SWEET ANTICIPATION (21 page)

Slowly at first, he moved inside her until their passion had built to the boiling point. She cried his name and her fingers frantically gripped the soft flesh of his back as she felt herself teeter on the edge. Explosions of sheer ecstasy rippled through her and she hung on to them as long as she could before she let herself float lazily back to earth. Vaguely she was aware that Jordan had, with one final thrust, reached his own pinnacle and she clung to him until they both relaxed.

Rolling his weight off her, but leaving his leg wrapped around hers and his arm draped possessively around her shoulders, Jordan waited until his breathing slowed and his heart settled down to a more normal rhythm before he tried to speak.

“That was incredible,” he whispered, idly stroking her hair away from her damp forehead. “I knew we would be good together, but I never expected it to be
that
good.”

She nodded, so satisfied and drained that even slight movement was an effort. “I never realized it could be that way,” she admitted. “Is it possible for it to be like that again, or was it a once-in-a-lifetime experience?”

“I believe it will be that wonderful between us forever,” he murmured, nibbling on her earlobe. “Haven’t you ever thought about what a coincidence, a twist of fate it was that brought us together? I think we were meant to meet and fall in love and we’ve been fighting it too long and too hard.”

“Does that mean that you’ve fallen in love with me?” she asked, unconsciously holding her breath as she waited for his answer. If he told her no, she would be shattered, but if he told her yes, this would be the happiest night of her life.

Lifting himself up on one elbow, he gazed tenderly down into her eyes. There was such a warmth and an intensity in the depths of his smoky-gray eyes that she had her answer even before he spoke.

“My sweet, precious Lauren, you’ve become the most important person in my life. Every other relationship I’ve had before I met you pales in comparison to what I feel for you. I’ve been so afraid that I would lose you before I could tell you exactly how much I care for you.”

“Then why did you change your mind about getting married?”

“I never changed my mind about that. I’ve wanted to marry you for months. The thought of seeing you the first thing every morning and the last thing every night was beyond my wildest dreams. But after I had considered our peculiar situation, I decided the timing wasn’t right. You were going through so many changes, physically and emotionally, and I didn’t want you to ever have a reason to regret making a commitment while you were vulnerable. Of course, I would have preferred that we married before Melanie was born so that there would be no more questions about who her father is, because then my name would have been on the birth certificate.”

So there it was again. They were back to the paternity issue. His omission of the word love from everything that he had said was like a slap in the face. She was important to him and he cared about her, but those same descriptions could have applied to his rabbit, Harry, or Buffy, his dog. It was only a small consolation that he didn’t seem to be planning on abandoning her as she had feared, but would like to go forward with their wedding plans.

If she accepted his proposal, and she knew she would, then she would have to be willing to accept his affection and his passion while waiting for his love. It wasn’t exactly what she would have wished for, but it was better than not having him at all.

“I suppose we really should get up now,” she said, moving on to a less dangerous subject. “Melanie will be hungry in about an hour and we won’t have time to eat our own dinner if we don’t hurry.”

The light from a full moon leaked through the crack where the draperies met, bathing the bed in a soft romantic glow. Jordan gazed down at Lauren whose body seemed like polished alabaster but felt warm and incredibly soft beneath his fingers. He felt a fresh surge of desire rush through him. He had been patient for so long that now he couldn’t seem to get enough of her.

One of his fingertips traced the curve of her jaw before stopping beneath her chin. Gently lifting her face toward him, he dropped feather-light kisses on her eyelids, the tip of her nose, and finally, the corners of her mouth. “If we’ve got an hour, let’s not waste it eating dinner. I can think of several things I’d rather have in my mouth right now than food.” His hand moved to cover one of her breasts, his thumb rubbing across the nipple until it hardened into a tight pink bud.

An anticipatory tingle raced up her spine at his provocative words, his stimulating caresses, and the evidence of his own arousal pressing against her thigh. As long as he continued to want her she had reason to believe that he would eventually fall in love with her. Besides, she had never experienced anything so powerfully moving as when he was making love to her.

“I’d always heard the way to a man’s heart was through his stomach,” she teased, casting him a flirtatious glance from under the dark-lashed fringe of her half-closed eyelids.

“I will admit that this was the first time I’ve had to take off an apron before I made love.”

“I have one that’s all sheer, frilly lace that I’ll have to model for you sometime—with nothing underneath, of course.”

“Lord, woman,” he groaned, “I may never eat dinner again. Heck, I may never leave this room as long as you’ll stay here with me.”

“I’m not going anywhere,” she whispered, resting her palm against his cheek as he lowered his head to claim her lips.

This time their lovemaking was slow and satisfying as they savored each kiss and caress until they lay exhausted in each other’s arms. Jordan didn’t know how long he had slept before Melanie’s hungry cries awakened him. When Lauren stirred beside him he dropped a quick kiss on top of her golden head as he slipped his arm out from under her and tenderly tucked the blanket around her shoulders. After pulling on his slacks, he rushed to quiet Melanie before she disturbed Lauren’s sleep.

He changed the baby’s diaper and fed her what he hoped would be her last bottle of formula for the night. While Melanie cooed and gurgled in her infant carrier, Jordan nibbled on the cold roast beef as he transferred it and the rest of the meal Lauren had fixed for them, into storage containers and stacked them in the refrigerator. After he had cleaned the kitchen he checked the locks on all the doors, turned out the lights in that part of the house and carried Melanie back to the nursery where he spent the better part of the next hour talking to and rocking the little girl, thrilled to have a quiet time alone with the child who might be his daughter.

