Sweet Trouble (12 page)

She’d just put Gabe to bed. Being with him had helped shake some of her mood after her aborted dinner with Matt, but not all of it.

“Red then.” Paula opened the bottle and poured them each a glass. “The tannins are supposed to be good for us.”

“I need something that is.”

They went into the family room. Paula settled on the sofa while Jesse curled up in a wing chair.

“I’m so confused,” Jesse admitted. “I know he’s angry. Part of me wants to understand and part of me wants to point out that I did try to tell him the truth. I can’t figure out what he’s thinking or what he’s after.”

“He was totally out of his element with Gabe,” Paula told her. “I probably should have helped, but I was too angry. I can’t believe he let you go, knowing you were pregnant.”

“He never thought the baby was his.”

“Still. He should have been sure.”

Jesse agreed, but that didn’t change the past. “I know this is all a surprise to him and that his son is a stranger. Matt is trying, but there’s still so much anger. Does he really want a relationship with Gabe? Can he get past wanting to punish me?” And, Jesse added silently, had his kisses meant anything?

“A lot of this is my fault,” Paula said. “I never expected to have kids. I grew up poor and always had terrible taste in men. If they weren’t hitting me, they were running off with my money. I knew I wanted more. I wanted to be respectable, so I worked three jobs to save the money to learn how to be a dental hygienist.”

“That can’t have been easy,” Jesse said, trying not to react to Paula’s confessions. She’d had no idea the other woman had struggled so much when she’d been younger.

“It wasn’t, but I made it. On my thirty-fifth birthday I met my last deadbeat. He ran off with my savings and left me pregnant. I knew I hit bottom and I was done trying. It was too much. I went out for a drive and when a truck crossed the double yellow line and headed right for me, I didn’t bother trying to swerve. I was going to take the easy way out.”

Jesse held in a gasp. “I had no idea.”

“It’s not something I’m proud of. I figured I’d be dead and all my troubles would be over.” She took a sip of her wine. “Except I didn’t die. I don’t remember anything about the crash. I woke up on the side of the road. The car was totaled and there wasn’t a scratch on me. I decided God had sent me a message and I was going to listen. I’d been given a second chance and I was going to make the most of it.”

Jesse understood, because she’d been given that same second chance. “Your baby.”

Paula nodded. “I vowed to be the best mother I could, no matter what. I did everything I could think of for Matthew. Maybe too much. I know I kept him too close to me. I liked that I was the most important person in his life and I didn’t want that to change. I was lonely and he was all I had.”

“You didn’t do anything wrong,” Jesse told her.

“You’re lovely to say that, but we both know I made plenty of mistakes. I kept him dependent. I didn’t push him to try new things. I held on too tight.”

Jesse sighed. “We do the best we can with what we have. Didn’t Maya Angelou say that? And when we know better, we do better.”

“I wish I’d known better sooner. I might not have lost him. That’s the irony. I thought I was losing him to you, but in the end, I pushed him away myself.”

“I never wanted to take him from you. Not the way you thought. I just wanted him to be the best he could be.”

“I should have seen that. Instead, I reacted. Matthew’s right. I was happy when I went to see you and Nicole said those things. I knew he would never forgive you. I’m so ashamed of that.”

Jesse knew she could be angry at Paula and justify the emotion. But to what end? “We both made mistakes. Maybe I shouldn’t have left. Except I needed to stand on my own. I guess I had to grow up, too. But I wasn’t deliberately trying to cut you out of Gabe’s life. I honestly never thought you’d be interested.”

“I know,” Paula told her. “With all that happened, what else would you think?”

Jesse felt bad. “I want us to be friends now. I really appreciate you letting Gabe and me stay here. And I know it’s important for Gabe to know his family.”

“I’m happy to have you. As for Matthew, maybe he just needs time.”

Jesse wasn’t sure. “I can’t figure out who he is. The good guy or the bastard.”

“Maybe he’s both.”

Maybe. But where did that leave her?

Heath nodded and sank into a chair. “You already guessed that.”

“Now we’re both sure.”

“This means you can move forward with the paperwork anytime you’re ready. It’s ready to file.”

“Good to know.”

He could set the wheels in motion with just a phone call. Threaten what Jesse cared about most. Take her son from her.

But Gabe wasn’t just her son. Matt was his father.

It had been a week since the disastrous visit to his mother’s and he’d been unable to forget the sound of Gabe crying. He’d disappointed the boy and he didn’t have a clue as to what had gone wrong. He just knew he never wanted to feel that bad again. He never wanted to make his son cry.

