Surviving Doctor Vincent: The Good Doctor Trilogy Book 2 (3 page)

Maybe Alaska was far enough removed that they wouldn’t know my father. Surely, someone would need my skills. I picked up the glass, swallowed as much as my mouth would hold, and pressed send. There. Done. I did it. I couldn’t go back to the lab again. I couldn’t bear to see his image in the lobby or in the quarterly newsletter. I decided to pretend Xavier Vincent was nothing but a dream. A celebrity fantasy. Nothing more than sex.

My stomach growled. I had played with my food at lunch instead of eating. Gretchen’s news and my depression over Xavier’s empty words had left me without an appetite, but I would need to eat sometime. I reached into my pants pocket, dialed Gino’s around the corner, and placed the phone to my ear.

“Gino’s.”

“Hi, Gus. It’s Elaine in 1C. Can I get the usual?”

“For you, beautiful, anything. I’ll have it there in fifteen.”

“Thanks.”

I tossed the phone onto the table, walked to the kitchen to retrieve the bottle of wine, and returned to the couch. I couldn’t risk any thoughts clear enough to talk me out of my decision. The liquid gurgled and flowed from the bottle into the glass.

The knock on the door startled me. That was the shortest fifteen minutes ever. Gus had probably heard my stomach growling or perhaps they weren’t very busy.

I turned the lock. By the time my eyes adjusted to the sight in my doorway, Xavier had already pushed inside, kicked the door closed, and dragged me halfway across the kitchen. He pulled out a chair from the small kitchenette and with his palm on my chest, forced me to sit. It all happened so fast. A flurry of confusion. He grabbed my arms and forced them behind me. Something cold encircled my wrists and clicked into place. What the hell? Had he handcuffed me? Fuck, how much wine did I drink?

He backed away and squatted in front of me, so that we were eye to eye. With both hands, he cupped my face. “Let me explain what’s going to happen. You are going to sit there until you are capable of having a rational conversation.”

I pulled at the cuffs and closed my eyes, trying to clear my head. I tried to stand, but my arms could not slip free of the wide chair back. I sat back down and glared at him.

“If you shout, scream, or make any attempt to get anyone’s attention, I will gag you.” His voice rang out, calm and smooth, a direct contrast to his words. He loosened his tie, pulled the red fabric free from his neck, and looped the silk around each of his fists, stretching the fibers taut. “What’s it going to be?”

“Why are you here? What do you want?” My words were laced with the fear, frustration, and confusion that caused my muscles to tremble under my skin.

“Oh, Elaine...” He dropped one end of the tie and stroked his thumb along my cheek. “Don’t fear me. I’d never hurt you. But I saw that look in your eyes today. You’re not capable of reason in this stage of anger.” His voice, soft and calming, threatened to chip away at my resolve. He placed a kiss on my forehead.

I breathed deep through my nose and exhaled to clear Xavier Vincent’s effect on me. “This is bullshit. Un-cuff me and go back to your bimbo.”

He sighed. “Just as I thought. You’re not going to listen willingly.” He stood, expanding his tall form, reminding me of just how commanding his presence was, with the red tie dangling between his fingers.

No matter how beautiful he was, or how much his proximity lit a fire under my skin, I couldn’t afford to give in. “God, if this is how you ran your practice, no wonder you’re not seeing patients anymore.” Anger had me reaching for anything to hurt him.

“I get it. You’re angry. I was halfway here when the strength of your reaction struck me. I saw hate in your eyes today. There is no rational way to deal with your current state of mind, in my professional opinion.” He raised an eyebrow and shot me a condemning look. “Well...not in any reasonable amount of time—perhaps with months of therapy. That
is
something I learned from my practice. When I passed a storefront with those cuffs binding a mannequin in a bustier, I figured restraints might make for a nice shortcut...and well...here we are.”

“The delivery guy will be here any minute, you’d better un-cuff me.”

Bending at the waist, he placed another kiss on my forehead. “I’m fully capable of answering the door.”

“What if I scream?”

“You won’t.” He draped the tie across my lap as a reminder and then crossed his arms. He turned and walked to the kitchen. “Now where are they?” He began opening and closing my cabinet doors. The sight of Xavier Vincent in my kitchen, in his suit that probably cost more than everything I owned combined, was as bizarre as spotting a dinosaur in Central Park.

