Surviving Regret (50 page)

Mom and dad are going to be so disappointed in me. Hunter’s mom too. All they want is to see us graduate and make something of ourselves, and I messed it all up. I dreaded telling them that I made a mistake, but I would live up to it. It was my fault that I got Hunter and me into this mess.

My brothers were going to kill Hunter. Yes, Cooper and Jackson were ok with us dating, but I didn’t know how to tell them about
this
. And Mason? He really was going to murder Hunter. There is no way I could let them find out.

I needed to get out of here. I needed to figure out what I was going to do. I put the test back in the box and shoved it in my purse. I ducked out of the bathroom, but the smell of bacon and eggs hit me again. I quickly shut the door and took a couple of deep breaths, trying to think of anything but getting sick.

My stomach settled. I could do this. I would walk out there and say I have to go do something with mom and pray I didn’t get sick.

I knelt by the baby. “Hey, Alex, Aunt Kenzie has to go. Grandma needs me to go with her to the store. I’ll see you later, ok?” I kissed the little peach fuzz on his head.

I hugged Jackson. “I’ll talk to you later. Mom wants me to run some errands with her.”

“You’re not going to stay for breakfast?”

My stomach clenched. “No, I’m not really hungry anyway.”

Chloe kissed my cheek. “Call me later. We need to catch lunch so we can talk about the wedding. I have some ideas for bridesmaids dresses.”

Oh my God, there is no way I can be in that wedding looking like a whale. “Sure, sounds good.”

I heard footsteps behind me before I made it to the car. I pretended I hadn’t noticed Jackson following, but he stopped me before I drove off.

“You sure everything is ok?” He asked. “You hate waking up before noon.”

“Yeah, I just couldn’t sleep. I haven’t been sleeping well since Hunter and I broke up. No big deal.”

“I’ll talk to Mason and Hunter this week and get this shit worked out. I don’t want there to be any problems at my wedding.”

“No!” I yelled a little too loud. “No, it’s fine. Mason said he was going to talk to Hunter, so just let them work it out, ok?”

“Fine, but if by the end of the week those assholes aren’t talking, I’m going to make them.”

“Do whatever you want, but just let them work it out themselves first.” My phone beeped from inside my purse. I dug it out. It was Chloe, saving me. “That’s mom. I gotta go.”

Jackson let me into the car. When I got home, Hunter’s truck was in the driveway. I didn’t want to go in, but I didn’t have anywhere else to go since Hailey was here. My other friends were gone for spring break or still at school. I parked next to Hunter’s truck and decided to try to sneak in the back door and up the steps.

I wasn’t lucky. Hunter, Mason, and Hailey were at the kitchen table. I shut the door, kept my head down and walked right out of the kitchen. A chair scraped against the floor.

“Wait,” Hunter said.

I didn’t. My feet hit the steps and I ran to my room, locking it tight. Hunter banged against the wood.

“CC, we need to talk. Let me in.”

I dropped my head back against the door. Why now? I couldn’t do this. I couldn’t worry about him. I needed to worry about me.

“CC, please open the door.” He tried to wiggle the door handle.

“Hunter, go away. I don’t have anything to say to you.” My voice started to crack. I wanted him to come in here and tell me everything would be ok. But he couldn’t. If he knew, he’d be running the other way.

“This isn’t over,” he said, frustrated. “I’ll be back.”

I collapsed on my bed, sobbing. I really messed everything up. Once Hunter found out about me being pregnant, he would leave me, probably for good. How could I be so stupid? I put my headphones in and eventually cried myself to sleep.

I woke after it got dark. I pulled my headphones out and turned on the lamp. Hunter sat at the end of the bed.

I sat up. “How did you get in here?”

“Mason picked the lock since you weren’t answering anyone. Once we came in, we realized you had your headphones in.” He shook his head. “I thought you did something stupid.”

“Well, now that you know I didn’t, you can go.”