“You know much about kids?” he asked his lawyer.

Heath raised his eyebrows. “Hell, no. Why would I want to?”

“You’ll have them someday.”

“I guess. I’m not the family type. Just like you.”

Matt nodded slowly. These days he avoided entanglements, but years ago, he’d seen himself married, with a family. He’d wanted that in his life.

It had been the usual vague fantasies, him teaching some faceless child to ride a bike. Which he could do now, with Gabe. Assuming Uncle Bill didn’t get there first.

“What about the investigation?” he asked.

Heath shrugged. “I have a preliminary report.” He nodded at the folder. “It’s early yet, but so far, there’s nothing incriminating. Jesse lives quietly in a small rented house in a typical neighborhood. There’s no evidence of a boyfriend. She doesn’t party, doesn’t go out at all. She worked, went to college, took care of her kid.”

That wasn’t possible, Matt thought. “What about Bill?”

“He’s her boss at the bar. Old guy. The investigator is still digging, but so far he hasn’t found anything on the two of them. Looks like Bill was just her boss and a friend.”

Heath’s expression turned sympathetic. “We haven’t found anything we can use against her in court. There’s the fact that she had the kid without telling you. The judge won’t like that.”

Except they didn’t have that, Matt thought angrily. She had told him and he hadn’t believed her. Wouldn’t have believed her. She had to know that. When he’d found out about Drew, it was as if he’d found out she’d been mocking him the whole time.

“How far back can we go?” he asked. “What about who she was before she got pregnant?”

“You know something?”

“I might.” Enough to leave her bleeding on the side of the road.

“Let me know if you want me to use it.”

Matt nodded, knowing there was plenty to be found. Jesse had told him herself. But while he could remember exactly how she’d looked as she’d confessed her past to him all those years ago, he couldn’t imagine sharing her secret. Not when she’d been so broken and ashamed in the telling.

He’d promised her the past didn’t matter. Back then, it hadn’t. Now? Now he wasn’t so sure, except for one thing. He was never going to be the nice guy again.

“Tell your PI to keep digging,” he said. “There has to be something.”

“Will do.” Heath rose. “And then what?”

Interesting question. “Hell if I know,” Matt admitted. “I guess I win.”

“We want to generate interest. So far brownie sales have been excellent, but more is always better.”

“Excellent is a bit of a stretch,” Nicole said, returning the sheet to Jesse.

“They’re completely above target.” Jesse opened her folder and pulled out the projections she’d been working on. “Here’s what I had hoped we would sell in the first two weeks. We’ve nearly doubled that. As you can see, we made money on them the first day. With a little advertising, they can become a great seller. Buying a cake requires a commitment, but brownies can be an impulse purchase. Plus, I want to talk about them in gourmet terms so they become something people serve as dessert. I have some ideas for seasonal displays.”

She handed those over to her sister, along with the sales projection.

Nicole’s gaze dropped to the bottom of the sheet. “Internet sales?”

“They’re an obvious next step.”

“You want to do that again?”

Jesse took a deep breath. She knew she was being baited. She told herself to remain calm. That everything was fine. She was mature and able to deal with her sister. The fact that Nicole kept bringing up Jesse selling the famous Keyes cakes on the Internet five years ago was simply an annoying quirk.

“This is totally different,” Jesse said with a smile. “Internet sales are easy. Brownies travel well, the customer pays the cost of shipping and handling, which means our profits aren’t compromised. The prepared packages will be picked up by the carrier of our choice. It’s not a high-risk operation.”

“We don’t have room to do shipping here,” Nicole said. “We’re already jammed in as it is. And before you suggest it, another location would be too expensive for a trial effort that’s probably going to fail.”

Jesse felt her temper slipping. She grabbed on with both hands and held it in.

“I know you’re happy with the sales,” Nicole continued, sounding more like a mom than a business partner. “But this is the rush of something new. They’re going to level off. Let’s see what the real numbers are before we make any commitments.”

“We’ve barely begun to figure out even a piece of the market,” Jesse told her, hating the sense of being talked down to. “There’s buzz. We’re already getting calls from people who’ve moved out of the Seattle area and have heard about the brownies from their friends who still live here.”

“I know you want these to be the next big thing, but they’re not,” Nicole told her. “That sounds harsh, I know. I don’t mean it that way. I’m just saying—”

“You’re just saying you want me to fail,” Jesse snapped. “This isn’t even about the brownies. It’s about the past. It’s about Drew. Despite the fact that I have
told
you nothing happened, you don’t believe me. Or maybe you could but you don’t want to. It’s easier to blame me and be angry.”