“What are you looking for?” I tried to focus my eyes and clear my head. Did I accidently drug myself? Surely, he wasn’t rummaging through my cupboards.

“Ah...there they are.” He removed the glass and placed it under the water dispenser on my refrigerator.

He walked to me with a clear tumbler in his hand and extended the liquid to my lips. “Drink.”

“No, thank you.”

His eyes narrowed at my refusal. “It wasn’t a request.”

Just then a knock sounded. “If you know what’s good for you, you’ll keep quiet.” He set the glass on the table beside him, turned, strode to the door, and opened it.

“Hey, beauti—wait, where’s Elaine?” I couldn’t see Gus, only the doctor’s back, but his voice was filled with bewilderment.

The doctor reached into his pocket. “She’s a bit busy at the moment. How much is it?”

“Ahhh...eight-fifty.” The doctor pulled several bills from his wallet and passed them to Gus on the other side of the doorway.

“Thanks, man. You her brother...or somethin’?”

“No. I’m her lover, and you are?”

“Hey, don’t mind me. I just work ’round the corner. Tell her I said, hey.”

Xavier closed the door, turning his attention back to me. “Now, where was I? Oh, yes. You have some cooling down to do.”

“Lover? Did you just tell Gus that I’m your lover?” I let out a bitter laugh. “By the looks of things today, that title belongs to someone else now.”

He set the food on the stand, retrieved the glass, and raised the water to my mouth again. “No, it doesn’t belong to someone else. Now drink.”

“I’m not thirsty.” I pursed my lips.

“Fine.” He placed his lips on the rim and sipped.

“Why are you here?” I let out a huff, exasperated by his games.

He stood and fumbled with the takeout container. “That is an excellent question. Because I shouldn’t be.”

I finally understood the handcuffs. Had my hands been free, I would have punched him.

To make matters worse, he continued. “I shouldn’t be anywhere around you. Especially not here, but today...” He flipped open the takeout lid and speared a piece of pasta with a plastic fork and offered it to me. “What I saw in your eyes was so final. I thought I was prepared to deal with your disappointment. I’m a failure for being so weak.” He nudged my lips with the fork. “Open your mouth.”

I kept my lips sealed.

“Come on. You must be hungry. You ordered this.”

I turned my head away, trying to hide the tears welling in my eyes.

He dropped the fork into the pasta, set the Styrofoam container on the table, and grasped my face in his hands.

I closed my eyes, causing wetness to roll down my cheeks.

“Elaine. I swear I can explain...everything.”

I squeezed my lids tighter in an effort to will him away. “Maybe I don’t want your lies. I’m tired of all the words.”

“Fine.” He scooted closer, settling between my spread legs. His mouth closed over mine. Tiny caresses against reluctant lips. “Nothing has changed,” he breathed against my skin.

More tears slipped from the corners of my eyes and a sarcastic laugh escaped. “How can you say that?”

“Because I still love you.” His lips moved against mine, but I refused to give in.

“Please...stop,” I whimpered against his mouth. The heaviness in my chest grew.

“No. I was wrong. I don’t know what I was thinking. I know now—I can’t lose you.” He trailed kisses along my jaw and stopped just below my ear. “Like it or not, I will always love you.”

“I can’t do this.”

“I know,” he whispered. “I almost lost you today. I foolishly believed you’d wait for me. That somehow, when I was done, you’d still be there, as profoundly in love as I was. I’m changing the rules.”

“What rules?”

“Are you ready to listen to me?”

“No.”

“OK. I have time. Sure you’re not hungry?” His posture relaxed. He wasn’t leaving until I was ready to listen, but I wasn’t sure I was even capable of hearing him out.

The tears still flowed, and I couldn’t answer him. There was nothing he could say that would change my mind. If I had any chance at a life, he needed to take his box and leave.

He packed the pasta away and placed the container in the refrigerator. When he rounded the corner, he kicked the box of dreaded reminders, causing it to thud against the island. He tilted his head to read the writing, and then his gaze darted to me. “Since this is addressed to me, I might as well open my package.”

I couldn’t watch. I hung my head and closed my eyes.

The sound of peeling tape filled the room. His inhalation was audible after he pulled the last of sticky plastic away and opened the flaps.