It had occurred to him while he was out of town that he would prefer that those blood tests never be performed on the child. Jordan no longer cared who the biological father was because he had already accepted her as his own. It was irrelevant whose blood ran through her veins because he had been the one to feel her kicking and tumbling while still inside her mother’s womb, and he had been the one who had watched her being born, participating in the miracle of her safe birth. Now it was he who enjoyed giving her a bottle and who didn’t mind changing her diapers. Jordan felt he had earned the right to be accepted as Melanie’s father, without question and without verification.

The thought that the blood tests might go against him made his own blood run cold. He felt that he and Lauren were so very near a permanent commitment, but how might those results affect their future? He wanted to see his name on Melanie’s birth certificate and to have her go through life as Melanie Daniels instead of Melanie Nelson. Might Lauren want to let her child carry that constant reminder of Johnny throughout her youth if the tests proved that Jordan were not the father? He understood that Lauren wouldn’t do it to hurt him, but as a fulfillment of a promise she had made long before she met him.

Melanie grew heavy in his arms as her eyelids fluttered closed. She had fought sleep, seeming to enjoy this time together with him as much as he had. For several minutes longer, he gazed down at her, so proud of what he and Lauren had created that he felt his heart would burst. This child was the most wonderful thing that had ever happened to him, not just because of her own special self, but because she had brought him together with Lauren.

He gently laid Melanie on her back in her crib. He spread a light blanket over the baby, then turned out the overhead light leaving only a low-wattage night-light burning.

He never considered putting on the rest of his clothes and returning to his own home for the remainder of the night. Instead he noticed his step quicken as he headed for the bedroom where he had left Lauren sleeping peacefully. He hadn’t turned a light on when he had gotten up and he didn’t bother with one now, managing to negotiate the short distance from the doorway to the bed with only one minor accident when his toes crunched against the leg of the nightstand. Muttering a mild curse, he took off his slacks and eased between the sheets, sliding across them until he encountered her warm body.

Lauren was lying on her side, facing away from him. Jordan wrapped his arm around her and snuggled up against her back, curving around her until they fit together like two pieces of the same puzzle. He sighed as he breathed in the feminine fragrance of her light perfume and the cleanness of her hair. Soon he was fast asleep.

S
UNBEAMS HAD REPLACED
the earlier moonlight between the panels of the draperies, bringing Jordan wide awake. During the night Lauren had turned over and now had her back to the window, thus shielding her from the early morning brightness. For several minutes he continued to lie in bed, trying to will himself back to sleep, but he wasn’t accustomed to getting more than six or seven hours’ rest and he had exceeded that amount last night. As much as he hated the thought of leaving the comfort and contentment of lying next to Lauren, he thought he heard Melanie fidgeting in the nursery and decided to get up and check on her.

The air conditioner had done almost too good a job of cooling off the small house and Jordan not only put on his slacks but also his shirt, which he left unbuttoned and with the tails hanging loose. Padding barefoot down the short hallway to the nursery, he checked on the baby, but found that she was still sleeping peacefully. The noise he had heard had been the sound of her bumping against the headboard where she had pushed herself into one of the corners. Jordan pulled her back and replaced the blanket, then returned to Lauren’s bedroom.

Idly, he wandered around the brightly lit room, noticing the items neatly arranged on the dresser. His attention turned to the pictures and other framed objects she had hung on the walls. There were several photographs of Melanie, holding the place of honor next to the mirror. But farther down the wall, there was an eight-by-ten photo of a happily smiling Lauren dressed in a beautiful snow-white wedding gown and standing next to a thin, attractive youth who could only have been her beloved Johnny. They both looked very young and incredibly innocent.

Jordan moved on to the next picture frame, which held a photograph of Johnny in a cap and gown and waving a rolled diploma, obviously celebrating his graduation from high school. The following frame contained that diploma while the one beside it displayed his certified license to sell insurance. There were more pictures of him sailing a boat or standing next to what must have been his new car, along with several awards and honors, all belonging to Johnny.

With a frown, Jordan turned away. He had walked completely around the room until he was now standing on the other side of the bed. From this angle he got a clear view of the nightstand, which he hadn’t really noticed the previous night except when he had stubbed his toe on it in the dark. Between the alarm clock and a telephone was an elaborately framed close-up of Johnny’s face.

A burning anger flared inside Jordan. The previous night he had been so distracted by desire and the intoxicating sweetness of holding Lauren in his arms that he hadn’t realized there were so many mementos of her life with Johnny in this room. Now it seemed to him that it was almost as if her husband had been watching them each time they had made love.

Lauren shifted on the bed, thrusting her arm out from beneath the covers and turning her head toward the window. The sunlight brought out the bright gold highlights in her honey-colored hair, but Jordan barely noticed them as his gaze was immediately drawn to the sparkle on her left hand. With anger he noted that she was still wearing her wedding and engagement rings. Seeing those rings and all the pictures and mementos of Johnny on every wall and piece of furniture in the bedroom had the same effect as waving a red flag in front of a bull. It brought all of his jealousies and self-doubts rushing back to the surface.

During his week in DC he had imagined that she would be missing him as much as he was missing her. He had thought that surely, given this time apart to think about how good things could be between them, she would have packed away all these memories and welcomed her future with Jordan with open arms. All evening she had given every impression that all of his hopes had come true. She had responded to him with such ardor that he hadn’t even considered the possibility that Johnny was still very much a part of her life. Nothing had changed—nothing at all, except that Jordan was tired of being the chump.