He sighed. “Is this how things are going to be with us now? Can we not even be in the same room together? I love you, CC. I’m sorry for the way shit went down between us. I didn’t know how to handle it.”

“It’s a little too late for apologies now.”

Don’t cry. Hold it together.

“You told me you wouldn’t break my heart again, and you did.” So much for not crying. “You said you picked me this time, but you didn’t. Just go.”

“No, I’m not leaving. I did pick you. I do pick you.” He climbed next to me. I moved away. “I know I acted like an asshole. I am an asshole. I shouldn’t have taken it out on you. You don’t need that. Mason and I talked, and I think he finally gets that I’m not going to hurt you. Look…”

I cut him off. “But you did exactly what he said you would do. You hurt me, Hunter. I can’t…”

He slammed his lips down on mine. He tried to deepen the kiss but I wasn’t having it. I couldn’t with the secret between us. Hunter’s fingertips reached the bottom of my shirt, lying on my stomach.

I pushed him back; I couldn’t let him touch me, especially not my stomach. “Stop, you can’t make everything better by doing that.”

“CC, I love you. I need you.” Hunter said, breathing heavy.

I turned my head towards the window and whispered, “I don’t need you.”

He sucked in sharp breath. “You don’t mean that; I know you don’t. Your flushed body and goosebumps tell me you don’t. CC, baby, talk to me. We have to fix this. I’m screwed up without you.”

I had to get him out of here. He was killing me.

“There isn’t anything left for you to fix. Dominic took care of me when you wouldn’t.”

I sobbed the last part out. I couldn’t believe that had come out of my mouth.

Hunter sat up, and ran his hand through his hair. I wanted to run my hands through the same hair. God, why didn’t he just leave? He stared at me. I could see the storm in his eyes, the rage pulsing through his body. This was what I needed him to feel to keep him away from me. I needed to figure out this pregnancy on my own. I couldn’t burden him with this.

“Are you fucking serious?” he finally asked.

I nodded. He stormed out of my room. A few minutes later, his truck started. I scrambled over to my purse called Dominic.

“Kenzie, hang on.” He must have been at a party. I couldn’t hear him over the music. “Hey, everything ok?”

Twisting my fingers, I said, “Um, not really. Where are you?”

“At Jason’s party with Brittany, what’s going on?”

“I kind of just told Hunter that you’ve been taking care of me. I’m sorry.” I said.

“Don’t worry about it. So, I guess you took the test?” I heard keys jiggling in the background.

“Yeah, and I’m sure you already know the answer.” I said, trying not to cry again for the hundredth time.

“Yeah, I’m going to swing by. Is that ok?”

“What about Brittany? I don’t think it’s such a good idea. Hunter might come back. And then World War III might start.”

“Don’t worry about Brittany. She’ll understand. Why don’t you meet me at the park around the corner? I’ll pick you up there and we’ll talk.”

I looked over at the clock. It was only nine, and I had slept for so long that I wasn’t tired. “Yeah, ok, ten minutes and I’ll meet you there.”

I put my shoes back on, threw my hair up in a ponytail and pulled on one of Hunter’s hoodies. It still smelled exactly like him. It gave me a little comfort knowing his smell wrapped around me. The pain in my chest was not any less, but I would deal with that one day at a time.

Dominic waited for me on one of the park benches. He handed me some crackers and a ginger ale.

I looked at Dominic and smiled. This was my old Dominic: sweet, caring and loving.

“This always helps when I get sick.” He shrugged.

“Thank you, but I think it’s better if I don’t eat for now since my stomach is settled.”

“Yeah, ok. So, you are pregnant, huh?” He didn’t look me in the eyes.

“Yes, but you already knew that.”

Dominic chuckled. “Well, actually I didn’t. Logan did.”

What?
“Logan knew?”

Dominic moved his hand back into his lap. “He called me Thursday. His sister was the exact same way when he was home on Christmas break.”

“Oh.” Logan was talking about
me
.

“So,” he looked nervous, like he wasn’t sure we should be talking about this or not. “What are you going to do?”