“Why should I believe you?” Nicole asked flatly.

That hurt. Jesse sucked in a breath. “Don’t. Call your ex-husband and ask him.” Not that Drew had told the truth before, but hopefully enough time would have passed for him to be willing to come clean. It wasn’t like she had a choice.

“You should have tried harder,” Nicole yelled as she came to her feet. “You should have fought him off. Why didn’t you? Why didn’t I hear you scream?”

Jesse couldn’t have been more surprised if Nicole had physically slapped her. She stood, not bothering to head off the anger exploding inside of her.

“Is that the condition of your forgiveness? Rape? Sorry to disappoint you. I wasn’t violated. Not that way.”

“That’s not what I mean,” Nicole snapped.

“Of course it is. I wasn’t after Drew. I didn’t try to get his attention. But that’s not good enough. If he didn’t attack me, I’m the bad guy. He blamed me and you believed him. You assumed the worst about me. You’re my sister. You’re supposed to know me better than anyone.”

“I did know you,” Nicole yelled. “I knew what you’d been in high school. Why would you have been any different with Drew?”

Once a slut, always a slut, Jesse thought sadly. That’s what it came down to.

She told herself it didn’t matter, except it did. It mattered and it hurt and she didn’t know how to make anything better between them. All she had was the present and today she was focused on her brownies. She took another deep breath.

“I can’t change the past,” she told her sister. “I’ve told you what happened and you either believe me or you don’t. I don’t know what else to say or do. So I’m done trying. As far as the brownies go, you’re wrong. We haven’t even begun to tap their potential. I want to run the ads. I’m an equal partner in the bakery and this isn’t an extraordinary expense.”

Nicole’s mouth tightened. “What happened to earning your way in?”

“I’m working my butt off here and you know it. While I’m willing to put in the time, I’m not willing to let your feelings about the past keep us from being successful.”

“Fine,” Nicole snapped. “Run the ads. Bake your brownies, but don’t get your hopes up. They’re not all that.”

Jesse collected her papers and walked out of her sister’s office. She made her way to the back where she could duck into the women’s restroom and try not to cry.

Why did it have to be like this? Why couldn’t Nicole give her at least half a break? Why did she have to assume the brownies were going to fail? Talk about a lack of faith and forgiveness.

She slowed her breathing. Gradually the burning behind her eyes faded. She sniffed, then made sure she hadn’t leaked mascara on her face. Once she decided she could probably pass for relatively normal, she left the restroom and the building.

But when she got in her car, she found she wasn’t ready to go back to Paula’s. She felt restless and uncomfortable in her own skin. Without considering her actions, she picked up her cell phone, scrolled through her recent call list and then pushed the send button.

“Matthew Fenner’s office,” a woman’s voice said. “May I help you?”

“Uh, this is Jesse. Is Matt around?”

“Just one moment, please. I’ll check.”

Meaning the woman would go ask him. She shouldn’t have called, she thought. Why go looking for more pain?

But before she could hang up, she heard him say, “Jesse? Everything all right?”

“Sure. I don’t know why I called.” Then she remembered her vow to not lie. “That’s not true. I called because I just had another fight with Nicole. The brownies are going great, but does she want to listen to any of my ideas? Of course not. She only wants to see me as a screwup. She wants me to fail. It’s getting to me. That’s all. I need to talk, but I know you’re busy—”

There was a pause, then he stunned her by saying, “Or you could come by the office and rant in person.”

“Really? Now?”

“Sure. Where are you?”

“At the bakery.”

“Come on over. I’ll order lunch in. You can call your sister all the names you want and I’ll agree.”

Despite everything, she smiled. “I’d like that.”

Thirty minutes later, she parked by the large building that housed his company and made her way to the elevator. She went to the top floor where a well-dressed receptionist directed her toward a long corridor. Jesse tried not to feel underdressed in her jeans and T-shirt. She’d come straight from the bakery and working in the back meant comfortable clothes she didn’t mind getting dirty.

Rather than notice how great everything she saw looked, she glanced into the offices and noticed that the closer she got to the end, the bigger they got. At the end of the hallway, she turned left and saw a fifty-something woman sitting at a desk.

“You must be Jesse,” the woman said. “I’m Diane. Matt is waiting.”

“Hi,” Jesse said, wondering if this was the woman who told Matt what to do.

Diane walked into Matt’s office. “Jesse is here,” she said.

“Thanks, Diane. Have them hold lunch until I call for it.”

“Sure.”

Diane smiled at Jesse, then moved out of the room. She closed the door as she went.

