nobody in particular. ‘It’s complicated. She can barely get her own head around it, so no wonder the rest of us are confused. But, they’re all arriving here in New York, this afternoon. Just in time for our pre-wedding dinner party tonight. You
are
still coming to that, aren’t you? You and Helen? The caterer is doing the most beautiful confit of duck, I swear, it just melts in your mouth…’

‘Joey, hang on, slow down a bit will you?
They’re
arriving this afternoon? Is her brother…?’

‘Yes, he’s coming too. I’ve never met him, but she used to talk about him every now and again… well, she’d mention him, I’m not sure we ever had a conversation based around him. You know as well as I do how she felt about her family, how she didn’t really want to talk about them, but…’

‘Jesus Christ…’

‘Are you alright?’

I lean forward and rest my arms on the counter, dropping my head and raking both hands through my hair. ‘
Shit!
’

‘She’ll be fine, Neal. This is Kira we’re talking about. She can handle this.’

‘Can she?’

‘Yes, she can. So don’t go getting any ideas, you hear me?’

‘Ideas?’

‘She’s getting married. She’s in love. This – it doesn’t change any of that.’

‘She tell you that, did she?’

‘Yes, she did. There might be a few more unexpected things she’s got to get her head around now, but, as far as her and Jon are concerned, nothing has changed.’

‘And the brother? He’s staying in her life, is he?’

‘From what I can gather, yes. He is. But it’s early days on that score. I think she’s probably going to need some time before she’s got her head completely around what’s happening now.’ He picks up his glasses and sticks one of the arms in his mouth, chewing on the end of it as he stares out across the empty club. ‘And I’ve also gathered, from what she’s told me, that he’s quite a looker, too. Tall and handsome with dirty-blonde hair and blue eyes, that’s what she said. But, come on, if he looks anything like his sister he is going to be
beautiful
!’

I’m starting to tune him out now. All I can think about is Kira; what she’s going through, how she’s feeling. And I want to be there for her, more than anything that’s what I want. I want to be there for her.

‘Neal.’

Joey’s voice snaps me back to the here and now and I look at him.

‘No ideas. OK? Talk to her, tell her you hope she’s doing alright but after that, leave her to get on with her life. And then you get on with yours.’

Which all sounds like the perfect plan.

I’m just not sure that it’s gonna be possible anymore.

Kira

I throw my bag onto the bed and sit down on the edge of it, just staring at the wall in front of me. I can’t focus on anything, not really. I’m still too numb.

‘You OK, kid?’

I turn to look at him standing in the bathroom doorway, and I smile. ‘Yeah. I’m fine.’

‘You sure?’

He sits down beside me and I reach out to tug gently at the towel tied loose around his waist. ‘You’ve had your shower, then?’

‘I’m thinking I should have waited for you, huh?’

I smile again, and lean in to kiss his slightly open mouth. ‘Yeah. That could have been a mistake on your part, mister.’

He grins, and I let him push my jacket back off my shoulders. ‘Kris settling in OK?’

‘My brother’s fine. I’ve left him wading through the cable channels while he tries to process everything I’ve told him about Joey. He needs to be prepared for
that
meeting.’

‘So, we’ve got some playtime then?’

‘Oh no, not yet. I need that shower first.’

‘I’ll take you dirty, darlin’,’ he growls into my neck, his fingers sliding inside my shirt. ‘I prefer you that way.’

I laugh quietly, my nipples hardening against his hand as he slides it up under my bra. And then he’s tearing at my clothes, and my fingers are raking at his skin as he strips me naked. It’s like all the pent-up emotion of the past day or so is finally reaching its peak, spilling out of me in the only way I know how to deal with it.

He picks me up and I wind my legs around him, his mouth crashing down onto mine in a hard, heavy kiss as he slams me back against the wall, pushing inside me with an almost violent force that makes me cry out loud. But the pain is beautiful, and welcome, and I savour every thrust as his cock rams into me, his fingers digging into my thighs as he tries to keep me steady.

It’s necessary sex. It’s the release we both need. And as that familiar wave of white-hot pins and needles sweeps across my body I cry out again, and within seconds he’s coming, too, every jerk, every spasm pumping more of him into me. And then we’re done. It’s over. The fast and brutal sex we both needed.

He laughs quietly, and I join in, our mouths together, his fingers lightly stroking my cheek as our bodies remain joined. ‘Jesus, Kira. Shit just won’t leave us alone, will it?’

I run my fingers through his hair, messing it up, because I like him that way – messed-up. I like everything that way. I thought I was getting used to normality, but like I said, Kris turning up like that – it’s changed everything.

‘Maybe we’re just not destined to be normal, huh?’

‘We were getting there, babe. Weren’t we?’

He pulls out of me and puts me down, grabbing the towel off the bed and wrapping it back around himself. I stay naked. I like being naked. I like the power it gives me.

‘Weren’t we, Kira?’

I walk over to him and he catches my waist and pulls me closer. I rest my hands against his chest, keeping my eyes down as I run my fingers over his skin. ‘We need to get ready. We’re going to be late for Joey and Benni’s dinner and I still need a shower.’

I pull back from him but he gently grabs my wrist, stopping me from leaving just yet. ‘I love you, Kira. None of what’s happened – none of it’s changed that.’

I look at him and smile. ‘I know.’

‘Kira…’

‘I’d better go take that shower.’

Because I need some time alone.

Just a few minutes.

To think…

Neal