“Honestly, I have no idea. I’m so scared; I’m not ready to be a mom yet, but...” I took a deep breath. “I don’t really have a choice now. It’s not weird or anything for me to be talking to you about this, is it?”

“No, I think I always knew deep down that you would wind up with Hunter, but I kept hoping it would be me,” he said.

Dominic and I talked for two hours before I realized how late it was. I didn’t take my phone with me, so I knew that my brothers would come looking for me. Dominic walked me home, but everyone was waiting when we got to the house. Including Hunter.

“So, it’s probably a good idea if I walk up alone.” I wrapped my arms around myself.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right. I’ve had Hunter beat my ass enough this year.” He said. “Plus, Brittany is waiting for me.”

“How are things with Brittany?”

“Well, not so good right now. She came all the way up here to confront me about knocking you up.”

“What! How does she know?”

“She doesn’t. I denied everything. She just thought she knew.”

“Well, thanks for everything, Dominic. I’ll talk to you later, I’m sure.”

He tucked his hands in his pocket and nodded. “I think you should tell him, Kenzie. He may be pissed off at first. Shit, he may not even believe you, but he needs to know. Figure things out together you know. He is just as much a part as this as you are.”

A few tears fell. “Thanks, we’ll see what happens.”

I gave him a kiss on the cheek and went home.

CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

Everyone was watching movies in the living room. I peeked in to see if Hunter was in there and, thankfully, he wasn’t. I sat on the arm of the couch near Mason.

“Hey, where were you?” Hailey asked.

“Oh, I just went for a walk, trying to clear my head.” I grabbed the hem of my shirt, messing with it, trying not to make eye contact.

“Kenzie, can I talk to you for a minute outside?” Jaylinn asked.

“Um, yeah, sure.” I followed her to the deck.

“So, I know shit is all screwed up with you and Hunter, but what you said to him was fucked up, Kenz. You know how much he hates Dom for what he did to you. What do you do? You go and throw that shit in his face. That’s low, Kenz.”

I didn’t think she would understand and I didn’t expect her to. I just hoped after I figured everything out, that she would understand.

“I know you mean well, but you don’t understand. I stay out of your relationship with Coop. Please, stay out of mine.”

“I know and I’m trying. I just want you to know that it is killing him, Kenz. He’s a mess. Coop and I had to go pick him up from the bar just a little bit ago. He never drinks like this.” A shadow passed by the light from the deck, but she kept talking. “Please, at least talk to him.”

“Stay out of it, Jay!” Hunter’s voice boomed through the silent night. He came down the stairs to where we were on the patio. “Mind your own fucking business.”

Jaylinn crossed her arms. “I’m just trying to help, but you two seem to be doing such a fucking good job that I will let you be.” She stomped off towards the house.

I didn’t want to wait around to see if I was the one who got yelled at next, so I followed her in and went up to my room. In a small way, I hoped Hunter would have asked me to talk, but I knew it was for the best that he didn’t.

I decided to relax in a nice hot bath. I had to deal with this one way or another. I would have to talk to mom. She had handled Jackson and Chloe’s pregnancy pretty well. I could only hope she would handle this that well too.

After I turned all wrinkly and the water had run cold, I got out to get dressed, but I left my clothes on my dresser. I peeked into the hall to see if the coast was clear and dashed into my room.

I had dropped my towel, and was pulling on my tank top when the door to my room flew open. I yelped.

“What the hell, Hunter, get out!”

He froze in place, staring at my bare ass.

“Hunter!” I yelled again.

“Why didn’t you lock the door?”

I grabbed my shorts and pulled them on. “I shouldn’t have to. Normal people knock first, asshole.”

He tucked a piece of my hair behind my ear and took a deep breath. I stood completely still, waiting for his next move. “God, CC, you’re killing me. You need to talk to me. I know I screwed up and took shit out on you, but we can work it out. Just stop running from me.” He started swaying where he stood.