Jesse stood in the middle of the big space and tried not to look as stupid as she felt. She shouldn’t have called, shouldn’t have come. She didn’t belong here. The Matt she’d known years ago had changed and the successful, wealthy stranger walking toward her didn’t look all that approachable.

“Sounds like Nicole’s giving you a hard time,” he said by way of greeting.

“I should go,” Jesse murmured.

“Don’t. You’re here now. Have a seat.”

He led her to a sofa with a view out the big windows. She sat down, then wished she’d brushed her butt first. Who knew what possible ingredients she might have on her jeans.

“Talk,” he said as he settled at the other end of the couch and faced her.

That made her laugh. “You’re a guy, Matt. You don’t do talk. You fix the problem, conquer your enemies, then go celebrate with a big, loud brawl.”

“I’m more evolved than that and I was never one to brawl. Now talk.”

She didn’t want to dump on him, but she didn’t have that many friends in Seattle. Not anymore. She’d lost touch with most of them when she’d moved away. While Paula was wonderful, she was already doing so much by helping out with Gabe. Complaining seemed a poor way to repay her.

“I just—” Jesse began, then sighed. “I don’t know why she bothered to agree to let me try to earn my way back into the bakery. She’s hoping I’ll fail. Or at least the brownies will. She’s not doing anything to help with the launch and she’s standing in the way of everything I want to do.”

“You’re part owner, aren’t you? Can’t you force her to do what you want?”

Jesse shrugged. “I played the ‘I’m a part of this, too’ card earlier. She didn’t like it. It’s just so frustrating. I’m not asking for special treatment here. I’m just asking that the brownies be given a chance. That she doesn’t always assume the worst. It’s been five years, but she’s not over any of it. I’ve changed, but she can’t see that.”

She looked at him, at his dark eyes, at the familiar mouth that now kissed so different. “I guess you two have that in common.”

“I know you’ve changed,” he said.

“You’re not acting like it. I didn’t cheat on you, Matt. How many times do I have to say that? How many times do I have to keep explaining?” She stood up. “You know what? I’m tired of it. I’m tired of it from her and from you and you can both go to hell.”

He rose. “Feel better?”

“A little. I’m just really pissed off.”

“Seriously? Because I didn’t get that from what you were saying.”

Against her will, despite everything that was happening, she smiled. Then she laughed. “Dammit, Matt, I’m not kidding.”

“Neither am I.” He motioned to the sofa. “Are we ready to sit again?”

She felt a little foolish as she settled back down. “Sorry. I’m kind of on edge.”

He angled toward her. “Jesse, you’ve known for a while you were coming back. You’ve had a chance to make plans, think it all through. You know what you want and how you’re going to get it. We don’t have that advantage. You show up here, unannounced, and expect me and Nicole to be okay with that. We’re still trying to catch up.”

As much as she didn’t want to admit it, she saw his point. “I don’t like it when you use reason against me.”

“Sorry. It’s all I’ve got.” He stared at her. “I’m mad as hell about Gabe. Sure, you told me you were pregnant, but you knew I didn’t believe you. You never tried to get in touch with me again. You never bothered to let me know when he was born. What the hell was up with that?”

Now she was the bad guy? She stood again. “What about all those things you said to me? You told me you didn’t care if the baby was yours?”

He rose. “I was wrong, but so were you. You knew Gabe was mine. You should have tried harder.”

She didn’t want to hear that. “You wouldn’t have listened.”

“We’ll never know what I would have done.”

She stared at him for a long time. Shame filled her. “Matt,” she whispered, fighting tears. “I’m sorry.” She’d come here to cry on his shoulder. This wasn’t the conversation she’d expected. “You hurt me so much.”

“I know. I’m sorry. You have no idea how much I regret what I said.”

Jesse wanted to believe him. Matt could see it in her face. But she wasn’t sure if she could trust him. If she’d known these past five years, she would know she couldn’t, but despite everything, Jesse had always believed in people, which was to his advantage.

She stared at him now, her big blue eyes dark with tears. God, she was beautiful. That hadn’t changed. If anything, she’d improved with time. The lines of her face were a little sharper and more defined. She was all grown up and about the sexiest female he’d ever seen.

He accepted the fact that he wanted her. It couldn’t be avoided. Sleeping with her would be a pleasure for both of them and where was the bad in that?

Now, as he moved toward her, sensing her vulnerability, he almost meant everything he said. Because caring about Jesse had been easy, too. Not that he was going to let himself forget what she’d done.

“You’re confusing me,” she admitted.