I glanced up to see him rummaging through the contents. He discovered the silver box and lifted the lid, pulled out the necklace, dangling it by the chain. “Wow, you were more pissed off than I thought.”

“What did you expect? You tell me you love me and then disappear. It’s been weeks. Not one returned phone call. Is this some kind of sick game to you? See how long I’ll wait? Then today...you act like you hardly know me, but after seeing that blonde, I can see why.”

He undid the clasp, stretched the strands apart, and stalked toward me, ignoring my rant. “Do you remember the last thing I said to you after we made love in your office at Western?” He looped his hands around my neck and fastened the chain.

The images that flooded my mind stung. His body wrapped around me, inside me. His words of love. I searched for the details he requested. “You said you were going to check out the Society and that you’d be in touch.”

He knelt in front of me, and adjusted the necklace. “Yes, that is what I said. I also asked if you could love me the way I needed. If I remember correctly, you said yes.” He ran a finger along my collarbone, teasing the skin.

I refused to let the heat he coaxed forth distract me from my point. “I didn’t know I’d have to love you on my own, like some celebrity crush. I’m not that pathetic. Stupidly, I assumed you’d be involved. I’m alone enough as it is; loving someone who isn’t there only makes the abyss darker.”

“Oh, Elaine... I’m so sorry.” He kissed my forehead. “Now, let me tell you where I was wrong, and why I need your forgiveness. And where you need to be reasonable with me.”

“Are we bargaining, Doctor?”

He clutched the back of my head. “Xavier. Call me, Xavier...” He tugged my hair, forcing a surprised gasp from my lips. “Say my name.”

I stared at him, but remained silent. He might have the upper hand, but he wasn’t going to win the battle. For fuck’s sake, I’d quit my job to get away from him.

His chest rumbled with frustration. “So be it.” He shifted and pressed closer to me, forcing my legs farther apart. He cleared his throat. “I’ve spent a lot of time doing my own thing—coming and going as I pleased. I underestimated how you might perceive my actions. I’ve never had a normal relationship. Hell, for most of our marriage, Lydia and I weren’t even on the same continent. Since her death, I often found myself lost in my latest obsession. Thoughtless of me, I know.”

“It’s who you are. I came to terms with that today.”

He stroked my cheek with his thumb. “I’d hardly call that...” He pointed to the Amazon box. “Coming to terms. You were running.”

I stretched my shoulder; the angle of the cuffs cramped my muscles. “I had a good teacher.”

He raised an eyebrow. “I might deserve that, but just because I wasn’t here doesn’t mean I didn’t think of you. In fact, you are a major distraction.” He lowered his lips to the corner of mine and whispered, “Every night before I fall asleep, you are there.” He placed a soft kiss on my upper lip.

Damn him. My body betrayed me with every touch.

He breathed, “I thought of you touching me. How good you felt when we made love. I ended up crying out your name while I fisted my cock.”

The surrender he fished for was replaced by fury. “I hope it was good for you. Because you want to know what that time was like for me?” I nipped his lip with my teeth, willing myself not to bite too hard in frustration, and responded before he had a chance to answer. What he thought didn’t matter. “I lay awake wondering if you were alive. If I’d done something to make you abandon me. If the Society had imprisoned you. If I had been played, and your declarations were all a game. That’s what I did each night...while you got off.”

His head slumped and rested against my shoulder. “I am so sorry.” His arms encircled me. “I told you I get fixated.”

“Picking up a phone never occurred to you? To let me hear my name on your lips? Honestly, Doctor, you can’t be that dense and that brilliant at the same time.”

Every time I called him doctor he tensed, giving me a selfish sense of satisfaction.

He nuzzled my neck. His gusto gone. “Will you let me explain?”

I pulled on the cuffs. “I’m not going anywhere. Besides, I am curious to find out what was worth my sanity and my job.”

“Your job?” He pulled back to look into my eyes.

I laughed. “I’m really done with you. I sent my resignation less than thirty minutes before you arrived.” I returned his stare, but magnified the intensity.

“You haven’t heard my explanation.”

“True, but as far as we’re concerned, I’m done. The minute you release the cuffs, I’m packing your stuff back in that box, and you’re on your way, dear Doctor.”

He sighed and slumped against me. His arms encircled my waist. The scent of his cologne brought back memories I needed to suppress. I inhaled, cursing him and his delicious scent.